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Posted

*switches topics abruptly* Dialogue makes writing so much easier...

Posted

Yeah, I haven't written something that's not RP in a while. Why do you think you're bad at it?

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Wanna practice with me? You seem to talk so naturally, I have trouble seeing how it doesn't translate over.

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Ene cleared her throat. "Let's get this party started!"

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Would you mind if I gave tips? Just my own opinion?

 

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It's cool!

So, I'd probably change it to “Wait, we're having a party?” That flows better, and people are much more likely to use contractions in most situations. If you want to keep the dash, that implies a little more shock with the pause/hesitation; you could try emphasizing the word party to go along with it, as in, “Wait - we're having a party?”

Of course, this is my opinion, gathered from reading tons of books, listening to people, and instinct, so it's not the law or anything. :P

"WE ABSOLUTELY ARE," Ene said excitedly. "With food! And music! And people standing awkwardly to the sides of the room 'cause they don't wanna dance!"

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14 minutes ago, AonEne said:

 

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Thanks, that’s really helpful!

“Who all did you invite?” Luna asked apprehensively.

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A shimmering line of fire slashes down from the ceiling to the floor. From the flames, a man emerges.

He carries a sword etched with runes and a crystalline red shield. His eyes glow with an inner fire.

He grins. "How's it going, guys?"

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"Him," Ene says happily, pointing at Xino (or maybe not Xino). "Also her." Her hand swivels to BoS. "And we're celebrating Luna!"

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