The Shortest Thread

[Bookish Ocelot she/her]

bookish shook her head sadly 

far away, narrator ocelot fell to the ground screaming at the lack of puncuation and also lack of knowledge as to what a sharkicane was

[Ethan_sedai he/him]

On 6/7/2019 at 3:37 PM, BookishOcelot said:

TA DA

Oh, no, it’s ta Dark Alley!

[BringerofShadows she/her]

“What ever, @Taradiddle.” BoS said while covered in blood.

[Vogelsang he/him]

“The only thing I’m saying is that your lame, uncreative, and terrible at killing people.” Taradiddle gestured at the aristocrat corpses, raising a zombie army with the wave of his hand. He laughed as they descended upon @BringerofShadows “Try beheading these!”

Edited June 11, 2019 by Taradiddle

[BringerofShadows she/her]

27 minutes ago, Taradiddle said:

“The only thing I’m saying is that your lame, uncreative, and terrible at killing people.” Taradiddle gestured at the aristocrat corpses, raising a zombie army with the wave of his hand. He laughed as they descended upon @BringerofShadows “Try beheading these!”

BoS summoned her hatchet and killed them all within 2 minutes. 

[Vogelsang he/him]

...

Yeah that’s about what I expected.

Taradiddle sued BoS for a new zombie army.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Truthless was honestly kinda impressed with the sheer amount of destruction BoS had caused in two minutes.

[BringerofShadows she/her]

“Watch this.” BoS destroyed the zombies within 30 seconds.

Edited June 11, 2019 by BringerofShadows

[Bookish Ocelot she/her]

“wait!” cried Bookish, actually punctuating for once. “If we work together, we could conquer the universe! Or the cosmere!”

[BringerofShadows she/her]

“You mean I could.”

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

“I as in me?” Truthless asked.

[Bookish Ocelot she/her]

Narrator Ocelot was greatly annoyed. Where was the random humor? The renaming of classic characters?

Bookish laughed. “No, it’s me.” she drcapitated BoS and Truthless in asingle strike. 

[BringerofShadows she/her]

23 minutes ago, BookishOcelot said:

Narrator Ocelot was greatly annoyed. Where was the random humor? The renaming of classic characters?

Bookish laughed. “No, it’s me.” she drcapitated BoS and Truthless in asingle strike. 

Whatever that was, it wasn’t very effective. BoS continued her killing spree.

[Elend Venture he/him]

Elend drew his kopis and chased BoS down the street. 

[Vogelsang he/him]

Taradiddle stole 23 corgis from the Queen of Angleland.

Edited June 14, 2019 by Taradiddle

[BringerofShadows she/her]

6 hours ago, ElendVenture said:

Elend drew his kopis and chased BoS down the street. 

But BoS didn’t run. She pulled out a machine gun and sprayed bullets at him.

[Elend Venture he/him]

Elend fell to his knees on the dusty earth. The kill switch in his left hand released and a large metallic detrium powered atomic bomb detonated, with Elend and Shadow at ground zero.

[BringerofShadows she/her]

Just now, ElendVenture said:

Elend fell to his knees on the dusty earth. The kill switch in his left hand released and a large metallic detrium powered atomic bomb detonated, with Elend and Shadow at ground zero.

BoS, being a nuclear physicist, realized that there wasn’t a kill switch. So nothing happened. 

[Elend Venture he/him]

Elend was pitied on by the Earl of Blyat who turned him into a bullet proof bald eagle the size of a mac truck before he could draw his final breath. Elend flew toward BoS.

Edited June 14, 2019 by ElendVenture

[Darth Woodrack he/him]

This thread failed in its mission, as there was an attempted longest thread spinoff that got two posts before being stopped by a mod. That thread was created by me.

[BringerofShadows she/her]

8 minutes ago, ElendVenture said:

Elend was pitied on by the Earl of Blyat who turned him into a bullet proof bald eagle the size of a mac truck before he could draw his final breath. Elend flew toward BoS.

But it wasn’t italicized, so it doesn’t count. 

[Elend Venture he/him]

6 minutes ago, BringerofShadows said:

But it wasn’t italicized, so it doesn’t count. 

A ninja came and fixed all that.

[BringerofShadows she/her]

37 minutes ago, ElendVenture said:

Elend was pitied on by the Earl of Blyat who turned him into a bullet proof bald eagle the size of a mac truck before he could draw his final breath. Elend flew toward BoS.

And and BoS cut him with her Shardblade. He was bulletproof, not Shardblade proof.

[Bookish Ocelot she/her]

Narrator Ocelot sighed. 

Bookish summoned her own shardblade and sliced open a massive piñata.

[I think I am here. he/him]

On 09/06/2019 at 9:44 PM, BookishOcelot said:

a pegalot, an ocelot with dark wings flies out of nowhere and hits Itiah

Monopoly Man Itiah stopped the pegalot in it’s tracks.

“You should be biologically impossible to exist. In fact, the only reason you exist is probably because your writer deemed it so.”

The pegalot thought for a moment, and then began crying at the existential crisis. Itiah felt bad.

Quote

3000th post! Woohoo!

 

Edited June 15, 2019 by I think I am here.