The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

This. Is. Why. I. Don't. Like. Plot. On. TLT. 

TVG glared. I don't like godmodding. 

The annoyed Author erased Granite's short-term memories of seeing the illusion of his sister. 

Continue, she told him. Go find your family, child... 

And thus the boy mistborn began ascending the mountainface. 

[Snake Eyes Productions_YT he/him]

But he wasn't paying attention, and he ran straight into a boulder. 

 

Edited February 16, 2020 by The Face of Daiseri

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

TVG poofed it out of existence before he could hit it. Kid, you have no idea how much danger you are in, she thought ruefully. 

[Snake Eyes Productions_YT he/him]

That's when the earth exploded all around him.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Him being Butt Venture. The dream was now ending.

[Snake Eyes Productions_YT he/him]

TFOD grew frustrated because he could not defeat Granite.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Granite has plot armor, TVG said, cracking her knuckles. He's the main character's son. 

[Snake Eyes Productions_YT he/him]

Suddenly, very far away, an evil Mistborn was given the challenge to assassinate Granite. The evil Mistborn, named Jonny, searched everywhere for the boy. Until finally the two crossed paths. 

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

TVG snapped, getting her daughter's attention. Sophie, please deal with this.

"Hmm?" Sophie looked up and read through the last couple of posts. "Oh, my nephew!" Her face got angry. "Messing with my family is not okay. Begone, evil godmodder!" With that, she Narrated a giant forcefield around the mountain, keeping out any evil mistborn, thermonuclear device, or any other thing of mal intent towards Granite or any other being on the mountain. Narrator Sophie put her hands on her hips in satisfaction. 

[Snake Eyes Productions_YT he/him]

TFOD decided to leave Granite alone. 

[Jaywalk he/him]

With his thoughts, which was never a good idea.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Truthless wondered if he could call TFOD TOD for short. Or maybe Seri. Heck, even Dai. Just probably not Face.

Edited February 16, 2020 by Truthless of Shinovar

[NameIess]

Nameless happily considered how nice it felt to be able to talk about himself in third person easily.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

49 minutes ago, The Face of Daiseri said:

TFOD decided to leave Granite alone. 

Sophie pumped her fist into the air. "Ha, ha!" she exclaimed. "I did it!"

45 minutes ago, Jaywalk said:

With his thoughts, which was never a good idea.

Granite Pushed himself upward, the wind whistling in his ears, messing up his white-blonde hair. His cloak fluttered around him, making him feel at ease. He had gotten quite used to feeling it on him. In fact, he'd grown since he'd left home with it and it now fit him quite a bit better. He wondered if Kell suspected him for taking it. He'd never told anyone else that he was Mistborn. Not his aunt and uncle, not his older sister, not his cousins. He found himself growing oddly sad. He didn't miss home very much. Both of his homes. He only barely remembered what his mother and father looked like. Marsh's face was more ingrained in his mind though, mostly because he'd never seen anyone else with spikes like his. His mother on the other hand... He remembered her blonde curls, her twinkling blue eyes. Not much else besides that. Star. Such an odd name. Unlike any of the Alethi names he'd spent most of his life around. It was mysterious with a beautiful connotation. And yet, so far, his mother had brought only darkness to his life.

Questions.

Why did she leave? Who was she? When did her story begin? What did she want? Where was she now? How did she end up with Marsh? 

Would Granite ever find the answers?

His old home with Jasnah and Kelsier hadn't given him any answers. Nobody seemed to want to talk about anything that happened. Rose was particularly adamant on her refusal to share any of her memories. Kelsier could talk for hours on end about his older brother, but never said a word about what had gone down with Star. Sophie seemed to have known things. Jay, the man who came around to be with Max had obviously possessed mystical properties and he'd even tried to "train" Granite. Whatever that meant. None of it made sense. In his heart was an ever-present, quiet, cold anger, yet the more logical part of him knew that there was far more that he did not know than what he did have knowledge of. Therefore, he could make no judgement about his situation. All he really knew was that his mother had left him and his sister. Years later, they had received word that Star had filed for divorce. His father had gone quite mad over the whole thing, left one day and never come back. Apparently he was dead now. And maybe his mother was too, but something told him that that was not the case. Perhaps whatever was at the top of this mountain could shed some light on his situation. 

He looked down, noting that the blue line that connecting him and the coin below was growing faint. He grabbed another coin - one of his last - and dropped it on a protruding rock below him, then Pushed on the new coin. He continued to shoot upward, determination and adrenaline burning within him. 

[Lunamor she/her]

Suddenly a Potatowatcher from a few pages back had a starch vision. The Glucosebringers were coming.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

“THAT IS OF THE ENEMY!!!” Truthless said, running up and smashing the Potatowatcher with a sledgehammer. Overkill? Maybe. But better safe than sorry.

[Lunamor she/her]

But the slaughter of a single potato could do nothing to stop the massive slaughter that was coming. Far away (yet not far enough) a massive army began to rise in the sugar cane fields of the horrible land of Dextrosia. Legion upon legion of sugary beasts surfaced from bubbling pools of artificial flavorings. At first they appeared to be nothing more than little globs of food coloring, writhing pitifully upon the ground of used silver wrappers. But as they were exposed to the steaming clouds of chemicals that filled the atmosphere, sucking them into their gelatinous bodies with an awful squelching sound, they began to change shape. They crystalized, became more solid. Some grew outer shells so sour that just a single breath of their toxic fumes could leave even the nastiest zucchini immobilized, gasping for breath. Those would be the Warheads. Nasty things. Even their fellow fighters made sure to stay away from them. They had a tendency to... explode when they got upset. Or angry. Or sad. Or mildly perturbed. Other blobs grew into smaller forms. Not a single one was the same color as the next, different patterns covering their skins, but somehow they all managed to keep the same shape. Despite their differences, it was near impossible to tell them apart. The powdery white tattoos on their sides- reading the ever fearsome words “Jelly Belly”- certainly didn’t help matters. These warriors none could predict, for each had a different taste and way of destruction. Each, however, was equally lethal. A third group of sludge piles began to transform into massive, perfectly round balls of a material stronger than steel and heavier than the feeling of dropping ones ice cream cone into a gutter. They varied in size, the biggest brushing the cotton candy clouds which drifted high above. They rolled to and fro at random, occasionally crushing any unfortunate piece of candy that happened to be in their path. They either didn’t know or didn’t care. Such things were below them- both figuratively and literally. There were many more sorts of confections stalking about in the great crowd, but to simply list them all would take years. All that needs to be said is that they were dangerous. They were cruel. They were evil. And they were coming.

I’ve got no clue where that came from.

Edited February 17, 2020 by Lunamor

[Jaywalk he/him]

The third person, however, quite enjoyed referring to himself in the fourth person.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

1 hour ago, Lunamor said:

But the slaughter of a single potato could do nothing to stop the massive slaughter that was coming. Far away (yet not far enough) a massive army began to rise in the sugar cane fields of the horrible land of Dextrosia. Legion upon legion of sugary beasts surfaced from bubbling pools of artificial flavorings. At first they appeared to be nothing more than little globs of food coloring, writhing pitifully upon the ground of used silver wrappers. But as they were exposed to the steaming clouds of chemicals that filled the atmosphere, sucking them into their gelatinous bodies with an awful squelching sound, they began to change shape. They crystalized, became more solid. Some grew outer shells so sour that just a single breath of their toxic fumes could leave even the nastiest zucchini immobilized, gasping for breath. Those would be the Warheads. Nasty things. Even their fellow fighters made sure to stay away from them. They had a tendency to... explode when they got upset. Or angry. Or sad. Or mildly perturbed. Other blobs grew into smaller forms. Not a single one was the same color as the next, different patterns covering their skins, but someone they all managed to keep the same shape. Despite their differences, it was near impossible to tell them apart. The powdery white tattoos on their sides- reading the ever fearsome words “Jelly Belly”- certainly didn’t help matters. These warriors none could predict, for each had a different taste and way of destruction. Each, however, way equally lethal. A third group of sludge piles began to transform into massive, perfectly round balls of a material stronger than steel and heavier than the feeling of dropping ones ice cream cone into a gutter. They varied in size, the biggest brushing the cotton candy clouds which drifted high above. They rolled to and fro at random, occasionally crushing any unfortunate piece of candy that happened to be in their path. They either didn’t know or didn’t care. Such things were below them- both figuratively and literally. There were many more sorts of confections stalking about in the great crowd, but to simply list them all would take years. All that needs to be said is that they were dangerous. They were cruel. They were evil. And they were coming.

I’ve got no clue where that came from.

That... that was beautiful!!

Truthless popped into existence near a jellybean and popped one in his mouth. “Mmm... delicious.” He said, then popped back out of the thread’s existence.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

There was one thing that could stop them- the sugar-hungry breadmunks.

[FatherTiempo he/him]

FT landed in a crouch. Running at a dash (while considering if that was an actual phrase) he coalesced Narration into a silvery staff. He swung the staff against one of the jelly babies, sending it flying against one of the spheres of heavy material. He slid to a stop, grabbing the staff in both hands. It split, one side forming into a tall, curving shield, the other stretching and flattening into the shape of wide-bladed longsword. "I will make my stand," FT said, "With the breadmunks!"

[+Ark1002]

Narrator Willow walked into the fray, confused. Everything whirled around her, and she looked upon it, trying to understand these strange creatures of her world. One of them attempted to attack her, and she send out tendrils of wood instinctively, crushing it. Her green eyes opened wide, and she shed chlorophyll tears. She had taken a life, for the first time.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Truthless popped out front the inside of one of the giant jawbreakers. “Ha! My reconnaissance mission was a success! But run, they’re about to break out the ice cream!!”

[Jaywalk he/him]

The dreaded ice cream scoop floated down from the sky.

[NameIess]

Nameless rallied a group of Wheatrunners to combat this vile threat.