Chaos Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 Well, I'm male, but like many other guys who posted in this thread, I'm not the stereotypical "masculine" guy. That image is really false. Sure, there are those very athletic men. But I think it's a shame that culture seems intent in its obsession of male "strength," and that they can't show emotion because they wouldn't be strong. That's dumb and extremely dangerous, because it can often mean that depressed men just... never get help. It's horrible. The gender stereotypes are so weird. I'm awful with cars, and am not really a handyman (unless you count tech troubleshooting). I love to cook, though admittedly the things I cook are predominantly meat related. I like cleaning. I also have a ton of female friends. In fact, my friend pool is totally dominated by women. I'm just that guy that gets along better with girls than he does with guys, just as I know many girls who get along better with guys. Still it seems that men who have more female friends than male friends is pretty uncommon. At my eventual wedding, I'll definitely have girls on my side of the bridal party I don't know why I get along better with girls than guys. It wasn't like this during high school, but in college on, it was. It might be because whenever I talk to guys, we talk about things, and not ourselves. With girls, I feel a lot more comfortable about talking about relationships, and I feel like I learn more about them. There's a depth there that I often feel lacking in male friendships... It also could be that I react severely against male douchebags. You know the ones, who are arrogant and just think they are always right, and warp everything around their own beliefs. My dad was like that, and I see men like that. The ones who always claim to be "strong." Let me tell you, true strength is not by pushing people away and shaping everything the world gives you into your worldview. The best people are the ones who listen and can understand other people. And with that, real strength comes from being you, and being kind. You don't need to fit some stereotype, but just discover what you are comfortable as. Gender stereotypes and roles are silly. It makes me really happy how my brother is raising his daughter with giving her typical "boy" toys to play with, like trucks and vehicles. She can have adorable princess stuff, but that fire truck makes cool noises and drives by itself, so why would you not want that too? Am I the only one who's gonna mention the Captain from Stardust? It's been a while, so I can't remember much, but he was rather outside the stereotypes. That captain was hilarious. Love him. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delightful Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 Gender stereotypes and roles are silly. It makes me really happy how my brother is raising his daughter with giving her typical "boy" toys to play with, like trucks and vehicles. She can have adorable princess stuff, but that fire truck makes cool noises and drives by itself, so why would you not want that too? On a similar note: I saw a young girl the other day, wearing a pink fairy/princess/ballerina skirt, a rock'n'roll T-shirt and a leather jacket. It was awesome and adorable. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kestrel Posted July 7, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) Feminism isn't about gender equality, its about female rights. Gender is a set of tools you get when born. Not being able to get used to them is a weakness, not a strength. Stereotypes are for weak-minded slaves of society. I'm for equality in strength, not weakness. Bring it on! In the beginning, yes. But now, not exactly. It is still about raising society's views on women, but also letting society know that there is no such thing as "manliness" so to speak.For example, lowering the body expectations for both men and women. Not all men are toned, pin-up, sportsy guys that the majority women want, and not all women are skinny, small, but busty like the majority of men want. These "perfect people" are only seen in Photoshopped photos of celebrities in makeup. Also, pointing out the fact that men can be hurt and abused by women, which society seems to think can't happen. When a man is abused, they're laughed at, called weak, fake, etc. If they try to call the help hotlines, they're accused of pranking. Yes, this is a real problem that feminism tries to solve. When a boy got taken advantage of by a 40 year old Cowboys cheerleader, the men commented on the story saying that "he should feel lucky" or "you can't abuse the willing." It was the feminists who stepped in to help. Sex is what you are born with. Gender is who you are. Edited July 7, 2015 by LarkoftheRiver 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
navybrandt Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 So, some gender stereotypes have a bit of truth to them. Girls tend to be smarter; guys tend to be stronger physically. Women are much better at multitasking; men can usually better see the big picture. Women share their feelings while men are more logical. I'm speaking in general terms of course. It's the average and there are always exceptions to the rule. I don't think it's because society makes us that way - at least not completely. Chaos, as far as having girls in your side of the wedding party, it'll take a really special wife to not be jealous about that. I know I'd be jealous if my wife had some special guy friend other than me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Argent Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 So, some gender stereotypes have a bit of truth to them. Girls tend to be smarter; guys tend to be stronger physically. Women are much better at multitasking; men can usually better see the big picture. Women share their feelings while men are more logical. I'm speaking in general terms of course. It's the average and there are always exceptions to the rule. I don't think it's because society makes us that way - at least not completely. Except none of this is true (except the bit about men being physically stronger on average, but that's pure physiology - the things that make you a boy also make you bigger). Or, rather, if any of those are true, it is because of social influences, not because of innate gender differences. I've seen several studies done specifically on the topic of whether one gender is more logical/emotional and whether one is smarter than the other. What you see in the results of those studies is, without exception, that until about 12 years of age (give or take a couple), there is no statistically significant difference between the genders. Then, as social influences start kicking in, girls lean more towards what they are being told to lean against (emotional intelligence, domestic functions, soft sciences, etc), while boys shift towards the "manly" attributes (hidden emotions, aggressive behavior, hard sciences, etc). I feel I should apologize, twice now in a single morning I've singled you out with a direct reply that essentially says "no, you are wrong." It's an unfortunate coincidence, I promise I don't hate your guts On topic, however, I'll remark that it's funny this thread popped up when it did, because I've been thinking about gender a lot these past few days. I've always known that I am а heterosexual cis male, I've never had a reason to doubt that. What I've been wondering lately, however, is what defines me as a male. I don't subscribe to the idea that traditionally masculine interests (sports, cars, one-nighters, brash behavior, etc) define gender, those are social and cultural constructs and should have no control over gender. I am attracted to the "default" female body, but that defines my sexuality, not gender. I dress more or less like men have been dressing for ages, but again, that's cultural. The bottom line is, I have no idea what makes me a male, yet I know I am one. Which, I think, puts me in the "gender is a social construct" camp, which is something I am not entirely thrilled about, something about it doesn't quite ring true with me... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracknut Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 In the beginning, yes. But now, not exactly. It is still about raising society's views on women, but also letting society know that there is no such thing as "manliness" so to speak. For example, lowering the body expectations for both men and women. Not all men are toned, pin-up, sportsy guys that the majority women want, and not all women are skinny, small, but busty like the majority of men want. These "perfect people" are only seen in Photoshopped photos of celebrities in makeup. Also, pointing out the fact that men can be hurt and abused by women, which society seems to think can't happen. When a man is abused, they're laughed at, called weak, fake, etc. If they try to call the help hotlines, they're accused of pranking. Yes, this is a real problem that feminism tries to solve. When a boy got taken advantage of by a 40 year old Cowboys cheerleader, the men commented on the story saying that "he should feel lucky" or "you can't abuse the willing." It was the feminists who stepped in to help. Sex is what you are born with. Gender is who you are. Excuses!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delightful Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 Excuses!!Uh what?Argent, just out of curiosity, what do you mean by the "default" female body? And yeah, I'm trying now to define what gender *is* beyond societal constructs, but I'm finding it hard to pin down exactly. There is something to it, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracknut Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 Uh what? Argent, just out of curiosity, what do you mean by the "default" female body? And yeah, I'm trying now to define what gender *is* beyond societal constructs, but I'm finding it hard to pin down exactly. There is something to it, though. idk that just sounded right! btw how old was that boy? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kestrel Posted July 7, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) Excuses!!This isn't the 1980s anymore.Also, if you're gonna counter me, have something that's more than one word. The kid was 13-14 range. If you're going to try to say that he liked it, then I'm sorry I'm about to go off on you. Edited July 7, 2015 by LarkoftheRiver Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracknut Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 I won't say that he liked it. I'll say that 9 out of 10 boys that age would pay for it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaymyth Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 IM GOING TO DO THAT NOW THANK YOU. Hah! I'll have to tell zir that zie's no longer the only self-identified Fabulous Monster in the world. I suspect there will be a victory dance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kestrel Posted July 7, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 I won't say that he liked it. I'll say that 9 out of 10 boys that age would pay for it.um. I bet you're also one of those people who want to teach women to be prude rather than teach men not to abuse.Goodbye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracknut Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 um. I bet you're also one of those people who want to teach women to be prude rather than teach men not to abuse. Goodbye. Nope I'm not but you are all knowing 16 year old girl who doesn't even knows what gender "they" is so goodbye to you as well. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaymyth Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 Nope I'm not but you are all knowing 16 year old girl who doesn't even knows what gender "they" is so goodbye to you as well. The correct pronoun here would be "zie". 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracknut Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 The correct pronoun here would be "zie". First timer so excuse me. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kestrel Posted July 7, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 The amount of respect you have for someone's identity is.. Baffelingly low actually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracknut Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 Respect must be earned not demanded. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) um. I bet you're also one of those people who want to teach women to be prude rather than teach men not to abuse. Goodbye. Be nice and give people the benefit of the doubt. Be respectful. Nope I'm not but you are all knowing 16 year old girl who doesn't even knows what gender "they" is so goodbye to you as well. That's incredibly offensive, and you should apologize immediately. You should also be more respectful. Everyone: Take it down a few notches, and be very respectful to one another. I will not tolerate anything less. EDIT: Respect must be earned not demanded. Tough crap, you will respect others on this forum. Edited July 7, 2015 by Chaos 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracknut Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) Excuse me for not tip toeing around sensitive stuff but I can't take false accusations with cool head.Well you're the boss on these forums and all so I understand where you coming from about "everyone respecting everyone" but I have right to respect whoever I deem worthy of it and your opinion on the matter is unimportant. Edited July 7, 2015 by Cracknut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 Excuse me for not tip toeing around sensitive stuff but I can't take false accusations with cool head. Yes, they should also apologize, but maybe instead of causing fights, go step away. If you think someone has wronged you, be the better person with excessive sweetness. Or walk away. Do not escalate things. And you should be sensitive to others, because it can be extremely hurtful. You best apologize and be respectful. This is your warning. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracknut Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 Can I get just banned or something? Because I'm not apologizing. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubix Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 Can I get just banned or something? Because I'm not apologizing. Done. Get out. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kestrel Posted July 7, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 I will apologize, right here, right now. Sorry for falsely accusing you. However, I am stepping away for a bit because I actually have to go somewhere. Just because you don't agree with my gender choices doesn't mean you can't respect them. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) Can I get just banned or something? Because I'm not apologizing. Happily. You will see that we are very committed to having 17th Shard be a place for respectful discussion, and it's obvious you don't want that. (Note everyone in my post when I said there are some people who just can't listen? Yeah, don't do that. That makes you a jerk.) EDIT: I will apologize, right here, right now. Sorry for falsely accusing you. However, I am stepping away for a bit because I actually have to go somewhere. Just because you don't agree with my gender choices doesn't mean you can't respect them. Thanks, Lark. That's how it is done Cracknut. It really isn't that hard... Edited July 7, 2015 by Chaos 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blaze1616 Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) To cool people down, here's a funny gender-fluid joke I saw on my Book of Faces feed yesterday (I think it was from Tumblr...): A gender fluid teen, in speaking with his father one day, identifies as the father's son. Father: "So you're my son today?" Teen: "Yeah, it's a son day." Father: "That's funny, I thought it was Saturday." Edited July 7, 2015 by Blaze1616 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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