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Kobold King

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Everything posted by Kobold King

  1. Kobold King
    Alright, everyone. Your democratically chosen course of action was to send a second phone call to the Chargers, requesting permission to send a team of diplomats. Here is your short update. It's been half an hour since last contact was made. Over the course of that time, Foundation surveillance specialists have tapped every cell phone in the building, recording as much audio information as they could. For the first ten minutes, few sounds besides the constant grumbling of the elephants can be made out. At one point commotion is heard over the line; the loud whirring sound from before starts again, prompting the usual trumpets and blares of the elephants--but this time, the whirring and the trumpeting is accompanied by what sounds sickeningly like sobbing. There's a brief spat of what may be a man shouting--he's indistinct over the sonorous machinery, but the words "--not going!" are distinguishable. The argument is short-lived, ended by the The whirring stops as abruptly as it's done each time, and no further incidents are heard. The barn is a quieter place from that point, with nothing but a few low and indistinct mumbles from the Chargers. Finally, the Foundation representative receives her instructions from the board of directors and makes a second phone call. The phone rings for almost two minutes before your contact answers, sounding slightly more composed than before but terrified nonetheless. "Kyle here," he says nervously. "Th-the First Lord is with me too. He's listening." "My directors are processing your demands, First Lord," the representative assures through the line. "We are requesting that you receive a team of scientists and diplomats. They will carry no weapons, nor will they interfere with your operations in any way. We just want to talk." An indistinct snorting is heard in the background, somewhere between the sound of a trombone and a man blowing his nose. The noise is clearly that of an elephant. Kyle gulps, but interprets hesitantly, a quiver to his voice. "Uh... he, he's not exactly laughing. He Who Trumpets Before the Storm, I mean. But... he thinks you're funny. He... he says... if the clever apes want to come and gawk, then they're welcome to. There will be no Charge until tomorrow morning. But... they may not enter this building. If they approach this building, he will.. he will personally grind their skulls into powder." Another pause. There's silence but for Kyle breathing and the elephant continuing to snort quietly in the background. Suddenly--startlingly--the teenager sucks in a deep breath and launches into a ramble: "They--they moved the other hostages! I'm the only one still here! There's a p--" A furious bellow sounds over the line, and Kyle is heard crying out in pain. The line hangs open for a full minute with nothing but indistinct trumpeting in the background, until the call is disconnected.
  2. Kobold King
    But I haven't gotten around to ponifying my little sister yet! Uh, I mean, sure. If TwiLyght doesn't want to I might.
  3. Kobold King
    Clearly the forum gremlins are secretly unfriending us behind our backs, hoping to sow discord between us. They're quite probably in league with Quota.
  4. Kobold King
    Sorry. I've shoveled a lot of stuff onto my plate both work-wise and forum-wise, and as a consequence I don't seem to be getting much of anything done. I'll post a short Backtrack scene as soon as I can. In other news, TwiLyghtSansSparkles just added me as a friend. I think my notifications manager is defective.
  5. Kobold King
    The first makes us sound like a bunch of trigger-happy morons, and the second makes it sound like we've been infiltrated at the higher levels by the Dark Forces. We need a new acronym. I'm writing the next update now.
  6. Kobold King
    No. It means that you'll be able to slide in one direction--backwards--whenever there's a dense, bum-bruising object or surface directly behind you. Not that I'm bitter or anything, of course. On that note, you know you're a Sanderfan when you wish you could access the Well of Ascension just so you could accelerate global warming and put an early end to winter.
  7. Kobold King
    Regrettably, yes. I'm a touch busy today but I'll include a quick update here soon.
  8. Kobold King
    Allow me to initiate you into a whole new world of crazy.
  9. Kobold King
    Does the Ancient Aliens guy from the meme count?
  10. Kobold King
    No worries. Here's the picture I posted.
  11. Kobold King
  12. Kobold King
    The Wheel of Time The Stormlight Archive The Mistborn Trilogy The Lord of the Rings Trilogy The Riftwar Saga The Belgariad The Bobbsey Twins The Borrowers The Codex Alera The Hitchhiker's Guide "Trilogy" Name six fictional creatures or characters that you, personally, would like to hug. No browsing webpages for "List of huggable creatures;" name your preferred hugmates from memory alone.
  13. Kobold King
    Sell because Brandon Sanderson is neither Satan nor a Librarian. There exists a race of people who live exclusively underground in the Cosmere.
  14. Kobold King
    Even without powers, Lucentia would be immortal. She'd complain about Hell so much that the Devil would get fed up and send her back to Earth.
  15. Kobold King
    "At least I'm not Nighthound." --Satan
  16. Kobold King
    Granted. Brandon Sanderson personally glued all the pages together. I wish for three magic beans, with no curse that will take anything more valuable than an old, milked out cow from me.
  17. Kobold King
    Well now I do. And even if you leave out "The," it's still Witch.
  18. Kobold King
    It sounds like a pretty boring place when you put it like that.
  19. Kobold King
    Paul Bettany Anthony Hopkins Natalie Portman Jeff Bridges Ben Kingsley Vin Diesel Zoe Saldana David Bradley Michael Rooker Robert Downey Jr. Chris Evans Chris Hemsworth Chris Pratt Tom Hiddleston Christopher Eccleston In case I got a few names wrong: Samuel L. Jackson, Edward Norton, Mark Ruffalo, Jeremy Renner, and James Spader. Without leaving this page--name ten forum threads on the 17th Shard.
  20. Kobold King

    Where will YOU be when the elephant terrorists strike?

    1. Show previous comments  13 more
    2. Kobold King

      Kobold King

      That couldn't hurt. Give them goggles; that way they can be both adorable AND badchull. :P

    3. TwiLyghtSansSparkles

      TwiLyghtSansSparkles

      I'll have the pugs cosplay as Prof! :D Don't ask me why; now is a time for pug cosplay it is not a time for stupid questions!

    4. SmurfAquamarineBodies

      SmurfAquamarineBodies

      Probs sitting in my room hoping to get taken. Even if I'm enslaved/tortured, well heaps of people have been enslaved/torture but I doubt many have been enslaved/tortured off-planet so that's bragging rights right there.

  21. Kobold King
    Race you there.
  22. Kobold King
    I'm gathering info for the next major update post (assuming the recon team proposal ultimately wins out.) How would these operatives make contact? Simply by slowly approaching one of the idle elephants that's out in the open while carrying a white flag?
  23. Kobold King
    Specifically, by that do you mean summoning all of the world's navies to Florida and beginning mass conscriptions in every country? The latter in particular is a course of action that the UN would be hesitant to employ, though they will should a majority of Foundation directors insist.
  24. Kobold King
    Of course. All you need to join is an opinion.
  25. Kobold King
    That's 1 vote for a negotiations/reconnaissance team. What sort of individuals would you send on this team? Military personnel? Ambassadors? Scientists? For your aside question... "the worst that could happen" is partly a gimmick, and partly a way of framing people's mindsets towards preparing for the worst case scenario. The absolute worst thing that could happen is that the elephants are secretly the gods of all existence, and that the moment you send soldiers they raise their trunks in unison and destroy the universe with the Trumpet of Annihilation. Also, Kyle Lawrence turns out to have been Satan all along, here to tempt you to your doom. Spoiler alert: that's not the situation here. So feel free to approach this realistically, so long as you're prepared to handle curveballs should they come up.
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