Mental health club!

[echo74 she/her]

guys i kinda sorta had a really bad mental breakdown last night and i need to rant abt some stuff rq

school:

ok so i took a few online classes last semester but i didn't do any of the work and it's all due march 5th or i can pay $50 to extend the course and my mom has been really trying to push me to do it but i literally have no freetime anymore and im getting behind on irl school and it's really stressful

being sick:

i missed 3 days of school bc i was sick which isn't like the worst thing ever but im still sick and i could not stop coughing last night and i feel like i messed some stuff up

and also lots of people around me have been getting sick as well and i think its my fault and i feel bad but i just--- i don't know

and my teachers have been reaching out to me and sending me all the stuff i need to do bc i missed school and idk im just stressed

sleep:

i've been getting home around 10:30 each night then i have to shower and get ready for bed so i usually don't end up in bed at 11:30 on a good night, 12:30 if i dilly dally

i get up at 6:30 every morning

do the math

friends:

this one is a huge thing in my life

i don't feel like i have a lot of close friends anymore

i've ranted abt this before but like i don't feel like people really see me

or maybe they don't want to idk

but anyways im gonna rant abt a few friends in specific rn and then everyone else in general

friend 1- so apparently she was badmouthing ppl and she's said a lot of rude stuff to me in the past couple of months and she hates anyone who's popular or who dresses well and she doesn't really text me for anything but to ask for people's numbers and i'm annoyed and last night i asked her about her badmouthing one specific person and she said "i never gossip about people" which i know isn't true bc she gossips to me. all. the. time. and then she was talking to this guy who she thought was really annoying or whatever and then she realized he was attractive and changed her mind

friend 2- she hasn't done anything bad, it's more like i feel like i'm just not her friend anymore. i feel like she's super nice and sweet to everyone else but then to me i feel like she doesn't really care or maybe she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. and then i was crying last night and she was the only person there to comfort me and i don't know it was just kinda uncomfortable

friend 3- ok i actually don't have any beef with her except we were best friends at the beginning of the school year and then some stuff happened and now i think she's best friends with friend 2 which just sucks for me

and then i just feel like invisible to most people

like im there but they don't care

like they think i'm nice but only on a superficial level

not on a deep get-to-know you level

and i get it

im kinda a closed off person

i don't want other people to feel weighed down by my pain so i don't tell them anything

i hold back

i overthink

i don't tell people stuff bc i don't want them to know

that i'm weak

that i break sometimes

that im used to it

and i do

i push people away bc im scared

im scared of existing

im scared of taking up space

im scared of mattering to other people

but then im also scared of not existing

of not taking up space

of not mattering to anyone

and sometimes i feel like i'm on top of the world while other times i cry alone in my car bc i feel like i'm not enough

and i feel like i'm annoying

like most of the time actually

and im so sick and tired of feeling like that

i don't want to be sad or anxious or tired or sick or disappointed or lonely anymore

i want to feel like i belong

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

9 hours ago, N̶̝̦͝u̶͇̠͒́l̷̺͇͔̩̯̆͜l̸̾̿̓̚ said:

Howdy y'all, I'm kinda just here on my soapbox today to share something interesting that developed over the last little bit

Trigger warning: topics of SH and other such topics

  Hide contents

It's been a LONG 4 years. I've had a lot of downs, and reached the lowest I've ever been a few years back. I wanted to just go. I had a friend grab me and pull me away from a street. I had issues, running dull blades on my hands and arms, all such things as a depressed person would do. I put on face, I did an act. It was hell. Fast forward a year, and I got to high school. I was stressed beyond belief. My old friend group had just broken up and I had a lot on my plate at the time. I found most of my happiness in my work, and what I did then. The people, the support system, working, doing things, it made me feel great. But that only lasted for so long. Fast forward another year, to my Junior year of high school. I REALLY hoped things would be like the year before. They weren't. The old system in my Tech Crew was gone, as our heads had all graduated and left to do their things. Our new leader... treated us all like crap. Especially me. I just sunk again. During that fall show, I met a girl that Iliked, and "dated" (not really) for like a month, then some crap went down, she called me a lot of things behind my back, and I ended up breaking it off. I was beyond hurt. I just couldn't, and I had just opened myself up emotionally again. That's when I went to another girl to vent and just let it all out. She just listened. It was really nice. I got to a point of comfort where I wanted to see if she had anything. Anything at all. I learned a lot that New Year's Eve. I found someone who didn't just say what I wanted to hear, she said what I needed to hear. I hope I did that vice-versa. Move forward a few days, and I told this girl I had been absolutely crushing on her over that winter break. I panicked almost the whole day, given she wasn't able to respond till later that night. She told me she liked me too. I was shaking to the point of exhaustion, and almost passed out when I saw that message. I ended up asking her out, and from that point on panicking at every turn, hoping not to mess things up. Best part of my life so far was the moment I started dating her. It hasn't exactly been smooth sailing, but it's definitely been the best roller coaster I've ever been on. Fast forward a few months to Senior year. The year did not start off well.  A lot happened, and people fought, and caused a lot of problems. I almost quit tech. I was so close. But I endured. We lost 8 people at the end of the semester, and it was not great, but also really good at the same time. A lot of the toxicity left with the old leadership. I started feeling like I had a place there again. Fast forward a bit more, and at the height of the show, and my anniversary, I snap back at my mom for something after having a really crappy morning. My dad threatened to kick me out. Told me if I snap at my mom I would make a sh*t husband. I felt like absolute garbage. I was tempted to just leave. But I didn't. Between then and now, a lot happened. I got a lot of things done, I progressed a lot in what I want to do for a job, etc. Then comes the more bad news. My anxiety had never been as high as when I heard that GF didn't get accepted into college. I felt crushed, so did she. I was so scared. I didn't want to let her go. I didn't want to end up alone again. I care about her a lot. I almost never cry. I did that day. And the next. And the next. I went through a bit of an existential crisis about it all yesterday. I just broke down and almost shut down. So I sat and played games hoping to take my mind off it. It didn't work. But after I really thought about it all, I just felt... calm? I think that's right. My brain was quiet. I could think straight. I had almost 2 seperate personality types on and off my ADHD meds. But somehow, somewhere along the line yesterday something clicked. Those two types came and became one, and instead of fighting just gave me access to feel like I'm using my whole brain. I have energy, I feel overall just happier. I finally got it. I just had to put my life in perspective to understand it. I haven't ever felt this whole. It feels amazing. I feel like a person. I'm happy to be that way.

 Sorry if that was a lot, I just really needed to get that out. If you did read it, thank you. If you didn't, that's alright I fully understand. I guess I mostly did it just to get my thoughts out. I dunno. I know I feel better now though. 

 

Thanks for reading

 

And goodnight

ahh

*huuuuuug*

I had no idea you'd felt that way the past few days

I'm so glad you're doing better though

1 hour ago, echo74 said:

guys i kinda sorta had a really bad mental breakdown last night and i need to rant abt some stuff rq

school:

ok so i took a few online classes last semester but i didn't do any of the work and it's all due march 5th or i can pay $50 to extend the course and my mom has been really trying to push me to do it but i literally have no freetime anymore and im getting behind on irl school and it's really stressful

being sick:

i missed 3 days of school bc i was sick which isn't like the worst thing ever but im still sick and i could not stop coughing last night and i feel like i messed some stuff up

and also lots of people around me have been getting sick as well and i think its my fault and i feel bad but i just--- i don't know

and my teachers have been reaching out to me and sending me all the stuff i need to do bc i missed school and idk im just stressed

sleep:

i've been getting home around 10:30 each night then i have to shower and get ready for bed so i usually don't end up in bed at 11:30 on a good night, 12:30 if i dilly dally

i get up at 6:30 every morning

do the math

friends:

this one is a huge thing in my life

i don't feel like i have a lot of close friends anymore

i've ranted abt this before but like i don't feel like people really see me

or maybe they don't want to idk

but anyways im gonna rant abt a few friends in specific rn and then everyone else in general

friend 1- so apparently she was badmouthing ppl and she's said a lot of rude stuff to me in the past couple of months and she hates anyone who's popular or who dresses well and she doesn't really text me for anything but to ask for people's numbers and i'm annoyed and last night i asked her about her badmouthing one specific person and she said "i never gossip about people" which i know isn't true bc she gossips to me. all. the. time. and then she was talking to this guy who she thought was really annoying or whatever and then she realized he was attractive and changed her mind

friend 2- she hasn't done anything bad, it's more like i feel like i'm just not her friend anymore. i feel like she's super nice and sweet to everyone else but then to me i feel like she doesn't really care or maybe she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. and then i was crying last night and she was the only person there to comfort me and i don't know it was just kinda uncomfortable

friend 3- ok i actually don't have any beef with her except we were best friends at the beginning of the school year and then some stuff happened and now i think she's best friends with friend 2 which just sucks for me

and then i just feel like invisible to most people

like im there but they don't care

like they think i'm nice but only on a superficial level

not on a deep get-to-know you level

and i get it

im kinda a closed off person

i don't want other people to feel weighed down by my pain so i don't tell them anything

i hold back

i overthink

i don't tell people stuff bc i don't want them to know

that i'm weak

that i break sometimes

that im used to it

and i do

i push people away bc im scared

im scared of existing

im scared of taking up space

im scared of mattering to other people

but then im also scared of not existing

of not taking up space

of not mattering to anyone

and sometimes i feel like i'm on top of the world while other times i cry alone in my car bc i feel like i'm not enough

and i feel like i'm annoying

like most of the time actually

and im so sick and tired of feeling like that

i don't want to be sad or anxious or tired or sick or disappointed or lonely anymore

i want to feel like i belong

 

*huuuug*

Echo, I'm so so sorry

*biggest hugs*

I hope you can find the strength to get through all this

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

9 hours ago, N̶̝̦͝u̶͇̠͒́l̷̺͇͔̩̯̆͜l̸̾̿̓̚ said:

Howdy y'all, I'm kinda just here on my soapbox today to share something interesting that developed over the last little bit

Trigger warning: topics of SH and other such topics

  Reveal hidden contents

It's been a LONG 4 years. I've had a lot of downs, and reached the lowest I've ever been a few years back. I wanted to just go. I had a friend grab me and pull me away from a street. I had issues, running dull blades on my hands and arms, all such things as a depressed person would do. I put on face, I did an act. It was hell. Fast forward a year, and I got to high school. I was stressed beyond belief. My old friend group had just broken up and I had a lot on my plate at the time. I found most of my happiness in my work, and what I did then. The people, the support system, working, doing things, it made me feel great. But that only lasted for so long. Fast forward another year, to my Junior year of high school. I REALLY hoped things would be like the year before. They weren't. The old system in my Tech Crew was gone, as our heads had all graduated and left to do their things. Our new leader... treated us all like crap. Especially me. I just sunk again. During that fall show, I met a girl that Iliked, and "dated" (not really) for like a month, then some crap went down, she called me a lot of things behind my back, and I ended up breaking it off. I was beyond hurt. I just couldn't, and I had just opened myself up emotionally again. That's when I went to another girl to vent and just let it all out. She just listened. It was really nice. I got to a point of comfort where I wanted to see if she had anything. Anything at all. I learned a lot that New Year's Eve. I found someone who didn't just say what I wanted to hear, she said what I needed to hear. I hope I did that vice-versa. Move forward a few days, and I told this girl I had been absolutely crushing on her over that winter break. I panicked almost the whole day, given she wasn't able to respond till later that night. She told me she liked me too. I was shaking to the point of exhaustion, and almost passed out when I saw that message. I ended up asking her out, and from that point on panicking at every turn, hoping not to mess things up. Best part of my life so far was the moment I started dating her. It hasn't exactly been smooth sailing, but it's definitely been the best roller coaster I've ever been on. Fast forward a few months to Senior year. The year did not start off well.  A lot happened, and people fought, and caused a lot of problems. I almost quit tech. I was so close. But I endured. We lost 8 people at the end of the semester, and it was not great, but also really good at the same time. A lot of the toxicity left with the old leadership. I started feeling like I had a place there again. Fast forward a bit more, and at the height of the show, and my anniversary, I snap back at my mom for something after having a really crappy morning. My dad threatened to kick me out. Told me if I snap at my mom I would make a sh*t husband. I felt like absolute garbage. I was tempted to just leave. But I didn't. Between then and now, a lot happened. I got a lot of things done, I progressed a lot in what I want to do for a job, etc. Then comes the more bad news. My anxiety had never been as high as when I heard that GF didn't get accepted into college. I felt crushed, so did she. I was so scared. I didn't want to let her go. I didn't want to end up alone again. I care about her a lot. I almost never cry. I did that day. And the next. And the next. I went through a bit of an existential crisis about it all yesterday. I just broke down and almost shut down. So I sat and played games hoping to take my mind off it. It didn't work. But after I really thought about it all, I just felt... calm? I think that's right. My brain was quiet. I could think straight. I had almost 2 seperate personality types on and off my ADHD meds. But somehow, somewhere along the line yesterday something clicked. Those two types came and became one, and instead of fighting just gave me access to feel like I'm using my whole brain. I have energy, I feel overall just happier. I finally got it. I just had to put my life in perspective to understand it. I haven't ever felt this whole. It feels amazing. I feel like a person. I'm happy to be that way.

 Sorry if that was a lot, I just really needed to get that out. If you did read it, thank you. If you didn't, that's alright I fully understand. I guess I mostly did it just to get my thoughts out. I dunno. I know I feel better now though. 

 

Thanks for reading

 

And goodnight

The part about Glass is actually rly cute  

I’m so glad things have been clicking for you  I’m sorry you had to go through all that  

1 hour ago, echo74 said:

guys i kinda sorta had a really bad mental breakdown last night and i need to rant abt some stuff rq

school:

ok so i took a few online classes last semester but i didn't do any of the work and it's all due march 5th or i can pay $50 to extend the course and my mom has been really trying to push me to do it but i literally have no freetime anymore and im getting behind on irl school and it's really stressful

being sick:

i missed 3 days of school bc i was sick which isn't like the worst thing ever but im still sick and i could not stop coughing last night and i feel like i messed some stuff up

and also lots of people around me have been getting sick as well and i think its my fault and i feel bad but i just--- i don't know

and my teachers have been reaching out to me and sending me all the stuff i need to do bc i missed school and idk im just stressed

sleep:

i've been getting home around 10:30 each night then i have to shower and get ready for bed so i usually don't end up in bed at 11:30 on a good night, 12:30 if i dilly dally

i get up at 6:30 every morning

do the math

friends:

this one is a huge thing in my life

i don't feel like i have a lot of close friends anymore

i've ranted abt this before but like i don't feel like people really see me

or maybe they don't want to idk

but anyways im gonna rant abt a few friends in specific rn and then everyone else in general

friend 1- so apparently she was badmouthing ppl and she's said a lot of rude stuff to me in the past couple of months and she hates anyone who's popular or who dresses well and she doesn't really text me for anything but to ask for people's numbers and i'm annoyed and last night i asked her about her badmouthing one specific person and she said "i never gossip about people" which i know isn't true bc she gossips to me. all. the. time. and then she was talking to this guy who she thought was really annoying or whatever and then she realized he was attractive and changed her mind

friend 2- she hasn't done anything bad, it's more like i feel like i'm just not her friend anymore. i feel like she's super nice and sweet to everyone else but then to me i feel like she doesn't really care or maybe she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. and then i was crying last night and she was the only person there to comfort me and i don't know it was just kinda uncomfortable

friend 3- ok i actually don't have any beef with her except we were best friends at the beginning of the school year and then some stuff happened and now i think she's best friends with friend 2 which just sucks for me

and then i just feel like invisible to most people

like im there but they don't care

like they think i'm nice but only on a superficial level

not on a deep get-to-know you level

and i get it

im kinda a closed off person

i don't want other people to feel weighed down by my pain so i don't tell them anything

i hold back

i overthink

i don't tell people stuff bc i don't want them to know

that i'm weak

that i break sometimes

that im used to it

and i do

i push people away bc im scared

im scared of existing

im scared of taking up space

im scared of mattering to other people

but then im also scared of not existing

of not taking up space

of not mattering to anyone

and sometimes i feel like i'm on top of the world while other times i cry alone in my car bc i feel like i'm not enough

and i feel like i'm annoying

like most of the time actually

and im so sick and tired of feeling like that

i don't want to be sad or anxious or tired or sick or disappointed or lonely anymore

i want to feel like i belong

*tight hugs*

Hey, if you ever wanna chat about anything drop me a line ok? (Digitally, I mean) 

Honestly nothing you could say could shock me at this point; and not because of you 

 

[Wittles he/him]

Do any of you ever feel like you're just out of it? like you can't seem to communicate right because there's something that you are just completely missing?

(spoiler'd for: deranged rambling of someone who really needs to get their act together)

Spoiler

Everyone around me seems to be doing good and they're my friends, I'm happy for them, but they all seem to just be going about doing things with their friends, who I also know. From an outside perspective, I have friends, and I'm good at making them, so I might be exaggerating when I say that I don't know how to be friends with people.

Sure I can have a good conversation, but it never really feels like I can really be a friend that is able to really connect and actually spend time with people. I spent a long time blaming myself for that, but I think it comes down to some really screwed up stuff that happened over the last few years that pushed me down a metaphorical well and quite possibly left me with PTSD and definitely made it significantly harder to trust people.

I really don't know how to be a friend to people in a way that matters, and I have no idea how to reconnect with people who've drifted away because I'm too much of a coward to speak up for myself or say anything. 

There are so many people I used to be friends with, but gradually drifted away because I don't know how to reach out. I really don't know if it's really bad anxiety or some other undiagnosed disorder, or just me being paranoid, but it feels like the few people I'm still friends with have stopped seeing me as a friend. I know it's not true but it still feels that way and it's seriously getting in the way of me doing anything to improve the relationship.

So many things came crashing down and I don't know if I can really pull anything away from the wreckage. I don't know what to do. I've gotten better, but there's still so many things I need to change if I want things to be different and it's overwhelming. This feeling will probably pass, (as it always does) until I talk to someone again and I'm reminded of how I am instead of the idealized version of me that really only lives in my head.

I don't want to be alone, but it looks like I can't bring myself to actually do anything about it, so oh well. I can always just tell myself things will be different tomorrow. Even though it's a lie, it's comfortable

 

Be kind to yourselves

Please

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

2 hours ago, echo74 said:

guys i kinda sorta had a really bad mental breakdown last night and i need to rant abt some stuff rq

school:

ok so i took a few online classes last semester but i didn't do any of the work and it's all due march 5th or i can pay $50 to extend the course and my mom has been really trying to push me to do it but i literally have no freetime anymore and im getting behind on irl school and it's really stressful

being sick:

i missed 3 days of school bc i was sick which isn't like the worst thing ever but im still sick and i could not stop coughing last night and i feel like i messed some stuff up

and also lots of people around me have been getting sick as well and i think its my fault and i feel bad but i just--- i don't know

and my teachers have been reaching out to me and sending me all the stuff i need to do bc i missed school and idk im just stressed

sleep:

i've been getting home around 10:30 each night then i have to shower and get ready for bed so i usually don't end up in bed at 11:30 on a good night, 12:30 if i dilly dally

i get up at 6:30 every morning

do the math

friends:

this one is a huge thing in my life

i don't feel like i have a lot of close friends anymore

i've ranted abt this before but like i don't feel like people really see me

or maybe they don't want to idk

but anyways im gonna rant abt a few friends in specific rn and then everyone else in general

friend 1- so apparently she was badmouthing ppl and she's said a lot of rude stuff to me in the past couple of months and she hates anyone who's popular or who dresses well and she doesn't really text me for anything but to ask for people's numbers and i'm annoyed and last night i asked her about her badmouthing one specific person and she said "i never gossip about people" which i know isn't true bc she gossips to me. all. the. time. and then she was talking to this guy who she thought was really annoying or whatever and then she realized he was attractive and changed her mind

friend 2- she hasn't done anything bad, it's more like i feel like i'm just not her friend anymore. i feel like she's super nice and sweet to everyone else but then to me i feel like she doesn't really care or maybe she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. and then i was crying last night and she was the only person there to comfort me and i don't know it was just kinda uncomfortable

friend 3- ok i actually don't have any beef with her except we were best friends at the beginning of the school year and then some stuff happened and now i think she's best friends with friend 2 which just sucks for me

and then i just feel like invisible to most people

like im there but they don't care

like they think i'm nice but only on a superficial level

not on a deep get-to-know you level

and i get it

im kinda a closed off person

i don't want other people to feel weighed down by my pain so i don't tell them anything

i hold back

i overthink

i don't tell people stuff bc i don't want them to know

that i'm weak

that i break sometimes

that im used to it

and i do

i push people away bc im scared

im scared of existing

im scared of taking up space

im scared of mattering to other people

but then im also scared of not existing

of not taking up space

of not mattering to anyone

and sometimes i feel like i'm on top of the world while other times i cry alone in my car bc i feel like i'm not enough

and i feel like i'm annoying

like most of the time actually

and im so sick and tired of feeling like that

i don't want to be sad or anxious or tired or sick or disappointed or lonely anymore

i want to feel like i belong

First I’d like to say *huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug*

second maybe try rekindling the friendship with friend two she sounds like she still wants to be your friend and cares for you.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

27 minutes ago, Wittles said:

Do any of you ever feel like you're just out of it? like you can't seem to communicate right because there's something that you are just completely missing?

(spoiler'd for: deranged rambling of someone who really needs to get their act together)

  Reveal hidden contents

Everyone around me seems to be doing good and they're my friends, I'm happy for them, but they all seem to just be going about doing things with their friends, who I also know. From an outside perspective, I have friends, and I'm good at making them, so I might be exaggerating when I say that I don't know how to be friends with people.

Sure I can have a good conversation, but it never really feels like I can really be a friend that is able to really connect and actually spend time with people. I spent a long time blaming myself for that, but I think it comes down to some really screwed up stuff that happened over the last few years that pushed me down a metaphorical well and quite possibly left me with PTSD and definitely made it significantly harder to trust people.

I really don't know how to be a friend to people in a way that matters, and I have no idea how to reconnect with people who've drifted away because I'm too much of a coward to speak up for myself or say anything. 

There are so many people I used to be friends with, but gradually drifted away because I don't know how to reach out. I really don't know if it's really bad anxiety or some other undiagnosed disorder, or just me being paranoid, but it feels like the few people I'm still friends with have stopped seeing me as a friend. I know it's not true but it still feels that way and it's seriously getting in the way of me doing anything to improve the relationship.

So many things came crashing down and I don't know if I can really pull anything away from the wreckage. I don't know what to do. I've gotten better, but there's still so many things I need to change if I want things to be different and it's overwhelming. This feeling will probably pass, (as it always does) until I talk to someone again and I'm reminded of how I am instead of the idealized version of me that really only lives in my head.

I don't want to be alone, but it looks like I can't bring myself to actually do anything about it, so oh well. I can always just tell myself things will be different tomorrow. Even though it's a lie, it's comfortable

 

Be kind to yourselves

Please

*hugs* 

[Existential]

3 hours ago, echo74 said:

guys i kinda sorta had a really bad mental breakdown last night and i need to rant abt some stuff rq

school:

ok so i took a few online classes last semester but i didn't do any of the work and it's all due march 5th or i can pay $50 to extend the course and my mom has been really trying to push me to do it but i literally have no freetime anymore and im getting behind on irl school and it's really stressful

being sick:

i missed 3 days of school bc i was sick which isn't like the worst thing ever but im still sick and i could not stop coughing last night and i feel like i messed some stuff up

and also lots of people around me have been getting sick as well and i think its my fault and i feel bad but i just--- i don't know

and my teachers have been reaching out to me and sending me all the stuff i need to do bc i missed school and idk im just stressed

sleep:

i've been getting home around 10:30 each night then i have to shower and get ready for bed so i usually don't end up in bed at 11:30 on a good night, 12:30 if i dilly dally

i get up at 6:30 every morning

do the math

friends:

this one is a huge thing in my life

i don't feel like i have a lot of close friends anymore

i've ranted abt this before but like i don't feel like people really see me

or maybe they don't want to idk

but anyways im gonna rant abt a few friends in specific rn and then everyone else in general

friend 1- so apparently she was badmouthing ppl and she's said a lot of rude stuff to me in the past couple of months and she hates anyone who's popular or who dresses well and she doesn't really text me for anything but to ask for people's numbers and i'm annoyed and last night i asked her about her badmouthing one specific person and she said "i never gossip about people" which i know isn't true bc she gossips to me. all. the. time. and then she was talking to this guy who she thought was really annoying or whatever and then she realized he was attractive and changed her mind

friend 2- she hasn't done anything bad, it's more like i feel like i'm just not her friend anymore. i feel like she's super nice and sweet to everyone else but then to me i feel like she doesn't really care or maybe she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. and then i was crying last night and she was the only person there to comfort me and i don't know it was just kinda uncomfortable

friend 3- ok i actually don't have any beef with her except we were best friends at the beginning of the school year and then some stuff happened and now i think she's best friends with friend 2 which just sucks for me

and then i just feel like invisible to most people

like im there but they don't care

like they think i'm nice but only on a superficial level

not on a deep get-to-know you level

and i get it

im kinda a closed off person

i don't want other people to feel weighed down by my pain so i don't tell them anything

i hold back

i overthink

i don't tell people stuff bc i don't want them to know

that i'm weak

that i break sometimes

that im used to it

and i do

i push people away bc im scared

im scared of existing

im scared of taking up space

im scared of mattering to other people

but then im also scared of not existing

of not taking up space

of not mattering to anyone

and sometimes i feel like i'm on top of the world while other times i cry alone in my car bc i feel like i'm not enough

and i feel like i'm annoying

like most of the time actually

and im so sick and tired of feeling like that

i don't want to be sad or anxious or tired or sick or disappointed or lonely anymore

i want to feel like i belong

*big hug*

[echo74 she/her]

54 minutes ago, Wittles said:

Do any of you ever feel like you're just out of it? like you can't seem to communicate right because there's something that you are just completely missing?

(spoiler'd for: deranged rambling of someone who really needs to get their act together)

  Reveal hidden contents

Everyone around me seems to be doing good and they're my friends, I'm happy for them, but they all seem to just be going about doing things with their friends, who I also know. From an outside perspective, I have friends, and I'm good at making them, so I might be exaggerating when I say that I don't know how to be friends with people.

Sure I can have a good conversation, but it never really feels like I can really be a friend that is able to really connect and actually spend time with people. I spent a long time blaming myself for that, but I think it comes down to some really screwed up stuff that happened over the last few years that pushed me down a metaphorical well and quite possibly left me with PTSD and definitely made it significantly harder to trust people.

I really don't know how to be a friend to people in a way that matters, and I have no idea how to reconnect with people who've drifted away because I'm too much of a coward to speak up for myself or say anything. 

There are so many people I used to be friends with, but gradually drifted away because I don't know how to reach out. I really don't know if it's really bad anxiety or some other undiagnosed disorder, or just me being paranoid, but it feels like the few people I'm still friends with have stopped seeing me as a friend. I know it's not true but it still feels that way and it's seriously getting in the way of me doing anything to improve the relationship.

So many things came crashing down and I don't know if I can really pull anything away from the wreckage. I don't know what to do. I've gotten better, but there's still so many things I need to change if I want things to be different and it's overwhelming. This feeling will probably pass, (as it always does) until I talk to someone again and I'm reminded of how I am instead of the idealized version of me that really only lives in my head.

I don't want to be alone, but it looks like I can't bring myself to actually do anything about it, so oh well. I can always just tell myself things will be different tomorrow. Even though it's a lie, it's comfortable

 

Be kind to yourselves

Please

*hug*

i can relate to that sometimes

im really sorry that sounds hard

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

6 hours ago, Wittles said:

Do any of you ever feel like you're just out of it? like you can't seem to communicate right because there's something that you are just completely missing?

(spoiler'd for: deranged rambling of someone who really needs to get their act together)

  Reveal hidden contents

Everyone around me seems to be doing good and they're my friends, I'm happy for them, but they all seem to just be going about doing things with their friends, who I also know. From an outside perspective, I have friends, and I'm good at making them, so I might be exaggerating when I say that I don't know how to be friends with people.

Sure I can have a good conversation, but it never really feels like I can really be a friend that is able to really connect and actually spend time with people. I spent a long time blaming myself for that, but I think it comes down to some really screwed up stuff that happened over the last few years that pushed me down a metaphorical well and quite possibly left me with PTSD and definitely made it significantly harder to trust people.

I really don't know how to be a friend to people in a way that matters, and I have no idea how to reconnect with people who've drifted away because I'm too much of a coward to speak up for myself or say anything. 

There are so many people I used to be friends with, but gradually drifted away because I don't know how to reach out. I really don't know if it's really bad anxiety or some other undiagnosed disorder, or just me being paranoid, but it feels like the few people I'm still friends with have stopped seeing me as a friend. I know it's not true but it still feels that way and it's seriously getting in the way of me doing anything to improve the relationship.

So many things came crashing down and I don't know if I can really pull anything away from the wreckage. I don't know what to do. I've gotten better, but there's still so many things I need to change if I want things to be different and it's overwhelming. This feeling will probably pass, (as it always does) until I talk to someone again and I'm reminded of how I am instead of the idealized version of me that really only lives in my head.

I don't want to be alone, but it looks like I can't bring myself to actually do anything about it, so oh well. I can always just tell myself things will be different tomorrow. Even though it's a lie, it's comfortable

 

Be kind to yourselves

Please

*biggest hugs*

that's so real

[Shatter He/Him]

I need to get some things off my chest. This will be a mess. Warning: Mentions of suicidal thoughts.

Spoiler

About me

I'm in Grade 12, and I have high functioning autism and ADHD. I am high functioning, which means I can function in normal society, but I still have impulsivity and time management challenges. (I call them challenges and not disabilities.)

Home

This summer, I'm being kicked out of my parent's house because of my impulsivity. My parents just rub me the total wrong way sometimes. You ever get that feeling like “ARGH!!! JUST BE QUIET, PLEASE!!” but you can't say it and your stress levels go up and up and up until you explode like a bomb? That's what I. feel like so sometimes yell, and I used to hit my sisters (I never mean it, but I'm not in my brain when I 'explode'. It's like I'm sitting in the back seat, unable to do anything and only able to watch. I barely remember what happened afterwards). I've gotten much better, but my parent's still want me out.  I'm super worried even though they reassured me saying that we'll all figure out where I'll be staying etc. I'll be allowed to visit for Shabbos (the sabbath) and Yom Tovs (Jewish Holidays) but other than that I'm on my own.

College and Future

I will be going to the vet assistant program at my local college. I'll hopefully be in residence in college, but keeping Kosher will be very difficult. Kosher food is much more expensive here in the rest of Canada than in Toronto or the US. My parents will be paying for each course as I finish it, but I don't know how much they will be supporting me.

My Mental Health

I sometime just feel like I'm alone. I'm still friends with my two friends, but they seem to have gotten closer together while I was at public school (went there for Grade 10 and 11) and I can't seem to be able to get back closer to them. I used to sometimes feel suicidal and wonder what would happen if I killed myself, but I didn't go through because I love my cat. Yes. My cat convinced me to stay alive. It was that bad. I'm past that part of my life, but I'm just emotionless sometimes, but not all the time. I'm not sad, happy, or anything. I'm just empty. I feel like a vacuum or that empty box over there. You know how people say nothing is something? I don't have nothing in me and I don't have something in me. I just really need a support network, but can't find any. I just feel helpless and sad. I don't like it. Therapists don't help me because they way my brain works is that I need to know the person I'm talking to, and they just didn't help. I need to trust and know my support net. But I don't have much of one. I can't get the courage to talk to anyone else about all of it. I don't want to worry them or burden them. My parents try to help me, but they can't do it all, and they don't seem to understand.

This is the most I've ever said to anyone about this.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

29 minutes ago, The Shattered Cosmere said:

I need to get some things off my chest. This will be a mess. Warning: Mentions of suicidal thoughts.

  Reveal hidden contents

About me

I'm in Grade 12, and I have high functioning autism and ADHD. I am high functioning, which means I can function in normal society, but I still have impulsivity and time management challenges. (I call them challenges and not disabilities.)

Home

This summer, I'm being kicked out of my parent's house because of my impulsivity. My parents just rub me the total wrong way sometimes. You ever get that feeling like “ARGH!!! JUST BE QUIET, PLEASE!!” but you can't say it and your stress levels go up and up and up until you explode like a bomb? That's what I. feel like so sometimes yell, and I used to hit my sisters (I never mean it, but I'm not in my brain when I 'explode'. It's like I'm sitting in the back seat, unable to do anything and only able to watch. I barely remember what happened afterwards). I've gotten much better, but my parent's still want me out.  I'm super worried even though they reassured me saying that we'll all figure out where I'll be staying etc. I'll be allowed to visit for Shabbos (the sabbath) and Yom Tovs (Jewish Holidays) but other than that I'm on my own.

College and Future

I will be going to the vet assistant program at my local college. I'll hopefully be in residence in college, but keeping Kosher will be very difficult. Kosher food is much more expensive here in the rest of Canada than in Toronto or the US. My parents will be paying for each course as I finish it, but I don't know how much they will be supporting me.

My Mental Health

I sometime just feel like I'm alone. I'm still friends with my two friends, but they seem to have gotten closer together while I was at public school (went there for Grade 10 and 11) and I can't seem to be able to get back closer to them. I used to sometimes feel suicidal and wonder what would happen if I killed myself, but I didn't go through because I love my cat. Yes. My cat convinced me to stay alive. It was that bad. I'm past that part of my life, but I'm just emotionless sometimes, but not all the time. I'm not sad, happy, or anything. I'm just empty. I feel like a vacuum or that empty box over there. You know how people say nothing is something? I don't have nothing in me and I don't have something in me. I just really need a support network, but can't find any. I just feel helpless and sad. I don't like it. Therapists don't help me because they way my brain works is that I need to know the person I'm talking to, and they just didn't help. I need to trust and know my support net. But I don't have much of one. I can't get the courage to talk to anyone else about all of it. I don't want to worry them or burden them. My parents try to help me, but they can't do it all, and they don't seem to understand.

This is the most I've ever said to anyone about this.

*hugs* 

I’m so sorry  

Hey, feel free to pm me. That sounds really hard… 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 hour ago, The Shattered Cosmere said:

I need to get some things off my chest. This will be a mess. Warning: Mentions of suicidal thoughts.

  Hide contents

About me

I'm in Grade 12, and I have high functioning autism and ADHD. I am high functioning, which means I can function in normal society, but I still have impulsivity and time management challenges. (I call them challenges and not disabilities.)

Home

This summer, I'm being kicked out of my parent's house because of my impulsivity. My parents just rub me the total wrong way sometimes. You ever get that feeling like “ARGH!!! JUST BE QUIET, PLEASE!!” but you can't say it and your stress levels go up and up and up until you explode like a bomb? That's what I. feel like so sometimes yell, and I used to hit my sisters (I never mean it, but I'm not in my brain when I 'explode'. It's like I'm sitting in the back seat, unable to do anything and only able to watch. I barely remember what happened afterwards). I've gotten much better, but my parent's still want me out.  I'm super worried even though they reassured me saying that we'll all figure out where I'll be staying etc. I'll be allowed to visit for Shabbos (the sabbath) and Yom Tovs (Jewish Holidays) but other than that I'm on my own.

College and Future

I will be going to the vet assistant program at my local college. I'll hopefully be in residence in college, but keeping Kosher will be very difficult. Kosher food is much more expensive here in the rest of Canada than in Toronto or the US. My parents will be paying for each course as I finish it, but I don't know how much they will be supporting me.

My Mental Health

I sometime just feel like I'm alone. I'm still friends with my two friends, but they seem to have gotten closer together while I was at public school (went there for Grade 10 and 11) and I can't seem to be able to get back closer to them. I used to sometimes feel suicidal and wonder what would happen if I killed myself, but I didn't go through because I love my cat. Yes. My cat convinced me to stay alive. It was that bad. I'm past that part of my life, but I'm just emotionless sometimes, but not all the time. I'm not sad, happy, or anything. I'm just empty. I feel like a vacuum or that empty box over there. You know how people say nothing is something? I don't have nothing in me and I don't have something in me. I just really need a support network, but can't find any. I just feel helpless and sad. I don't like it. Therapists don't help me because they way my brain works is that I need to know the person I'm talking to, and they just didn't help. I need to trust and know my support net. But I don't have much of one. I can't get the courage to talk to anyone else about all of it. I don't want to worry them or burden them. My parents try to help me, but they can't do it all, and they don't seem to understand.

This is the most I've ever said to anyone about this.

I feel a lot of that

*hug*

If you need anything you can PM me

[echo74 she/her]

3 hours ago, The Shattered Cosmere said:

I need to get some things off my chest. This will be a mess. Warning: Mentions of suicidal thoughts.

  Reveal hidden contents

About me

I'm in Grade 12, and I have high functioning autism and ADHD. I am high functioning, which means I can function in normal society, but I still have impulsivity and time management challenges. (I call them challenges and not disabilities.)

Home

This summer, I'm being kicked out of my parent's house because of my impulsivity. My parents just rub me the total wrong way sometimes. You ever get that feeling like “ARGH!!! JUST BE QUIET, PLEASE!!” but you can't say it and your stress levels go up and up and up until you explode like a bomb? That's what I. feel like so sometimes yell, and I used to hit my sisters (I never mean it, but I'm not in my brain when I 'explode'. It's like I'm sitting in the back seat, unable to do anything and only able to watch. I barely remember what happened afterwards). I've gotten much better, but my parent's still want me out.  I'm super worried even though they reassured me saying that we'll all figure out where I'll be staying etc. I'll be allowed to visit for Shabbos (the sabbath) and Yom Tovs (Jewish Holidays) but other than that I'm on my own.

College and Future

I will be going to the vet assistant program at my local college. I'll hopefully be in residence in college, but keeping Kosher will be very difficult. Kosher food is much more expensive here in the rest of Canada than in Toronto or the US. My parents will be paying for each course as I finish it, but I don't know how much they will be supporting me.

My Mental Health

I sometime just feel like I'm alone. I'm still friends with my two friends, but they seem to have gotten closer together while I was at public school (went there for Grade 10 and 11) and I can't seem to be able to get back closer to them. I used to sometimes feel suicidal and wonder what would happen if I killed myself, but I didn't go through because I love my cat. Yes. My cat convinced me to stay alive. It was that bad. I'm past that part of my life, but I'm just emotionless sometimes, but not all the time. I'm not sad, happy, or anything. I'm just empty. I feel like a vacuum or that empty box over there. You know how people say nothing is something? I don't have nothing in me and I don't have something in me. I just really need a support network, but can't find any. I just feel helpless and sad. I don't like it. Therapists don't help me because they way my brain works is that I need to know the person I'm talking to, and they just didn't help. I need to trust and know my support net. But I don't have much of one. I can't get the courage to talk to anyone else about all of it. I don't want to worry them or burden them. My parents try to help me, but they can't do it all, and they don't seem to understand.

This is the most I've ever said to anyone about this.

*big hugs*

that sounds like a lot

im really sorry

[Through the Living Hope]

On 2/21/2025 at 9:32 AM, Magi said:

OH YEAH LOL

Plus like, I can and will listen to the same song over and over again for an hour and a half, and I don't think that's considered normal behavior.

Nah I do this too. Like I hear a new song and repeat it for so long. 

[Keke They/he]

12 hours ago, The Shattered Cosmere said:

I need to get some things off my chest. This will be a mess. Warning: Mentions of suicidal thoughts.

  Hide contents

About me

I'm in Grade 12, and I have high functioning autism and ADHD. I am high functioning, which means I can function in normal society, but I still have impulsivity and time management challenges. (I call them challenges and not disabilities.)

Home

This summer, I'm being kicked out of my parent's house because of my impulsivity. My parents just rub me the total wrong way sometimes. You ever get that feeling like “ARGH!!! JUST BE QUIET, PLEASE!!” but you can't say it and your stress levels go up and up and up until you explode like a bomb? That's what I. feel like so sometimes yell, and I used to hit my sisters (I never mean it, but I'm not in my brain when I 'explode'. It's like I'm sitting in the back seat, unable to do anything and only able to watch. I barely remember what happened afterwards). I've gotten much better, but my parent's still want me out.  I'm super worried even though they reassured me saying that we'll all figure out where I'll be staying etc. I'll be allowed to visit for Shabbos (the sabbath) and Yom Tovs (Jewish Holidays) but other than that I'm on my own.

College and Future

I will be going to the vet assistant program at my local college. I'll hopefully be in residence in college, but keeping Kosher will be very difficult. Kosher food is much more expensive here in the rest of Canada than in Toronto or the US. My parents will be paying for each course as I finish it, but I don't know how much they will be supporting me.

My Mental Health

I sometime just feel like I'm alone. I'm still friends with my two friends, but they seem to have gotten closer together while I was at public school (went there for Grade 10 and 11) and I can't seem to be able to get back closer to them. I used to sometimes feel suicidal and wonder what would happen if I killed myself, but I didn't go through because I love my cat. Yes. My cat convinced me to stay alive. It was that bad. I'm past that part of my life, but I'm just emotionless sometimes, but not all the time. I'm not sad, happy, or anything. I'm just empty. I feel like a vacuum or that empty box over there. You know how people say nothing is something? I don't have nothing in me and I don't have something in me. I just really need a support network, but can't find any. I just feel helpless and sad. I don't like it. Therapists don't help me because they way my brain works is that I need to know the person I'm talking to, and they just didn't help. I need to trust and know my support net. But I don't have much of one. I can't get the courage to talk to anyone else about all of it. I don't want to worry them or burden them. My parents try to help me, but they can't do it all, and they don't seem to understand.

This is the most I've ever said to anyone about this.

That sounds. Horrible. *huggsdss* storms. *hugs* pm me if anything happens. *hugs* we love you here.

[Mags she/they]

I've actually had a really good weekend, it's been super refreshing and fun. Which is a bit of a surprise because this week was really rough.

It does get better guys, you will be warm again 

[#1 Taln Fan he/him]

Reminder @ everyone

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

On 2/22/2025 at 7:39 PM, Wittles said:

Do any of you ever feel like you're just out of it? like you can't seem to communicate right because there's something that you are just completely missing?

(spoiler'd for: deranged rambling of someone who really needs to get their act together)

  Reveal hidden contents

Everyone around me seems to be doing good and they're my friends, I'm happy for them, but they all seem to just be going about doing things with their friends, who I also know. From an outside perspective, I have friends, and I'm good at making them, so I might be exaggerating when I say that I don't know how to be friends with people.

Sure I can have a good conversation, but it never really feels like I can really be a friend that is able to really connect and actually spend time with people. I spent a long time blaming myself for that, but I think it comes down to some really screwed up stuff that happened over the last few years that pushed me down a metaphorical well and quite possibly left me with PTSD and definitely made it significantly harder to trust people.

I really don't know how to be a friend to people in a way that matters, and I have no idea how to reconnect with people who've drifted away because I'm too much of a coward to speak up for myself or say anything. 

There are so many people I used to be friends with, but gradually drifted away because I don't know how to reach out. I really don't know if it's really bad anxiety or some other undiagnosed disorder, or just me being paranoid, but it feels like the few people I'm still friends with have stopped seeing me as a friend. I know it's not true but it still feels that way and it's seriously getting in the way of me doing anything to improve the relationship.

So many things came crashing down and I don't know if I can really pull anything away from the wreckage. I don't know what to do. I've gotten better, but there's still so many things I need to change if I want things to be different and it's overwhelming. This feeling will probably pass, (as it always does) until I talk to someone again and I'm reminded of how I am instead of the idealized version of me that really only lives in my head.

I don't want to be alone, but it looks like I can't bring myself to actually do anything about it, so oh well. I can always just tell myself things will be different tomorrow. Even though it's a lie, it's comfortable

 

Be kind to yourselves

Please

It’s okay. Personally, I’ve always struggled with making friends, and that’s fine. Not everyone thinks the same way you do; it’s the way you see yourself that matters. I’ve seen a lot of posts about anxiety and feelings of worthlessness on this thread, and though this may not apply to you, you guys need to remember that You. Are. Special. There is no one in the world that is like you. Fitting in doesn’t mean being like everyone else; it means finding a place where you are accepted for who you are. And there will always be a place like that. I will admit, I have struggled with this feeling myself, but I have come out of it a more confident person knowing I am okay with who I am (most of the time, at least).

16 hours ago, The Shattered Cosmere said:

I need to get some things off my chest. This will be a mess. Warning: Mentions of suicidal thoughts.

  Hide contents

About me

I'm in Grade 12, and I have high functioning autism and ADHD. I am high functioning, which means I can function in normal society, but I still have impulsivity and time management challenges. (I call them challenges and not disabilities.)

Home

This summer, I'm being kicked out of my parent's house because of my impulsivity. My parents just rub me the total wrong way sometimes. You ever get that feeling like “ARGH!!! JUST BE QUIET, PLEASE!!” but you can't say it and your stress levels go up and up and up until you explode like a bomb? That's what I. feel like so sometimes yell, and I used to hit my sisters (I never mean it, but I'm not in my brain when I 'explode'. It's like I'm sitting in the back seat, unable to do anything and only able to watch. I barely remember what happened afterwards). I've gotten much better, but my parent's still want me out.  I'm super worried even though they reassured me saying that we'll all figure out where I'll be staying etc. I'll be allowed to visit for Shabbos (the sabbath) and Yom Tovs (Jewish Holidays) but other than that I'm on my own.

College and Future

I will be going to the vet assistant program at my local college. I'll hopefully be in residence in college, but keeping Kosher will be very difficult. Kosher food is much more expensive here in the rest of Canada than in Toronto or the US. My parents will be paying for each course as I finish it, but I don't know how much they will be supporting me.

My Mental Health

I sometime just feel like I'm alone. I'm still friends with my two friends, but they seem to have gotten closer together while I was at public school (went there for Grade 10 and 11) and I can't seem to be able to get back closer to them. I used to sometimes feel suicidal and wonder what would happen if I killed myself, but I didn't go through because I love my cat. Yes. My cat convinced me to stay alive. It was that bad. I'm past that part of my life, but I'm just emotionless sometimes, but not all the time. I'm not sad, happy, or anything. I'm just empty. I feel like a vacuum or that empty box over there. You know how people say nothing is something? I don't have nothing in me and I don't have something in me. I just really need a support network, but can't find any. I just feel helpless and sad. I don't like it. Therapists don't help me because they way my brain works is that I need to know the person I'm talking to, and they just didn't help. I need to trust and know my support net. But I don't have much of one. I can't get the courage to talk to anyone else about all of it. I don't want to worry them or burden them. My parents try to help me, but they can't do it all, and they don't seem to understand.

This is the most I've ever said to anyone about this.

The above applies to you as well. I can’t claim to know exactly how you feel, but I have struggled with (and sometimes still do) many of those feelings. I haven’t been diagnosed with anything, but that’s cause I tend to keep it all in my head. I have serious thanatophobia (fear of death, specifically oblivion, but haven’t told anyone before this) and struggle with a lot of self-esteem issues. All of you, please, no matter what the world throws at you; ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE. Because you are special.

Thank you.

(Sorry if this became a bit of a rant)

[Keke They/he]

Hmmmm

Ok

So... I did a thing. And I'm nervous about it. But im also happy cause I did it. 

Ahem. If your not a fan of LGBTQ stuff skip this post. 

Spoiler

Aaalrrrigghhtt

My journey in finding who i am has been strange. I have never felt Ok being that good Lil Christian girl. I feel fake when I try that. So with the help of my friends I figure more about me and I feel alot more like... me me then I did before. Right, easy buuytttttt my mom is very.... disliking of this community. I recently came out as orientated aroace to my dad. Long story. But he says tho he doesn't agree with LGBTQ he supports me. I'm not gonna even attempt with my mom. But one thing NEITHER of them even tiny bit like. Is trans or anything gender changing. Ahem, I'm gender apathetic.... yeaaahhhh. So anyways. I got this idea because I've been wanting to try it for a while. I bought a chest binder.

On amazon... 

My mom sees my Amazon acount...... if you don't hear from me in a bit it's cause my mom saw and I got my a word beat. Hehe

And also i accidently used soemone else's card... I think k... .... oh hlin and heimdall please help me. 

I'm cooked. 

And scared.

And happy.

I've got a torrent of emotions in my head rn. 

Pls don't judge me 

phew.

hopefully nothing comes of this.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

2 minutes ago, Thee insane said:

Hmmmm

Ok

So... I did a thing. And I'm nervous about it. But im also happy cause I did it. 

Ahem. If your not a fan of LGBTQ stuff skip this post. 

  Hide contents

Aaalrrrigghhtt

My journey in finding who i am has been strange. I have never felt Ok being that good Lil Christian girl. I feel fake when I try that. So with the help of my friends I figure more about me and I feel alot more like... me me then I did before. Right, easy buuytttttt my mom is very.... disliking of this community. I recently came out as orientated aroace to my dad. Long story. But he says tho he doesn't agree with LGBTQ he supports me. I'm not gonna even attempt with my mom. But one thing NEITHER of them even tiny bit like. Is trans or anything gender changing. Ahem, I'm gender apathetic.... yeaaahhhh. So anyways. I got this idea because I've been wanting to try it for a while. I bought a chest binder.

On amazon... 

My mom sees my Amazon acount...... if you don't hear from me in a bit it's cause my mom saw and I got my a word beat. Hehe

And also i accidently used soemone else's card... I think k... .... oh hlin and heimdall please help me. 

I'm cooked. 

And scared.

And happy.

I've got a torrent of emotions in my head rn. 

Pls don't judge me 

phew.

hopefully nothing comes of this.

*hug*

I hope things go well for you? Good luck 

Glad you're feeling happy 'bout it too, though 

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

2 minutes ago, Thee insane said:

Hmmmm

Ok

So... I did a thing. And I'm nervous about it. But im also happy cause I did it. 

Ahem. If your not a fan of LGBTQ stuff skip this post. 

  Hide contents

Aaalrrrigghhtt

My journey in finding who i am has been strange. I have never felt Ok being that good Lil Christian girl. I feel fake when I try that. So with the help of my friends I figure more about me and I feel alot more like... me me then I did before. Right, easy buuytttttt my mom is very.... disliking of this community. I recently came out as orientated aroace to my dad. Long story. But he says tho he doesn't agree with LGBTQ he supports me. I'm not gonna even attempt with my mom. But one thing NEITHER of them even tiny bit like. Is trans or anything gender changing. Ahem, I'm gender apathetic.... yeaaahhhh. So anyways. I got this idea because I've been wanting to try it for a while. I bought a chest binder.

On amazon... 

My mom sees my Amazon acount...... if you don't hear from me in a bit it's cause my mom saw and I got my a word beat. Hehe

And also i accidently used soemone else's card... I think k... .... oh hlin and heimdall please help me. 

I'm cooked. 

And scared.

And happy.

I've got a torrent of emotions in my head rn. 

Pls don't judge me 

phew.

hopefully nothing comes of this.

*Confetti* Yay! Remember, you are valid and amazing no matter what your mom says!

[Keke They/he]

3 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*hug*

I hope things go well for you? Good luck 

Glad you're feeling happy 'bout it too, though 

*hugs*

Yeah.... lol I accidently used my brothers card. I changed it. 

It comes tomorrow!

2 minutes ago, alittleinsane said:

*Confetti* Yay! Remember, you are valid and amazing no matter what your mom says!

*dances* wooooooh heres to being comfortable in your own body!

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

5 minutes ago, Thee insane said:

*hugs*

Yeah.... lol I accidently used my brothers card. I changed it. 

It comes tomorrow!

*dances* wooooooh heres to being comfortable in your own body!

Yay!

*hug*

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

1 hour ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

Reminder @ everyone

Hehe I call my younger brother Frog

It’s kind of been evolving toward that nickname for a while 

His friends are always amused. It’s great. 

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

7 minutes ago, Thee insane said:

*hugs*

Yeah.... lol I accidently used my brothers card. I changed it. 

It comes tomorrow!

*dances* wooooooh heres to being comfortable in your own body!

I’m happy for you, Hawks (or Thee Insane, not really sure). I hope it all works out for you!

To being comfortable in your own body!