The Knights Awkward

[Staphylococcus she/her]

Turns around and stumbles back into the room, almost tripping over her own foot. "Uh, oh, can I join, then? I, um, really like sleeping! And purposeless quests too!"

 

(Is purposeless even a word? Too lazy to Google.)

[JPine]

On 5/21/2015 at 6:42 PM, Mistrunner said:

Speak again the hallowed oaths:

 

Books before friends.

17th Shard before the real world.

Release dates before birthdays.

 

This guild is for those of us who will pledge our allegiance to the cause of... well... being awkward. Our best friends are fictional characters. We stay up late at night, watching the comforting blue glow of our various devices as we look up obscure things on The Coppermind. We read and reread books for traces of Hoid and various awesomeness.

 

The Knights Awkward must rise again.

 

The orders are as follows (spoiler tags for length)

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Referencecaller

            I will read all Brandon, even if it is not Cosmere

            I will remember WoB's that have been forgotten

            I will link to all my sources, even if they are obscure

 

Theoryweavers

            I will speculate even if there is nothing to speculate upon

            I will ask the questions which have not been asked

            I will connect that which has not been connected

           

Oregonbreakers

            I will not fail to recognize the Reconerverse in spite of the Cosmere

            I will ask the Question in order to answer it

            I will attempt to kill Nighthound so long as he lives

 

Alleywatcher

            I will offer cookies to those who have not been spiked initiated

            I will sustain the knowledge of Hemalurgy because it is fun

            I will seek to avoid being avoided in dark alleys

 

Forumlurker

            I will read that which has not been read

            I will stay silent amongst many words

            I will enjoy without being upvoted

 

Spambringer

            I will B Ł Â Ç K M A G ï C love charm? marriage problems? REPORTED

 

Quipsmiths (Herald: Hoid)

I will make fun of the unmakefunnable
I shall be frustrating when people hate me for it
I will not reuse jokes on pain of being dunked in a highstorm

 

Shipwards

I will ship the unshippable

 

Theorydancers

 

I will remember WOBs that have been forgotten
I shall refuse to have a social life as long as Realmatic Theory is undiscovered
I shall go to every signing and search out evidence

 

 Convertshapers

I will convert those who are not

I will convince those without to buy two copies

I will loan my extras to anyone without

Rolesmiths

 I will bind others together with fictional narratives

I will battle on, even if my fictional characters fall around me
I shall raise my strength stat to defend those without, even at the cost of my resources

Thanks to Curiosity, Winter Cloud, and BramFinem!

 

I pledge my service!!! I am everything you just described! Jake The Awkward has arose! 

 

[JPine]

oh, I wanna be Rolesmiths

[Allomancy she/her]

Ally crawls in "Ak. Just survive a bout of final projects. Missing ... Too... Much... Reading... Time..." But more... Are coming."

Ally falls dramatically to the floor. 

A few seconds later she sits up and says " okay, it's also a Monday. That explains it better."

[Sparkrunner he/him]

Books before friends.

17th Shard before the real world.

Release dates before birthdays.

 

I will speculate even if there is nothing to speculate

I will ask the questions which have not been asked

I will connect that which has not been connected

 

I will write nonsense and make it sensible-sense.

I will poke holes in your theory.

I will stay up 'till 1:59 AM to finish Sanderson novels.

 

The Knights Awkward Must Stand Again.

 

Permission to add this to my signature?

[Tesh Any pronouns]

This has the last three months of my life written all over it.

Books before social life

Sanderson before the real world

Release dates before birthdays

 

I couldn't resist tweaking it a bit. 

[Mistrunner]

Mistrunner wakes up. "SnsdklsgAAAA," she says coherently, realizing how much time has passed.

@Cluny the Scourge, of course you can add it to your signature! The Knights Awkward pass up no opportunities for self-advertising.

Welcome, @Tesh Kholin and Cluny. Please enjoy some complimentary bookies.

[Tesh Any pronouns]

Thank you.

[Shqueeves]

Books before friends. 

17th Shard before the real world. 

Release dates before birthdays. 

[JPine]

Hey, Didn't understand this earlier. NOw I get it. Just read way of kings. Knights Radiant. Ok, gotcha

 

 

 

(ok, that was akward)

[Returned Elantrian]

"Books before social life

Sanderson before the real world

Release dates before birthdays

I will convert those who are not

I will convince those without to buy two copies

I will loan my extras to anyone without"

Hey RubiksCube

[Ataraxian Wist she/her]

Sazedezas counted out four dice for a Physique roll, including his original two and two from his Traits. He rolled the dice, letting out a cry of surprise and joy as he saw two fives and two Nudges written on the upward faces of the dice. His roll having succeeded, he pushed open the huge doors and strode pompously into the hall.

He bowed low, a sign of respect that he knew would qualify as a Positive Circumstance, potentially gaining him the tenth and final Charm die he would need for his upcoming roll.

"Great Mistrunner" he said, rolling ten dice for Charm. "I wish to become one of you, a Knight Awkward. Additionally, I wish to belong to the Order of the Rolesmiths."

Sazedezas took a knee, and began his recitation of the Oaths:

"Books before friends.

17th Shard before the real world.

Release dates before birthdays.

 

I will bind others together with fictional narratives.

I will battle on, even if my fictional characters fall around me.

I shall raise my strength stat to defend those without, even at the cost of my resources."

Sazedezas rose to his feet, exploding with anticipation, and awaited Mistrunner's response.

Edited July 30, 2017 by Sazedezas
typos

[Dustbringer12 he/him]

Your charm roll gets two threes, three twos, four ones, and one nudge.  The irregular pattern is slightly awkward, but has a nice result.

[CarolaDavar she/her]

"New person??" Carola shouts from the other room. The runs in, but trips as she enters and slides a few inches across the floor.

She raises her hand and waves,"Welcome! Enjoy the plentiful bookies!"

[Bort he/him]

*SLAM*

The gently rocking cupboard, that had been sitting rocking in the corner of the library for the past few years, hit the floor with a muffled yelp. The cracks between the doors began to sprout white fur and creak alarmingly, until with a loud crack (Which caused several of the Knights in the library to turn and yell "Shush!"), the lock on the door snapped, and the cupboard doors sprang open.

Out poured a mass of white hair that sounded like it was cursing in several languages, rolling to a stop a short distance away. "Ha!" The mass of fur shouted (again, several Knights shushed the furball), and a pair of skinny, wrinkly legs poked out of the bottom of the ball. A pair of arms that went very well with the skinny, wrinkly legs popped out, one from each side, and slowly started the nigh impossible task of putting the hair back under control.

Several hours later, a final swipe of the hands pushed the last of the beard into place to reveal the face of Botholomew the Blind, looking very pleased with himself.

[Bladex454]

I have found the third oath of the Shipwards in my long hiatus.

`I will accept even those ships I hate, so long as it's right.'

Edited September 8, 2017 by Bladex454

[Caesura she/her]

*shuffles feet awkwardly*

...I don't suppose you're looking for any more members?

[Bladex454]

Any wo/man is welcome to join the Order, regardless of aptitude or upbringing.

[Caesura she/her]

"Books before friends

17th Shard before the real world

Release dates before birthdays

I will read that which has not been read

I will stay silent amongst many words

I will enjoy without being upvoted"

[Bladex454]

The other day, a member of the Quipsmiths was passing by the Shipward Quarters and asked me if I shipped Jasnah and Shallan. I, being one to accept any and all ships, of course said yes. He responded by sighing audibly and shaking his head in dismay and said: "But, Blade did you not know? That ship has sank!" 

I, was of course, forced to laugh despite it's crassness.

[NaeAta]

cloaked in darkness the figure enters Mistrunner's throne room/library.

with a sweeping bow the cloaked figure offers the hilt of her sword.

"to you m'lady I will give my sword and oaths if you would have them."

 

Books before friends.

17th Shard before the real world.

Release dates before birthdays.

 

I will make fun of the unmakefunnable

I shall be frustrating when people hate me for it

I shall not reuse jokes on pain of being dunked in a highstorm

[Mistrunner]

Mistrunner arises from her throne. "Welcome, @NaeAta. We must welcome our newest member. Bring forth the palanquin!" A moment of awkward silence ensues.

"Do we have a palanquin? I don't think we have a palanquin," she mutters, staring blearily at the ceiling.

[GeneralHZRD he/him]

A lone form enters from the dark night air outside, He kneels before the throne of the great Mistrunner.

"I beseech thee, oh great Mistrunner, Leader of The Knights Awkward! Grant me entrance into this great brotherhood, that I may become the most powerful Quipsmith ever to join your ranks. Give me entrance and I will swear my loyalty to you and The Knights Awkward from this day forward and forevermore!"

Slowly he looks up, "I must however confess, I went to the Assassin's in Technicolor before you. But it turns out, there was nobody home... awkward."  Suddenly he realizes, Mistrunner's throne is empty, "Storms, I did it again!, I really need to pay better attention."

 

"Books before friends.

17th Shard before the real world.

Release dates before birthdays."

 

"I will make fun of the unmakefunnable

I shall be frustrating when people hate me for it

I will not reuse jokes on pain of being dunked in a highstorm."

 

[GeneralHZRD he/him]

Slowly the figure looked around the large open chamber, noticing for the first time the forms slumped around the room. Some had crumbs falling from their mouth, others hunched over books as if in thought. “What happened here?” He spoke, “what is this enchantment that lies over these people?” 

“Surely @Mistrunner has not fallen prey to this curse as well, if so that would make this incredibly awkward.”

[CarolaDavar she/her]

"Ah!' Carola strides down the ceiling, Awkwardblade held - well, awkwardly, "We seem  to have a newcomer!"

Welcome", says Lavala, "I hope you enjoy it here"