Vander Posted January 1, 2016 Posted January 1, 2016 This threat has been dead for too long Though I don't see the point in resurrecting it, if you didn't add anything... 1
Maple Duke he/him Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 (edited) I have a question... When is part 3 coming, and how is Heir of the void still at 211? (as I post this) Edited January 2, 2016 by Maple Duke
Shardbearer he/him Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 WHY HAVE I NOT SEEN THIS UNTIL NOW? THIS IS AWESOME!
DreamEternal Posted January 2, 2016 Posted January 2, 2016 (edited) Why do I read evil!Lirin with an obviously fake german acent? Edited January 2, 2016 by DreamEternal 1
Popular Post Heir of the Void he/him Posted January 3, 2016 Author Popular Post Posted January 3, 2016 An update? IMPOSSIBLE! PART THREE: HALF-SHARD LIFE SHALLAN: I’m not sure I like these women writing about the assassination of King Gavilar.JASNAH: It’s called the Assuredness Movement. The AssMove. It’s very dignified and cleaver rhetoric.SHALLAN: But… Here, Brightness Kayne is criticizing the centralized order imposed by the monarchy by simply repeating the phrase ‘storm THE POLICE’ in response to every argument against the position. (TARAVANGIAN enters, speaking on his CELLULAR SPANREED) TARAVANGIAN: I don’t care if the rate dropped by half, I want you to slice and dice. ???: Yes, daddy.TARAVANGIAN: damnation straight! (TARAVANGIAN hangs up, hanging his PURPLE FEATHERED CAP on a hook and draping his RHINESTONE STUDDED COAT over his chair) TARAVANGIAN: Jasnah, thanks for the assist on getting my ho out of that hole. What’s the scoop on your new girl there?JASNAH: Would you like a sketch?(SHALLAN sketches TARAVANGIAN, but accidently incudes some WIRED THINGS. She DESTROYS the SKETCH) PAN TO SHATTERED PLANINS GAZ: What is this?KALADIN: WE’RE GONNA NEED A MONTAGE! BRIDGE FOUR: A BRIDGE TRAINING MONTAGE! (GAZ wanders away) GAZ: I hate only having one eye. Not only do I have no depth perception; I think there’s something supernaturally wrong here. And given how that thing with the earring worked out… LAMARIL: Pay up, Gaz. GAZ: But you already took my lunch money today… LAMARIL: Well, get me more! Also, make that one guy die, but don’t kill him. Try spraying his blanket with ChasmFiend Mating Pheromones. (SOMEWHERE ELSE, KALADIN has a BRILLIANT IDEA) KALADIN: What was it that father used to say…? Oh, right. (A BRIDGE LAUNCH ELEVATOR deploys a SIDEWAYS BRIDGE) NEGATIVE SIX YEARS LATER LIRIN: Hey, Kal. (LIRIN and KALADIN sit at a TABLE. LIRIN is CLEARLY DRUNK) LIRIN: When you get to the Big City, stay there. Don’t get sucked back to some dump like this. KAL: Okay dad!KAL (THINKING): Little does he know that I’ll join the army, kill a Shardbearer, eat him to gain his powers, and then… figure out that part when I get there. (SOME TOWNSFOLK start pounding on the DOOR) TOWNSFOLK: Open up! This is a robbery! (LIRIN opens the DOOR) LIRIN: What do you want? TOWNSFOLK: Give us the spheres! LIRIN: Kaladin, go upstairs. Daddy has some work to do. (KALADIN beats a HASATY RETREAT upstairs, hearing his father’s SURGICAL CHAINSWORD revving as he does so.) PAN TO PRESNT DAY GAZ: Alright, fish. Bridge crews. KALADIN: Why doesn’t Bridge Four get any new meat?GAZ: Fine. One.KALADIN: I’ll take that one. He looks like the least useful, so he’s probably the best choice.(An AIR RAID SIREN sounds) KALADIN: Bridge Four, roll out! MANY HANDS OF BRIDGE LATER (BRIDGE FOUR and the rest of SADEAS ARMY approach THE DARK TOWER)KALADIN: So am I the Gunslinger here?GAZ: Bridges FORWARD! (SFX: SAVING PRIVATE RYAN BEACH SCENE)BRIDGEMAN: I’M LOSING CONTROL OF THE SITUATION! OTHER BRIDGEMAN: WE NEED EVAC NOW, DAMNIT, NOW!(Both BRIDGMEN immediately DIE, causing the rest of their BRIDGE CREW to suffer a PANIC CHAIN) KALADIN: Deploy our secret weapon.TEFT: Sir, it hasn’t been tested. Without proper calibration, we could lose confinement on the main reaction chamber and- KALADIN: We don’t have a choice. SIDE CARRY!(BRIDGE FOUR rotates their BRIDGE a full NINETY DEGREES on the X AXIS) TEFT: Stormfather! It’s actually working!(BRIDGE SEVENTEEN catches on FIRE. BRIDGE TWO suddenly EXPLODES. Within Minutes, SADEAS ARMY is falling back in disarray. Four PARSHENDI WARRIORS press their SKULLPLATES against the corner of the GATE and ESHONAI floats through, ending the BATTLE) (LAMARIL approaches KALADIN, accompanied by THUGS) LAMARIL: Do you know what you’ve done?KALADIN: For Great Justice. (The THUGS surround KALADIN and BEAT HIM SENSELESS) WHEN SUDDENLY SHALLAN: King Gavilar’s account of his expedition into the Unclaimed Hills is certainly breathtaking. So is his discussion of the possible socioeconomic and geopolitical impacts of intelligent Parshmen and easily harvested gemhearts. (SHALLAN spots the SUBTEXT, clearly marked with an ILLUMINITI SYMBOL) SHALLAN: Jasnah wrote this? It says… “Gavilar should be thinking about hitting Greatshells, and here he is whining about economics and anthropology and Voidbringers like a little bitch”. SHALLAN: Interesting. JASNAH: Time for a Philosophy lesion!(SHALLAN and JASNAH quickly FAST TRAVEL to a different part of KHARBRANTH) SHALLAN: Are you sure this is safe?JASNAH: Of course it is! This used to be a dangerous neighborhood, but then a group of Ardents started doing a lot of work to clean it up, cut down crime, improve education and public health… They’re working out of a chapel just over there. ARDENT: With this new immune system-boosting Fabril, we can increase the survival of patients, and allow surgeons to work on them without getting infected themselves! With mass production, we could cut down plague deaths by an Order of Magnitude!(JASNAH uses SOULCAST, turning one of the CHAPEL WALLS into a PILE OF RUBBLE. She enters.) ARDENT: You? No! (JASNAH uses SOULCAST, turning ARDENT into STELLAR PLASMA. He EXPLODES. The CHAPEL collapses.) JSANAH: Much more satisfying when they understand their lives are over. (JASHAN uses SOULCAST, turning the SURVIVORS into CHUNKS OF MEAT) SHALLAN: You just killed at least thirty people!JASNAH: Did I though? Did I really? Or, was it they were men and knew how to read that killed them? SHALLAN: …NO! (SHALLAN crouches, approaches JASNAH from behind and removes the SOULCASTER from her inventory, replacing it with her own BROKEN SOULCASTER and a GRENADE, sans PIN) SOME TIME LATER (KALADIN is STRUNG UP from the roof of the BRIDGE FOUR HEADQUATERS, facing the ORGIN, and is UPSIDEDOWN) KALADIN: Unfamiliar celing… Wait. That’s a wall. (SFX: WHEN THE WILD WIND BLOWS) TEFT: Not only did they beat you senseless and string you up; they took your money. ROCK: Stupid wetlanders. Can’t even survive a Highstorm. KALADIN: It’s situations like this that make me really want to reconsider my life choices. JEZEREZEH: ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE.KALADIN: WELL THEN, COME AND GET ME! (KALADIN is SMASHED by the StormWall) KALADIN: That smarts… What?(SYLPHRENA holds a GLOWING SHARDBLADE, deflecting ROCKS before they hit KALADIN) KALADIN: Great. Now I’m hallucinating. (The HIGHSTORM becomes as a SHIFTING TECHNICOLOR EXPASNE) KALADIN: The rust is this? (The SHIFTING TECHNICOLOR EXPASE turns to the INFINITE COLD DARK BLACK OF SPACE, occupied by a RATHER LARGE FACE) KALADIN: The rust is that? (KALADIN is out of useable POKEMON. KALADIN paid out THIRTEEN CLEARMARKS to the winner. KALADIN BLACKED OUT.) PREVIOSULY, ON AMC’S Breaking Radiant (KALADIN, TIEN, and KALADIN’S MOM are SITTING at a TABLE) TIEN: Kaladin, look at this rock. Tiny pieces of it keep breaking down into even smaller pieces of something else. KALADIN’S MOM: That’s nice, dear. TIEN: I’m not sure what controls if, or when, a given piece of the rock breaks down, though. KALADIN’S MOM: Perhaps is has a spren. KALADIN: I doubt it. Spren are ugly and stupid. KALADIN’S MOM: I think you’ll regret that one day, dear. TIEN: I wonder what would happen if I got a bunch of this rock and crushed it really hard, all at the same time. (LIRIN enters) LIRIN: I’m off to see the BrightLord!KALADIN: I’m coming with you. (KALADIN and LIRIN quickly infiltrate the CASTLE and sit down for DINNER) ROSHONE: Give me the Spheres. I know your family is starving!LIRIN: If we want for food, we can always eat your family. Kaladin, please step out for a moment. (KALADIN exits. He encounters LARAL and RILLIR in a BREAKFAST NOOK.)RILLIR: Father says we should marry. I’m not opposed to the idea; I think I could limit myself to about ten or fifteen mistresses…LARAL: Stop acting like on of those Final Empire bastards and- Oh, hey Kal. (LARAL bats her EYELASHES at KALADIN) LARAL: Have you missed me, Kaladin?KALADIN: No. I can’t believe I ever thought you were… fun to spend time with. Storming lighteyes. PRESNET DAY (ROCK and TEFT look up at KALADIN, who is hanging from the ROOF and HAS LOOKED BETTER) ROCK: He is dead.TEFT: He’s only mostly dead. Big difference between all dead and mostly dead. Nothing we could do if he was all dead; they already went through his pockets looking for spheres. But if he’s only mostly dead… (TEFT and ROCK cut down KALADIN and stash him in the BARRACKS, then leave. TEFT enters some time later, carrying SOME SPHERES.)TEFT: No way this could work. Just what to prove those old bastards wrong.(TEFT places the SPHERES on KALADIN) TEFT: Good, nothing. I was worried for a second there-(SFX: LIBERA ME FROM HELL) (KALADIN begins GLOWING) TEFT: No! It can’t be! The legendary Super- (TEFT notes that KALADIN’S EYES become pale rather than his HAIR) TEFT: Oh. Just a Radiant. I was worried for a second there. 45
DreamEternal Posted January 3, 2016 Posted January 3, 2016 (edited) SURGICAL CHAINSWORD! Edit: and Shallan Fallout Style pickpocketing Jasnah. This just gets better. EDIT2: Tien as a nuclear enginner? Me like. Edited January 3, 2016 by DreamEternal
Heir of the Void he/him Posted January 4, 2016 Author Posted January 4, 2016 SURGICAL CHAINSWORD! Edit: and Shallan Fallout Style pickpocketing Jasnah. This just gets better. EDIT2: Tien as a nuclear enginner? Me like. Glad you like it. I did a lot more detail this time around, but I think it worked. 3
VoltCruelerz he/him Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 (edited) "Kaladin is out of useable Pokemon..." I lost it here, doubled over, tears from eyes, full nine yards. Well played, good sir! Discovering this thread has made my day. Edited January 4, 2016 by VoltCruelerz 1
Heir of the Void he/him Posted January 4, 2016 Author Posted January 4, 2016 (edited) "Kaladin is out of useable Pokemon..." I lost it here, doubled over, tears from eyes, full nine yards. Well played, good sir! Discovering this thread has made my day. Glad to hear it. Hopefully. the next one will be out an order of magnitude sooner. I'm working on a draft now. Also, Navani reappears soon, with some more fleshing out. She is... Yeah. Edited January 4, 2016 by Heir of the Void 3
natc Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 That Libera Me From Hell though. Stormlight is made of spiral energy? 1
KnightGradient Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 This man does the Almighty's work. Who the storms is leaving him at 228 rep?
Shardbearer he/him Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 SUPER SAIYAN KALADIN! Oh wait... just a Radiant.
Stormgate he/him Posted January 4, 2016 Posted January 4, 2016 This man does the Almighty's work. Who the storms is leaving him at 228 rep? I'm not, I upvoted every post he made on this thread.
Maple Duke he/him Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Same here. btw does anyone actually know why they don't keep the upvote and downvote arrows so close to each other? Syl: Not that he accidentally down voted or anything... he was just wondering 1
PeterAhlstrom he/him Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Ahhh, the new update gave me a bunch of good laughs. Excellent. 5
Stormgate he/him Posted January 9, 2016 Posted January 9, 2016 Anyone else have a faint sense of irony that Peter Ahlstrom is a Worldhopper?
Popular Post Heir of the Void he/him Posted January 12, 2016 Author Popular Post Posted January 12, 2016 The plot begins to unravel under the pressure... IN A CHASM, WITH A PILE OF BODIES SHALLAN: Why won’t this SoulCaster work? I can’t believe operating an ancient and scared artifact is more complex than a point-and-click interface! (SHALLAN looks at several books of PHILOSOPHY)SHALLAN: I can’t believe Jasnah killed those Ardents! All the philosophies say she did the right thing, but… ELSEWHERE (ROCK, TEFT, and MOASH stand in the POORLY LIT ROOM, looking at a SUSPICIOUSLY COFFIN-SHAPED BOX mounted on the WALL) TEFT: I’m cutting the coolant flow. On my mark, be ready to start the transfusion. (TEFT taps an activation rune and closes several valves)MOASH: Core temperature is rising. ROCK: Hexagramic wards are breaking down. Investiture core is approaching critical mass. TEFT: Opening confinement unit. (The BOX slowly opens, and fog begin spilling out across the floor. A leg extends from the box, taking a moment to gain footing. A man strides out of the box. Pan and zoom on his faces.) (SFX: Imperial March)MOASH: Kaladin Stormblessed walks this earth once again. KALADIN: TELL ME, MORTAL. FOR HOW MANY MILLENNIA HAVE I SLUMBERED? TEFT: Ten days. (An AIR RAID SIREN sounds) KALADIN: Really? I’d have thought it’d have been longer. Meh, let’s get this over with. MANY CORPSES LATER KALADIN: It’s pointless. I can’t save anyone. The Bridgemen are Ablative Tactical Armor. I can’t save them. PREVIOUSLY, on AMC’S The Thinking Parshmen LARAL: AHHHHHHH! KALADIN: What’s the status of the patient! (LIRIN gestures at RILLIR) LIRIN: He’s totally boned! See, Whitespine bone right in the lung. And kidney. And spleen. And the funny bone. (RILLIR preforms an expert PORCUPINE IMPERSONATION) ROSHONE: What are you doing! Save my son! LIRIN: I’m sorry Brightlord. I’m afraid I can’t do that. ROSHONE: What are you talking about? I can see him spurting blood!LIRIN: I know, right! I can start harvesting his organs while they’re extra fresh. You can leave now; I’m sure that leg won’t fester. RIPPLE FADE TO K-BAR SHALLAN: I’ve decided. What you did was… Probably the fourth or fifth- … TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY. RIPPLE FADE TO K-BAR SHALLAN: I’ve decided. What you did was… Probably the worst thing I’ve ever seen. JASNAH: I was dismantling the Patriarchy! All my actions are always justified!SHALLAN: I’m not really sure how you can even make that argument. (KABSAL smashes through the WALL) KABSAL: OH YEAH! SHALLAN: What are you doing here? KABSAL: I brought jam?(JASNAH stands up, SOULCASTER humming ominously) JASNAH: What are you doing here! (KABSAL reaches into his JAM BASKET and withdraws a SAWED-OFF CROSSBOW)KABSAL: Justice. (KABSAL fires a short burst. JASNAH SOULCASATS each of the bolts into fire, but the wooden shafts simply served as sabots for METAL DARTS, which fly toward JASNAH as her SOULCASTER overheats)SHALLAN: NOOOOOOOO!(SHALLAN dives in front of JASNAH and is struck by three DARTS in quick succession) BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE KALADIN: I hate the Weeping. I can’t believe dad spent another of those Spheres. TIEN: It’s not so bad, Kal. You can’t let the weather get you down. KALADIN’S MOM: You’re brother is right. The spheres are a diversion. LIRIN: Army’s in town or something. Everyone act natural.(EVERYONE assembles in the TOWN SQUARE) (AMARAM enters, taking a moment to comb his GOATEE before resuming his MUSTACHE TWIRLING) AMARAM: Who wants to join the Army? We have… lot of rocks? I guess the pay is pretty good. (ROSHONE enters. He has gain CONSIDERABLE WEIGHT to account for his MISSING LEG.) ROSHONE: We will be taking volunteers. The volunteers will be you and you. (TIEN is knocked off his FEET and begins to FALL backwards, drawn by AMARAM ARMY’S immense GRAVITATIONAL PULL) KALADIN: TIEN! (KALADIN grabs TIEN, holding him by the hand) KALADIN: I’ve got you. ROSHONE: Need a hand? (ROSHONE falls out of his PALANQUIN. KALADIN losses his grip on TIEN.)TIEN: Goodbye, brother. KALADIN: I’m going after him. FADE TO BLACK (The BRIDGEMEN ASSEMBLE. HASHAL enters.) HASHAL: Listen up, maggots! I’m the captain now. MATEL: … HASHAL: Technically my husband is, but you can think of me and your new god! MATEL: … TEFT: Your husband is pretty clearly a cardboard cutout. [CENSORED] KALADIN: So, Bridge Four doesn’t get anyone new?GAZ: Not exactly. (A PARSHMAN wearing a TUXEDO and holding a MARTINI enters) GAZ: Not really sure where he came from, but all the Bridgemen dying lately have driven up the price of slaves, so Hashal though we should give it a shot. Also, you get permeant Chasm Duty. Matel’s orders, of course. (BRIDGE FOUR exits)KALADIN: You need a name. How about… Shen. Just Shen.SHEN: … (BRIDGE FOUR reports for CHASM DUTY) BRIDGEMEN: So, boss. How we gonna get out of this one?KALADIN: We can’t. We’re all dead. No KnobWeed money, no new members. We don’t have a chance. SYL: So, you’re going to give up, then? KALADIN: There is one thing we could try. (KALADIN picks up a discarded SPEAR from a DEAD BODY and racks a round) KALADIN: We could fight. LATER SHALLAN: Where am I?KABSAL: You’re in the Hospital.SHALLAN: What! Kabsal, you tried to kill Jasnah! You shot me! KABSAL: Actually, I didn’t do either of those things.SHALLAN: What do you mean? I saw you-KABSAL: I’ve been a figment of your imagination this entire time. (KABSAL begins to fade and quickly VANISHES) SHALLAN: …what? THE END? TEFT: Hey Kaladin. You can probably do magic or something. KALADIN: You’re right. I just noticed that.SYL: I still don’t care about you. I hope the Parshendi kill you!(SYL vanishes) KALADIN: We need to do something about the Parshendi arrows. If they keep shooting at as, they’ll kill us one at a time, unless… (KALADIN looks at the large number of DEAD PARSHENDI in the CHASM, then SMIRKS) THE NEXT BRIDGEDAY TEFT: This is going to be a bad one. They’re already lined up and waiting for us. MATEL: … GAZ: BRIDGES FORWARD! KALADIN: Checking systems. Stormlight reserve levels, check. Linkage integrity, check. RPMs reaching normal. (The PARSHENDI draw back their bows) KALADIN: Force feedback checking start. (The PARSHENDI open fire)MOASH: What the- (RIPPLES appear in several nearby WATER GLASSES)SHEN: … (KALADIN charges out from under the BRIDGE, ripples appearing in several nearby WATER GLASSES. He wears a suit of DEAD PARSHENDI. Several ARROWS strike KALADIN and bounce off.)KALADIN: There is no spoon. (The approaching ARROWS slow doing dramatically, and KALADIN begins DODGING ALL OF THEM as the PARSHENDI lose FIRE DISCIPLINE) GAZ: IMPOSSIBRU! TEFT: Well, we got the bridges down without anyone important dying, but it looks like Sadeas is going to lose this one.DALINAR: I doubt it.(DALAINAR ARMY arrives, attacking the PARSHENDI from a SECOND FLANK. They RETREAT.) IN THE KHOLIN CAVE ADOLIN: I can’t believe I was wrong about Sadeas! RENARIN: Well, you shouldn’t think less of him just because he set you up to fight four Shardbearders at once. ADOLIN: Wait, what? RENARIN: I mean… You shouldn’t think less of him just because killed Asmodean. DALINAR: Not to get us back on track again, but can we get back on track? I’m not sure I can tie myself to this chair on my own. NAVANI: I can help with that… (NAVANI enters, SCANDALOUSLY wearing a FINGERLESS GLOVE) DALINAR: I’ve been finding these odd fabrials attached to my head when I wake up… most mornings now, actually. There’s one on the table right there. (FABRIAL sits on the TABLE, GLOWING OMINOUSLY) DALINAR: I don’t suppose you know anything about that, do you?NAVANI: No, no…. No. RENARIN: Highstorm’s here. DALINAR: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! ADOLIN: What did you see?DALINAR: I saw... I don't know what I saw. Death... Destruction... Nothing's really clear. NAVANI: What the last thing you said?DALINAR: ‘To be human is to want that which we cannot have’. (NAVANI procures a LARGE TOME from SOMEWHERE) NAVANI: Wait! If I cross-matrix the sample with the known passages and integrate the function of highstorm travel time over that interval… RENARIN: That makes perfect sense! NAVANI: And if I can translate the DawnChant from these visions, that would prove that they aren’t just insane ramblings! DALINAR: Can someone untie me now? NAVANI: I don’t see why that’s necessary. (AIR RAID SIREN)DALINAR: That’s The Tower. SADEAS: We need to attack the Parshendi now! ADOLIN: Is that a good idea? That far away, they’ll get in place first… SADEAS: Fighting is sure to result in victory, so we must fight! RENARIN: That isn’t even what that quote means. Besides, everyone with a brain knows that Clausewitz was better. SADEAS: Shutup, nerd. Anyway, that far away, your MechaBridges won’t be fast enough. You can borrow some of my Crews. RENARIN: Is that a good idea?DALINAR: I’m sure we can trust this man to give us bridges. (SADEAS twirls his MOUSTACHE) THE FINAL COUNTDOWN (SFX: Pacific Rim Theme) KALADIN: Bridge Four, Assemble! TEFT: All squads ready in all respects for action, sir. Ad Victoriam! (BRIDGE FOUR salutes KALADIN) BRIDGE FOUR: Ad Victoriam! KALADIN: Excellent. Stand by for departure. Ad Victoriam. OTHER BRIDGEMEN: YAY!ROCK: What are the wetlanders yelling about now?TEFT: They’ve finally realized who we are.MOASH: And what’s that?KALADIN: Their CHAMPIONS! Bridge forward. (SYLPHERENA folds her ARMS under her CHEST) SYL: It’s not that impressive… THE ASSASSIN IN WHITE FLED ACROSS THE PLAIN… DALINAR ARMY TECHNICIAN: Recovering from jump. Sensors coming back online now. Parshendi returns detected, separating signatures… Roughly ten thousand contacts on The Tower. SADEAS: We can take then thousand! We’ve got at least… a lot of soldiers? I’ll attack first, then you pursue the servants of the Corpse God up the Plateau. ADOLIN: But with that plan of attack, if your army breaks… SADEAS: JUST DO IT! DON’T LET YOUR FREAKY HIGHSTORM VISIONS BE DREAMS! DALINAR: All units, begin assault! (DALINAR and ADOLIN begin KILLING PARSHENDI) SADEAS: You’ve activated my trap card! (SADEAS shuffles all creatures under his control into his LIBRARY) TEFT: Is our army supposed to be retreating? (A wild PARSHENDI ARMY appears!) MOASH: That’s not good. ROCK: Stupid wetlanders, getting encircled. KALADIN: This is perfect. We fall behind because of our extra wounded, then loot those bodies for wargear and evacuate. They’ll assume we’re all dead, and then we’re free. (CREMLINGS chirping) (SYLPHERENA looks eastward, toward the ORIGIN and DALINAR ARMY) Vietnam, 1968 Near the Laotian Border Private First Class Kaladin Sturmmwerfer ran, clutching his assault rifle, trying to keep a low profile as he made a beeline for the trench. The detonation of motor shells formed a constant cracking staccato, combining the NVA fire to create a truly nightmarish cacophony. Kaladin spotted the trench and the last second and dove into it, a bullet slicing through the space previously occupied by his head an instant later. The situation was a mess; the fact that they had trenches, that they’d had the chance to dig them but had been unable to extract attested to that. … “What company are you from?” The man asked, flinching as a mortar shell detonated a few feet from the trench. “What’s their status?”“Dead.” Kaladin said, only barely managing not to stutter. “Dead. All dead.” … Kaladin found his way to the reassignment command post. He knew it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity, one he could barely remember. He spotted Sergeant Dalar as he approached; the man was in charge of Tien’s replacement squad. He needed to- “Reassignment is that way.” Dalar said, glancing at Kaladin.“I need to find the replacement squad. The one from the auxiliary regimental comms section.” “Why would you need that?” … “You.” The lieutenant said, pointing at Kaladin. “Get on the line. About time we got some reinforcements. How many-?”He was interrupted by a sudden burst of machine gun fire. “They’re attacking again.” The gunner announced, panic edging his voice. “Two thrusts, scattered. I’m almost out of ammo, and-““We’ve got fire support.” The lieutenant said. “Just make them keep their heads down for second and we’ll be clear. This time.” … Three solider in foxholes below the MLR. He spotted Tien immediately, fumbling his first attempt to fit a box magazine into the Squad Automatic Weapon he held, a weapon he clearly had almost no idea how to use.Tien opened fire, but the NVA were already closing on his position, and he fired almost continuously, and ran out of ammunition. Kaladin opened his mouth to shout something. … Tien could barely use the SAW, but he’d still caused the enemy to bunch up for the strike. Kaladin glanced back at the lieutenant.“Gotta turn a liability into an asset whenever you can. Only way to stay alive.” … SYL: Do fissionspren cause atomic decay, or are they attracted to it? KALADIN: Tien never could figure that out. I was usually more interested in the stellar sequences and other… Is this the time for that? Does it even matter?SYL: See, I’ve remembered what I am. Honorspreen. Spirit of Oaths, promises, and nobility. KALADIN: I’ve… This place… I won’t let it happen again… KALADIN: BRIDGE FORWARD!(BRIDGE FOUR charges the CHASM, easily DEFLECTING the first few salvos of PARSHENDI fire) (SFX) TEFT: There! On the left flank! (A large blob of PARSHENDI outflanks) KALADIN: Side carry! (BRIDGE FOUR rotates their BRIDGE, and the outflanking PARSHENDI suddenly EXPLODE) MOASH: Oh no… PARSHENDI: Now witness the power of this fully armed and operational battle station! (THE SUN vanishes as the PARSHENDI fire LOTS OF ARROWS) KALADIN: STEADY! (KALADIN raises a hand, and FLATTENED HEMISPHERE of RIPPLING EDDIES OF INCANDESCENT ENERGY appears, drawing in and catching each of the arrows) KALADIN: Vortex Lashing! (KALADIN returns the ARROWS to the PARSHENDI. They ALL DIE. KALADIN gains a LEVEL.) TEFT: Set bridge and prepare for combat!ESHONAI: Send in the next wave. (The GROUND shakes as a PARSHENDI SWARM approaches)KALADIN: GIVE THEM NOTHING! TAKE FROM THEM EVERYTHING! SOMEWHERE NEARBY SHARDPLATE: Stormlight dangerous low. Immediate withdrawal from combat recommended. DALINAR: I would if I could Shsh, but that’s not really an option now, is it? ADOLIN: Well, this is how it ends. DALINAR: What, no witty remarks?ADOLIN: Acerbic is better for last words. Besides, you were doing the right thing. I see that now. I suppose this had to happen sooner or later. Journey Before Destination and all that. If- WHAT IS THAT!(A massive SHARDBEAR crashes through the ALETHI line)ADOLIN: …. DALINAR: Why now! Why did you wait so long!ESHONAI: ROAR! DALINAR: Once more, into the breach! @BRIDGEHEAD KALADIN: I will protect those who cannot protect themselves. (KALADIN stares down the PARSHENDI SWARM) KALADIN: Sort of like you.(The PARSHENDI attack, with exactly the expected results against KALADIN’s T6 2+/3++ FNP 4+ IWND) SLY: OVERKILL! (KALADIN punches a hole in a PARSHEDI before grabbing another to use as a bludgeon) SLY: KILLTROCITY! KALADIN: THIS HAND OF MINE GLOWS WITH AN AWESOME POWER! ITS IMMORTAL WORDS TELL ME TO DEFEAT YOU! TAKE THIS! MY LOVE! MY ANGST! AND ALL OF MY COMPETENCE! (A PAINFULLY BRIGHT MOTE OF LIGHT appears in KALADIN’S HAND) KALADIN: INERTIAL-GRAVATIC CONFINEMENT FUSION LASHING! 45
Kaymyth she/her Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 I swear, these things get more and more brilliant every one you post.
lookingglass she/her Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 RENARIN: I mean… You shouldn’t think less of him just because killed Asmodean. DALINAR: Not to get us back on track again, but can we get back on track? I’m not sure I can tie myself to this chair on my own. NAVANI: I can help with that… (NAVANI enters, SCANDALOUSLY wearing a FINGERLESS GLOVE) Scandalous Navani's return! I've missed this. Excellent work as always. When can we expect the next installment?
Heir of the Void he/him Posted January 12, 2016 Author Posted January 12, 2016 Scandalous Navani's return! I've missed this. Excellent work as always. When can we expect the next installment? She's fun to write. The next one shouldn't take too long; Part IV is almost done (Dalinar and Kaladin just need to take down the Shardbear) and Part V is a lot shorter. I'm working out my plan for Wodurrs of RadGrayiance, and that is going to be crazy. Shallan's SAN continues to plummet as she confronts becoming a killer (repeatedly), Adolin finds love (in a Shardless place?), Renarin's family drives him to drugs, Dalinar discovers that the danger of Highprinces and irritation of politics is nothing compared to a relationship, and Kaladin goes to jail, and decides to write a book. 11
DreamEternal Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 Renarin's family drives him to drugs If he predicted the big duel with no godmetals drugs, then I expect him to travel back in time and hand Mr.T the Diagram with them. 1
Heir of the Void he/him Posted January 12, 2016 Author Posted January 12, 2016 If he predicted the big duel with no godmetals drugs, then I expect him to travel back in time and hand Mr.T the Diagram with them. Though... He'd effectively be calling a hit on himself. 3
DreamEternal Posted January 12, 2016 Posted January 12, 2016 Though... He'd effectively be calling a hit on himself. Drugs, mannn!
Heir of the Void he/him Posted January 12, 2016 Author Posted January 12, 2016 Drugs, mannn! Dude. In, like, a thousand days, there's gonna be this... 4evastorm, and it's gonna be radical. 5
Recommended Posts