Stark Posted April 9, 2018 Report Share Posted April 9, 2018 In Soviet Roshar, the king imprisons your best friends parents so that they cannot compete with his favored noble in business and allows them to die in the gulag. Oh, wait. I don't think I'm very good at this game. And that reads a lot darker than everything else. Let's try again. In Soviet Roshar, stick Soulcasts you! And Dalinar's army wears Red! Rubies and Garnets are the most valuable gems! The only state approved Radiants are Dustbringers and Lightweavers, and the Everstorm is the only true storm! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weltall Posted April 9, 2018 Report Share Posted April 9, 2018 1 hour ago, Stark said: And Dalinar's army wears Red! You monster, it's like you want them to all get killed off by the Chasmfiend/Voidbringer/Unmade Of The Week! - In Soviet Roshar, Shardplate wears you for protection. - In Soviet Roshar, you spy on the Sleepless. - In Soviet Roshar, you insult Wit. And then the next day you realize that he secretly Awakened your pants with the Command 'Fall off in public'. Oops. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toaster Retribution Posted April 9, 2018 Report Share Posted April 9, 2018 In Soviet Roshar, food eats Lift. In Soviet Roshar, Nale is an anarchist. And in Soviet Roshar, Sadeas is still a piece of crem. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stark Posted April 9, 2018 Report Share Posted April 9, 2018 1 hour ago, Weltall said: You monster, it's like you want them to all get killed off by the Chasmfiend/Voidbringer/Unmade Of The Week! You mean like what happened at the Tower? Besides, I said they wear red, making them the Red Army. Not that they all become Redshirts. I may be a monster, but I'm not so cruel as to remove all hope of survival from them. No matter how many hopeless plateaus they get stuck on, there is always that lone bridge team there to save them at the last minute. And fully develop and synthesize an anti-venom for those bitten by the Wit within the hour provided by each episode. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theRoyalDingus Posted May 6, 2018 Report Share Posted May 6, 2018 (edited) In Soviet Roshar, Dustbringers send dust away! In Soviet Roshar, Lift is normal? In Soviet Roshar, Keteks are written backwards! Oh wait... Edited May 6, 2018 by theRoyalDingus 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gray to Posted May 9, 2018 Report Share Posted May 9, 2018 In Soviet Roshar, the Nightwatcher comes to YOU for a boon and a bane. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScarletSabre Posted May 9, 2018 Report Share Posted May 9, 2018 In Soviet Roshar, stones walk on YOU. ..... Storming Thunderclasts.... 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherlock Holmes Posted May 10, 2018 Report Share Posted May 10, 2018 The windspren cause wind! ...Or maybe the wind makes windspren... or... or something like that, I don't know! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathrangking Posted May 10, 2018 Report Share Posted May 10, 2018 In soviet roshar Callings choose you! In soviet roshar spheres spend you! In soviet roshar chasms map you! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbarian AL Posted May 10, 2018 Report Share Posted May 10, 2018 In soviet Roshar, the Pure Lakers don't hate you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ElephantEarwax Posted May 10, 2018 Report Share Posted May 10, 2018 In Soviet Roshar, the Shardblade summons you. In Soviet Roshar, the Shardblade awakens you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gray to Posted May 10, 2018 Report Share Posted May 10, 2018 In Soviet Roshar, the Heralds make Odium insane from torture. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherlock Holmes Posted May 10, 2018 Report Share Posted May 10, 2018 In Soviet Roshar, bridgemen’s issues are paid attention to by lighteyes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dashardie Posted May 12, 2018 Report Share Posted May 12, 2018 In Soviet Roshar, cremlings crush YOU underfoot In Soviet Roshar, Dysian Aimians are the Sleepy... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbarian AL Posted May 13, 2018 Report Share Posted May 13, 2018 In Soviet Roshar Sttormlight sucks you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hempknight Posted May 13, 2018 Report Share Posted May 13, 2018 In soviet Roshar. Your arms grow Lopen's people hide from the grass, and there's a wall being built to make Alethkar great again! ( and free of them pesky Herdazians) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theRoyalDingus Posted May 13, 2018 Report Share Posted May 13, 2018 (edited) In Soviet Roshar, all the knights radiant find computers and get together online, talking about their favorite 17th Sharders (I'm totally one of them. The Sharders, or course. Not the Radiants. But in Soviet Roshar, perhaps I am a radiant, talking about...myself? Wait. Never mind. This is getting too meta). Edited May 18, 2018 by theRoyalDingus 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidpen Posted May 18, 2018 Report Share Posted May 18, 2018 On 4/9/2018 at 3:54 AM, The Thinking Herald said: Redacted cause I think it's a spoiler. In soviet Roshar, Oathbringer spoils you! That's a spoiler, right? Correct me if I'm wrong. In soviet Roshar, Radiants roleplay you! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherlock Holmes Posted May 30, 2018 Report Share Posted May 30, 2018 In Soviet Roshar, Axehounds own YOU! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theRoyalDingus Posted June 8, 2018 Report Share Posted June 8, 2018 In Soviet Roshar, people make fun of the Soviet Union by saying: "In Soviet Roshar, people make fun of the Soviet Union by saying: "In Soviet Roshar, people make fun of the Soviet Union by saying: "In Soviet Roshar, people make fun of the Soviet Union by saying: "In Soviet Roshar, people make fun of the Soviet Union by saying: "In Soviet Roshar, people make fun of the Soviet Union by saying: "In Soviet Roshar, people make fun of the Soviet Union by saying... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherlock Holmes Posted June 14, 2018 Report Share Posted June 14, 2018 In Soviet Roshar, a Sanderson-obsessed kid makes up excuses to post on a nonsensical thread in rabbit-hole nerdy website when he's supposed to be doing something with his life! Oh wait, that happens in real life. Weird... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Okdes Posted June 18, 2018 Report Share Posted June 18, 2018 Hah, is this how you see Roshar? Airsick lowlanders. Horns eat YOU 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slimy_Slider Posted June 19, 2018 Report Share Posted June 19, 2018 In Soviet Roshar, Shallan poisons Kabsal In Soviet Roshar, Fire could be Stick [OB Spoilers] Spoiler In Soviet Roshar, Humans are Voidbringers In Soviet Roshar, Voidspren captures Timbre Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crucible of Shards Posted June 19, 2018 Report Share Posted June 19, 2018 In Soviet Roshar, Nightwatcher visits you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherlock Holmes Posted June 23, 2018 Report Share Posted June 23, 2018 In Soviet Ro)shar, Kelsier steals Kaladin's ideals (*heavy breathing* SURVIVE) while Shallan tries not to be Serini and Siri at the same time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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