The Last Post Wins!!!!!

[Lunamor she/her]

1 minute ago, The H said:

That should give them time to reflect

It will spectrum up for positive character growth.

[TheFrugalWizard he/him]

What kind of bagel can travel?

Spoiler

A plain bagel

 

[Lunamor she/her]

How do astronauts find asteroids headed towards Earth?

Spoiler

With a collide-o-scope.

 

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

My dad came up with this joke on the spot this morning.

Spoiler

I went and removed the boundary between my yard and my neighbor's this morning.

Spoiler

He called the police on me.

Spoiler

So I argued that it was in self defence.

 

 

 

[Lunamor she/her]

What should you do with a sick boat?

Spoiler

Take it to the doc.

 

[Faerie Braids she/her]

A couple of years ago, my dad was making pancakes and accidentally used a bit too much batter for each pancake, causing them to stick together in the pan. He came up with this joke on the spot:

I tried to separate the pancakes,

Spoiler

but they re-fused

[Lunamor she/her]

Here’s a classic:

What do you call a toothless grizzly?

Spoiler

A gummy bear.

 

[Immortal Platypus]

What kind of force do docks exert on boats?

Spoiler

pier pressure

 

[Lunamor she/her]

Another classic:

Why can’t your hand be twelve inches long?

Spoiler

Because then it would be a foot.

 

[Immortal Platypus]

why can't your nose be 12 inches long

Spoiler

cause last i checked, you're not pinocchio 

 

[Lunamor she/her]

What has four wheels and flies?

Spoiler

A garbage truck.

(I like this one.)

[Immortal Platypus]

i've heard that with "weighs 1 ton" added in

[Aredor]

Here's one that probably has been done before, but I'm to lazy to go and check. 

What's brown and sticky? 

Spoiler

The Stick

 

[Lunamor she/her]

1 hour ago, Immortal Platypus said:

i've heard that with "weighs 1 ton" added in

That’s a good addition. In a similar vein:

Times flies like an arrow.

Spoiler

Fruit flies like a banana.

 

[Immortal Platypus]

i love that one

[Lunamor she/her]

I got hit in the head with a soda can.

Spoiler

Thankfully, it was a soft drink.

 

[Immortal Platypus]

why are viola jokes so short?

Spoiler

so the firsts can understand them

 

[Lunamor she/her]

Another music joke:

What’s the loudest pet you can own?

Spoiler

A trumpet.

 

[Immortal Platypus]

what's the difference between the concert master and a viola?

Spoiler

about a measure and a half

 

[Lunamor she/her]

I made a whopping six figures at the toy factory last year.

Spoiler

I was also fired for being too slow.

 

[Immortal Platypus]

any figurines? 

[Lunamor she/her]

2 minutes ago, Immortal Platypus said:

any figurines? 

One person can only do so much!

[Immortal Platypus]

and that's why you got fired

[Lunamor she/her]

Indeed it is. Off topic (if dad jokes count as a topic), but I rewatched Dune Part 1 yesterday and can’t get over the name Duncan Idaho. It’s got to be the most out of place name in all of science fiction, I love it so much.

[Immortal Platypus]

Jokes are definitely a topic