The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints corner

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

1 hour ago, Medium said:

haha imagine being a missionary and like being in a relationship that'd be craaaazy

(its me. I'm the missionary-to-be that is in a relationship and marrying that girl after I'm back. its me)

Bro my best friends older brother's mission companion got home and was married after two weeks

To a girl he didn't know until he had come home

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 minute ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

Bro my best friends older brother's mission companion got home and was married after two weeks

To a girl he didn't know until he had come home

DANG OKAY

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

1 minute ago, Through The Living Glass said:

DANG OKAY

(For anyone reading this, don't use this to judge the church, trust me this IS NOT NORMAL)

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

3 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

Bro my best friends older brother's mission companion got home and was married after two weeks

To a girl he didn't know until he had come home

.....dang

Good for him...?

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

2 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

(For anyone reading this, don't use this to judge the church, trust me this IS NOT NORMAL)

FR

my goodness that's FAST

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

Just now, Through The Living Glass said:

FR

my goodness that's FAST

Like...

Bro.

BRO.

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE MY FRIEND

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

4 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

Like...

Bro.

BRO.

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE MY FRIEND

FR

IDK MAN, MAYBE HE JUST FOUND HIS SOULMATE OR SMTH

Like I'm not going to judge (mostly ) . . . but I sure as heck am going to wonder how that all happened

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

4 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

FR

IDK MAN, MAYBE HE JUST FOUND HIS SOULMATE OR SMTH

Like I'm not going to judge (mostly ) . . . but I sure as heck am going to wonder how that all happened

As am I

Haven't asked any questions

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 minute ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

As am I

Haven't asked any questions

Good for you

I would have asked all the questions

[Going_North_cal]

if its any consolation:

ive been friends with this girl for three years

we've been dating for over a year

marriage has been a discussion point and a want for several months already

many deep discussions about my mission and what comes after

 

so im not ThAT werid

[dezaS Hᴇ/Hɪᴍ]

Here's sincerely hoping you receive no disheartening letters!

5 minutes ago, Medium said:

many deep discussions about my mission and what comes after

 

so im not ThAT werid

 

[Going_North_cal]

7 minutes ago, DezaS said:

Here's sincerely hoping you receive no disheartening letters!

One can always hope for that, but so much has happened, I'm at 100% certainty I won't be receiving any.

While rare and uncommon, such things do happen. It happened to my cousin. He left his girlfriend behind, and came back, and now they're married with a couple of kids. Both of which are adorable.

[Mason Wheeler]

4 hours ago, Medium said:

haha imagine being a missionary and like being in a relationship that'd be craaaazy

(its me. I'm the missionary-to-be that is in a relationship and marrying that girl after I'm back. its me)

OK, you want craaaaazy?

One of the Elders I knew on my mission was in a relationship with a girl who's a little bit older than him.  When he left on his mission, she started to go a bit stir crazy, and after a while she was like, "OK, enough of this.  I'm going to put in my papers too."  So she did.  And then she got assigned to our mission!

While she was in the MTC, she had quite the singing voice and so she got selected to be a singer at a devotional.  And as part of this she was talking with the visiting Seventy who was going to be giving the devotional, and she mentioned her situation to him, and he was like, "oh, that wouldn't be a good idea at all.  I'll see what I can do." And so she ended up being reassigned to the mission next to ours instead.

But it was still close enough that they used the same major airport to get in and out, and it turned out that she came out exactly 6 months after him.  And so they were going to end up on the same plane home!  He told me that he just knew it was going to be the worst temptation of his entire life.

[Going_North_cal]

2 minutes ago, Mason Wheeler said:

OK, you want craaaaazy?

One of the Elders I knew on my mission was in a relationship with a girl who's a little bit older than him.  When he left on his mission, she started to go a bit stir crazy, and after a while she was like, "OK, enough of this.  I'm going to put in my papers too."  So she did.  And then she got assigned to our mission!

While she was in the MTC, she had quite the singing voice and so she got selected to be a singer at a devotional.  And as part of this she was talking with the visiting Seventy who was going to be giving the devotional, and she mentioned her situation to him, and he was like, "oh, that wouldn't be a good idea at all.  I'll see what I can do." And so she ended up being reassigned to the mission next to ours instead.

But it was still close enough that they used the same major airport to get in and out, and it turned out that she came out exactly 6 months after him.  And so they were going to end up on the same plane home!  He told me that he just knew it was going to be the worst temptation of his entire life.

OH MY GOSH THAT IS HILARIOUS AND AWESOME AND I HAVE TO KNOW HOW THAT STORY ENDED DO YOU HAVE THE END OF IT WHAT HAPPENED TELL ME I MUST KNOW THATS LIKE HALLMARK MOVIE LEVELS OF AWESOME AND HILARIOUS I LOVE THAT

[Mason Wheeler]

3 hours ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

(For anyone reading this, don't use this to judge the church, trust me this IS NOT NORMAL)

Sadly, closer to normal was what happened to my second companion.  Great guy, he was a big, lovable teddy bear, one of the nicest people you'll ever meet.  And he had a girl back home.  Or at least... he kind of thought maybe he did?  He hadn't heard anything from her since he was in the MTC.

Several months later, I ran into him at a mission-wide conference event.  He was right about to head home, and he was all broken up.  He'd finally heard back from this girl: she was married now, with kid #2 on the way. 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

5 minutes ago, Mason Wheeler said:

OK, you want craaaaazy?

One of the Elders I knew on my mission was in a relationship with a girl who's a little bit older than him.  When he left on his mission, she started to go a bit stir crazy, and after a while she was like, "OK, enough of this.  I'm going to put in my papers too."  So she did.  And then she got assigned to our mission!

While she was in the MTC, she had quite the singing voice and so she got selected to be a singer at a devotional.  And as part of this she was talking with the visiting Seventy who was going to be giving the devotional, and she mentioned her situation to him, and he was like, "oh, that wouldn't be a good idea at all.  I'll see what I can do." And so she ended up being reassigned to the mission next to ours instead.

But it was still close enough that they used the same major airport to get in and out, and it turned out that she came out exactly 6 months after him.  And so they were going to end up on the same plane home!  He told me that he just knew it was going to be the worst temptation of his entire life.

Awwwwwww

Just now, Mason Wheeler said:

Sadly, closer to normal was what happened to my second companion.  Great guy, he was a big, lovable teddy bear, one of the nicest people you'll ever meet.  And he had a girl back home.  Or at least... he kind of thought maybe he did?  He hadn't heard anything from her since he was in the MTC.

Several months later, I ran into him at a mission-wide conference event.  He was right about to head home, and he was all broken up.  He'd finally heard back from this girl: she was married now, with kid #2 on the way. 

Oh my gosh, that's heartbreaking

[Mason Wheeler]

3 minutes ago, Medium said:

OH MY GOSH THAT IS HILARIOUS AND AWESOME AND I HAVE TO KNOW HOW THAT STORY ENDED DO YOU HAVE THE END OF IT WHAT HAPPENED TELL ME I MUST KNOW THATS LIKE HALLMARK MOVIE LEVELS OF AWESOME AND HILARIOUS I LOVE THAT

Sorry, that was the last I ever saw of him.  I kinda wish I knew too.

1 minute ago, Through The Living Glass said:

Oh my gosh, that's heartbreaking

I know! But all's well that ends well.  This one I have kept in touch with.  He's married now and has a great family that loves him.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

2 minutes ago, Mason Wheeler said:

I know! But all's well that ends well.  This one I have kept in touch with.  He's married now and has a great family that loves him.

Hmm

Well, that's good at least

That must have been so hard, though

[Eran of Arcadia]

I read somewhere that 90% of missionaries who leave a significant other behind break up (or get dumped) before the end of their mission, and 70% of the remainder break up after they come home. I don't know how accurate that data is.

(Also I had never been on a real date before leaving for my mission so . . . )

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

44 minutes ago, Eran of Arcadia said:

I read somewhere that 90% of missionaries who leave a significant other behind break up (or get dumped) before the end of their mission, and 70% of the remainder break up after they come home. I don't know how accurate that data is.

(Also I had never been on a real date before leaving for my mission so . . . )

So what I'm hearing, is that for every hundred missionaries who leave having dated someone seriously beforehand, 3 will still get married to the same person they were dating before?

Heheh 

[Mason Wheeler]

1 hour ago, Eran of Arcadia said:

I read somewhere that 90% of missionaries who leave a significant other behind break up (or get dumped) before the end of their mission, and 70% of the remainder break up after they come home. I don't know how accurate that data is.

I don't know the data, but that second figure doesn't surprise me.

We always talk in the Church about how big of an event serving a mission is, that it gives someone so much new experience and maturity.  Well, what are the implications of that?  If you're not the same person when you come home that you were when you left, if you've become much more mature, broadened your horizons, and gained a deeper, wiser perspective, why would you expect that the same qualities you valued in a partner and in a relationship before your mission would remain your highest priorities afterwards?

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

22 minutes ago, Mason Wheeler said:

I don't know the data, but that second figure doesn't surprise me.

We always talk in the Church about how big of an event serving a mission is, that it gives someone so much new experience and maturity.  Well, what are the implications of that?  If you're not the same person when you come home that you were when you left, if you've become much more mature, broadened your horizons, and gained a deeper, wiser perspective, why would you expect that the same qualities you valued in a partner and in a relationship before your mission would remain your highest priorities afterwards?

That is a very wise perspective.

I am in a relationship right now (you know who it's with if you've been paying attention, you peoples who hang out in the wider community section) but both of us have decided to put it on pause while I'm gone. And possibly more than that. I feel like it's not fair for her if I expect her to put her romantic life on hold for two years while I'm gone. Because what if she meets someone who would make a better husband for her while I'm gone, or what if I'd meet someone who'd make a better wife for me months or years after I get back? 

Basically we're just putting our trust in God and saying "whatever needs to happen will happen." I don't want either of our focuses to be on each other when we have more important stuff to be doing. Me in my service, her in planning out the next steps in her life (she's a little less than a year younger than me.)

So yeah.

The funny thing is, my parents had a relationship in high school, and did the same thing, and they still ended up together...so who knows. Regardless, the main takeaway from their story was that stopping their relationship before my dad left let both of them focus on what they needed to do, and lead them to the life they needed. Whether or not a present relationship works out two years from now shouldn't matter, in my mind, as long as you've grown enough to be a worthy companion down the line. And the spirit guides in that choice.

Yeah, it might still hurt in the moment if it doesn't work out. But that doesn't mean I don't have a bright and happy future in store.

12 hours ago, Through The Living Glass said:

Hmm

Well, that's good at least

That must have been so hard, though

Think of it this way; he must be so grateful that his old girlfriend got married to someone else, because if she hadn't he wouldn't have met his current companion, the person he's going to get to be with forever. Yeah, it hurt in the moment, but compared to the joy he has and is going to have for eternity, that pain is basically nothing.

Edited January 31, 2025 by The Bookwyrm

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

50 minutes ago, The Bookwyrm said:

Think of it this way; he must be so grateful that his old girlfriend got married to someone else, because if she hadn't he wouldn't have met his current companion, the person he's going to get to be with forever. Yeah, it hurt in the moment, but compared to the joy he has and is going to have for eternity, that pain is basically nothing.

Exactly what I was thinking

Still must have been awful for him at the time, though

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

5 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

Exactly what I was thinking

Still must have been awful for him at the time, though

Mm.

That's kind of why I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the possibility down the line.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

4 minutes ago, The Bookwyrm said:

Mm.

That's kind of why I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the possibility down the line.

Oh

Are you dating someone right now or just talking about later on in general?