The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Lunamor she/her]

Due to Consequence’s gross violation of conduct, he was forever banished from Uncle Brandy’s presence.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Uncle Brandy farted in his general direction.

General Direction was pleased.

[Kidpen he/him]

General Direction could then send his army to attack Brandy. 

[Lunamor she/her]

Then, with the power of the fart of Uncle Brandy, General Directon destroyed him for imprisoning him for all of those years.

Edited January 15, 2019 by Lunamor

[whattheHoid she/her]

Butt came in through an explosion of Epic Farts and started to rain vodka down on Uncle Brandy to revive him.

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

When that didn't work, Butt used the power of Fartomancy to bring Uncle Brandy back to life.

[whattheHoid she/her]

That worked, however it had some unintended consequences. Uncle Brandy was now merged with Hagrid and his lesser cousin Hagrood.

[Lunamor she/her]

General Direction was frozen with both extreme fear and confusion.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Everyone loved watching General Direction, now called Frozen.

[whattheHoid she/her]

He started to belt out power ballades at the top of his lungs. The song, coincidentally, was called, "At the top of my lungs."

[Ink he/him]

The music went from the top of his lungs to the bottom of his heart.

[Lunamor she/her]

All who heard his magical song could not resist singing along.

Edited January 15, 2019 by Lunamor

[Sherlock Holmes he/him]

It was the Ghostblood pledge, and all of those who had sung were now sworn Ghostbloods.

[Lunamor she/her]

There was a large increase in the number of blow guns, and everyone kept trying to assassinate each other.

Edited January 15, 2019 by Lunamor

[Kidpen he/him]

The blow gun companies all had to compete for a slice of this new market.

[Lunamor she/her]

BlowGunCo slowly took over the market.

[whattheHoid she/her]

Their rivals, BlowGlo© quickly surpassed the sales of BlowGunCo. They had spent a lot on their marketing campaign.

[Lunamor she/her]

Unfortunately, they spent so much money on marketing that they could not afford to purchase more inventory.

[whattheHoid she/her]

But they acquired more investors which provided more money for more inventory. They were the More Flaffles for your Waffles!®; the Ghanderflaffle owned investment company.

[Lunamor she/her]

However, their new investors ended up owning 51% of the company, so they required all of the blowguns to be waffle themed.

[Jaywalk he/him]

There were no toppings, however, so nobody bought the waffle blowguns. The Ghanderflaffles were severely disappointed in themselves.

[Lunamor she/her]

Themselves was upset that the Ghanderflaffles were disappointed in him, as it was not his fault that they didn’t have toppings.

[Lunamor she/her]

I saw that someone wanted a drawing of Kaladin Chullblessed quite a while back when reading the beginnings of this thread, so I repurposed an old drawing of a chull. Ahem:

BEHOLD! IT IS THE MAJESTIC KALADIN CHULLBLESSED!!!

[whattheHoid she/her]

BEHOLD! IT IS THE MAJESTIC KALADIN CHULLBLESSED!!! Was the More Flaffles for your Waffles!® new slogan in an attempt to appeal and reinvent themselves to the inscrutable chulls.

Neat drawing!!! I like it!

[Turtle373 he/him]

But the chulls didn't care, because they're chulls.