D&D stories

[Vielence She/Her]

Hey guys so I just started DMing again, and I came up with this.

This is just a fun place to share your most hilarious D&D stories (Random encounters, heists, funny NPC's, ect)

I dunno if this'll kickoff but I figured I may as well try lol. Low stakes, this is just social.

Happy adventuring!

[Treamayne]

8 hours ago, VieB13 said:

hilarious D&D stories

Is this using D&D and as a Synonym for TTRPG? Or just Dungeons and Dragons, Specifically?

[IcedOutPenguin He/Him]

So, were doing a quest where we had to break into a prison, and retrieve and item from a prisoner there. 

The only problem: they have to be willing to give us the thing and we can't kill them to take it. What it is isn't relevant.

I was playing a paladin who's god is Bahamut, and I had a spell given to me by them to allow me to cast plane shift to Mount Celestia at will.

So we broke into the prison, freed the prisoner. Kinda blew up the prison. While the prison is collapsing and we're all going to die. The prisoner is still being uncooperative and not giving us the item.

So, while the prison in collapsing around us. I grapple them and cast plane shift to the only place I know the spell to: Mount Celestia. 

I grab them by the neck and hold them over a cliff. They give me the item, and I leave them there to be destroyed by some god in a bad mood. 

[Vielence She/Her]

17 hours ago, Treamayne said:

Is this using D&D and as a Synonym for TTRPG? Or just Dungeons and Dragons, Specifically?

Any TTRPG. Thanks for asking tho! 

[Through the Living Hopper He/Him]

I was new to D&D, plus my party was being jerky.

We stumble into an encounter with a bunch of leeches. The leeches were really weak, so it shouldn't have been a problem.

Problem.

The leeches explode on taking damage. Pretty soon, after only two or three explosions, our 4th level barbarian is at about half health. Everyone else is pretty close to death.

I, being the sociopath that I sometimes am during D&D (I've outgrown it, don't worry), start maniacally laughing. Then I ask the DM how much health the leeches have. He says about 2 HP.

I run into the center and cast thunderclap.

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

I roll a 1

 

 

 

 

Edited July 15, 2025 by ThatOneWorldhopper

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

We still call this The Zombie Incident (with caps)

Zombie game. I don't remember exactly what we were doing, but we somehow happened upon a zombie in a bathroom. It bites the first player who enters. That player, for some reason, decided to try to bite the zombie back. They rolled a nat 1 and bit it on the mouth. Cue the entrance of the rest of the party, who apparently find this character making out with a zombie. It took the one character awhile to get away, too, because they cept rolling 1s

[Eluvianii he/him]

Hmmm there's a somewhat recent one. We were exploring a house. Owners were good people, we were doing a few quests for them, no real reason to suspect them of anything. So naturally we scoured the place like they were the villains. Worse yet, it actually paid off because we found a secret basement were a ritual was being held.

Now, inside this secret basement there was another secret room. It was sealed, and we were led to believe that whatever was on the other side was highly dangerous.

One of our players goes "If you're afraid to die don't be born!" and smashes the wall open. Inside is where the main part of the ritual is held. A magic circle, and a poor undead guy who was left there bleeding constantly into it. Now, this is the thing. We knew right away that the right course of action was not touching the thing. The character that smashed the wall happened to have a thing though, a curse or something similar, can't remember. But he was compelled to aid every undead he happened to meet. Issue was, he also didn't know much about undead (either that or he failed the roll, can't recall). End result? He tried to heal the dude. With a healing spell.

Therefore the undead "died", the flow of blood was interrupted, and we got to find out that it was sealing a demon of all things. So it comes out and kills our player in one hit. If you're afraid to die don't be born indeed.

 

Afterwards the demon just spared us and left, but we have been informed it's now permanently added to the random encounter table.

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

This is a very recent one.

I am an Elementalist on a log. We discover the log is actually a body part of the monster because we are sticking to it (Me and a friend). The log bleeds, so we decide to attack the log to get off.

We are in a swamp.

I am an elementalist.

I decide.

That it would be great idea.

To cast.

Lightning Bolt.

*cough cough*

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

16 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

We still call this The Zombie Incident (with caps)

Zombie game. I don't remember exactly what we were doing, but we somehow happened upon a zombie in a bathroom. It bites the first player who enters. That player, for some reason, decided to try to bite the zombie back. They rolled a nat 1 and bit it on the mouth. Cue the entrance of the rest of the party, who apparently find this character making out with a zombie. It took the one character awhile to get away, too, because they cept rolling 1s

I think I know who this is

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

5 hours ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

This is a very recent one.

I am an Elementalist on a log. We discover the log is actually a body part of the monster because we are sticking to it (Me and a friend). The log bleeds, so we decide to attack the log to get off.

We are in a swamp.

I am an elementalist.

I decide.

That it would be great idea.

To cast.

Lightning Bolt.

*cough cough*

Those poor kobolds. And me. I WAS ON THE LOG

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

Just now, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Those poor kobolds. And me. I WAS ON THE LOG

yeah yeah

...

I still think it was a great idea. The monster died.

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

2 minutes ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

yeah yeah

...

I still think it was a great idea. The monster died.

I Cast Fireball

[Through the Living Hopper He/Him]

6 hours ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

yeah yeah

...

I still think it was a great idea. The monster died.

Honestly I don't see a problem.

[Argenti he/him]

11 hours ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

This is a very recent one.

I am an Elementalist on a log. We discover the log is actually a body part of the monster because we are sticking to it (Me and a friend). The log bleeds, so we decide to attack the log to get off.

We are in a swamp.

I am an elementalist.

I decide.

That it would be great idea.

To cast.

Lightning Bolt.

*cough cough*

6 minutes ago, ThatOneWorldhopper said:

Honestly I don't see a problem.

He's just lucky Zael had enough mana to avoid being killed.

He's holding that against you

Spoiler

Yes. Yes. I will move it forward soon I've just been busy

 

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

6 minutes ago, Argenti said:

He's just lucky Zael had enough mana to avoid being killed.

He's holding that against you

  Reveal hidden contents

Yes. Yes. I will move it forward soon I've just been busy

 

Wait i almost killed him?

...

Still worth it.

[Vielence She/Her]

On 7/15/2025 at 1:43 PM, ThatOneWorldhopper said:

I was new to D&D, plus my party was being jerky.

We stumble into an encounter with a bunch of leeches. The leeches were really weak, so it shouldn't have been a problem.

Problem.

The leeches explode on taking damage. Pretty soon, after only two or three explosions, our 4th level barbarian is at about half health. Everyone else is pretty close to death.

I, being the sociopath that I sometimes am during D&D (I've outgrown it, don't worry), start maniacally laughing. Then I ask the DM how much health the leeches have. He says about 2 HP.

I run into the center and cast thunderclap.

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I roll a 1

 

 

 

 

Oh good. If it helps, one time I was playing a charcter named Andry, a halfling rogue, and bc she has Lucky, if I roll a one, I can retake the roll. 

I rolled a one. Went "Oh RUSTS" bc I was doing something crazy. 

Used Lucky. Rerolled

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

I got a 2 

 

 

 

 

On 7/15/2025 at 6:59 PM, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

We still call this The Zombie Incident (with caps)

Zombie game. I don't remember exactly what we were doing, but we somehow happened upon a zombie in a bathroom. It bites the first player who enters. That player, for some reason, decided to try to bite the zombie back. They rolled a nat 1 and bit it on the mouth. Cue the entrance of the rest of the party, who apparently find this character making out with a zombie. It took the one character awhile to get away, too, because they cept rolling 1s

Pfffft

On 7/16/2025 at 12:20 AM, Eluvianii said:

Hmmm there's a somewhat recent one. We were exploring a house. Owners were good people, we were doing a few quests for them, no real reason to suspect them of anything. So naturally we scoured the place like they were the villains. Worse yet, it actually paid off because we found a secret basement were a ritual was being held.

Now, inside this secret basement there was another secret room. It was sealed, and we were led to believe that whatever was on the other side was highly dangerous.

One of our players goes "If you're afraid to die don't be born!" and smashes the wall open. Inside is where the main part of the ritual is held. A magic circle, and a poor undead guy who was left there bleeding constantly into it. Now, this is the thing. We knew right away that the right course of action was not touching the thing. The character that smashed the wall happened to have a thing though, a curse or something similar, can't remember. But he was compelled to aid every undead he happened to meet. Issue was, he also didn't know much about undead (either that or he failed the roll, can't recall). End result? He tried to heal the dude. With a healing spell.

Therefore the undead "died", the flow of blood was interrupted, and we got to find out that it was sealing a demon of all things. So it comes out and kills our player in one hit. If you're afraid to die don't be born indeed.

 

Afterwards the demon just spared us and left, but we have been informed it's now permanently added to the random encounter table.

Oh good. I always love me a demon who can randomly show up and maybe kinda perhaps try to obliterate me 

23 hours ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

This is a very recent one.

I am an Elementalist on a log. We discover the log is actually a body part of the monster because we are sticking to it (Me and a friend). The log bleeds, so we decide to attack the log to get off.

We are in a swamp.

I am an elementalist.

I decide.

That it would be great idea.

To cast.

Lightning Bolt.

*cough cough*

 no way. 

12 hours ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

Wait i almost killed him?

...

Still worth it.

You are legit crazy you know that?

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

10 minutes ago, VieB13 said:

Oh good. If it helps, one time I was playing a charcter named Andry, a halfling rogue, and bc she has Lucky, if I roll a one, I can retake the roll. 

I rolled a one. Went "Oh RUSTS" bc I was doing something crazy. 

Used Lucky. Rerolled

  Reveal hidden contents

  Hide contents

  Hide contents

  Hide contents

  Hide contents

I got a 2 

 

 

 

 

Pfffft

Oh good. I always love me a demon who can randomly show up and maybe kinda perhaps try to obliterate me 

 no way. 

You are legit crazy you know that?

Thank you.

I try.

[Vielence She/Her]

1 minute ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

Thank you.

I try.

I mean, same lol

Been working on Dming for a cmapaign and I made this. Here:

D&D Prologue (Of sorts)

 

The world was created by Moradin, Father god of creation. However magic always has a price, so as he completed his work, Moradin was split into 7 different shards of magic. 

Those shards fell to earth, and took root within 6 people, who rose as gods. 

Avandra, goddess of change and luck was the first. After her was Bahumat, god of justice and nobility. Third came the Twins, Corellenn and Iouna. Corellenn as the god of magic and artisans, Iouna the goddess of knowledge and memory. Soon after them came two more. Old Melora, goddess of the wild and the sea. And last was who we know as The Raven Queen, as her true name is lost to us now. 

The 7th shard that broke from Moradin was the last, and crumbled into dust as it fell. Thus came the sorcerers, with magic in their blood. So too came all other magical beings that walk this plane and the next. 

After each had ascended to godhood, The Six each created a book of tales and poems, respective to their art, and gifted it to the peoples to help them learn and thrive as they grew. 

It was named this 'The Collection' and it has helped the land much over time. You can often find a copy in the local village or inn, but slowly the originals were lost. Spread from one corner of this world to the other, they were hidden.

 

 

Until, many generations later, the temple priests all received the same message saying that if the books were not brought back together, and the 7th shard not reformed, all magic in the world will fall, disrupting its balance and causing it to be overrun with terror and chaos. The Six gifted a clue to start the people on their search, and so it began.

The king sent out his best warriors to collect the books, and over the course of 100 years, 4 of the 6 were found. But though many tried they could not crack the fifth clue - found in the fourth volume, as each clue before - and over time, as nothing happened to the world or its magic, the message, and its importance, faded, until it was little more than a fools tale. 

 

 

The exception to this was in The Archives. There, it was not forgotten, but remembered and passed down  until the next book could be found. Thus came the Acquisitions Department's secret mission: find and complete The Collection. Many of them tried and failed over the years, but it was never forgotten. Their search remained, if progressing slowly. 

Until one Raelen Mistwalker had a new idea about the clue. He - a low-class scribes apprentice at the time - was chosen to lead the mission, and with the help of his team successfully retrieved the fifth volume of The Collection, along with the clue toward the sixth and final volume: The one that The Raven Queen had gifted. 

Over many other successful missions, Raelen became head of the Acquisitions Department, and has spent much of his time searching for the sixth book, along with his apprentice, Andry. They believed in the message, but were unsure how pressing the matter was, given that still nothing had happened to the gods, their power, or the world's magic and balance. This changed when the headmistress of the Archives felt her power as a sorceress failing. 

She called together a secret meeting that even the king did not know about, and together they decided that they needed a group of fresh minds to help find the book. They sent word that The Acquisitions Department is hiring to one end of the land to the other, and though many applied, only four were chosen.

And so, our campaign begins. 

 

Thoughts?

 

[Treamayne]

On 7/15/2025 at 1:46 PM, VieB13 said:

Any TTRPG. Thanks for asking tho!

WtA Game, circa 1995

•  The Pack's Fianna Theurge shifts to Hispo to track the Wyrmling that was testing the boundaries of the Sept's territory
  • Reasoning to be in a fighting form when they catch-up to the beast, despite not having the Lupus form bonus to scent tracking
• Prompty botches the Perception+Primal Urge check

Spoiler

Since a botch means the tracker cannot re-find the trail, the storyteller interprets this as the Fianna being so distracted by the scent he was following, he went nose first into a pile of bear spore he failed to notice (and could no-longer smell anything else with that stuck in his nose)

Spoiler

I was the storyteller in this scenario. . . and not a nice one

 

For those unfamiliar:

Spoiler

The Forms (left to right) (Ron Spenser Artwork)

• Human
• Glabro (near Human)
• Crinos (Wolfman)
• Hispo (Dire Wolf)
• Lupus (Wolf)

 

Edited July 17, 2025 by Treamayne
Image/SPAG

[Argenti he/him]

20 minutes ago, Treamayne said:

WtA Game, circa 1995

•  The Pack's Fianna Theurge shifts to Hispo to track the Wyrmling that was testing the boundaries of the Sept's territory
  • Reasoning to be in a fighting form when they catch-up to the beast, despite not having the Lupus form bonus to scent tracking
• Prompty botches the Perception+Primal Urge check

  Reveal hidden contents

Since a botch means the tracker cannot re-find the trail, the storyteller interprets this as the Fianna being so distracted by the scent he was following, he went nose first into a pile of bear spore he failed to notice (and could no-longer smell anything else with that stuck in his nose)

  Reveal hidden contents

I was the storyteller in this scenario. . . and not a nice one

 

 

That's werewolf: the apocalypse, right? that's a cool system- ive wanted to read up in it.

[Treamayne]

12 minutes ago, Argenti said:

That's werewolf: the apocalypse, right? that's a cool system- ive wanted to read up in it.

Affirm, Werewolf the Apocalypse - one of the three Core of the Old World of Darkness - now in the 20th anniversary edition. Drive Thru RPG often has sales, and also has the original 90s version (or did last I checked) on the cheap (especially since they are PDF scans of physical books, so lower quality - but enough to learn if you like the setting). 

You could also check out some of the novels based on WtA for a story-way to explore the setting. 

The other two Core WoD games were Vampire the Masquerade (VtM) and Mage the Awakening (MtA) - though there were many other smaller game settings (Mummy, Changeling, Wraith, Hunter, Demon, etc.)

In my 90s playgroup, the Storyteller for VtM played WtA and MtA; I was Storyteller for WtA and played the other games, etc. (So no one person had to run all of the games)

 

Edited July 17, 2025 by Treamayne
SPAG

[Vielence She/Her]

Ok so… 

First session of w/the new group? 
went ok. 
It was so goofy tho. I have a TOTAL newbie. 
And. . . 
 

Spoiler

Spoiler

He’s a bush. 

Yea. Help?

 

[Eluvianii he/him]

3 hours ago, VieB13 said:

Ok so… 

First session of w/the new group? 
went ok. 
It was so goofy tho. I have a TOTAL newbie. 
And. . . 
 

  Hide contents

  Hide contents

He’s a bush. 

Yea. Help?

 

Mage hand bread energy.

 

Actually that reminds me that a friend has a character in one of our active campaigns (GM's need time and rest so the title is currently shuffled between 3 people across 4 semi active campaigns) who was a sandwich who became humanoid and sentient. Name's Mayonesa. Probably don't need to translate that.

[Vielence She/Her]

13 hours ago, Eluvianii said:

Mage hand bread energy.

 

Actually that reminds me that a friend has a character in one of our active campaigns (GM's need time and rest so the title is currently shuffled between 3 people across 4 semi active campaigns) who was a sandwich who became humanoid and sentient. Name's Mayonesa. Probably don't need to translate that.

Bahahaha at least I’m not alone in the chaos lol 

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

Okay I have some hilarious ones but I'm guaranteed to tell them horribly. 

 

So we were in a dungeon, right? And we've just beaten the hobgoblins guarding this room and the DM mentions that there is a table in the middle of it. So what do we immediately do? Cut it in half, just for the funnies. Immediately, a bottle fell out, and we realised that there was actually a puzzle in this room where we were supposed to cut the table in half as part of it. So we desperately search the room, and cannot find where the start of the puzzle was, so we try cutting the table more. A lot. Like we beat it with hammers and reduced it to sawdust. Immediately after this, we actually found the puzzle and realised that all we had to do was put the two halves back together. Then we all felt like idiots for a while until our paladin decided to sacrifice 700 gp to his gods to have them magically put the table back together (don't question it his gods are desperate). 

 

So in another campaign, we were really desperate for a boat, but we were also fugitives and broke. So we decide that we should steal a boat, and split up, some to go get rations, some to go find a guy to sail it, and some to actually steal the boat. And so, two characters go and they find this random orc named Zelug (our GOAT) who had little to no sailing experience and tell him that if he agrees to sail us to where we want to go, he can keep the boat, and of course he agrees. And then the wizard, who was sent to get rations, finds a guy with a cart full of rations, but they are ridiculously expensive. So the wizard, he casts Tenser's Floating Disc which levitates the cart and makes it follow him, and then starts running through the market and screaming that he was being chased by a possessed cart, and the whole town just ran away like maniacs. So anyway, the people who were sent a boat had found one, and Zelug and the rest of our party were waiting just next to it. So when they see the wizard approaching them screaming and with a cart full of rations coming up behind him, they just jump on the boat and cut the moorings, and then the wizard and cart run on to it as the gangplank is falling away, and the cart goes barreling through the sailors who we were stealing the boat from and they all jump overboard. You just have to imagine the scene with Pirates of the Caribbean music in the background. And then Zelug, this random orc we grabbed off the street, just happens to be a natural at sailing and we reach our destination at record speed. And since, over the course of the campaign, which is still ongoing, we have celebrated Zelug by giving him riches and other things as he continues to transport us, and have slowly built up an armada for him.