Boys. Not ONLY boys, but... Boys.

[Scout_Fox he/him]

All the advice here is really solid wow. I'm mainly going to offer ideas for this part of it (below) but in the roundabout I'll-never-give-up-my-secrets acknowledgement that avoids a straight up (potentially highly awkward) chat for the time being

6 hours ago, Condensation said:

Ooh, now how do I acknowledge that he likes me without making it awkward? I think I like him, but I also like some other guys.

Ok to answer this you have to organize the first 3 types here ladies and gents

 

On 9/8/2020 at 3:44 PM, Condensation said:

The first one keeps seeking me out and he will block my path so I have to walk around(and then he blocks me again and I get annoyed and talk to him) or he'll ask to look at something I did and then walk away with it(I assume so I have to go take it back).

Classic annoyance flirting, brilliantly executed I might add, what a legend. Basically he's annoying you to get you to pay attention to him and then judging your feelings based off your reaction. It's a highly versatile method because if you react badly he just plays it off as being an annoying boy doing dumb stuff (like a pretty normal boy day ). If you react positively tho... NOW he has a way to make situations where you have to interact (by annoying you) but also not having to admit anything serious yet allowing you both time to figure stoofs out

 

On 9/8/2020 at 3:44 PM, Condensation said:

The second one has been so chivalrous, he holds the door for me, and pulls out my chair, and holds my stuff, and wipes off my desk and chromebook for me, and draws attention to me when I want to ask a question.

Ok for this one, SIIIIM- jkjk, this is just the Chivalrous Charley act right here he's just being a kind little lad. Basically he's just doing nice things in the hopes that you will pay more attention to him. Not the most effective because kinda creates awkward situations if you aren't interested. Easier for you to drop tho because you just have to kinda ignore him when he does this (rip my dude... I'm sorry for your loss) and he'll eventually lose interest (if he doesn't tho... welllll that starts to get REAL awkward)

 

On 9/8/2020 at 3:44 PM, Condensation said:

The third one keeps seeking me out to talk about whatever and he's been reading Brandon Sanderson books to talk with me about them. I'm least sure about the first and most sure about the second.

This one actually takes the most effort and risk out of all of them, in my opinion. He is purposefully seeking you out, potentially landing him in an awkward situation (unlike our legend in the first who can just play it off as stoopid boi stoof if it's getting weird). He has also taken the time to learn your interests and then taken time out of his day to become invested and knowledgeable in your interests (by reading Sanderson). Then he goes and and thinks of things to talk about so you will have something in common. Valiant example of interest flirting. Basically, he's trying to become invested in the things you are invested in, in the hopes of creating a connection.

 

Ok now that we got all the tactitacos laid out here and you understand what each of dem is doing better we can now get to how to roundabout respond so y'all can keep going in circles until you can figure it out. NUMERO UNO thing I would say is just make sure you are set with who you like the most before going after one. Just think about who makes you the most happy to be around and go with that. And remember a date is just a trial you don't gotta get married it's just like DramaQueen said to figure out what you like about someone. If it doesn't go good the first date even just dump his a kindly inform him that it's not working out and move on. But it sounds like you liking our first round Legend here so let's go over how to roundabout respond there.

Ok the first thing you have to understand about annoyance flirting is that it's entirely based on reaction. He is making situations for you to interact by being annoying and making you pay attention and then judging your reaction. If you aren't interested just looked pissed and annoyed each time, take your stuff, move away (maybe throw in some shady whispers to friends to get the point across ) and he will understand that this is a NO based on your reaction.

Now that that part is clarified. If you WANT to let him know you sorta-maybe-kinda-rutabega like him then you gotta make a deposit into the bank. Remember, he's just trying to see how you react to him. Soooo, you gotta show interest in your attitude. Generally some sort of "UGHHH, you're so annoying" with like a laughingish tone with a smile is a good sign. He wants your attention and interest so give it to him. As Matrim pointed out earlier playing along is also good. If he's blocking your path pushing against him without any real intention to move him will help validate his feelings of ULTIMATE MANLINESS (said with like an echo effect ) and show that you are interested in having the interactions he keeps creating. Some more "UGH you're so annoyings" with some smiles and laughter thrown in there also helps 

Generally he's just doing this because he isn't sure either and by generating these situations you get to see how you respond to one another. If you want to show that you are sorta interested you play along with it and make him feel like you are paying attention to him. 

• As a side note if you really need your stuff back or need him to move quickly cycle through the three A's: appeasement, amusement, annoyance. Remember you are still the one he is interested in so your reaction does a lot to drive the situation. Start with a "Stoppppp, omg you're so annoying" then go to a "C'mon give me my stuff I have to go" (still happy face but direct and to the point) then if it hasn't worked go to a "INSERT_NAME_HERE, give me my stuff I have to go, this isn't funny" (reach for it looking annoyed and pissed off). If he doesn't give it then just walk away. His number one goal is to annoy you but not make you seriously angry. The annoying is just to get you to think about him more. If you show in that last statement that you're really annoyed through your facial expression, he will realize that he's gone a little too far and will give it up.

Remember each time he does this he's just trying to get closer to you so he'll do more and more invested things just to see you're reaction. If you look annoyed he'll realize you weren't a fan of that and try something else. If you smile and go along with it and are laughing he will get more comfortable and keep going. The whole thing is based off of your reactions.

I would definitely say that as everyone has been pointing out here once you are sure with who you want to test drive it IS best to be clear about it. I'm just offering this as a way to show some interest but also give yourself time to think, it's like an airport plane circling-to-stall-time method that you can either drop out of at 30,000 mph or land smoothly depending on how it goes.

 

TLDR: OK well that was tremendously long wow. Basically this is just how he's going to read you and how you can show that you are interested in getting to know him more without either of you having to say anything serious yet. Hope it's maybe kinda useful idk but either way you got it, go get em!

Oh and:

6 hours ago, Scarletfox said:

When it comes to dating, the first thing you need to do is ask yourself, why? This initial philosophy is something you need to specify when you look at relationships.

thisss is super important. If you don't have a strong basis for why you want to do it and what you are trying to get out if it you won't be able to make a relationship that feels fulfilling. Absolutely gotta have this first.

And yes, very yes:

6 hours ago, Scarletfox said:

Then there's me, who's never actually been in a relationship, yet am still the family relationship advisor that everyone comes to.

[BreezeCauthon he/him]

Personally, I've always hated the idea of annoyance flirting. Tbh I'm kind of a lowkey mixture of the second two dudes. I mean, not that I have much experience. Nor would I really call it flirting, more... charming sincerity?

The other day I was almost debate partners with the girl I like but then my buddy suggested an (admittedly more evenly-matched) setup where I got the slacker dude of the class instead, so that was somewhat disappointing.

Anyway, that's all irrelevant. It might be worth considering taking his stuff once in a while. Y'know, to keep him on his toes.

[theTruthshaper]

4 minutes ago, BreezeCauthon said:

Personally, I've always hated the idea of annoyance flirting. Tbh I'm kind of a lowkey mixture of the second two dudes. I mean, not that I have much experience. Nor would I really call it flirting, more... charming sincerity?

The other day I was almost debate partners with the girl I like but then my buddy suggested an (admittedly more evenly-matched) setup where I got the slacker dude of the class instead, so that was somewhat disappointing.

Anyway, that's all irrelevant. It might be worth considering taking his stuff once in a while. Y'know, to keep him on his toes.

I love your signature.

[BreezeCauthon he/him]

12 minutes ago, The_Truthwatcher said:

I love your signature.

Thank you! I was actually just thinking a moment ago about how I like yours too.

[Condensation she/her]

Spoiler

6 hours ago, Scout_Fox said:

All the advice here is really solid wow. I'm mainly going to offer ideas for this part of it (below) but in the roundabout I'll-never-give-up-my-secrets acknowledgement that avoids a straight up (potentially highly awkward) chat for the time being

Ok to answer this you have to organize the first 3 types here ladies and gents

 

Classic annoyance flirting, brilliantly executed I might add, what a legend. Basically he's annoying you to get you to pay attention to him and then judging your feelings based off your reaction. It's a highly versatile method because if you react badly he just plays it off as being an annoying boy doing dumb stuff (like a pretty normal boy day ). If you react positively tho... NOW he has a way to make situations where you have to interact (by annoying you) but also not having to admit anything serious yet allowing you both time to figure stoofs out

 

Ok for this one, SIIIIM- jkjk, this is just the Chivalrous Charley act right here he's just being a kind little lad. Basically he's just doing nice things in the hopes that you will pay more attention to him. Not the most effective because kinda creates awkward situations if you aren't interested. Easier for you to drop tho because you just have to kinda ignore him when he does this (rip my dude... I'm sorry for your loss) and he'll eventually lose interest (if he doesn't tho... welllll that starts to get REAL awkward)

 

This one actually takes the most effort and risk out of all of them, in my opinion. He is purposefully seeking you out, potentially landing him in an awkward situation (unlike our legend in the first who can just play it off as stoopid boi stoof if it's getting weird). He has also taken the time to learn your interests and then taken time out of his day to become invested and knowledgeable in your interests (by reading Sanderson). Then he goes and and thinks of things to talk about so you will have something in common. Valiant example of interest flirting. Basically, he's trying to become invested in the things you are invested in, in the hopes of creating a connection.

 

Ok now that we got all the tactitacos laid out here and you understand what each of dem is doing better we can now get to how to roundabout respond so y'all can keep going in circles until you can figure it out. NUMERO UNO thing I would say is just make sure you are set with who you like the most before going after one. Just think about who makes you the most happy to be around and go with that. And remember a date is just a trial you don't gotta get married it's just like DramaQueen said to figure out what you like about someone. If it doesn't go good the first date even just dump his a kindly inform him that it's not working out and move on. But it sounds like you liking our first round Legend here so let's go over how to roundabout respond there.

Ok the first thing you have to understand about annoyance flirting is that it's entirely based on reaction. He is making situations for you to interact by being annoying and making you pay attention and then judging your reaction. If you aren't interested just looked pissed and annoyed each time, take your stuff, move away (maybe throw in some shady whispers to friends to get the point across ) and he will understand that this is a NO based on your reaction.

Now that that part is clarified. If you WANT to let him know you sorta-maybe-kinda-rutabega like him then you gotta make a deposit into the bank. Remember, he's just trying to see how you react to him. Soooo, you gotta show interest in your attitude. Generally some sort of "UGHHH, you're so annoying" with like a laughingish tone with a smile is a good sign. He wants your attention and interest so give it to him. As Matrim pointed out earlier playing along is also good. If he's blocking your path pushing against him without any real intention to move him will help validate his feelings of ULTIMATE MANLINESS (said with like an echo effect ) and show that you are interested in having the interactions he keeps creating. Some more "UGH you're so annoyings" with some smiles and laughter thrown in there also helps 

Generally he's just doing this because he isn't sure either and by generating these situations you get to see how you respond to one another. If you want to show that you are sorta interested you play along with it and make him feel like you are paying attention to him. 

• As a side note if you really need your stuff back or need him to move quickly cycle through the three A's: appeasement, amusement, annoyance. Remember you are still the one he is interested in so your reaction does a lot to drive the situation. Start with a "Stoppppp, omg you're so annoying" then go to a "C'mon give me my stuff I have to go" (still happy face but direct and to the point) then if it hasn't worked go to a "INSERT_NAME_HERE, give me my stuff I have to go, this isn't funny" (reach for it looking annoyed and pissed off). If he doesn't give it then just walk away. His number one goal is to annoy you but not make you seriously angry. The annoying is just to get you to think about him more. If you show in that last statement that you're really annoyed through your facial expression, he will realize that he's gone a little too far and will give it up.

Remember each time he does this he's just trying to get closer to you so he'll do more and more invested things just to see you're reaction. If you look annoyed he'll realize you weren't a fan of that and try something else. If you smile and go along with it and are laughing he will get more comfortable and keep going. The whole thing is based off of your reactions.

I would definitely say that as everyone has been pointing out here once you are sure with who you want to test drive it IS best to be clear about it. I'm just offering this as a way to show some interest but also give yourself time to think, it's like an airport plane circling-to-stall-time method that you can either drop out of at 30,000 mph or land smoothly depending on how it goes.

 

TLDR: OK well that was tremendously long wow. Basically this is just how he's going to read you and how you can show that you are interested in getting to know him more without either of you having to say anything serious yet. Hope it's maybe kinda useful idk but either way you got it, go get em!

Oh and:

thisss is super important. If you don't have a strong basis for why you want to do it and what you are trying to get out if it you won't be able to make a relationship that feels fulfilling. Absolutely gotta have this first.

And yes, very yes:

 

 

Many thanks, that was quite helpful. Good to know!

[DramaQueen she/he/neopronouns]

6 hours ago, Scout_Fox said:

All the advice here is really solid wow. I'm mainly going to offer ideas for this part of it (below) but in the roundabout I'll-never-give-up-my-secrets acknowledgement that avoids a straight up (potentially highly awkward) chat for the time being

Ok to answer this you have to organize the first 3 types here ladies and gents

 

Classic annoyance flirting, brilliantly executed I might add, what a legend. Basically he's annoying you to get you to pay attention to him and then judging your feelings based off your reaction. It's a highly versatile method because if you react badly he just plays it off as being an annoying boy doing dumb stuff (like a pretty normal boy day ). If you react positively tho... NOW he has a way to make situations where you have to interact (by annoying you) but also not having to admit anything serious yet allowing you both time to figure stoofs out

 

Ok for this one, SIIIIM- jkjk, this is just the Chivalrous Charley act right here he's just being a kind little lad. Basically he's just doing nice things in the hopes that you will pay more attention to him. Not the most effective because kinda creates awkward situations if you aren't interested. Easier for you to drop tho because you just have to kinda ignore him when he does this (rip my dude... I'm sorry for your loss) and he'll eventually lose interest (if he doesn't tho... welllll that starts to get REAL awkward)

 

This one actually takes the most effort and risk out of all of them, in my opinion. He is purposefully seeking you out, potentially landing him in an awkward situation (unlike our legend in the first who can just play it off as stoopid boi stoof if it's getting weird). He has also taken the time to learn your interests and then taken time out of his day to become invested and knowledgeable in your interests (by reading Sanderson). Then he goes and and thinks of things to talk about so you will have something in common. Valiant example of interest flirting. Basically, he's trying to become invested in the things you are invested in, in the hopes of creating a connection.

 

Ok now that we got all the tactitacos laid out here and you understand what each of dem is doing better we can now get to how to roundabout respond so y'all can keep going in circles until you can figure it out. NUMERO UNO thing I would say is just make sure you are set with who you like the most before going after one. Just think about who makes you the most happy to be around and go with that. And remember a date is just a trial you don't gotta get married it's just like DramaQueen said to figure out what you like about someone. If it doesn't go good the first date even just dump his a kindly inform him that it's not working out and move on. But it sounds like you liking our first round Legend here so let's go over how to roundabout respond there.

Ok the first thing you have to understand about annoyance flirting is that it's entirely based on reaction. He is making situations for you to interact by being annoying and making you pay attention and then judging your reaction. If you aren't interested just looked pissed and annoyed each time, take your stuff, move away (maybe throw in some shady whispers to friends to get the point across ) and he will understand that this is a NO based on your reaction.

Now that that part is clarified. If you WANT to let him know you sorta-maybe-kinda-rutabega like him then you gotta make a deposit into the bank. Remember, he's just trying to see how you react to him. Soooo, you gotta show interest in your attitude. Generally some sort of "UGHHH, you're so annoying" with like a laughingish tone with a smile is a good sign. He wants your attention and interest so give it to him. As Matrim pointed out earlier playing along is also good. If he's blocking your path pushing against him without any real intention to move him will help validate his feelings of ULTIMATE MANLINESS (said with like an echo effect ) and show that you are interested in having the interactions he keeps creating. Some more "UGH you're so annoyings" with some smiles and laughter thrown in there also helps 

Generally he's just doing this because he isn't sure either and by generating these situations you get to see how you respond to one another. If you want to show that you are sorta interested you play along with it and make him feel like you are paying attention to him. 

• As a side note if you really need your stuff back or need him to move quickly cycle through the three A's: appeasement, amusement, annoyance. Remember you are still the one he is interested in so your reaction does a lot to drive the situation. Start with a "Stoppppp, omg you're so annoying" then go to a "C'mon give me my stuff I have to go" (still happy face but direct and to the point) then if it hasn't worked go to a "INSERT_NAME_HERE, give me my stuff I have to go, this isn't funny" (reach for it looking annoyed and pissed off). If he doesn't give it then just walk away. His number one goal is to annoy you but not make you seriously angry. The annoying is just to get you to think about him more. If you show in that last statement that you're really annoyed through your facial expression, he will realize that he's gone a little too far and will give it up.

Remember each time he does this he's just trying to get closer to you so he'll do more and more invested things just to see you're reaction. If you look annoyed he'll realize you weren't a fan of that and try something else. If you smile and go along with it and are laughing he will get more comfortable and keep going. The whole thing is based off of your reactions.

I would definitely say that as everyone has been pointing out here once you are sure with who you want to test drive it IS best to be clear about it. I'm just offering this as a way to show some interest but also give yourself time to think, it's like an airport plane circling-to-stall-time method that you can either drop out of at 30,000 mph or land smoothly depending on how it goes.

 

TLDR: OK well that was tremendously long wow. Basically this is just how he's going to read you and how you can show that you are interested in getting to know him more without either of you having to say anything serious yet. Hope it's maybe kinda useful idk but either way you got it, go get em!

Ok, so that was both one of the most hilarious and the most helpful thing I have ever read. Thank you so freaking much! I wasn't even the one you were addressing but...thanks.

[Scout_Fox he/him]

1 hour ago, DramaQueen said:

Ok, so that was both one of the most hilarious and the most helpful thing I have ever read. Thank you so freaking much! I wasn't even the one you were addressing but...thanks.

 Wow, you're totally welcome!! So glad it could be of use and wasn't completely boring! Was trying to keep it as spicy as possible since it got so dang long lol

1 hour ago, Condensation said:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Many thanks, that was quite helpful. Good to know!

Yay!! Hope it helps even if just in the slightest bit. You got it!

Oh and this was supposed to post for @Scarletfox's earlier quote about being the relationship advisor but also never having been in a relationship lol:

 

Edited September 10, 2020 by Scout_Fox

[Emi she/her]

Ok, so another advice and story awaits all of you! So, this is a looong story, but everything started on my 2nd camp. So, I went with my best friend on it and... (ugh now I have no idea what to say to not turn it into 600 word story). So I think that there was a guy that liked me. And then, I realized that I like him too and it was a really new experience to me, as I never felt anything similar. The problem is, that he actually has a girlfriend. However, it seems in a lot of aspects, that he was flirting with me (he even sometimes gave some VERY hmm... interesting texts and we both laughed at it.) I even hugged him twice and we still have contact. Is there any chance that he actually liked me, or am I only a friend? 

[DramaQueen she/he/neopronouns]

2 minutes ago, Emi said:

Ok, so another advice and story awaits all of you! So, this is a looong story, but everything started on my 2nd camp. So, I went with my best friend on it and... (ugh now I have no idea what to say to not turn it into 600 word story). So I think that there was a guy that liked me. And then, I realized that I like him too and it was a really new experience to me, as I never felt anything similar. The problem is, that he actually has a girlfriend. However, it seems in a lot of aspects, that he was flirting with me (he even sometimes gave some VERY hmm... interesting texts and we both laughed at it.) I even hugged him twice and we still have contact. Is there any chance that he actually liked me, or am I only a friend? 

I may need more information on the highlighted section to make a decision, but I'm not sure if I want more information...

Edited September 10, 2020 by DramaQueen

[Emi she/her]

14 minutes ago, DramaQueen said:

I may need more information on the highlighted section to make a decision, but I'm not sure if I want more information...

Um... that’s a loooong story. You need to know one thing: we had Sofas of Happiness, which are simply sofas, where we all were hanging out. So once, I got really sick and I was cold, so my friend gave me her hoodie, so I was a little bit better. And when he saw me he was like: “Um, hi Amelia (that’s her name), you are prettier now” and I didn’t know what to say.

Or another example (more weird one). Boys were actually shared us within them and he was like to my (different) friend: “Um, okay, so I don’t need you.” And then he said to his friend about me like this: “okay, so we are sharing her 50/50.” 

Other one (I have A LOT): he actually invited me for a date. I know that he was forced to ask someone, because of the game, but he asked me. And then, I got a message from my friend that he told her, that if he would date anyone here, it would be me. 

Is that enough, or should I give more?

[DramaQueen she/he/neopronouns]

3 minutes ago, Emi said:

Um... that’s a loooong story. You need to know one thing: we had Sofas of Happiness, which are simply sofas, where we all were hanging out. So once, I got really sick and I was cold, so my friend gave me her hoodie, so I was a little bit better. And when he saw me he was like: “Um, hi Amelia (that’s her name), you are prettier now” and I didn’t know what to say.

Or another example (more weird one). Boys were actually shared us within them and he was like to my (different) friend: “Um, okay, so I don’t need you.” And then he said to his friend about me like this: “okay, so we are sharing her 50/50.” 

Other one (I have A LOT): he actually invited me for a date. I know that he was forced to ask someone, because of the game, but he asked me. And then, I got a message from my friend that he told her, that if he would date anyone here, it would be me. 

Is that enough, or should I give more?

That's good. Yeah, I think he probably likes you. He might be confused because of his girlfriend, though, as I'm assuming he likes her, otherwise he should have broken up with her when his feelings changed. 

@Condensation

Edited September 10, 2020 by DramaQueen

[Emi she/her]

6 minutes ago, DramaQueen said:

That's good. Yeah, I think he probably likes you. He might be confused because of his girlfriend, though, as I'm assuming he likes her, otherwise he should have broken up with her when his feelings changed.

Yay!

I have a plan to tell him that I like him, but I actually wait for a good moment, so I hope I get a chance, when we’ll meet.

[Scout_Fox he/him]

4 minutes ago, Emi said:

Yay!

I have a plan to tell him that I like him, but I actually wait for a good moment, so I hope I get a chance, when we’ll meet.

WAIITTTTT hold da phone did he break up with the other girl? Cuz I mean you should totally tell him but like kinda not if he's with someone that makes it awkward...

[Emi she/her]

3 minutes ago, Scout_Fox said:

WAIITTTTT hold da phone did he break up with the other girl? Cuz I mean you should totally tell him but like kinda not if he's with someone that makes it awkward...

Idk if he did. I’m waiting because of that, and I know that even if I want and I have this kind of plan, I won’t tell him that, because of his girlfriend. I will just leave it and say it if I will have no other way. 

[DramaQueen she/he/neopronouns]

K I need help now.

A guy that I low-key rejected about a year ago asked me on a date a couple months ago. I went, it was just as friends, it was a double date, it was fun, it was fine.

Fast-forward to today. He didn't label it as a date, and said that the other girl who was on our double date was the one inviting us. However, that girl has my number and easily could have texted me and invited me herself. Things are really awkward between me and this guy, at least on my end. One of my best friends is convinced that he still likes me, but on the first date, he'd asked at least one other person before he asked me. Tonight's "date" is swimming, and I feel like that's kind of an awkward date, and since things are already awkward, I don't know what to do. I have no excuse to not go, I don't want to lie, but I also don't want to reject him. Again. Advice???

Edit: It should perhaps be noted that I have not gone on any other dates with any other people. If I go tonight, it will be my second date, and my second date with a guy that I rejected.

Edited September 10, 2020 by DramaQueen

[Condensation she/her]

36 minutes ago, DramaQueen said:

That's good. Yeah, I think he probably likes you. He might be confused because of his girlfriend, though, as I'm assuming he likes her, otherwise he should have broken up with her when his feelings changed. 

@Condensation

Scout_Fox already shared that with me.

[Emi she/her]

24 minutes ago, DramaQueen said:

K I need help now.

A guy that I low-key rejected about a year ago asked me on a date a couple months ago. I went, it was just as friends, it was a double date, it was fun, it was fine.

Fast-forward to today. He didn't label it as a date, and said that the other girl who was on our double date was the one inviting us. However, that girl has my number and easily could have texted me and invited me herself. Things are really awkward between me and this guy, at least on my end. One of my best friends is convinced that he still likes me, but on the first date, he'd asked at least one other person before he asked me. Tonight's "date" is swimming, and I feel like that's kind of an awkward date, and since things are already awkward, I don't know what to do. I have no excuse to not go, I don't want to lie, but I also don't want to reject him. Again. Advice???

Edit: It should perhaps be noted that I have not gone on any other dates with any other people. If I go tonight, it will be my second date, and my second date with a guy that I rejected.

Hmm... Coronavirus is an excuse. You can catch it easily at a pool, so you can say that you don’t want to risk it.

[Bearer of all agonies he/him]

Hmm. @DramaQueen, if you are sure he doesn’t like you, then it is probably best if you don’t go, but if you are unsure, then go because you will probably regret not going. As the Saint always said, ‘You will more often regret not doing something than doing something.’

[Lunamor she/her]

*puts on fake mustache*

Ah ha yes I am a dude, how do you do, fellow men. I enjoy *looks at smudged writing on hand* foofball and growing beerds.

[Shard of Reading he/him]

Hmmm....

This thread has been hijacked by girls asking for dating advice. I think that that is ironic.

[Condensation she/her]

6 minutes ago, Lunamor said:

*puts on fake mustache*

Ah ha yes I am a dude, how do you do, fellow men. I enjoy *looks at smudged writing on hand* foofball and growing beerds.

Not necessary. We're here, and we're not men. Or boys.

[Scout_Fox he/him]

31 minutes ago, Condensation said:

1 hour ago, DramaQueen said:

That's good. Yeah, I think he probably likes you. He might be confused because of his girlfriend, though, as I'm assuming he likes her, otherwise he should have broken up with her when his feelings changed. 

@Condensation

Scout_Fox already shared that with me.

Great minds think alike what can we say 

 

36 minutes ago, DramaQueen said:

K I need help now.

A guy that I low-key rejected about a year ago asked me on a date a couple months ago. I went, it was just as friends, it was a double date, it was fun, it was fine.

Fast-forward to today. He didn't label it as a date, and said that the other girl who was on our double date was the one inviting us. However, that girl has my number and easily could have texted me and invited me herself. Things are really awkward between me and this guy, at least on my end. One of my best friends is convinced that he still likes me, but on the first date, he'd asked at least one other person before he asked me. Tonight's "date" is swimming, and I feel like that's kind of an awkward date, and since things are already awkward, I don't know what to do. I have no excuse to not go, I don't want to lie, but I also don't want to reject him. Again. Advice???

Edit: It should perhaps be noted that I have not gone on any other dates with any other people. If I go tonight, it will be my second date, and my second date with a guy that I rejected.

Hmmers interesting, interesting. So do you like him at all or do you not like him and are trying to figure out a way to get out of it without being rude?

 

Edit: @Shard of Reading lmao this threads been diverted to so many different things by now at this point I'm just like ight talking about this rn ok then

Edited September 10, 2020 by Scout_Fox

[DramaQueen she/he/neopronouns]

7 minutes ago, Scout_Fox said:

Hmmers interesting, interesting. So do you like him at all or do you not like him and are trying to figure out a way to get out of it without being rude?

I like him as a friend. Before I rejected him a year ago, I thought I liked him and told him so when he told me he liked me. But then it almost immediately got supremely awkward, and I realized that I really preferred being friends and that I was just confused about my feelings because he was my only good guy friend at the time.

I don't know if I'm trying to get out of it, that might work, just more make it super clear that my feelings for him are still just friendship.

[DramaQueen she/he/neopronouns]

26 minutes ago, Emi said:

Hmm... Coronavirus is an excuse. You can catch it easily at a pool, so you can say that you don’t want to risk it.

Sorry for the double post, I didn't see these. It's a pretty private pool, our group would probably be among the few people there. Besides, I'd want to go swimming if it was someone else or a large group, so that'd probably be considered a lie.

25 minutes ago, Bearer of all agonies said:

Hmm. @DramaQueen, if you are sure he doesn’t like you, then it is probably best if you don’t go, but if you are unsure, then go because you will probably regret not going. As the Saint always said, ‘You will more often regret not doing something than doing something.’

I am not sure he doesn't like me, he might still. However, I am sure that I don't like him in that way.

[Scout_Fox he/him]

1 hour ago, DramaQueen said:

I like him as a friend. Before I rejected him a year ago, I thought I liked him and told him so when he told me he liked me. But then it almost immediately got supremely awkward, and I realized that I really preferred being friends and that I was just confused about my feelings because he was my only good guy friend at the time.

I don't know if I'm trying to get out of it, that might work, just more make it super clear that my feelings for him are still just friendship.

Ah well if all that's the case then I would tell him literally what you just put up there in that first part. Make sure to extra emphasize that he's your best (or one of the best) guy friends you have and you don't want to lose that. Basically while you're giving him bad news you emphasize the part that is good so it gives him something to not be sad about. And put it after too. Guy Brian be all sequential. Focus meter look like dis: (start bad < END GOOD). Emphasizing that A he is one of your best guy friends makes him feel special and B that you wouldn't want to lose that makes him feel appreciated even if you might be sorta kinda rejecting him.

So other people might have a different take on it but I think if you want to have him as a friend it's probably best to just say it (and then actively show that you said what you mean by being friends afterwards) cuz if you just make an excuse he might ask again and it keeps being awkward. Also don't set it up as high stakes. Just like talk with him normally be like "Hey I'm looking forward to going (praising his suggestion too ) but I just wanted to clear something up first. I know last year I said.... but I realized that I was confused because you were my only good guy friend.... and it just wasn't quite working out (lets him pin it to not working out rather than himself)... and I really just want to make sure I let you know cuz I really value you, you're so x,y,z and I really wouldn't want to lose you as my friend... that make sense (makes him focus on logic of what you said rather than emotion)??" something like that and then let him chat about it a bit afterwards too cuz he might be feeling the same.

If you are sincere but chill about it and act like it's not an awkward situation it will be less awkward. And then like right after divert the conversation to something else fun to talk about to make it normal. It's really not that big of a deal people like who they like and feel how they feel everyone just makes it worse than it is. If you just be chill about it and then afterward just like continue as good friends (don't take a long awkward break... makes it seem worse) then it'll help him be like ah un poco sucks but whatevskies this'll work. Besides since it already kinda didn't work it all seems quite valid to say

This is all of course if you actually want to go if you don't then just make up an excuse and yeeet outta there

Edited September 10, 2020 by Scout_Fox