The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[NameIess]

The adventurers in training pulled out their weapons.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

The squid took one look their stances and sighed. "Do none of you even know how to fight properly?" he asked.

[NameIess]

The students all lunged at the squid, howling with rage at his insult.

Edited April 24, 2020 by Nameless

[xinoehp512 he/him]

The squid easily evaded their attacks, calling out advice as he did so.

[NameIess]

This only made them angrier, and they continued to attack the Squid without ceasing.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

The squid flew gloomily away.

[NameIess]

Pursued by a horde of Incensed students.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

He sang a lament.

[NameIess]

"ALL RIGHT GUYS, THAT'S ENOUGH." Nameless called the students back, and then looked at them sternly, "You call that COMBAT? I'VE SEEN FAIRIES THAT CAN FIGHT BETTER THAN YOU USELESS LOT! DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY, THEN RUN TWO DOZEN LAPS AROUND THIS LAKE. YOU HAVE UNTIL I FINISH EATING DINNER TO COME BACK, OR ELSE IT'S NO DESERT FOR A YEAR."

[xinoehp512 he/him]

The squid settled on a far-off treetop and thought depressing thoughts.

[NameIess]

"HEY SQUID! WANT TO HAVE SOME DINNER?" Nameless held up a plate filled with Chouta. "THERE'S ALWAYS AT LEAST ONE STUDENT IN EVERY CLASS WHO HAS SECRETLY BEEN TRAINED AS A COOK BY ONE OF THEIR PARENTS, WHILE THE OTHER PARENT INSISTED THEY BE AN ADVENTURER"

[xinoehp512 he/him]

But the squid was took sunk in his misery too even notice, let alone care.

[NameIess]

Nameless cut a hole in space, then reached through it and grabbed the squid.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

The squid squirted ink on him halfheartedly.

[NameIess]

Nameless asked the squid why it was so morose.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

"I thought that I was needed," said the squid sadly. "But I was wrong."

[Ironwill2112 he/him]

Then Nameless offers the squid a waffle to make him feel better.

[NameIess]

Nameless quickly killed the ninja impersonator and hired the Squid as an assistant teacher.

[Ironwill2112 he/him]

McWafy then descends from the Heavens and announces that Nameless has past his test.

As reward, McWafy grants @Nameless a single wish.

[NameIess]

Nameless pulled out his sword. "ALL RIGHT CLASS, GET HIM!" The class of Adventurers in training jumped out of the bushes and wrapped @McWafy in ropes made out of Mithril, silver, gold, platinum, and every single other metal they could think of. Nameless put his sword to McWafy's throat. "ALL RIGHT YOU CURSED GENIE, YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE US INFINITE WISHES, OR YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE THIS SWORD DOWN YOUR GULLET. WHICH DO YOU CHOOSE?"

[Ironwill2112 he/him]

Ahem. "Well, for one, it is not within my powers to grant more then 3 wishes per person. (who has earned each wish, individually.)

And well, second, you are not currently doing a very good job earning those last two wishes."

 

[NameIess]

"YOU WILL GIVE US THE WISHES OR YOU WILL DIE!" Nameless bellowed, slashing his sword through the air wildly.

[Rosharan A.C. he/him]

A.C. watches from afar and tries to figure out what’s happening in the tree. “Dang, I wish I could see better.”

[xinoehp512 he/him]

30 minutes ago, Nameless said:

"YOU WILL GIVE US THE WISHES OR YOU WILL DIE!" Nameless bellowed, slashing his sword through the air wildly.

"Technically, no," said the squid in a regretful tone. "This genie is immortal- Death will not touch them, no matter what you do."

[+Doomstick he/him]

Death, you see, had poked the genie throughout elementary school, making the genie figure out how to stop that from happening. Did you get that Reader?

the fourth wall was broken