Kobold King

snorts line of time dust

SO if Time Lords committed the anchoring of the thread and caused the universe to be directly affected by Gallifrey's Observer Effect, which is why so many races evolve to be humanoid on radically different planets, what if that means VAMPIRES aren't REALLY the Yssgaroth spilling over from an alternate reality but are in ACTUALITY the distorted reflection of how the first Time Lords gained immortality by extracting the blood of the TIMELESS CHILD and this dark act of exsanguinating an innocent to prolong their own lives creates a crimson stain on the fabric of the universe itself and inadvertently creates their greatest enemies, not just in the form of the Great Vampires they fight during the Dark Times, but also COUNT DRACULA, whose state of quantum impossibility ultimately causes him and his lineage to become THE ENEMY the Time Lords face during the WAR IN HEAVEN???

CHIBBENHALL P-PLANNED IT ALL ALONG THIS ARC HAS BEEN THREE DECADES IN THE MAKING, WE WERE BLIND, BLIND I SAY TO THE DEFT MASTERY OF NARRATIVE THREADS BEING PULLED ALL THESE LONG YEARS

passes out

doesn't post again for three more years

As a child I was very serious about memorizing the "red touches yellow" poem for telling the difference between coral snakes and milk snakes, and to be frank, I'm kind of disappointed it hasn't even once come in handy.

Really weird thing just happened. We found a gecko in the fridge. We thought he was dead, but I was a little bit hopeful, so I very gently pulled him out and brought him to a sunny place in the garden to warm up. After a minute he started flexing his toes, and after a couple he made a few short jaunts where he ran about six inches up my arm in a bid for freedom. He'd become gray and discolored in the fridge, but his color was actually starting to come back somehow; finally he regained enough energy to spring unexpectedly out of my hand, leap into the grass, and take off at full speed quickly enough that I wouldn't have been able to catch him if I wanted to.

It was a really weird, really interesting experience.

What I admire most about YouTube ghost hunters is how they have rigorously trained themselves to use only advertiser-friendly swearwords even when being terrorized by freakish paranormal beings. Massive respect.

My fear of forever being "That guy who hasn't written his novel" is matched only by my sheer terror of becoming "That guy who wrote an awful novel."

I have now reached the "depressed and binge-reading every melodramatic fan fiction in sight" phase of my annual life cycle. It is now a matter of sheer chance and environmental factors whether I remain in this state for the duration of the year or whether I emerge from it as a true Angst Author in my own right.

Isn't nature fascinating?

"So for this setting, Kobold, I'm going for a sort of 1920s/1930s aesthetic in a fantasy world-"

"ZEPPELINS!"

"...yeah, there could be rigid airships, but also some other stereotypical features of the era, you know, like flappers-"

"THEY CAN DANCE ON BOARD ZEPPELINS!"

"...yeah, maybe, and maybe something with Prohibition and the Mob-"

"SPEAKEASIES ON BOARD ZEPPELINS!"

"...ahem, and maybe have some fantasy versions of famous individuals of the era..."

"Ooh, actually, you know which individual definitely needs to have a representative in this fantasy world?"

"Who?"

"COUNT FERDINAND VON ZEPPELIN!!"

Idea: deliberately fracturing your psyche into multiple personalities so each fragment can learn a different kind of magic. (Assuming different kinds of magic are best suited to different personality types, as is often the case in fantasy.)

Is this you?

Poll: would you be afraid of a supervillain if his "costume" was just a cardboard box he put over his head. If not, what if he's drawn a crude smiley face in marker on the front of the box. If not, what if there are no eye holes in the box because his powers allow him to perfectly sense everything within a mile radius of him without need for his other senses. If still not, what if he can choose to disintegrate anything around him into black dust at will. If still not, what if underneath his box he's actually a whirling, stirring mass of black dust in the rough shape of the human he once was before he disintegrated himself, now only clinging to life by sheer force of will and desire to crumble everything else in the world.

If still not, please help me, because Box has been in my head all week and I'm scared.

Concept: superhero setting where absolutely nobody cares about elections and politics because the government is far too stretched thin to enact new policies or change existing ones, and electing the president is largely just deciding which politician is going to be kidnapped by Captain Doomsday and held ransom for two hundred billion dollars.

A few years back a whopping ten percent of the population showed up to the polls, but this all turned out to be part of a scheme by the nefarious villain Gerrymander and no one has bothered to so much as listen to a political podcast since then.

Watching my Archive Of Our Own account like a hawk today because I have 665 total kudos and I need to be there if the number goes up by one.

It's not so much that I look at my old writing and cringe so much as I look at my old writing and wish I still had a quarter of the confidence to write such things without berating myself and deleting the word document.

Batman is a wonderful story for making us ask deep philosophical questions such as "What are the difference's between a superhero, a vigilante, and Arkham Asylum's one-man volunteer security department?"

I want to read the new Brandon Sanderson story but I'm also terrified it will suck me into a Magic: The Gathering obsession I will never escape from.

I spend enough time googling things like "Most painful ways to kill people" and "Most misogynist ways to refer to women" that anyone who doesn't know I write a lot of villains would absolutely despise me based on my search history.

I just want you to know that every time I try to look up canon information about Invocation from the Reckoners Trilogy my searches lead me back to you. Even if I start off thinking to myself "I will not click the user page by the same name," the practice will invariably make a fool of me every time.

I'm the kind of person who gets unironically teary-eyed from Undertale "Stronger Than You" parodies on YouTube, and one of these days I'll have to come to terms with that.

"Who the heck is this guy and how does he have so many posts I've never seen?"

-every person who joined the forum in the past year, seeing me on the front page.

The three great frustrations of life are unrequited love, realization that you will never impact the history of humanity in a meaningful manner, and people saying they liked your story on Archive Of Our Own without leaving a kudos.

YouTube thumbnail proclaims "ALIEN INTERVIEWED! MEANING OF LIFE REVEALED!"

I'm feeling like if you came all this way to Earth just to make circles in our fields and poke at our cows, you're probably as clueless about that as we are.

Ash is in the sky.

It's like a cross between dreary rain clouds and lines of smoke. There's a hazy mist on the horizon. If I go a few miles down the road closer to the volcano, I smell something like rotten eggs.

I think I finally know what it feels like on Scadrial.

I went to Volcanoes National Park today! Figured with everything happening it was a now-or-never sort of deal.

Did I ever mention on here that I moved to Hawaii? Because I did! I moved to the big island of Hawai'i at the beginning of the year!

Also, there's a volcano erupting twelve miles away and I experienced two mild earthquakes today.

Does anyone know if the new Wrinkle in Time movie is any good? I've been tasked with scouting it online and I'll be blamed if we sit in the theater to watch a suck-y movie.