Kobold King

So, on Reddit someone asked the same question I've asked before: why doesn't Santa use his phenomenal magic powers to better the world in a way beyond delivering presents? Someone posted this response.

Does this rite involve shaking a spear?

Thanks! The Azzoccolans are but one of many races in my current setting. There are good eggs and bad eggs in any race, but the level of violence species engage in is variable. Some races think warfare is as insane as plucking your own eyes out; some races view it as a sport; some think it's a tragedy that can at times be an unfortunate necessity. And then you have races like the Yulli, who abhor violence so they developed a fleet of AI murder bots to commit violence for them on any species that comes too close to their homeworld. A non-violent species is by no means devoid of evil and dark thoughts...

"I am Terence Jonathan of the Humaneria Confederation. On behalf of Homo sapiens I extend joyful greetings to you." "Greetings. I am Alr Un Mi of the Azzoccolan Collective. We extend a cautious claw of cooperation towards you." "Your caution is respected. However, take comfort--human beings are a peaceful species." "You... you are?" "We are indeed." "Oh, thank the Harmonious! We have searched long and hard through this galaxy to find another peaceful civilization. There is so much... so much insanity scattered through the cosmos!" "Er, yes, yes there is. In the spirit of openness, I should stress that there's been some conflict in our human history..." "In ours too, Terence Jonathan. In the archives of Azzoccola there is a story buried deep by a generation long before. It tells of the most dreadful strife between two rival factions. Many wish for the conflict to be forgotten, but I and many other officers of the Collective believe it is important to remember it... lest it happen again." "In that we can be in perfect agreement. There's darkness in all species' histories. To be honest, when we first left for space, we worried that our history would be darker than most." "As did we. You see... it's difficult to put it into words, to discuss it so bluntly and without hiding the nastier parts of it... but long ago on Azzoccola, there was a piece of land that both factions wanted." "Many human conflicts started the same way." "The piece of land was located near an impoverished village suffering from a disease." "Yes, those living near the conflict always suffer the most." "And so two rival groups of Azzoccolans... they both... they both raced to the area, trying to be the first to establish a hospital and charitable outreach center for the people there!" "...what?" "It was truly awful. Fortunately it came to a somewhat peaceful end--one side agreed to cover the nutritional needs of the villagers, while the other group produced the medicine necessary for healing their plague. But this disagreement still remains as a dark badge of shame that will hang upon the neck of every Azzoccolan until the end of time." "..." "...Have I dishonored my kind already? I beg forgiveness, Terence Jonathan. We have changed since then--truly, we have evolved for the better!" "It's not that, Alr Un Mi. I'm just... huh. Rethinking the way we introduce ourselves." "It is as I feared. All races look at us askance when we tell them of this black chapter of our history." "..." "Our sensors detect your ship moving out of transmission range, Terence Jonathan. Are we truly so fearsome that you must flee from us now?" "No, it's not that. I think... I think I'll go revisit the Auschwitz memorial back on my planet. I need to do some thinking." "I see. Is Auschwitz where your kind fought its version of the Dread Hospital War?" "...Oh God. Our species really sucks..."

He's a telekinetic Epic with a battleaxe?

Interesting. What happens if an armless person cuts one of his arms off? ... Not that such a thing would ever come up in this RP.

Calamity appears in 2013. 2014 is when the first Epics start developing their powers. Annexation Day is September 24th, 2015. The current date is in September 2023. The events of Steelheart are in 2025. Hope that helps.

Claus cooties. Ugh.

Hmm... we've got weather manipulators and damage reflectors, but I haven't seen them combined like this. Looks really cool!

The muddy flavor isn't that bad, actually. I especially loved the front and tail fins, where the flavor was most concentrated. Of course we cook outside, too, which nullified any effects the smell might have had on our enjoyment.

♪ Hey Missy you so fine... ♪

Fat egomaniac, crawling down our chimneys and consuming our precious milk and cookies.

Yes, actually. I've also eaten frogs and fish from our pond, but those aren't quite as impressive.

I have eaten grasshoppers I collected from my own garden. Fried 'em up with vegetables. They were delicious.

Might as well post my contribution now, since everyone else is. Not one of you can wait until Christmas Day, it seems. This quasi-limerick series is for Stormgate, based on the incredible Epic concept he posted here! Bonus love from the Reckoners RPG: thanks to the magic of web tools, Stormgate now has an alternate pony self!

Gluten free pancakes for lunch today. Christmas truly is the most magical time of the year.

Eh, that's okay. None of us know what happened either.

Why?

...it just occurred to me that there are a lot of writers who would make Deathwish the antihero that Marilyn Susanson finds herself mysteriously attracted to. I think I need to go wash my brain out with soap.

"Are you having a heart attack, Mr. Reader?" "Ack... I just saw that you have never failed at anything in your... I can't figure out what to attack you over... agh..." "Don't worry, sir! My uncle who was a doctor taught me how to save a heart attack victim before he was hit by an ambulance driven by a mysterious driver!" "Oh, of course he did..."

BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW SPECIAL SHE IS

By the way guys, I wanted to introduce a new Portland character named Marilyn Susanson. She's a teenage girl who was at the top of her class before Calamity and her father taught her all about guns but she's still pretty idealistic despite the world she's in. Calamity's trying to make her an Epic because he think she is awesome enough to be his ultimate champion, so she has to team up with a quiet nice guy she grew up with and a handsome anti-hero she finds herself strangely attracted to in order to stop him once and for all!

I thought I'd talked about it before. It's a fun game, though most of the time our games descend into endless interspecies wars. Wait, did I say 'though'? I meant 'because'. Something like that. The idea of the game is simply for chaos to ensue when a bunch of mad gods tinker with a planet with no regard for what everyone else is doing, triggering ecological meltdowns, planet-spanning wars, and sentient gingerbread men with the unstoppable urge to destroy the world. It'll be a card game, so the primary way of doing these things is to combine various base cards together, hopefully allowing for near-limitless possibilities. I'm also toying with the idea of motive cards at the beginning establishing what sort of spirits the players are, kept secret from the other players unless it benefits them to reveal themselves. Spirits of war win if two equal races become locked in eternal conflict. Nature spirits win if they create the perfect ecosystem. Civilization guardians win if they create a species capable of leaving the planet, Ruin wins by destroying the planet, Discord wins by successfully inventing chocolate rain, etc etc. I've got more blank index cards than I know what to do with, so I think I'll design multiple prototypes for the game and figure out what works by trial and error.