Mental health club!

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, Through The Living Star said:

*hugs again to all who need one*

If anyone needs to talk I am willing to listen. 

 

Shoot I just joined the Shard is that weird? If so please disregard aforementioned statement. Don't disregard the hugs though. The hugs stay for all who need one. 

You’re already fitting in lol

plus now i dont feel like the new guy :3

[Stardust She/Her]

Just now, Through The Living Grass said:

You’re already fitting in lol

plus now i dont feel like the new guy :3

Thanks. Honestly it's easier to talk to you guys than anybody at my school.

And I am definitely used to being the new kid :3

[Verdance he/him]

1 minute ago, Through The Living Star said:

Thanks. Honestly it's easier to talk to you guys than anybody at my school.

And I am definitely used to being the new kid :3

Hey you should join TLT

[Stardust She/Her]

1 minute ago, Through The Living Grass said:

Hey you should join TLT

Yeah I looked at it and I have no clue what's going on. The first page talks about hamsters and then all of a sudden it's like roleplaying if I'm not incorrect?

So if someone could explain it then sure, why not. I'll join. 

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, Through The Living Star said:

Yeah I looked at it and I have no clue what's going on. The first page talks about hamsters and then all of a sudden it's like roleplaying if I'm not incorrect?

So if someone could explain it then sure, why not. I'll join. 

Um so old lore is so massive that literally no one has read it all

the old gods have passed away lmao

but right now one of the older forces in TLT from before when plot was taken seriously has been brought back to destroy it all. so people are fighting proxy wars with him via his allies, he hasn’t really personally done much yet but is being an imminent threat that’s causing other people to take action.

whenever @NameIess or @Through The Living Glass come back to TLT, we’ll get an invasion of Heaven I think? 

[Usseewa]

6 minutes ago, Through The Living Star said:

Thanks. Honestly it's easier to talk to you guys than anybody at my school.

And I am definitely used to being the new kid :3

lol ur fitting in better than i DID in my first week

[Stardust She/Her]

Soooo... roleplaying, right?

I just create a character and join? 

[Verdance he/him]

1 minute ago, Through The Living Star said:

Soooo... roleplaying, right?

I just create a character and join? 

Go for it! If you need a rundown of magic mechanics or any characters and smaller plot threads i can try and summarize, but mostly the plot is up to you!

[Stardust She/Her]

...ok. No way this can go horribly wrong at all. (FAMOUS LAST WORDS)

I might need that summary at some point...

Just to be 100% sure, TLT is the Longest Thread, yes?

Edited March 23 by Through The Living Star

[SpartanBrigade He/Him]

2 minutes ago, Through The Living Star said:

...ok. No way this can go horribly wrong at all. (FAMOUS LAST WORDS)

I might need that summary at some point...

Just to be 100% sure, TLT is the Longest Thread, yes?

Yes

[Stardust She/Her]

Okeedokiee we'll see how this goes... I might get this completely wrong so somebody please correct me if I do so

[Akimikoisthecutest]

Ah yes. I need to return to TLT

[Verdance he/him]

Damnit damnit damnit

guys im so freaking upset right now i feel like a rusting idiot here cause math class. Just spent like an hour or something sitting in class talking about circles and cones and stupid crap that should be like three grades below me but apparently is pre calculus and therefore makes zero sense whatsoever 

like normally i understand in class and realize when i try to actually do any of the homework or quizes or study guides or tests that i actually have zero comprehension at all, but no, now i cant even think i know what’s going on

cause im just sitting in class staring and nothing makes any rusting sense and i asked like a dozen questions in the first five minutes and everyone was staring at me like an idiot cause they were apparently stupid questions like what the hell you should know this this is like basic stuff

and im so depressed and upset not in like even my usual quiet hopeless SH sort of way but more like i want to go sob and scream and cry but i can’t because i have rusting autism and im at my church which is also my school ajd there are a million people here and theres nowhere to go

and im rusting starving cause i didnt bring lunch cause i stayed up pretty late last night as always and was slightly depressed like melancholy or reserved or something no big deal but i had zero appetite or desire to eat anything i saw in the pantry or fridge so i just didnt bring lunch and i had basically s bowl of cheerios like literally six hours ago and some coffee thats it, i had money in my pocket to go get a sandwich and then just forgot and wasnt hungry when i had time to eat

so now im starving and angry and sad and upset and really freaking frustrated cause im telling all this to a web forum of frankly nice people but im not going to say any of it to my therapist in like an hour cause idk what hes going to say its about school and food not mental stuff anything he would say is stuff i already know like i should eat food and try harder in class

But goddamn it i am so stupid ugh i dont even feel SH-y right now which is frustrating i feel like i should be feeling SH-y or judgmental of myself but really i feel like a victim for some reason even though all of this is my fault and my conscious choices to put myself in this situation 

[Stardust She/Her]

2 minutes ago, Through The Living Grass said:

Damnit damnit damnit

guys im so freaking upset right now i feel like a rusting idiot here cause math class. Just spent like an hour or something sitting in class talking about circles and cones and stupid crap that should be like three grades below me but apparently is pre calculus and therefore makes zero sense whatsoever 

like normally i understand in class and realize when i try to actually do any of the homework or quizes or study guides or tests that i actually have zero comprehension at all, but no, now i cant even think i know what’s going on

cause im just sitting in class staring and nothing makes any rusting sense and i asked like a dozen questions in the first five minutes and everyone was staring at me like an idiot cause they were apparently stupid questions like what the hell you should know this this is like basic stuff

and im so depressed and upset not in like even my usual quiet hopeless SH sort of way but more like i want to go sob and scream and cry but i can’t because i have rusting autism and im at my church which is also my school ajd there are a million people here and theres nowhere to go

and im rusting starving cause i didnt bring lunch cause i stayed up pretty late last night as always and was slightly depressed like melancholy or reserved or something no big deal but i had zero appetite or desire to eat anything i saw in the pantry or fridge so i just didnt bring lunch and i had basically s bowl of cheerios like literally six hours ago and some coffee thats it, i had money in my pocket to go get a sandwich and then just forgot and wasnt hungry when i had time to eat

so now im starving and angry and sad and upset and really freaking frustrated cause im telling all this to a web forum of frankly nice people but im not going to say any of it to my therapist in like an hour cause idk what hes going to say its about school and food not mental stuff anything he would say is stuff i already know like i should eat food and try harder in class

But goddamn it i am so stupid ugh i dont even feel SH-y right now which is frustrating i feel like i should be feeling SH-y or judgmental of myself but really i feel like a victim for some reason even though all of this is my fault and my conscious choices to put myself in this situation 

*hugs* *reiterates willingness to listen*

You are awesome. I'm not very good with words, but that is pretty obvious to me. 

Sorry, I'm no good with advice...

[Verdance he/him]

2 minutes ago, Through The Living Star said:

*hugs* *reiterates willingness to listen*

You are awesome. I'm not very good with words, but that is pretty obvious to me. 

Sorry, I'm no good with advice...

thanks

idk sometimes not rn maybe again later 

the problem is that usually naturally math is my best subject like i understand it better or it clicks with my brain more naturally 

so this is really frustrating 

[Stardust She/Her]

Just now, Through The Living Grass said:

thanks

idk sometimes not rn maybe again later 

the problem is that usually naturally math is my best subject like i understand it better or it clicks with my brain more naturally 

so this is really frustrating 

I know how that feels. 

It's like... expectations. Normally, I'm really good at school. So whenever a get a bad score on a test (especially after studying) I start to panic.

It's started to happen more and more often with like math and the such. I'm so used to getting it that when I don't, it like physically hurts me. 

Hmmm... I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I just mean I get it. You're not strange, you're not in the wrong. You are amazing and you deserve to hear it

[Usseewa]

14 minutes ago, Through The Living Grass said:

Damnit damnit damnit

guys im so freaking upset right now i feel like a rusting idiot here cause math class. Just spent like an hour or something sitting in class talking about circles and cones and stupid crap that should be like three grades below me but apparently is pre calculus and therefore makes zero sense whatsoever 

like normally i understand in class and realize when i try to actually do any of the homework or quizes or study guides or tests that i actually have zero comprehension at all, but no, now i cant even think i know what’s going on

cause im just sitting in class staring and nothing makes any rusting sense and i asked like a dozen questions in the first five minutes and everyone was staring at me like an idiot cause they were apparently stupid questions like what the hell you should know this this is like basic stuff

and im so depressed and upset not in like even my usual quiet hopeless SH sort of way but more like i want to go sob and scream and cry but i can’t because i have rusting autism and im at my church which is also my school ajd there are a million people here and theres nowhere to go

and im rusting starving cause i didnt bring lunch cause i stayed up pretty late last night as always and was slightly depressed like melancholy or reserved or something no big deal but i had zero appetite or desire to eat anything i saw in the pantry or fridge so i just didnt bring lunch and i had basically s bowl of cheerios like literally six hours ago and some coffee thats it, i had money in my pocket to go get a sandwich and then just forgot and wasnt hungry when i had time to eat

so now im starving and angry and sad and upset and really freaking frustrated cause im telling all this to a web forum of frankly nice people but im not going to say any of it to my therapist in like an hour cause idk what hes going to say its about school and food not mental stuff anything he would say is stuff i already know like i should eat food and try harder in class

But goddamn it i am so stupid ugh i dont even feel SH-y right now which is frustrating i feel like i should be feeling SH-y or judgmental of myself but really i feel like a victim for some reason even though all of this is my fault and my conscious choices to put myself in this situation 

Yeah, I get the wanting to scream and stuff but autism.

Sigh..

I had some trouble in math too, recently, and I basically used my pencil aggressively on my paper and poked holes in it when I got stuff wrong and probably sounded like an idiot.

Maybe just wait it out cuz it can't be much longer? Idk.. But also yeah it doesn't help that you're also hungry. Maybe talk to the teacher after?

2 minutes ago, Through The Living Star said:

I know how that feels. 

It's like... expectations. Normally, I'm really good at school. So whenever a get a bad score on a test (especially after studying) I start to panic.

It's started to happen more and more often with like math and the such. I'm so used to getting it that when I don't, it like physically hurts me. 

Hmmm... I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I just mean I get it. You're not strange, you're not in the wrong. You are amazing and you deserve to hear it

So real. When I've been getting a few questions wrong, I feel like crem. Then a few minutes I feel better and have the courage to say something/raise my hand, and then make a fool of myself again.

 

It could also be that you're hungry and possibly didn't sleep well. I didn't do too well when I hadn't slept that well. I think it was the day I got 5 hours of sleep, not sure.

 

Sorry I also don't have a ton of advice, but also you can do it, I mean. You can make it through the class, then go get lunch maybe. Maybe ask someone you know if they brought, like, a granola bar or something.

[Verdance he/him]

17 minutes ago, Through The Living Star said:

I know how that feels. 

It's like... expectations. Normally, I'm really good at school. So whenever a get a bad score on a test (especially after studying) I start to panic.

It's started to happen more and more often with like math and the such. I'm so used to getting it that when I don't, it like physically hurts me. 

Hmmm... I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I just mean I get it. You're not strange, you're not in the wrong. You are amazing and you deserve to hear it

Yeah panic basically 

especially when I am trying to dig myself out of a hole of undone homework 

only physical pain is the black hole in my stomach 

uh idk i am strange when I want to be, i am definitely in the wrong in some ways, and idk could be “amazing” just not now 

10 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

Yeah, I get the wanting to scream and stuff but autism.

Sigh..

I had some trouble in math too, recently, and I basically used my pencil aggressively on my paper and poked holes in it when I got stuff wrong and probably sounded like an idiot.

Maybe just wait it out cuz it can't be much longer? Idk.. But also yeah it doesn't help that you're also hungry. Maybe talk to the teacher after?

So real. When I've been getting a few questions wrong, I feel like crem. Then a few minutes I feel better and have the courage to say something/raise my hand, and then make a fool of myself again.

 

It could also be that you're hungry and possibly didn't sleep well. I didn't do too well when I hadn't slept that well. I think it was the day I got 5 hours of sleep, not sure.

 

Sorry I also don't have a ton of advice, but also you can do it, I mean. You can make it through the class, then go get lunch maybe. Maybe ask someone you know if they brought, like, a granola bar or something.

More that i would be crying in thr bathroom and that would be great because crying helps me resolve emotions better but instead my autism is just dangling sadness out of reach so I feel irrationally hollow and angry and worthless 

yeah so anout that Im just about to tell her how i finally got a tutor for the stuff from two units ago, so that I can submit the tests and quizes from 20% of the entire class ago

yeah i might notify my mom and therapist that im going to be late so i can go buy a sandwich from harris teeter

yeah idk class just ended my teacher is very nice and idk im going to go have to teach myself at home with youtube or something cause i suck

i got six hours of sleep so maybe slight debuff but i dont feel sleepy just hungry

ugh tough it out dude just tough it out is basically all i can tell myself

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

32 minutes ago, Through The Living Grass said:

Yeah panic basically 

especially when I am trying to dig myself out of a hole of undone homework 

only physical pain is the black hole in my stomach 

uh idk i am strange when I want to be, i am definitely in the wrong in some ways, and idk could be “amazing” just not now 

More that i would be crying in thr bathroom and that would be great because crying helps me resolve emotions better but instead my autism is just dangling sadness out of reach so I feel irrationally hollow and angry and worthless 

yeah so anout that Im just about to tell her how i finally got a tutor for the stuff from two units ago, so that I can submit the tests and quizes from 20% of the entire class ago

yeah i might notify my mom and therapist that im going to be late so i can go buy a sandwich from harris teeter

yeah idk class just ended my teacher is very nice and idk im going to go have to teach myself at home with youtube or something cause i suck

i got six hours of sleep so maybe slight debuff but i dont feel sleepy just hungry

ugh tough it out dude just tough it out is basically all i can tell myself

*hugs*

Drink water! Eat food! I'm really sorry, that sounds really horrible. You're doing a great job surviving!!!

*hugs even more*

[Usseewa]

okie everyone I'd just like to say that recently I've (re?)discovered kinda a love for nature, or at least like a craving for night walks and being outside in the cool breeze. ahhhhhh so stormin' refreshing.

so i kinda maybe went on three walks today, and i actually feel kinda great, and no longer restless or deprived or stir-crazy or overwhelmed/anxious or yearning to be outside (welllll... I could always use more :3)

but point is, I literally have - in the past years - basically hated nature and usually avoided the outdoors if I could help it. whatever the causes, yeah this was me. But now in the past few months or weeks or so, I've actually started to enjoy and crave walks and being outside and such. and now I just went on three today (after...well...not getting much exercise/activity in a while) and feel great.

so uhm, psa I guess?

yay for nature!

[Verdance he/him]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

okie everyone I'd just like to say that recently I've (re?)discovered kinda a love for nature, or at least like a craving for night walks and being outside in the cool breeze. ahhhhhh so stormin' refreshing.

so i kinda maybe went on three walks today, and i actually feel kinda great, and no longer restless or deprived or stir-crazy or overwhelmed/anxious or yearning to be outside (welllll... I could always use more :3)

but point is, I literally have - in the past years - basically hated nature and usually avoided the outdoors if I could help it. whatever the causes, yeah this was me. But now in the past few months or weeks or so, I've actually started to enjoy and crave walks and being outside and such. and now I just went on three today (after...well...not getting much exercise/activity in a while) and feel great.

so uhm, psa I guess?

yay for nature!

I second and third this :3

Spoiler

Life for me is incomplete without images like this

and sleep token

[Stardust She/Her]

That's great!  

[Just-A-Stick she/her]

Hi humans, do y'all ever get super tense in a certain environment and get mad at yourself because there's no logical reason why you should be tense cuz nothing even happened but you still feel super on edge?

or that but around a certain person?

cuz i'm really struggling with that

[Myst He/Him]

This is kinda confusing, but thoughts?

Spoiler

So, I’m an enneagram type 4(I haven’t taken a test, it kinda just clicked to me) and I am very good at imagining stuff, like conversations with people and such(yes, I talk to myself) And that’s literally how I’ll fall asleep, I’ll lay down on my bed, close my eyes and imagine something.

I’d like to think I’m a rather healthy type 4, and most of the stuff I imagine(with a few exceptions that I clearly know are impossible and not real) is grounded in some in reality with how I’m feeling/what I want at that moment.

anyways, I’m making this because of some stuff recently, but the gist is basically this:

Because what I imagine is based in reality, it generally includes people I know and things I’m about to do or attempt to do(easiest example I can give is asking a girl out, I’ll imagine ways that conversation will play out before I even talk to her) and this applies to pretty much everything I care about.

And what I keep finding is happening, is that everything I imagine, no matter how grounded it is or how reasonable or whatever, it straight up never happens. And like, maybe it’s just because of my expectations, but because it keeps happening over and over, and now whenever I imagine something going well I always think, “well… there goes that” and I then feel like I’ve just made it so that that can’t happen.

Like, using my example of asking a girl out, like, I’ll imagine the fact that maybe she’ll text me back, or if I’m lucky, show literally any sign that she likes me, and then I think, “well, there goes my shot at that”

And idk what I’m expecting from this, maybe someone to know exactly what I’m talking about, I’m not sure, but well, here it is.

 

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

14 hours ago, Mist. said:

This is kinda confusing, but thoughts?

  Hide contents

So, I’m an enneagram type 4(I haven’t taken a test, it kinda just clicked to me) and I am very good at imagining stuff, like conversations with people and such(yes, I talk to myself) And that’s literally how I’ll fall asleep, I’ll lay down on my bed, close my eyes and imagine something.

I’d like to think I’m a rather healthy type 4, and most of the stuff I imagine(with a few exceptions that I clearly know are impossible and not real) is grounded in some in reality with how I’m feeling/what I want at that moment.

anyways, I’m making this because of some stuff recently, but the gist is basically this:

Because what I imagine is based in reality, it generally includes people I know and things I’m about to do or attempt to do(easiest example I can give is asking a girl out, I’ll imagine ways that conversation will play out before I even talk to her) and this applies to pretty much everything I care about.

And what I keep finding is happening, is that everything I imagine, no matter how grounded it is or how reasonable or whatever, it straight up never happens. And like, maybe it’s just because of my expectations, but because it keeps happening over and over, and now whenever I imagine something going well I always think, “well… there goes that” and I then feel like I’ve just made it so that that can’t happen.

Like, using my example of asking a girl out, like, I’ll imagine the fact that maybe she’ll text me back, or if I’m lucky, show literally any sign that she likes me, and then I think, “well, there goes my shot at that”

And idk what I’m expecting from this, maybe someone to know exactly what I’m talking about, I’m not sure, but well, here it is.

 

I have a somewhat similar experiencence (no idea what an enimgram type 4 is thou) and I find it to be somewhat different from what you are describing. When I imagine a conversation, it is usually reality that changes it, not some magical fate. When I imagine a person's response, they just usually respond differently. It's not like I imagine them responding, and then they don't respond. It is just the details that make a person real and seperate from you that change it.

Like how you can never truly know a person, in their entirety, you can never perfectly figure out what their response will be. So they could respond how you think, it just isn't likely.