Question 5

[Voidus]

The books are always better, I wish more directors were Epic fantasy nerds.

[Edgedancer he/him]

The books are always better, I wish more directors were Epic fantasy nerds.

I wish more people were period.

 

Well then now comes the point were I feel obligated to create a book themed Epic, maybe call him librarian or something...

[Kobold King he/him]

There are some people—gazelle or otherwise—who would have focused on the hat. It commanded one's attention, sitting atop his head in resplendent green, ringed with gaudy stars of fool's gold. The Doctor had met some of those people. Traveled with them. But he was not one of them. 

 

The stranger's coat was speckled with blood. Dark crimson patches, some of them turning brown, crusted over and flaking. A bullet hole bespoke some sort regeneration ability, but most patches were nowhere near the hole. That could mean one of two things. 

 

One, this stranger was a butcher. Not The Butcher, the Time Lord responsible for the creation of meatballs, but an ordinary human butcher who had acquired a regeneration ability through illicit means and spent his time butchering sheep and cattle. In a tweed jacket. Without an apron. 

 

Two, this was a butcher of a much darker persuasion. 

 

"Oh, you're not a patient man, are you?" The Doctor strode forward, anger burning through his every word. "Tell me, were you patient with those people you killed? The people who put that blood on your jacket? Unless you're a butcher—and a very poor one—tell me, who put that blood there, and why haven't you washed it off?" 

 

"They were in my way." The stranger had leaned away slightly, but hadn't yielded an inch. He smiled coldly. "And now they are not." 

 

"In your way, were they?" The Doctor seized him by the collar and lowered his voice to a whisper. "Do you know what happens to those who are in mine?" 

 

Something pressed against the Doctor's side, and he didn't have to look to know it was the barrel of a gun. 

 

The stranger smiled. 

 

The Doctor returned it.

 

Still giving his most malicious smile, the Doctor took several steps back. The man in the bloodstained coat had not come alone--several men stood around him, wielding rifles and fixing the intruders with flat stares.

 

Stares a little too flat, even for hired muscle or mercenaries.

 

"I'd ask where you got your goons," he said to the stranger. "But I suspect I wouldn't like to hear the answer."

 

"That's a common enough reaction," the raggedy professor sniffed. "Fortunately I don't need for you to agree with me. You merely have to stand still while I decide whether or not to add you to my army."

 

The man stalked through the jungle, hand against a large pistol by his side and his eyes narrowed. "Doctor, do you know these people?"

 

"Well, this is my associate Clara," the Doctor began, "These other people are new to me--"

 

"Not you," the professor snapped. "You!" His finger pointed at the beaming woman in the colorful prom dress. "Did you bring these people here?"

 

"Nopity nope," the woman sang cheerily. Her mouth opened once more, but the Doctor interrupted.

 

"Wait," he cut in, "You're a doctor?"

 

She responded with a wide and sweeping curtsy, which shed a phenomenal amount of glitter onto the forest floor. Nathan spoke up for her. "This is Doctor Funtimes," he explained solemnly, "I'm Traveler, and this is Emperor Lightwards."

 

'Emperor' Lightwards didn't take kindly to the introduction. "If they're here then they already know who we are, Traveler," he hissed irritably. "I want to know who sent them and for what purpose."

 

"Nobody sent us," the Doctor retorted. "We just stumbled across this place, didn't we Clara?"

 

"That about sums it up, yeah."

 

"You stumbled across us?" Lightwards said flatly. "You were simply meandering about, and found yourselves in my capital without warning. My capital, which floats thousands of feet above the city. My capital, which is filled to the brim with my scouts, who did not see you until you were already in the direct center of the building."

 

The Doctor shrugged. "Happens to me more than you'd think. I once walked in on Montezuma I while he was using the lavatory."

 

"That does explain a few things," Clara mused. "He wasn't exactly happy to see you when we went."

 

"Well it's hardly my fault 15th century Aztecs hadn't invented the 'occupied' sign..."

 

Doctor Funtimes at this point fell into a bout of uncontrollable giggling. Nathan was grinning ear to ear, and Lightwards was staring on in bewilderment and growing fury. Only the bland-faced goons of his showed no reaction at all to the conversation.

 

Before the discussion of Montezuma's lavatory habits could progress further, Lightwards turned his back on the intruders, directing his voice to the raptors at all sides. At the sound of his voice, the dinosaurs stiffened at once, bristling with anticipating like sheepdogs at their master's words. These dinosaurs weren't wild by any means--they were owned body, mind, and soul. They stood ready to spring the moment he finished his order.

 

"Kill them," said Lightwards.

[Mailliw73 he/him]

*Cough* 10 pages of Epics for him to recruit and form a minor group with. *Cough*

 

 

While that would be amazing, personally I think there would be quite a few Epics with the same name. I imagine there's probably a dozen or so Scorch's for example.

 

True. Maybe I'll use that.

 

CorpseMaker is recruiting by Having Streetwise search for Epics who use their powers. Then he sends someone to recruit or kill. So The painted fists would work, but does seem kind of silly honestly. It's like the Ghostbloods tattooing themselves. It just doesn't make any sense if you don't want to be found.

 

Yeah, the gloves work a lot better. I'll edit that now.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Still giving his most malicious smile, the Doctor took several steps back. The man in the bloodstained coat had not come alone--several men stood around him, wielding rifles and fixing the intruders with flat stares.

Stares a little too flat, even for hired muscle or mercenaries.

"I'd ask where you got your goons," he said to the stranger. "But I suspect I wouldn't like to hear the answer."

"That's a common enough reaction," the raggedy professor sniffed. "Fortunately I don't need for you to agree with me. You merely have to stand still while I decide whether or not to add you to my army."

The man stalked through the jungle, hand against a large pistol by his side and his eyes narrowed. "Doctor, do you know these people?"

"Well, this is my associate Clara," the Doctor began, "These other people are new to me--"

"Not you," the professor snapped. "You!" His finger pointed at the beaming woman in the colorful prom dress. "Did you bring these people here?"

"Nopity nope," the woman sang cheerily. Her mouth opened once more, but the Doctor interrupted.

"Wait," he cut in, "You're a doctor?"

She responded with a wide and sweeping curtsy, which shed a phenomenal amount of glitter onto the forest floor. Nathan spoke up for her. "This is Doctor Funtimes," he explained solemnly, "I'm Traveler, and this is Emperor Lightwards."

'Emperor' Lightwards didn't take kindly to the introduction. "If they're here then they already know who we are, Traveler," he hissed irritably. "I want to know who sent them and for what purpose."

"Nobody sent us," the Doctor retorted. "We just stumbled across this place, didn't we Clara?"

"That about sums it up, yeah."

"You stumbled across us?" Lightwards said flatly. "You were simply meandering about, and found yourselves in my capital without warning. My capital, which floats thousands of feet above the city. My capital, which is filled to the brim with my scouts, who did not see you until you were already in the direct center of the building."

The Doctor shrugged. "Happens to me more than you'd think. I once walked in on Montezuma I while he was using the lavatory."

"That does explain a few things," Clara mused. "He wasn't exactly happy to see you when we went."

"Well it's hardly my fault 15th century Aztecs hadn't invented the 'occupied' sign..."

Doctor Funtimes at this point fell into a bout of uncontrollable giggling. Nathan was grinning ear to ear, and Lightwards was staring on in bewilderment and growing fury. Only the bland-faced goons of his showed no reaction at all to the conversation.

Before the discussion of Montezuma's lavatory habits could progress further, Lightwards turned his back on the intruders, directing his voice to the raptors at all sides. At the sound of his voice, the dinosaurs stiffened at once, bristling with anticipating like sheepdogs at their master's words. These dinosaurs weren't wild by any means--they were owned body, mind, and soul. They stood ready to spring the moment he finished his order.

"Kill them," said Lightwards.

Ponderment: Would Lightwards be able to reanimate a Time Lord who was for some reason unable to regenerate? Would the rules function much the same way with Time Lords as with Epics because Time Lords are far more powerful than humans, or would he be unable because Time Lord DNA is so much different from human DNA? Edited December 18, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Kobold King he/him]

Ponderment: Would Lightwards be able to reanimate a Time Lord who was for some reason unable to regenerate? Would the rules function much the same way with Time Lords as with Epics because Time Lords are far more powerful than humans, or would he be unable because Time Lord DNA is so much different from human DNA?

 

Depends on whether or not Time Lords can be the recipients of gifted Epic powers. Lightwards is demonstratably capable of reanimating all terrestrial forms of life aside from Epics--a humanoid alien like a Time Lord, while powerful, is nowhere near as different from a human being as an oak tree is, and Lightwards can raise plants. My guess is that Lightwards could raise a Time Lord, though he'd get very few benefits from it.

 

I was going to write further than what I did with Nathan speaking up for the TARDIS crew and helping to get them Funtimes protection, but I figured I should refrain from writing the entire crossover in one sitting.

 

Also, is Aldo the one who accidentally caused the spatial manipulation, or is something more sinister at play...

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Depends on whether or not Time Lords can be the recipients of gifted Epic powers. Lightwards is demonstratably capable of reanimating all terrestrial forms of life aside from Epics--a humanoid alien like a Time Lord, while powerful, is nowhere near as different from a human being as an oak tree is, and Lightwards can raise plants. My guess is that Lightwards could raise a Time Lord, though he'd get very few benefits from it.

I was going to write further than what I did with Nathan speaking up for the TARDIS crew and helping to get them Funtimes protection, but I figured I should refrain from writing the entire crossover in one sitting.

Also, is Aldo the one who accidentally caused the spatial manipulation, or is something more sinister at play...

If anything, it killing and reanimating the Doctor would be a very poor decision on his part. The crowds of weeping Whovians would abandon their hero's commitment to pacifism and wage war upon his murderer.

Oh he will definitely speak up. Lightwards' lack of geeky knowledge may serve the Doctor well.

I'm not entirely sure....

[Kobold King he/him]

If anything, it killing and reanimating the Doctor would be a very poor decision on his part. The crowds of weeping Whovians would abandon their hero's commitment to pacifism and wage war upon his murderer.

Oh he will definitely speak up. Lightwards' lack of geeky knowledge may serve the Doctor well.

I'm not entirely sure....

 

How woefully ironic. Aggressively intellectual Lightwards, meeting his downfall from a branch of knowledge he scorned.

 

My best guess: Mobius has secretly been Missy in disguise this whole time.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

How woefully ironic. Aggressively intellectual Lightwards, meeting his downfall from a branch of knowledge he scorned.

My best guess: Mobius has secretly been Missy in disguise this whole time.

He always scorned romance, too. I wonder how that will come back to bite him.

That almost makes too much sense.

[Newan he/him]

I am one rep away from the Top 50 right now, so here's a baby:

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

Upvoted. You're in.

[Newan he/him]

Yessssssss top fifty!!! Now when people ask if I'm one of the biggest Brandon Sanderson fans in the world, I can say yes! 

 

Whenever I watch Return of the King and it gets to the end of the credits and lists hundreds of names of fans, I imagine my name being in a list of fans at the end of some Sanderson adaptation in the future.  

[Kobold King he/him]

He always scorned romance, too. I wonder how that will come back to bite him.

That almost makes too much sense.

 

Clearly Koschei was the Master all along, and he regenerated into Mobius when Remington wasn't looking.

 

Though that does beg the question of whether Calamity would grant superpowers to a Time Lord.

 

 

I am one rep away from the Top 50 right now, so here's a baby:

 

Welcome to the Top 50. Be warned: 'Tis a silly place, filled with conflict and intrigue. Only the bravest, cleverest, and most strikingly handsome members ever make it to the Top 10. This statement is in no way influenced by the personal situation of the poster.

[Newan he/him]

Clearly Koschei was the Master all along, and he regenerated into Mobius when Remington wasn't looking.

 

Though that does beg the question of whether Calamity would grant superpowers to a Time Lord.

 

 

 

Welcome to the Top 50. Be warned: 'Tis a silly place, filled with conflict and intrigue. Only the bravest, cleverest, and most strikingly handsome members ever make it to the Top 10. This statement is in no way influenced by the personal situation of the poster.

 

I was expecting the current chain of Doctor Who/WHIO crossovers to end with the Tardis exploding and becoming Calamity.  

 

Only the best compliments manage to assuage the egos of both the complimentor and the complimentee.  

[Kobold King he/him]

I was expecting the current chain of Doctor Who/WHIO crossovers to end with the Tardis exploding and becoming Calamity.  

 

Only the best compliments manage to assuage the egos of both the complimentor and the complimentee.  

 

 

That's brilliant...

 

It takes a keen and witty intellect to compliment a suave fellow like yourself.  

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Clearly Koschei was the Master all along, and he regenerated into Mobius when Remington wasn't looking.

Though that does beg the question of whether Calamity would grant superpowers to a Time Lord.

Welcome to the Top 50. Be warned: 'Tis a silly place, filled with conflict and intrigue. Only the bravest, cleverest, and most strikingly handsome members ever make it to the Top 10. This statement is in no way influenced by the personal situation of the poster.

Just when I thought Earth under Calamity couldn't become any more of a Crapsack World than it already is....

Interesting question. Perhaps, though given the apparent laws of gifting, I'm inclined to think Calamity would assume a Time Lord was powerful enough already. Then again, if I'm right and Calamity is both sentient and malevolent, then it might claim a Time Lord as it's own just for kicks and giggles. Unless, of course, Calamity is only capable of affecting humans, in which case malevolence is a moot point.

Bravest. Pfft. He hasn't even shipped Lightwards with Möbius yet. Then again, he did ship her with Koschei before knowing what a truly terrifying couple they'd be, so....

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

This Sub-Forum has 11,505 total posts

 

TwiLyght has 3,373 posts making up 29% of the total posts in this Forum. This is 85% of her total Posts (3,930)

 

Kobold has 2,447 posts or 21% of the total. This is also 53% of his total post count for the Site (4,1614).

 

That's 50% of the Sub-Forum between them.

 

Edgedancer comes next with 1,769 Posts, or 15%. This is 68% of his total Posts.

 

Voidus has another 1,354 posts, making up 11%. THis is only 39% of his total.

 

These 4 make up 75% of the Sub-Forum.

 

Mailliw has 802 posts, giving him 7% of the Forum. This is a mere 28% of his total posts.

 

The rest of the players have more posts in other forums, like Sanderson Elimination, so I can’t do their stats.

*All post counts were taken about 10 minutes ago, which means that everyone has already posted a good hundred times since. Seriously guys, write slower!

Edited December 19, 2014 by The Only Joe

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

This Sub-Forum has 11,505 total posts

TwiLyght has 3,373 posts making up 29% of the total posts in this Forum. This is 85% of her total Posts (3,930)

Kobold has 2,447 posts or 21% of the total. This is also 53% of his total post count for the Site (4,1614).

That 50% of the Sub-Forum between them.

Edgedancer comes next with 1,769 Posts, or 15%. This is 68% of his total Posts.

Voidus has another 1,354 posts, making up 11%. THis is only 39% of his total.

These 4 make up 75% of the Sub-Forum.

Mailliw has 802 posts, giving him 7% of the Forum. This is a mere 28% of his total posts.

The rest of the players have more posts in other forums, like Sanderson Elimination, so I can’t do their stats.

*All post counts were taken about 10 minutes ago, which means that everyone has already posted a good hundred times since. Seriously guys, write slower!

Write slower? Never?

Seriously, though, I post here that much? I believe it, but still.

[Mailliw73 he/him]

This Sub-Forum has 11,505 total posts[/size]

 

TwiLyght has 3,373 posts making up 29% of the total posts in this Forum. This is 85% of her total Posts (3,930)[/size]

 

Kobold has 2,447 posts or 21% of the total. This is also 53% of his total post count for the Site (4,1614).[/size]

 

That 50% of the Sub-Forum between them.[/size]

 

Edgedancer comes next with 1,769 Posts, or 15%. This is 68% of his total Posts.[/size]

 

Voidus has another 1,354 posts, making up 11%. THis is only 39% of his total.[/size]

 

These 4 make up 75% of the Sub-Forum.[/size]

 

Mailliw has 802 posts, giving him 7% of the Forum. This is a mere 28% of his total posts.[/size]

 

The rest of the players have more posts in other forums, like Sanderson Elimination, so I can’t do their stats.[/size]

*All post counts were taken about 10 minutes ago, which means that everyone has already posted a good hundred times since. Seriously guys, write slower![/size]

802 posts make up only 7% of this? Wow...

[Kobold King he/him]

Kobold has 2,447 posts or 21% of the total. This is also 53% of his total post count for the Site (4,1614).

 

Like a boss.

 

 

Nice statistical findings, by the way.

[Voidus]

This somehow does not surprise me

[Seonid he/him]

My highest post count is in the Reckoners subforum. 114 of my 210. That's 0.99% of this forum and 54% of my total posts. I feel rather inadequate right now...

 

But no matter. Soon, Edassa shall rise and unseat Oregon, thus taking its rightful place at the pinnacle of 17th Shard post counts.

 

[cackling maniacal laughter]

 

Oops. Sorry about that. I think we were talking about Oregon. Specifically, The Dalles. Who's up next there? Because I'm ready to bring in Arvin on his dragon and toast some pandas as soon as I won't be double posting there.

[Edgedancer he/him]

This somehow does not surprise me

Neither am I to be honest. Now to really impress me Joe has to do the same calculations with our reputation.

My highest post count is in the Reckoners subforum. 114 of my 210. That's 0.99% of this forum and 54% of my total posts. I feel rather inadequate right now...

 

But no matter. Soon, Edassa shall rise and unseat Oregon, thus taking its rightful place at the pinnacle of 17th Shard post counts.

 

[cackling maniacal laughter]

 

Oops. Sorry about that. I think we were talking about Oregon. Specifically, The Dalles. Who's up next there? Because I'm ready to bring in Arvin on his dragon and toast some pandas as soon as I won't be double posting there.

But does Edassa have the same meme army we have?

 

Mostly Kobold I think. The invasion probably isn´t making any big progress until Vondra gets that pig messanger and a good couple of characters are waiting for the reply by Arsenal, no clue what´s up with the Quicksilver people and naturally there´s the option of filler... I might start looking into that.

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

Neither am I to be honest. Now to really impress me Joe has to do the same calculations with our reputation.

 

You have no Idea how long that's been taking me. I've been working on that off and on for the past week, counting the total RP Posts, Planning Posts and Joke Posts, counting the rep for each person in all of them. Over Christmas Break I'll spend a day or four finishing the whole thing. And I'll finish My Elimination Profiles for all past players. And memorize my lines for Midsummer night's Dream and Move the MAG crew away from Luthadel. And ect. ect. ect.

 

How is my Christmas break so full of things that need to be done?

[Newan he/him]

I looked at a few churches in the Dalles, and this one is the best match for the Koschei massacre site.  It's a Mormon church, and it is closest to the description in this post.  It's a pointed, brick building with a steeple.  However, there are a couple of issues.  Mormon steeples don't have crosses, and it isn't on the edge of town.  But I have headcanon for that.  I may have gotten a little bit carried away...

Headcanon:

After Calamity, there was some initial destruction.  Most of the buildings in the Dalles, including most of the churches, are made of wood, so even a minor fire epic could cause a lot of damage.  Maybe the epic had a personal vendetta against churches, or maybe it was just bad luck, but one way or another, most of the churches in the Dalles (along with many of the houses along the southeast end of the city) burned before somebody managed to put the fire epic down.  After the fire, many of the people of the Dalles just left.  They wanted to be with their families, and it just wouldn't be worth it to try to rebuild.  A town as small as the Dalles just didn't seem like it was worth fighting for.  

There were others who refused to leave.  Maybe they had nowhere to go, or maybe they were just stubborn.  People banded together to build new homes for those who had none.  Rather than converting a building near the new center of town to a church, they decided to restore the old one.  It became a multi-denominational church, with a cross on the steeple, but with meetings for those of all faiths.  People of all religions would travel to the edge of town to meet in an old brick church, because to them it was a symbol that there are some things that Epics will never destroy.  

When Koschei the Deathless arrived, they were singing the first verse of How Great Thou Art.  Later verses refer to Christ specifically, but the first verse can apply to anyone's god.  Imagine people of all different faiths, gathering together to praise God.  Epics were considered forces of nature.  Stopping an Epic would be like stopping a storm.  But these people sang together that when they heard the rolling thunder, they would cry out to God, "How great thou art!"  They didn't know that Koschei was coming, that he was going to take their lives, but they had faced others before.  When they saw an Epic, they didn't say, "Why have you forsaken me, God?"  They said, "No matter how powerful you are, God is greater."  Koschei thought he was deathless, but he was wrong.  In the end, he was just another passing storm.  Their faith was what truly couldn't be killed.