Ask the autistic person - also hi, I'm new :D

[manavortex]

So, this is where I say hi - I wanted to stop hijacking this thread about Renarin with me talking about myself, so I figured I'd make a thread in the appropriate board to talk about myself some more.

 

I'm manavortex, currently twenty-eight, married to an awesome husband who has just recently yielded to my constant nagging and started reading the Mistborn trilogy, he's already halfway through the third. We share a tiny flat in Germany with two ginger cats and my bonus child (12), who didn't read either Alcatraz or the Rithmathist yet. I grew up bilingually, so my English mistakes will be twice as embarrassing. 

 

I'm also autistic, which is why I found a job at IT at a company who specialises on autistic employees, and since there's usually quite a fair bit of confusion about autism, I thought I'd give you the opportunity to shoot questions. I'm fairly impossible to insult, as long as you don't suggest I'm getting euthanised (and are serious about it), so ask anything, I can still refuse to answer if it's too personal. 

 

My short summary about myself being on the spectrum: 
Autistic people (I'll probably end up writing "autists", because that's a word in German) are not suffering from a disability any more than a hammer does for being bad at screwdriver-ing. Our brains are highly specialised - as everyone who ever played an RPG knows, you need to buy a lot of handicaps to get really high on the perks, so we "pay" for that with penalties on our dice rolls on everything social. 

 

Autism boils down to impression filtering. Our brain is, in each second, flooded with an extremely high number of impressions. We can process only a trickle of it, so most of it gets discarded, and the human brain is very good at telling the important bits from the less important bits. The autistic brain is... less efficient at that.
One thing that makes living easy for "neurotypicals" is the pattern recognition. For example, when you visit a doctor, you visit a doctor. Your dentist moves, you need to see a new one? Unpleasant, but it's still a dentist. Well, less so for me - even if the doctor I used to see moved office, that's something completely new for me, and it's stressful. That's what makes autistic people so good at IT problems - trying to apply standard patterns as "I've seen something similar before" often just makes these worse.

 

As for the social ineptitude, being a woman and the female brain being better-suited for social interaction than the male brain due to different wiring (for nonverbal communication with babies and the like), I'm somewhat "better off" than I'd be if I was a guy. Also, I have a fairly high IQ, which comes with quick thinking and an extremely high information processing rate. (I don't say that to disrate anyone, by the way, it's just a fact!) With that I can somewhat make up for the lack of intuitive understanding of nonverbal communication, but it is of course rather exhausting for me, which is why I prefer text. (At least a smiley will give a clear indication whether or not my opposite is joking!) 

 

The ability of consciously substituting my poor intuitive grasp of nonverbal and indirect communication patterns has ensured that I slipped through the unusual behaviour net until I was 18, when I got myself diagnosed with ADD. The medication (stimulants) gave my brain an additional boost to help me with the tiresome effort of filtering, which is how I made it through university, until I finally shipwrecked on my bachelor thesis and slipped into a depression. Fortunately it was a bipolar one, so in one of my manic episodes I managed to get myself help, and during that help I was diagnosed with the autistic spectrum class specialisation. 

 

I don't consider myself disabled or handicapped because I'm highly gifted in several areas. I'm a fast learner if I set my mind to something, and cutting through piles of information is something I can do easily - I'm also well-equipped for understanding highly complex and/or complicated matters. I wouldn't want to trade those skills for a "normal" brain, even if it meant that I could enjoy parties and be like all the other children. Since I know that I'm entitled to being like I am (like, there's a reason for it, I'm not just being "weird") I allow myself to seek enjoyment where I find it instead of where everyone else finds it, which is - mostly - online, but also in books. 

 

 

The character I feel most connected to is Jasnah. I can see me in a similar position, had my upbringing been different. 

 

So, umm, one novel later, nice to meet you.

[Citadel16]

I like you already.

I have a form of autism called aspergers, and I agree with you wholeheartedly.

[manavortex]

I have a form of autism called aspergers, and I agree with you wholeheartedly.

 

Asperger's is somewhat outdated though - these days we're all on the spectrum.

[Citadel16]

amen to that.

[Eagle of the Forest Path]

I'm fairly impossible to insult, as long as you don't suggest I'm getting euthanised (and are serious about it), so ask anything, I can still refuse to answer if it's too personal.

Just to test this hypothesis: what are your feelings about spaying?   (and, yes, I hate myself for thinking of this joke, so since I'm already hating myself I figured I might as well just post it too)

 

Seriously, though. You have my admiration for your willingness to talk about this and answer questions.

Most people (me included in some ways) have a completely distorted view about autism so correcting misconceptions should be a big step forward.

 

I kind of went the other direction.

First I got diagnosed with Asperger's (well, technically it was possible dyslexia about a decade before that) and then they changed their minds to ADD, by then I was 21.

Big hurrah for neurologic diagnostics... 

 

Welcome to the shard!

[Curious Anamaximder]

Welcome! I can tell that you are going to be a great member. In fact, you already are.

I was diagnosed with ADD a couple of years ago. I feel you.

[Stormgate]

I view autistic people as superheroes. From what I've seen, they are incredibly skilled or gifted in a few areas, usually in math and science, and have a built in 'weakness' of impaired social skills, as well as others.

On the topic of social interaction, I get the idea that social interaction for you is more like communicating like this, sans emoticons. Obviously you don't have to read the words you hear, but is it similar?

[Shardbearer]

Thank you for sharing. I have two autistic kids myself.

 

It should be pointed out that not all austistic people are savants or highly skilled in certain areas. My autistic son is appears to have hyperlexia, which is a heightened ability for reading and writing. He is also mostly non-verbal, though at 4 years old he is finally starting to improve there.

 

My 6 year old autistic daughter also had trouble with speaking until she was about 4. As far as we can tell she doesn't have any areas where she's highly gifted. Definitely not reading and writing. Maybe math.

[Argent]

Everyone here discussing the autism, and I just want to know how to spent all those extra skill points you got from playing the game with "handicap effects."

[Femme]

What an informative thread Thank you for doing this! It's so important for people to better understand autism and mental health, as I admit I have a lot of learning to do as well.

 

I have a question for you!

 

There's someone I am close to who might be on the spectrum, however she refuses to see a doctor or talk to anyone other than me about it. She believes that life as it is now might be affected negatively once she knows exactly what condition she has and is forced into treatment or medication, even though I told her that she won't be forced to do anything and she will always have a choice in whatever medical treatment or therapy is prescribed.

 

Basically, she doesn't want her life to change even though I'm trying to convince her that it would be better for her and her family if she knew exactly what her condition is, so that she and her family better understands how to help her, interact with her, and what to say or avoid saying, etc.

 

What would you say to such a person who is avoiding being diagnosed?

[Kaymyth]

Hi, Manavortex!

 

I have several friends who are at various points on the spectrum, as well as a 4-year-old nephew.  And you're in good company here on the Shard, too; we have a number of members who are autistic, too.

 

You might eventually want to ask staff to move this over to the AMA sub-board.  Yes, we actually have an entire board for Ask Me Anything threads.  Quiver started a trend last year.

[Mashadar Mistborn]

And I'm another aspie. Your description is very accurate.

Edited January 6, 2016 by Mashadar Mistborn

[Stormgate]

My family thinks I might have very mild Asbergers, but when we asked the doctor, he basically said that it wouldn't really affect my life either way, since I am moderately okay with social interactions and stuff. However, I am still curious. Is there anything like a test that I can give myself to see if I might be on the spectrum?

[Mashadar Mistborn]

My family thinks I might have very mild Asbergers, but when we asked the doctor, he basically said that it wouldn't really affect my life either way, since I am moderately okay with social interactions and stuff. However, I am still curious. Is there anything like a test that I can give myself to see if I might be on the spectrum?

I can't think of one right now. You can always look up a list of characteristics and check your own traits against the list. I don't know if that  helps.

[Young Bard]

I'm curious. Have you seen movies with people with autism or something similar? (For example, Rain Man is the first one that comes to my mind.) If you have, do you feel that it accurately portrays what autism can be like for some people?

 

Honestly, I suspect I might have Asbergers and/or OCD, though I've never been tested formally.

 

 

Is there anything like a test that I can give myself to see if I might be on the spectrum?

 

There are internet tests for everything, though some are a lot more accurate than others. The only way to be properly diagnosed is to go to a psychiatrist and have him do a test. If you're just curious, then here is one of the more reliable internet ones.

Edited January 6, 2016 by The Young Bard

[Curious Anamaximder]

I'm curious. Have you seen movies with people with autism or something similar? (For example, Rain Man is the first one that comes to my mind.) If you have, do you feel that it accurately portrays what autism can be like for some people?

 

Honestly, I suspect I might have Asbergers and/or OCD, though I've never been tested formally.

 

 

 

There are internet tests for everything, though some are a lot more accurate than others. The only way to be properly diagnosed is to go to a psychiatrist and have him do a test. If you're just curious, then here is one of the more reliable internet

ones.

I got a 40, and I am not surprised.

[manavortex]

Hullo everyone, 

thank you for the nice welcome - I will probably dismiss the Shardblade now

 

Hey warriormark16, 

so say we all!

 

Hey EagleOfTheForestPath, 

Big hurrah for neurologic diagnostics..

 

 

Well, they have a somewhat high cut-set - for me it was the other way around.

 

Just to test this hypothesis: what are your feelings about spaying?   (and, yes, I hate myself for thinking of this joke, so since I'm already hating myself I figured I might as well just post it too)

 

 

I like the idea, both of my cats are spayed. I don't hate you, though, if that makes you feel better.

 

Hey Anamaximder, 

In fact, you already are.

 

Hey Stormgate, 

On the topic of social interaction, I get the idea that social interaction for you is more like communicating like this, sans emoticons. Obviously you don't have to read the words you hear, but is it similar? 

Yes - very much. I find speech-communication far more exhausting than chatting! My husband says that it's exactly the other way around for him, which makes me feel bad for him at times... he's reading Mistborn for more than two weeks now!

 

Hey Shardbearer (which shard?), 

My autistic son is appears to have hyperlexia, which is a heightened ability for reading and writing.

Your son sounds a lot like me there. If you want to do him a favour, you could start teaching him other languages (or giving him the means to do it himself). It's something I regret not having done myself. Languages come to me fairly easily, which makes it all the more annoying that I'm by now far too lazy to make myself learn them.

 

It should be pointed out that not all austistic people are savants or highly skilled in certain areas.

If your daughter is really autistic, then I'm fairly certain that she'll surprise you one day. Another thing that gets often confused with autism is a short attention span / some form of ADD-ish, which is sort of a filtering problem on its own. 

But to stay with the pen and paper RP-metaphor, she has a lot of character creation points which have to go somewhere one day.

 

Hey Argent, 

Everyone here discussing the autism, and I just want to know how to spent all those extra skill points you got from playing the game with "handicap effects."

I recommend languages, crafting skills (leather and woodworking, for example), knowledge skills or arts! Also, loving your sig!

 

Hey Femme, 

What would you say to such a person who is avoiding being diagnosed?

 

I would point out to them that I was in a similar situation (and thus qualified to talk about it), and gaining clarity about what was - or was not - "different" with me has been a huge help for me. I've always put myself under a ton of pressure because I felt that with the gifts I had I should be able to be far more successful at, like, everything, than I actually was, and I kept struggling to enjoy "normal" recreational activities, finding them rather exhausting. After my diagnose I knew that I was not somehow failing at life - which is how I felt, because I saw everyone else do it more easily. 

Also I would make a note about that the diagnosis not changing anything on itself. It will open a few doors that are locked now, like getting medication or therapy (which aren't accessible when you don't have the sufficient writ that entitles you to getting them, at least not in Germany), but nobody has ever tried to patronise me because I am autistic, so the choice was always mine. 

I hope that helps you - if not, feel free to have her contact me. 

 

Hey Kaymyth, 

I'm running what I call a "support guild" on ESO - half of our members are autistic, and the other half has anxiety issues. We keep two neurotypicals around for the quota though.  

I'm not sure if it is best practice to move the thread, though - then we'd have two! That somehow makes my skin itch.

 

Hi Mashadar, 

given that you're a Mistborn, can you burn anything? If yes, what? 

 

Hey Stormgate, 

Yeah, my guess would be the lists as well. What you could try was to find a person who works with autistic people (children or grown-ups) - since my company specialises in autistic employees, they have coaches who help us with things like going to a new office for the first time and the like, and my coach says that she can almost always tell if someone is on the spectrum. 

 

Hello young Bard (can I say Bard?), 

Have you seen movies with people with autism or something similar? (For example, Rain Man is the first one that comes to my mind.) If you have, do you feel that it accurately portrays what autism can be like for some people?

The guy from Rain Man obviously is a savant - he doesn't portray the average autistic person very well, much like Jasnah would be a poor representative for the average Roshar female, she's just too exceptional. My favorite Aspie is Sheldon Cooper (Yes, his actor said he wasn't autistic, but I call chull-dung on that one.) I've actually gone to university with several people like him. Without the canned laughter, the Big Bang Theory would be a documentation about the autistic spectrum.

I also liked "As good as it gets", although I suppose that guy wasn't necessarily autistic. But did anyone else notice how he'd had to change "always look on the bright side of your life" so that the number of syllables matched?

 

Looking forward to spending more time here. It's always awesome to bump into people who actually understand what I'm so excited about.

 

See you in the library! 

 

[Stormgate]

I'm curious. Have you seen movies with people with autism or something similar? (For example, Rain Man is the first one that comes to my mind.) If you have, do you feel that it accurately portrays what autism can be like for some people?

 

Honestly, I suspect I might have Asbergers and/or OCD, though I've never been tested formally.

 

 

 

There are internet tests for everything, though some are a lot more accurate than others. The only way to be properly diagnosed is to go to a psychiatrist and have him do a test. If you're just curious, then here is one of the more reliable internet ones.

Do you think the test you provided would work for someone who is 17? It says adult test, and I'm not sure it will.

[Voidus]

I'm curious. Have you seen movies with people with autism or something similar? (For example, Rain Man is the first one that comes to my mind.) If you have, do you feel that it accurately portrays what autism can be like for some people?

 

Honestly, I suspect I might have Asbergers and/or OCD, though I've never been tested formally.

 

 

 

There are internet tests for everything, though some are a lot more accurate than others. The only way to be properly diagnosed is to go to a psychiatrist and have him do a test. If you're just curious, then here is one of the more reliable internet ones.

I hit a 40, though I'm relatively sure I don't hit the spectrum. (Despite having almost every typical trait ) I'm just a very anxious, awkward introvert, genius. And modest too.

[Curious Anamaximder]

Today I was diagnosed with Aspergers!!!

[Meg]

Hi Manavortex,

greetings from Germany as well and thank you very much for sharing your experiences and knowledge with us. I've wondered sometimes myself if I'd be 'slightly autistic' or something similar because of my utterly bad abilities in social interaction. I never dared asking a doctor about it, though. Out of curiosity I've done the test the Young Bard linked and got a 45 (though hopefully I did understand all those questions correctly ). Unfortunately there's no area I'm especially good with. I do prefer written communication over talking and sometimes similarities or connections just jump at me when at other times I have to struggle for the easiest things (though I tend to blame MS on those faults).

See you!

Greetings

Meg

[manavortex]

Hello everyone,

Quote If you're just curious, then here is one of the more reliable internet ones.

I score 41 myself.

Hey Stormgate,

Quote Do you think the test you provided would work for someone who is 17? It says adult test, and I'm not sure it will.

I'd think that that's "children" as opposed to "not-children". My husband often tells me that I am treating children "wrong" because I basically treat them like people with less experience who aren't very good at things like making abstract connections and the like. However, children themselves have never-ever complained, and the kid says that he sometimes doesn't get me, but he wouldn't want me to be any kind of different towards him. So I guess you qualify.

Hey Voidus,

QuoteI hit a 40, though I'm relatively sure I don't hit the spectrum. (Despite having almost every typical trait ) I'm just a very anxious, awkward introvert, genius. And modest too.

Yes, modesty. It's an important trait to have. So important that you must make sure to inform everyone about it! How would they ever guess, otherwise?

For me, "being on the spectrum" means that you have a brain that works in a certain way. Before I was diagnosed I had a honorary members' badge in the autism club, because I got along with those so well. It's only when people find that they don't fit in with society that they go and see someone to sign their writ of eligibility.

Hey Anamaximder,

yay, congratulations! Let me be teach you our secret handshake!

Hey Meg,

I didn't try to ignore you, the forum just hid your reply to me!

Quote

Unfortunately there's no area I'm especially good with. I do prefer written communication over talking and sometimes similarities or connections just jump at me when at other times I have to struggle for the easiest things (though I tend to blame MS on those faults).

Well, that connections thing might be a thing, but - maybe you just haven't discovered your talent yet? Your Devotion waits, chose your Path! \o/

*waves*

Edited January 7, 2016 by manavortex

[Curious Anamaximder]

Hey Anamaximder,

yay, congratulations! Let me be teach you our secret handshake!

Thanks, manavortex!

[Meg]

Hey Meg,

I didn't try to ignore you, the forum just hid your reply to me!

Well, that connections thing might be a thing, but - maybe you just haven't discovered your talent yet? Your Devotion waits, chose your Path! \o/

*waves*

.

Hi manavortex,

.

Thanks for your answer. It might be already too late for discoveries.

.

I see, I've got a (bad? ) reputation. So be it.

.

*wave*

Meg

[Mistrunner]

Welcome to the Shard, Manavortex! It looks like you'll fit right in.

 

There are internet tests for everything, though some are a lot more accurate than others. The only way to be properly diagnosed is to go to a psychiatrist and have him do a test. If you're just curious, then here is one of the more reliable internet ones.

I scored a 36.   Huh.

 

Speaking of kind of such, I've suspected for a while I have either ADD or ADHD, seeing as I fit almost all the symptoms, but I've never been formally tested.