Trans Hangout Thread

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

3 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

The big downsides tend to be:

 

1. loss of fertility (not guaranteed, but very likely)
2. breast development is permanent
3. Mood changes and stuff (arguably a downside)

I mean..idrk how i feel abt fertility/infertility atm...

why is permanent breast development a downside?

What mood changes? I'd probably like them 

[Aeoryi she/her]

Also @Usseewa here's some information a transfem friend gave me (note it was written by her, so a lot of the "I" and "you" might seem out of place)

Spoiler

There are two main types of medications transfems get prescribed: estrogen, and anti androgens.

We need to suppress our testosterone to allow for the estrogen to work, and that’s why you will often take AAs.

Now high enough levels of estrogen *can* effectively suppress testosterone, meaning you don’t have to take AAs if your levels are high enough, but you typically are started at lower levels and titrated up to higher ones over time

So what options for E do we have, and what are some common pros and cons:

injections: you take weekly injections of esteogen esters (EV likely) which provide E directly I to your bloodstream. They are relatively cheap, widely regarded to be the most effective, and they start working quite fast. Frankly they are probably just the best option if someone doesn’t care about needles. On the other hand, many people are scared of needles and that could be an issue 

I haven’t taken them, but from what I’ve heard: [CW: needles]

Spoiler

It doesn’t hurt more than a flu shot, but probably with less numbness afterwards, however I have been told that it feels weirder? Is the way I’ll put it, cause the esteogen esters tend to be thicker than water, probably oil consistency

 

You can either inject all the way into the muscle itself, or subcutaneously which is like just below the top few layers of skin

Transdermal E: patches & gel. 

Both these types use E that passes through your skin into your body to do the E thing. Patches are these sticky like big band aid things with E inside them, they need to have good contact with your skin and stay relatively dry when you are putting them on. They are at least water resistant. They release esteogen over time, and you will probably swap them 2 ish times a week. 

Gel or cream is what it says it is. Gel or cream you apply to certain areas of your body and let fully absorb before you like wear clothes or get that body part wet. You have to do this every day, multiple times of your dose/doctor calls for it

Being the same style of E , both are quite solid. Both are very bioavailable and you can get really good results on either. Gel can be a bit inconsistent, and patches can sometimes cause problems if you are very very active a lot

the other main E method is pills

you can either take them orally, or sublingually. basically you take a pill 1 or more times daily and it releases estrogen into you and you get happy. 

Standard pills are oral, you swallow them and they release over time. they get broken down in your liver which makes you get less E than the expected dose, and its not *amazing* for your liver. 

sublingual is when you let it dissolve under your tongue. this gets absorbed, and released faster, and mostly bypasses the liver so its less bad for your liver than oral. as more estrogen is absorbed, you have much higher E levels sublingually than orally. the biggest thing to note is that the release can be a bit spiky (see release curve from study pictured below)

Spoiler

overall pills are simple cheap and effective, they take a bit more time to start with effects than injections or patches from what ive heard anecdotally, but they are still good. the biggest issue with pills from what ive seen is that doctors can be mean or inexperienced and prescribe you very very low doses of pills at the start, which isnt fun. starting on 0.5 mg E sucks from what ive heard, and 1mg is only a bit better, i started with 2mg sublingual and its been fine for me. this is the method i can give the most info on though

anyways: testosterone suppression methods

2 philosiphies:

E monotherapy- only take E, but just take more than enough of it so that the E itself can suppress testosterone. according to transfemscience (who cites research studies) for monotherapy you kinda want your levels to stay above like 250 pg/mol or smth at all times. this is much harder to do with daily E like pills, or gel cause of the fuctuations, and the faacct we slep for ideally 8 hours a night. thus, while still possible on those methods, the main way to do monotherapy is with injections. (another benefit of injections) theoretically taking less medicaitons is more better cause it reduces chances of complications but its likely a very small risk anyways. 

otherwise you will be on an anti androgen to supress T. and even if you are trying monotherapy, you will often start with an AA for a month or so. there are a few options, I only know about spirolactone and Cyproterone. for the others you would have to ask someone else, or look things up about them

spiro: generally standard, quite common. It suppresses T produciton directly. it takes a while (few weeks) to build up to levels where it works effectively which means that it takes longer to allow your E to have an effect. Spiro is a dieuretic. it makes you pee. alot. like alot alot. some girls get annoyed at how often they have to piss. som girls cant get good sleep cause they wake up multiple times a night to go piss. It is a pottasium sparing dieuretic too. You will piss out a bunch of salt, but your pottasium will stay at the same level, this can cause problems sometimes but wont be significant unless your docto tells you it will be. you will crave salt to replenish the mountains of salt you are pissing out. there is a reason why transfems are stereotyped to like pickles. somwhat due to spiro. I dont like spiro (obviously), and many others dont either \:)

cyproterone acetate:

less standard, but widely available in canada, it works by blocking T from attaching to testosterone receptors in your body. It works literally immediately to almost its full effect. it often TANKS T instanty (did for me) some people report lower energy because of this. personal nitpick: its annoying to swallow. it only comes in 50mg pills and the dose is typically 12.5 mg daily so you split the disc into quarters and take one each day. not hard, easy to do an be consistent with its just annoying swallowing the small quarter of the pill. anyways, the other major drawback is that in really high doses (like 100+mg per day) it increases the chance to get brain tumors. this will be irrelevant to you though so dont worry about it

those are the T supporession methods I know of, there are a few more AAs but i dont know about them specifically

This is also a good source: https://transfemscience.org/

4 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Idk what you're talking about, me and pretty much every other HRT user I know has been happy with mood changes

they sometimes advertise it as a downside but many people will find it affirming so it doesn't tend to matter tbh

[Hmmm lies she/her]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

I mean..idrk how i feel abt fertility/infertility atm...

You can do fertility preservation if one wants to keep one's options open. I considered it, but didn't.

2 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

why is permanent breast development a downside?

Just something irreversible I guess. I expect most wouldn't consider it one. (Also surgery can undo it, but that's costly)

3 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

What mood changes? I'd probably like them 

It typically manifests as an increase in all emotions, happiness, sadness, anger, all of them. Passion as a whole.

As well as the libido and dysphoria stuff I mentioned before.

[Aeoryi she/her]

2 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

I mean..idrk how i feel abt fertility/infertility atm...

why is permanent breast development a downside?

What mood changes? I'd probably like them 

fertility stuff can be solved by using gamete storage, if you're worried. Basically you preserve a sample of your gametes so if you ever decide to use them you have them. 

All changes of HRT are generally reversible if you so choose to. It is not as simple as just stopping HRT but in general it's a pretty easy process (menopause is not though beware). That is, all changes but breast development (which is why some transmascs may choose to undergo top surgery). However, it takes weeks or months for breast development to occur so you have plenty of time to decide if HRT is for you. 

Mood changes... lies can probably tell you more but I've been told that generally you have more emotions on E or something. 

[Hmmm lies she/her]

Oh I forgot, estrogen can also apparently make you crave sodium, with pickles being a stereotypical comfort food for transfems (including myself).

Tessa had a lot of good information, but just one quick sciency nitpick, Spironolactone doesn't prevent testosterone production, rather it just neutralizes it. Your body still produces it, it just won't have any effects anymore. This should not matter in the slightest to you, but does matter for sciency reasons. 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

1 minute ago, Aeoryi said:

E

Bro

 

2 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

injections: you take weekly injections of esteogen esters (EV likely) which provide E directly I to your bloodstream. They are relatively cheap, widely regarded to be the most effective, and they start working quite fast. Frankly they are probably just the best option if someone doesn’t care about needles. On the other hand, many people are scared of needles and that could be an issue 

I hate needles  

3 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

CW: needles

not gonna open that...

 

3 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Passion as a whole.

gimmegimme

3 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

You can do fertility preservation if one wants to keep one's options open. I considered it, but didn't.

idk if i care abt that or not tbh..

 

also sorry guys but that was a lot of sciency stuff

[Aeoryi she/her]

2 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

Bro

 

I hate needles  

not gonna open that...

 

gimmegimme

idk if i care abt that or not tbh..

 

also sorry guys but that was a lot of sciency stuff

E is common shorthand for estrogen 

The spoiler just has a description of what injections feel like. I figured not everyone likes that kind of stuff, so I put it in a spoiler.

It's also a good idea to do your own research on HRT. I've definitely done a fair bit myself. Yes, it's fairly deep into science, but basically testosterone is the male hormone and estrogen & progesterone are the female equivalents to it. These hormones have a big part in puberty changes. When you go on E, you'll experience what is essentially a second puberty that is more similar to the natural female puberty. 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

5 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

E is common shorthand for

something else too

5 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

description of what injections feel like

ewwww

i dont like thinking about needles

or didnt

ugh

everything is so confusing sis

 

5 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

When you go on E, you'll experience what is essentially a second puberty that is more similar to the natural female puberty. 

that sounds so fun/affirming...

 

Spoiler

im not entirely sure...but i feel like i envy women and periods...

 

Edited February 16 by Usseewa

[Aeoryi she/her]

22 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

something else too

ewwww

i dont like thinking about needles

or didnt

ugh

everything is so confusing sis

 

that sounds so fun/affirming...

 

  Hide contents

im not entirely sure...but i feel like i envy women and periods...

 

some transfemme individuals experience periods, or something similar to it

I wish I shared your envy tbh as much as I like the majority of the effects of HRT I'm not necessarily thrilled with all of them.

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

some transfemme individuals experience periods, or something similar to it

I wish I shared your envy tbh as much as I like the majority of the effects of HRT I'm not necessarily thrilled with all of them.

that's good to hear.

 

i might be less thrilled later on,...but for now id be happy with anything. at least i want it.

[Aeoryi she/her]

Just now, Usseewa said:

that's good to hear.

 

i might be less thrilled later on,...but for now id be happy with anything. at least i want it.

there are so many days where I wish I had just never decided to be trans TBH 
more than there used to

I don't think I was ever like you though

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

there are so many days where I wish I had just never decided to be trans TBH 
more than there used to

and, is that cuz it's hard or cuz u actually dont wanna be?

1 minute ago, Aeoryi said:

I don't think I was ever like you though

"Everyone's Journey Is Different"

[Aeoryi she/her]

5 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

and, is that cuz it's hard or cuz u actually dont wanna be?

"Everyone's Journey Is Different"

probably just because I liked the way things were before and it's extremely difficult

and yeah everyone's journey is different and quite honestly I am very jealous of a lot of you

EDIT: 

I don't think I'm not trans but being told that "you're not as transgender as actual transgender people" eventually starts to make you start educating the idea 

and as much as I hate it, it's true

Edited February 16 by Aeoryi

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

9 hours ago, Aeoryi said:

probably just because I liked the way things were before and it's extremely difficult

and yeah everyone's journey is different and quite honestly I am very jealous of a lot of you

EDIT: 

I don't think I'm not trans but being told that "you're not as transgender as actual transgender people" eventually starts to make you start educating the idea 

and as much as I hate it, it's true

maybe think about how far u've come and what you've already done. Like, nailpolish, realizing ur trans, etc. idk.

plus, it's harder when u don't have supportive ppl irl.

Edited February 16 by Usseewa

[Akimikoisthecutest]

4 hours ago, Usseewa said:

plus, it's harder when u don't have supportive ppl irl.

Definitely harder

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

14 hours ago, Aeoryi said:

probably just because I liked the way things were before and it's extremely difficult

and yeah everyone's journey is different and quite honestly I am very jealous of a lot of you

EDIT: 

I don't think I'm not trans but being told that "you're not as transgender as actual transgender people" eventually starts to make you start educating the idea 

and as much as I hate it, it's true

You shouldn't be jealous.

Or,...well it's normal to be, but maybe see it not in a bad way but, like, something to look forward to, or a goal. U shouldn't compare urself to others tho.

im jealous of yall too, or at least i was. now, i want what yall have but i dont rhink im rlly jealous.

also, you are "trans enough," no matter what ppl tell u or doubts u have. u don't need a list of specific things or, like, idk.

uh yeah

 

edit: ok so i wrote a poem yesterday abt this but not everyone sees those and also i just wanna put it in plain language here for all yall sooooo:

do you find yourself wanting...to have a different life? Like, I'm pretty sure I can trace this far back in my "life." I envy everyone. I envy people I read about or imagine or randos around me. I envy their normal lives, I envy their experiences I can only dream about, I want to know what it feels like to be them. Basically an IRL body-swap? But I'd also have their brain. Or, just knowing what they think and feel. And for some reason I think everyone else has so much better a life than me, or more real or more ... more... higher quality? More better. Idk. And I just imagine how great their lives are. And idc about whatever hardships they have, whatever depression, whatever happiness, whatever grief, whatever everything they have, I want it. I'd take it. It feels like they actually get to enjoy (or at least live/experience) life. Not that I'd want my depression and bad stuff I'm stuck with rn, but I wouldn't mind theirs? Speaking of depression, I've never - or at least rarely - actually felt like I've been depressed, I just say depression cuz it's easier and similar. I'm not saying I've never been depressed, I'm just sayin' that I struggle to self-define it as such. It's always felt like something else. I guess mainly cuz I feel like depression comes with hopelessness, right? And...other stuff that I don't wanna think about but probably am and will anyway. I think I've felt some form of hopelessness, but... I'm also always afraid of... admitting stuff like that. Stuff I consider bad/dangerous. Stuff that would make people worry? Ugh. Now it keeps just sounding like I have that stuff and I don't want that to be true but there's a possibility it could be gahhhh. Lmk if you need me to define "stuff" better...but yeah. So where was I... I guess the times I've been more severely depressed or whatever it is, I'm always told, like, "it'll go away! It happens to everyone, but doesn't last long!" POV me when it keeps repeating and, of course, when - in the midst of depression - it's hard to believe that: "yeah... okay..." And then every time I write about depression/depression-related stuff, or read/watch about it, or think about it - basically when I start deeply pondering my unhappiness - then I get worried and possibly depressed idk. So, basically I've always been fascinated in people's lives - or thinking of what they must be like. Especially the "mundane," everyday type stuff. Anddddd, especially around others. Like, what's it like for then at their job - even a "boring" job - and interacting with others? What are the small moments like? What's it like for them hanging out with friends? With their partner? Alone? I guess I probably wondered mostly for girls/women, now that I think about it. But what are they thinking? What is that person feeling? Are they just waiting to get somewhere or waiting for something? Are they excited for something? Are they depressed on the inside? What is their day like? Btw most of the time when I've been talking about a person/people here, it's basically just everyone in general. Everyone I see around, or lives/moments/people I dream up. Basically... will transitioning or HRT or whatever help me become like one of those people? Will I get a taste of that normal but so-wonderful life? It's just beautiful to think of others' lives. Idk. Like they must have so many wonderful moments and feelings and thoughts and friends maybe and days. And "wonderful" doesn't necessarily mean happy. Maybe just emotional, or real. Like meaningful? Like emotional but it connects to you and you are a part of it. I'm also trying not to just give a textbook-definition/symptoms for everything, cuz then ur just like "oh yeah, this really sounds like X." But hopefully most of what I'm saying makes sense. I can probably explain more if you need. Also... the realistic part of my brain is saying that every moment of other peoples' lives are probably not as beautiful as I think... but honestly I think/view that they are. And sometimes it's hard to remember what my thoughts were in the past. Like remember what I was thinking. When I'm thinking of my past for trans stuff. omg pun detected. for trans. fortrans. FORTRANs. Look it ("FORTRAN") up. No 'S'. Anyway, what else what else. I've tried writing a character with everything I'm imagining people's lives are like, with some success I guess? And also, reading helps but sometimes it's hard? Maybe it's not fulfilling enough, or it's not what I want or imagined, or I have trouble sometimes? Idk. Actually, I do relate to characters I think. Usually/always the female ones (but not all female ones). Or I like the character in general, idk. Uhhh yeah. That's it for now, I think. Lemme think if there's any more to add... idk why is it so hard to remember my life. I remember a basic timeline... mostly. I remember some major stuff. I know things that happened. But... it's cloudy I guess? Especially rn, it's hard to focus on anything, it feels weird. Now idk what there would be to focus on. Bleh. Feels like a mushy brain that's being stretched and can't stretch, but not being physically stretched. Ok ignore thatttt i guess idk. Uhmm...

yeah i guess that's all for now, tho i kinda wanna add more but can't think of anything atm.

@Aeoryi @Hmmm lies @Akimikoisthecutest @Honors Ghost @Ink and Embers @Keke @certifiedcranedriver idk who else lol.

but just pinging since I edited instead of double-posting.

Edited February 16 by Usseewa

[Akimikoisthecutest]

Uhh, I'm about to come out to my therapist! Wish me luck!

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

1 minute ago, Akimikoisthecutest said:

Uhh, I'm about to come out to my therapist! Wish me luck!

GOOOD LUCKKKK

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

1 minute ago, Akimikoisthecutest said:

Uhh, I'm about to come out to my therapist! Wish me luck!

Good luck!

[Hmmm lies she/her]

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

do you find yourself wanting...to have a different life? Like, I'm pretty sure I can trace this far back in my "life." I envy everyone. I envy people I read about or imagine or randos around me. I envy their normal lives, I envy their experiences I can only dream about, I want to know what it feels like to be them. Basically an IRL body-swap? But I'd also have their brain. Or, just knowing what they think and feel. And for some reason I think everyone else has so much better a life than me, or more real or more ... more... higher quality? More better. Idk. And I just imagine how great their lives are. And idc about whatever hardships they have, whatever depression, whatever happiness, whatever grief, whatever everything they have, I want it. I'd take it. It feels like they actually get to enjoy (or at least live/experience) life.

I've felt this before, but in the end, I always have ended up realizing I'd rather be myself.

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

Basically... will transitioning or HRT or whatever help me become like one of those people? Will I get a taste of that normal but so-wonderful life? It's just beautiful to think of others' lives. Idk. Like they must have so many wonderful moments and feelings and thoughts and friends maybe and days. And "wonderful" doesn't necessarily mean happy. Maybe just emotional, or real. Like meaningful? Like emotional but it connects to you and you are a part of it. I'm also trying not to just give a textbook-definition/symptoms for everything, cuz then ur just like "oh yeah, this really sounds like X." But hopefully most of what I'm saying makes sense. I can probably explain more if you need.

Become one of those people? No, I think it'd make you be yourself, but happier. Maybe you'll be like them, in that you'll be content with your life too, but you'd still be yourself. Maybe I'm misinterpreting you though.

 

Anyway, read the whole thing, it seems interesting, and I relate to a lot of it, but I'm not entirely sure how to respond to it all.

Regardless, it's good to keep thinking about stuff, and who you are, and what you want and all that.

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

11 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

I've felt this before, but in the end, I always have ended up realizing I'd rather be myself.

Become one of those people? No, I think it'd make you be yourself, but happier. Maybe you'll be like them, in that you'll be content with your life too, but you'd still be yourself. Maybe I'm misinterpreting you though.

 

Anyway, read the whole thing, it seems interesting, and I relate to a lot of it, but I'm not entirely sure how to respond to it all.

Regardless, it's good to keep thinking about stuff, and who you are, and what you want and all that.

Thanks for responding.

I'm not sure if I want to be one of those people or not, but I certainly want to know what it's like to be them.

Maybe, kinda like what you said, I want that for myself. I want what they have. I want to be me happier, like you said.

 

I wanna add that basically my whole life, or most of it (as in, maybe not every moment), I've felt like the pre-transition guy on the left:

Spoiler

(From https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/biochemical-dysphoria)

That's pretty much what my expression is usually, and I feel flat and not happy, not sad, but kinda emotionless? Or something. And then I have to force myself to smile sometimes, like for photos (ewww). Then when I'm genuinely smiling or laughing, I'm surprised. Once I realize I am.

Like, I've always felt like that guy on the left. If someone ever looked at me, I'd probably look like that.

 

edit: i seem to get the feeling that maybe you don't relate a ton to what I said? idk

Edited February 16 by Usseewa

[Hmmm lies she/her]

8 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

edit: i seem to get the feeling that maybe you don't relate a ton to what I said? idk

Well, I don't relate right now, but that's actually really similar to how I felt pre-transistion.

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Hmmm lies said:

Well, I don't relate right now, but that's actually really similar to how I felt pre-transistion.

Ah, yes.

At this moment I'm not feeling bad, but I'm pretty sure I was while writing everything there. There are also some things that I remember feeling, and then I'm a little surprised to realize I don't anymore. In a good way. The things were bad. Or not good. This has come up a lot recently for me.

[Aeoryi she/her]

Can I have dysphoria without being trans I wonder

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

1 minute ago, Aeoryi said:

Can I have dysphoria without being trans I wonder

....sorry to bring this up again but did u read the gdb?