Kobold King

It was both a pleasure and a nightmare to search out all of his scenes and read them back-to-back. That's a good question. Steelheart and Regalia both have more than two powers, and a lot of Epics apparently keep a power secret as an ace in the hole, so I'm inclined to think that he always had enhanced strength. Mainly because I think that super-strength goes well with a melee weapon like a sword. Any thoughts on his glasses?

So here are a few facts about Obliteration that I got from a hasty re-read. Most people already know these things, but a review never hurts. Firefight spoilers follow, just so you know. He looks like Jim Butcher. Not much to say about this, though if any of our characters are fantasy geeks it'd be pretty funny to lampshade the resemblance. His teleportations are ceramic, somehow. I'm still not sure how literal the word "ceramic" is here, and whether or not he actually leaves shards of broken material on the ground after he teleports. I'm going to guess that this line is purely figurative. He's very hot. Uh, let me clarify that statement. So he can turn you into a frozen mummy with a touch, or burn you like casserole that you forgot to set a time for in the oven just by being in the same room with you. What a guy. He has superhuman strength. He is thus capable of easily lifting a grown man off the ground with one hand, potentially putting him at near Steelheart's level of strength. He doesn't appear to use this power often, however, as neither David nor the Lorists know about it. It could be argued, however, that nobody knows about it because anybody close enough for Obliteration to manhandle them isn't going to live long enough to tell the tale. He alternately refers to other Epics as both gods and angels. This could potentially put us in a confusing position, as those two contradicting quotes make it difficult to ascertain what exactly Obliteration thinks Epics are. Fortunately, he comes right out and explains his worldview to us in another quote: Uh, OK. Epics are the Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Thanks for the clarification, Obliteration. We appreciate your forthrightness. He's the kind of guy who keeps a ball of iron and manacles on hand "just in case." You took the words right out of my mouth, David. I would like to hypothesize myself that Obliteration has an enormous warehouse somewhere where he stores vast troves of unusual and ominously poetic objects. He has a sense of humor. * laugh track * * sitcom theme music * He gets really ticked off when you mess with his glasses. Could this be... Obliteration's weakness? Or maybe he just doesn't appreciate the violation of his personal space. Either way, he has to fight Sightline now. On that note: we still have not the foggiest clue what his weakness is. That's him talking about his nightmares, in what is probably the least straightforward sentence ever uttered in a story, and I'm including bad fanfictions. Brandon Sanderson is in violation of the RP's rules for not PMing Obliteration's weakness to Twi, by the way. Just thought I should bring that up. This line isn't really relevant. I just think it's the most terrifyingly badchull line in the novel. I'll be on the lookout for more details we might be forgetting. Anyone have anything to add?

If that's possible, then someone needs to invent a Cosmere "Turn Undead" spell as quickly as possible.

Right over Nighthound's grave would be ideal. For a more specific response, try getting a little more specific with the Epic details.

Thatta girl TwiLyght. Start coming up with those excuses. Oh, and Blackhoof: the pony creator is here.

That's Arsenal in a nutshell. Yeah, Autumn had best be prepared for all kinds of lectures when this blows over. Chief among them being "We do not bring our supervillain girlfriends into the command center without clearance."

Arsenal / Deathwish post up. Fun fact: I didn't deliberately include the word "immoral" in Arsenal's rant twice, but after publishing I realized it fit him so I declined to edit the post.

In his years in the war against Epics, Arsenal had seen some gritty sights. He'd seen wives widowed and children orphaned. He'd seen squads of men obliterated by godlike psychopaths without a second thought. He'd seen sins and stupidities aplenty in his time, and he knew he'd see hundreds more before he shuffled off into the big command center in the sky. None of this stopped him from staring as the most immoral, impractical, implausible, impolitic, impermissible, immodest, and downright immoral pair of giggling girls he'd seen in years appeared in his office in an explosion of sparkles. One was an Epic he hadn't seen before. The other was the town counselor, whom he'd previously considered one of the few halfway respectable personnel The Dalles had at its disposal. That woman, at least, had the decency to look somewhat abashed, dropping her grin and straightening her hair. "Oh. Um, hi, Arsenal," said Autumn Glass hesitantly. "This is Shiny Sparkle, and she's come over from Dallesport to help us with the invasion. I—she—er, we're here because Reader brought a few Epics into town, and I don't know if he Read them or not, but one of them was acting like he was in charge down at Game's clinic, so I think he might be a problem, and I wanted to tell you in person because…. because we might need more than the usual firepower to bring him down, if that's what it comes to. And I know Commander Vondra often oversees operations from this station and I wanted to make sure he knew everything I know. Sir." Arsenal absorbed her report without a reaction for a minute, his eye only slightly twitching. "Wilson," he said finally, struggling to keep his voice professional. "Send another squad to Game's clinic. Order them to stand by in case these new Epics rebel against authority in there." The lieutenant left the room with a salute and a "Yes, sir." Arsenal allowed his gaze to drill directly into Autumn's increasingly uncomfortable looking face, and then spoke more sternly than before. "I'll need intelligence on each of the new arrivals," he ordered curtly. "I need to know what threat they pose to this city. I assume that they've been screened already? In particular, the one that you brought directly into our command center, where you said yourself that the mayor and commander of this city oversees operations?" "...So the kid said, 'I don't know, but it's not gonna be storming Coco Puffs!" Deathwish finished, his flight shaking wildly as he laughed uproariously. The Florist's grip grew tighter as he tried to avoid being shaken off into the city below, and as usual he didn't seem to be laughing at the joke. Nor speaking much at all, for that matter. "Okay, shut up now," Deathwish grunted, suddenly halting in midflight to stare at a part of the city below. If his magnificently keen hawk-like eyes weren't mistaking him, a group of people were standing around in a ruined street and one had just assaulted a wall. "OK slontze. We're goin' down. Stay with me, don't speak unless spoken too, and try not to be as much of a wuss as you look like." With that, he abruptly dropped out of the sky and sped towards the ground, stopping just short of the sidewalk. He roughly threw the Florist to the side and into a pile of surprisingly squelchy mutilated pandas, then turned to face the gang of Epics. He couldn't say they were much to look at. The guy who might have been their leader was a tall elderly dude with a nice suit, a cane, and hair peppered with grey. The others were just standing around like little punks trying to look tough; of all of them, the only one Deathwish spared a second glance for was the hot blonde with a fistful of rubble. "OK, boys and girls," Deathwish yawned, lazily unslinging the rifle from his back. "You're new in town, so I'll make this simple. You wanna take over the city, or tear it down, or haul away the women. Or the men, I'm not gonna judge. Point is, whatever you've got planned, you can take to the next town over, because I have a license to beat the ever-loving daylights out of you if you don't quietly turn around and walk out of the city right now. And my partner here has the license to die in the attempt." With another pointed yawn, he turned the rifle and aimed it straight at the old guy's heart. "So what'll it be?"

Absolutely. She does not need another slontze. My Dalles backstories are pretty tame by comparison. Vondra lost a son during Koschei's invasion, which is pretty terrible, but aside from that there's really just the facts that Glamour's parents divorced and that Redlight was bullied and mocked for being a bit plump. And of course Backtrack, who thinks he has the most tragic backstory in The Dalles.

Reader finding new and creative ways to be a slontze doesn't even surprise me any more. I just hope he never gets the chance to have a one-on-one chat with Scribbler.

On the bright side, Scribbler and Edgerunner's friendship is even sweeter knowing how lousy their pasts are.

Not to mention (Calamity excerpt spoilers)

I'm going to downvote/undownvote everybody in celebration when this happens.

Ohhhh. My bad.

Seduction is a general attitude, not an action. (Her weakness comes from Koschei? Do we both know the same version of Scribbler's weakness, because if so I think I'm going to be sick. )

But what about the Epic who can only be killed by someone with six fingers on their right hand, a second toe longer than their big toe, who happens to be riding on a unicorn while their best friend Frank the Orangutan plays 'The Battle Hymn of the Republic' on his saxophone?

That's more something that's been done TO HER as opposed to something she's done herself.

Relevant.

That opens up a new game! Take the last comment you posted, and imagine it as the quote on your tombstone. For instance, TwiLyght's would be: ...which makes it sound like she had a very strict boss. Go figure.