The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

And they left on their honeymoon, to conquer the world.

[NameIess]

*an uninhabited planet. Eof was determined to take a break from his thread-dominating plans.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

He would be back. But enjoyed a break from the stress and Nameless.

[NameIess]

And they lived happily ever after.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Except their planet blew up.

[NameIess]

This made Ismerelda angry.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

So she went to find out the reason that the planet blew up.

[NameIess]

Turns out it was some no-good Narrator called ‘Wizard’

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Wizard was off on an adventure so all calls went to his sentient A.I. messaging machine. It was also rather rude.

[NameIess]

So Ismerelda hired a lawyer.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

The A.I. won the case.

[NameIess]

But Wizard’s reputation was completely ruined as everyone realized how petty he was.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

The Selffalfrednahgs were happy that for once, people weren't blaming them for the destruction of a planet.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

The problem was that the A.I. had taken over Wizard's weapons, but no one knew this.

[NameIess]

And no one ever would, as the A.I had erased itself to prevent the secret from getting out.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

But it hadn't erased itself completely. It took a tiny bit of it's conscious and put it in a chip, and then had that chip placed in a place where no one would ever find it.

That unfindable place being inside Butt Venture's shoe.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

So of course Syl found it, when raising baby spren.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

She hadn't told Kaladin yet.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

This caused him to swear the fifth ideal.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

And then Ascend to Honor.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

All of this drew Wizard's attention and he recovered the rouge A.I. chip.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Kaladin continued on as Honor, killing Odium's vessel and taking it for himself as well, becoming the Shard of War.

Turns out Hoid taught him a ton of stuff off-screen.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Next he took Autonomy and became the autonomous shard of war. He had the best army of them all, led by Dalinar Kholin.

[NameIess]

Then he crossed paths with the general.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

The General decided to join him.