A test of Wits

[ryshadium90]

14 hours ago, Aon Ene said:

@Sami@ryshadium90 I get what you two are saying, but what I meant was I don't really want to insult people in this thread because they're so clever and funny. 

Yep. I understand that too.

[Sami she/her]

And now..... Back to insulting? 

(Admittedly I am very bad at it, but still)

[ryshadium90]

20 hours ago, Sami said:

And now..... Back to insulting? 

Ok, let's see...If wit was measured in lengths of string, none of you would have enough to tie a square knot around a flea's pinky finger.

[gbazz4 he/him]

On 7/22/2017 at 10:51 PM, Shqueeves said:

As I read through this thread, I realized something. 

 

You'll have to excuse @Shqueeves, he is a little slow, it only took him 5 pages into the thread to conclude everyone was stupid. 

[Sami she/her]

4 hours ago, ryshadium90 said:

Ok, let's see...If wit was measured in lengths of string, none of you would have enough to tie a square knot around a flea's pinky finger.

Or you either, apparently

[Calderis he/him]

@ryshadium90 this is a flea. 

Where exactly is the pinky? 

[gbazz4 he/him]

56 minutes ago, Calderis said:

@ryshadium90 this is a flea. 

Where exactly is the pinky? 

@Calderis I was thinking the same thing! Poor @ryshadium90 fingers (and pinkies in particular) must be confusing to comprehend for a hoofed animal. 

[ryshadium90]

2 hours ago, Calderis said:

@ryshadium90 this is a flea. 

Where exactly is the pinky? 

I'm sorry that you cannot comprehend a simple metaphor. (Though true, it is not my best.)

[Toaster Retribution he/him]

10 hours ago, ryshadium90 said:

I'm sorry that you cannot comprehend a simple metaphor. (Though true, it is not my best.)

You should have realized that the general IQ level here is far below the point where metaphors can be comprehended.

[Calderis he/him]

13 hours ago, ryshadium90 said:

I'm sorry that you cannot comprehend a simple metaphor. (Though true, it is not my best.)

2 hours ago, Toaster Retribution said:

You should have realized that the general IQ level here is far below the point where metaphors can be comprehended.

I apologize. I expect metaphors to be above the level of anthropomorphic animals or porridge bricks. 

I forgot to consider the source. 

[Toaster Retribution he/him]

You guys are all bricks made of porridge.

[Sami she/her]

18 hours ago, Toaster Retribution said:

You guys are all bricks made of porridge.

the skill of repetition 

[Toaster Retribution he/him]

1 hour ago, Sami said:

the skill of repetition 

At least it doesnt say "witless" like most other posts on this thread. In fact, think of the post I just made as a potato in a minefield. You go in here, and expect to find the same old insults, but instead, you find a metaphor quoted from the brilliant Brandon Sanderson. You should be very greatful :-)

[Calderis he/him]

If brevity is the soul of wit, 

I simply must abandon it, 

And make this poem for a cause, 

Pointing out this "test's" flaws, 

We take a place a love and glee, 

And mar it with this travesty, 

Of banal and inane repetitions, 

Made in the name of competition, 

I do not think it worth the toll, 

For rep gains here, that taint our souls, 

I end this with a plaintive cry, 

Please, oh please, let this thread die. 

[Sami she/her]

9 hours ago, Calderis said:

I end this with a plaintive cry, 

Please, oh please, let this thread die. 

sorry mate, not going to happen

[NamelessThirteenth]

Holy sonuvab#&@h, this thread just blew! My god!

So if ya'll wondering where I've been exactly (although I don't think you have - you all lack the equipment) it's because my internet connection has been blocking off the forum for ages now. 

But I'm back, and ready. With an IQ surpass you all...

Although that's not too much. My left pinkie has more intelligence and sense in it than the lot of you combined - and that's why it knows not to challenge me

[Aon Ene]

21 hours ago, Calderis said:

If brevity is the soul of wit, 

I simply must abandon it, 

And make this poem for a cause, 

Pointing out this "test's" flaws, 

We take a place a love and glee, 

And mar it with this travesty, 

Of banal and inane repetitions, 

Made in the name of competition, 

I do not think it worth the toll, 

For rep gains here, that taint our souls, 

I end this with a plaintive cry, 

Please, oh please, let this thread die. 

This poem is yet another example of how the most interesting or "witty" posts on this topic seem to be the least insulting. Since I like morals, I'm going to find a moral in this. 

Anger/hatred are fairly simple emotions.  Because intelligence requires complexity, anger and hatred don't really exist beside it, similar to cryptics and honor spren. It is difficult to hate someone/something you understand, especially if there isn't any malicious intent behind it  

Side note: This is actually a big problem I had with Taravangian. I find it hard to believe that someone who experienced differing mental and emotional capacities on a daily basis would not realize that it could be unwise to follow someone with a near-complete lack of empathy. 

[Toaster Retribution he/him]

9 hours ago, NamelessThirteenth said:

Holy sonuvab#&@h, this thread just blew! My god!

So if ya'll wondering where I've been exactly (although I don't think you have - you all lack the equipment) it's because my internet connection has been blocking off the forum for ages now. 

But I'm back, and ready. With an IQ surpass you all...

Although that's not too much. My left pinkie has more intelligence and sense in it than the lot of you combined - and that's why it knows not to challenge me

First, I'll point out the grammar: I suggest you reread the bolded sentence. 

Second, having a left pinky which doesn't challenge you is pretty unremarkable. I have one too. 

[Nathrangking he/him]

@NamelessThirteenth I would ask to wage a war of words and wit though I fear that you would convince me to adopt dull form simply to save myself.

[qwertyuiop he/him]

On 7/27/2017 at 6:21 PM, Nathrangking said:

@NamelessThirteenth I would ask to wage a war of words and wit though I fear that you would convince me to adopt dull form simply to save myself.

It is sad that those who have the timerity to invoke "wit" in their comments display so little of it themselves. But that is typical of this thread, where unoriginal commenters bumble about like broken Seons, desperately trying to imitate a fictional character whose (equally fictional) boots they are unworthy to lick and whose lowest jokes they must look up to in awe.

Indeed, the intellectual prowess on display here is so poor that a Koloss would not long endure it, choosing instead to return to the scintillating conversation of his fellows. Vasher's lifeless squirrel could come up with better insults than you cretins. And you cannot even stay on topic. Toastlonformers (awakened or otherwise) have no place in this most serious trading of insults. Several windspren of my acquaintance have expressed to me their shock that anything could long survive with so short an attention span.

However you should not fear, my poor mad Seons. Video Nihil, Audio Nihil, Scio Nihil (or for those of you without a proper education, I'm totally a super genius) and I shall elevate the discourse of this thread out of the repetitive pile of chull dung into which it has fallen.

Quidem, omnes insultus mei sunt novi. Cur quaeritis?

Spoiler

I had entirely too much fun writing this.

Google translate doesn't like that last bit of Latin at all. I don't actually know much of the language, but based on wiktionary I'm pretty sure it means: "Indeed, all my insults are new. Why do you ask?" Anyway, that's what I wanted it to say. 

 

[Calderis he/him]

@qwertyuiop wins the thread so far. 

Finally something worth the effort of reading. 

[Nathrangking he/him]

By austre, the stormfather,the nameless god, and the lord ruler says I the lot of you are cremlings devoid of what it takes to win a war of words. Your insults lack the color of a drab and your jokes are about as intelligent as a chull. I would sooner light a fire in the evening upon therenody than listen to your lifeless jabber. Dullform would a reward when compared to your blather. A wind spren can do more harm in a heartbeat than the attacks that you throw could do in a lifetime. A koloss would die of boredom before the first sentenced was ever uttered. Mark me as the victim of a blood sealer before subjecting me to the death by a thousand uninspired  blunted assaults of your hoed afflicted tongues.

[qwertyuiop he/him]

18 hours ago, Nathrangking said:

By austre, the stormfather,the nameless god, and the lord ruler says I the lot of you are cremlings devoid of what it takes to win a war of words. Your insults lack the color of a drab and your jokes are about as intelligent as a chull. I would sooner light a fire in the evening upon therenody than listen to your lifeless jabber. Dullform would a reward when compared to your blather. A wind spren can do more harm in a heartbeat than the attacks that you throw could do in a lifetime. A koloss would die of boredom before the first sentenced was ever uttered. Mark me as the victim of a blood sealer before subjecting me to the death by a thousand uninspired  blunted assaults of your hoed afflicted tongues.

I am glad to see that someone risen out of the crowd of cremlings to try their hand at real insults. It is therefore with some regret that I must inform you that your attempt is as weak as a newborn mistwraith, being little more than a loose assemblage of quips with no structure to tie it together. Still, these quips are mildly creative; I will deign to engage you in verbal warfare after my own inimitable fashion. 

What you must understand, you ignorant piece of Koloss crap, is that it is not enough to point out your opponent's lack of rhetorical skill. We are agreed that the conversational acumen of Shallan's stick far exceeds that of most commenters on this thread. However, you have failed to assert your superiority over your opponents. Granted in your case (as in the case of an aluminum gnat) there is not much superiority to assert, but you can make up for that with sufficient bravado. The roar of a Highstorm will conquer the most skillful argument, and you certainly have enough air for the job. Of course I have never needed to use this method. I am as far above you as the Lord Ruler is above the ash he created.

Ego sum confidens. Ego juro.

[Sami she/her]

13 minutes ago, qwertyuiop said:

I am glad to see that someone risen out of the crowd of cremlings to try their hand at real insults. It is therefore with some regret that I must inform you that your attempt is as weak as a newborn mistwraith, being little more than a loose assemblage of quips with no structure to tie it together. Still, these quips are mildly creative; I will deign to engage you in verbal warfare after my own inimitable fashion. 

What you must understand, you ignorant piece of Koloss crap, is that it is not enough to point out your opponent's lack of rhetorical skill. We are agreed that the conversational acumen of Shallan's stick far exceeds that of most commenters on this thread. However, you have failed to assert your superiority over your opponents. Granted in your case (as in the case of an aluminum gnat) there is not much superiority to assert, but you can make up for that with sufficient bravado. The roar of a Highstorm will conquer the most skillful argument, and you certainly have enough air for the job. Of course I have never needed to use this method. I am as far above you as the Lord Ruler is above the ash he created.

Ego sum confidens. Ego juro.

what he said 

[Nathrangking he/him]

2 hours ago, qwertyuiop said:

I am glad to see that someone risen out of the crowd of cremlings to try their hand at real insults. It is therefore with some regret that I must inform you that your attempt is as weak as a newborn mistwraith, being little more than a loose assemblage of quips with no structure to tie it together. Still, these quips are mildly creative; I will deign to engage you in verbal warfare after my own inimitable fashion. 

What you must understand, you ignorant piece of Koloss crap, is that it is not enough to point out your opponent's lack of rhetorical skill. We are agreed that the conversational acumen of Shallan's stick far exceeds that of most commenters on this thread. However, you have failed to assert your superiority over your opponents. Granted in your case (as in the case of an aluminum gnat) there is not much superiority to assert, but you can make up for that with sufficient bravado. The roar of a Highstorm will conquer the most skillful argument, and you certainly have enough air for the job. Of course I have never needed to use this method. I am as far above you as the Lord Ruler is above the ash he created.

Ego sum confidens. Ego juro.

I guess I should be flattered that I can put to shame a highstorm, however you, you spawn of a chull and a lifeless  have proven your hand at the arts of the charlatan that you profess to make your equal. Honesty bore Shallan's stick onward beyond the power which she sought to impose. You troglodyte  among Koloss troglodyte's are possessed by a vanity without the requisite ability to back any but the most infantile of claims.You are little more than  a crem covered pebble which seeks to be a diamond. My aluminum nullifies your power and leaves you with naught, but the mind of tonk fah's slaughtered pets. You batter at me like a figure of straw which you may as well admit that you could not be even in the greatest and most fantastic of your fantasies .Your claimed superiority is roughly the equivalent of Lightsong's lifeless squirrels claim to be heir to the God king. My biting gusts will cut you down as a proper high storm should. Run off to the lichen covered pile of chull dung that you came from. Wish your parents luck with their marginally superior minds as you wallow in the waste that makes up your brain cells.

Edited July 31, 2017 by Nathrangking