Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Mushroom Catalog he/him]

1 hour ago, Darth Woodrack said:

I wish to be unable to die, in my current human form, uncontained, and my current mind, without losing the capacity to learn.

Granted. You are unable to die. You are in your current human form. You are uncontained. You have your current mind. You did not lose your capacity to learn.

At the time of granting, you freeze in place. The nightwatcher picks up your sentient statue with all of her creepy hands and drags you off into the forest. A short time later, you arrive at a grove. From your limited viewpoint, you weren't the only one to ask for this.

I wish for a carrot.

[NameIess]

9 minutes ago, Mushroom Catalog said:

I wish for a carrot.

Granted, you may have a carrot. For your curse, you will be made immortal, put into a state of constant agony, and be completely paralyzed. you will only recover from this state once you eat the carrot. Have fun staring at it for all eternity, unable to reach the one thing that could save you

 

I wish for ten chickens

[Darth Woodrack he/him]

I thought I was going to be a Reod elantrian. Anyways.

1 minute ago, Llstml said:

I wish for ten chickens

Granted. These chickens are huge and eat humans. Especially you.

I wish for a shardblade.

[The Awakened Salad they/them]

11 hours ago, Ookla the Wine Shelf said:

I wish for a shardblade.

Granted. But it's permanently coated in un-removable slippery oil, so it always slips out of your hands when you grab it. Try not to let it fall onto one of your feet. 

I wish for a paperclip.

[Darth Woodrack he/him]

Just now, The Awakened Salad said:

I wish for a paperclip.

Granted. It is a giant invincible irremovable shardpaperclip that is attaching you to the firing end of a dawn shard.

I wish for my cat to live forever, loose the ability to feel pain, keep his same kitty mind, retain the capacity to move, keep his same kitty body, not gain any homicidal instincts, not grow in size, and not change how he feels about anyone he already knows.

[The Awakened Salad they/them]

3 hours ago, Ookla the Wine Shelf said:

I wish for my cat to live forever, loose the ability to feel pain, keep his same kitty mind, retain the capacity to move, keep his same kitty body, not gain any homicidal instincts, not grow in size, and not change how he feels about anyone he already knows.

All right, let’s do this. 

Your cat is granted immortality. All of your above conditions have been met. Your cat stays by your side for your entire life. And then for your entire children’s’ lives. And their children’s’ lives. And their children’s’ children’s’ lives. (Now children just looks like a made-up word to me). This cat becomes a sort of urban legend — it was an ordinary cat, it just wouldn’t die. Eventually, people get curious. They want to do experiments, figure out the source of its immortality. Others fight back. Say it’s unethical, that no animal, no creature, should be experimented on like that. This cat becomes the subject of media attention. Memes abound about the cat. It becomes something bigger than itself. No longer just a cat, but a symbol. Of the unknown, of the mysterious things in our world that we cannot explain. 

By this point, the cat has been alive for centuries. It can barely remember its original owner. It can’t feel pain, but... it doesn’t know what happiness is either. It doesn’t know how long it can keep going, simply existing. Wandering through time like a ghost. 

Eventually, trillions of trillions of years later, the world ends. How, you ask? That’s a secret. But the cat is there. The cat drifts in space, watching as the Earth is reduced to dust, wondering what will happen next. Over thousands, millions of years, the car floats around in space. It watches a new planet form, and somehow gets pulled back into it. It watches as mountains rise, forests grow. As rivers carve their paths down hillsides and across valleys. As other animals come to populate this new planet, they sense there is something different about the cat. They treat it with reverence, understanding that the cat is wiser and more experienced than they will ever be. 

And so the cat is fated to walk forevermore, to the ends of the universe and back. When you look into its eyes, you can see entire universes inside of them. Those old, immortal eyes. What have they seen? What wonders of the past has this cat experienced? What knowledge does it have, that is lost to the world? Only the cat knows, and only the cat will ever know.

 

Your bane? Oh, it was that you can never put shoes on the right way ever again. You always have to put the left shoe on your right foot, and the right shoe on your left foot. No exceptions. 
 

I wish for some pancakes. 

Edited November 19, 2019 by The Awakened Salad

[Darth Woodrack he/him]

That is epic.

1 minute ago, The Awakened Salad said:

I wish for some pancakes. 

These pancakes are man eaters.

I wish for the infinity gauntlet to be laid on my hand, with one allowed snap unaffected by the bane.

[NameIess]

11 hours ago, Ookla the Wine Shelf said:

I wish for the infinity gauntlet to be laid on my hand, with one allowed snap unaffected by the bane.

Granted, but it comes with a small tag that reads:

Does not come with infinity stones, if you wish to order the infinity stones, please create an inter-dimensional portal, then apply to the avenge's department of inter-dimensional and dangerous device disposal.

your curse is that you will only be able to move for one more action before being permanently paralyzed, which could be a snap, though that wouldn't accomplish anything without the stones.

 

I wish to be an elantrian with full access to the Dor no matter where I go.

[Darth Woodrack he/him]

2 minutes ago, Llstml said:

wish to be an elantrian with full access to the Dor no matter where I go.

Granted, but you can’t leave Elantris.

I wish to be the night wachter.

[Brightness Warrior she/her]

Granted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wish that my internal systems wouldn't disagree so much, in the hope that I'm not in semi-constant, often distracting pain/discomfort of some kind.

[Darth Woodrack he/him]

What's my bane...?

11 hours ago, Brightness Warrior said:

I wish that my internal systems wouldn't disagree so much, in the hope that I'm not in semi-constant, often distracting pain/discomfort of some kind.

Granted. You know have no internal systems, so they don't disagree.

 

I wish to be a fullborn.

[Mushroom Catalog he/him]

Granted, you are a fullborn cat. Your mom was a cat, your dad was a cat, all of your siblings were cat, etc. You always involuntarily meow when you see a person.

I wish to have all the allomantic and feruchemical powers.

[NameIess]

43 minutes ago, Mushroom Catalog said:

I wish to have all the allomantic and feruchemical powers.

Granted, but you live in a world entirely without metal, and never discover you powers, until a random hemalurgist spikes aluminum out of you, killing you.

 

I wish to be a herald of Harmony, blessed with all the metallic arts, an instinctual skill with them like Vin, and infinite allomantic metal,

HoA spoilers:

Spoiler

Like Elend right before he died, only with infinite feruchemical stores as well.

A harmonyblade, revival, like the heralds except that I revive on Scadrial, and immunity to hemalurgy.

Edited November 20, 2019 by Llstml
clarification

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

“Granted,” says the Nightwatcher, pulling out numerous very large metal spikes. “However, you’re boom is something else entirely. As you may have noticed, there seems to be some trouble brewing between the shards right now. A contest of champions, or so it seems, may take place soon. And I need a champion...” The Nightwatcher begins to laugh maniacally as roots begin to take hold of your legs and arms, dragging you away to some unseen grove of trees, where you will be waiting, forever, until your battle.

I wish for Minecraft on my laptop.

[Darth Woodrack he/him]

Granted, but the password of your laptop is changed so it will take the rest of your life type In.

I wish for all of the shards that Odium killed time be reformed and given to me.

[NameIess]

31 minutes ago, Truthless of Shinovar said:

“Granted,” says the Nightwatcher, pulling out numerous very large metal spikes. “However, you’re boom is something else entirely. As you may have noticed, there seems to be some trouble brewing between the shards right now. A contest of champions, or so it seems, may take place soon. And I need a champion...” The Nightwatcher begins to laugh maniacally as roots begin to take hold of your legs and arms, dragging you away to some unseen grove of trees, where you will be waiting, forever, until your battle.

I can imagine how that battle is going to go... I feel sorry for Odium's champion.

[Knight of Iron she/they]

1 hour ago, Ookla the Wine Shelf said:

I wish for all of the shards that Odium killed time be reformed and given to me.

Done, but in doing so the Intents of the Shards clash so violently you lose control of yourself and become the Shard of Insanity.

I wish for Stormlight Archive 4 to be a well-written novel and I will still be alive and able to read and able to obtain an English copy of the book and read it.

[Darth Woodrack he/him]

15 minutes ago, Knight of Iron said:

Done, but in doing so the Intents of the Shards clash so violently you lose control of yourself and become the Shard of Insanity.

I’m okay with that.

15 minutes ago, Knight of Iron said:

I wish for Stormlight Archive 4 to be a well-written novel and I will still be alive and able to read and able to obtain an English copy of the book and read it.

No boom is required for the first part, and the second is done. You will drop dead upon finishing the book.

I wish for Odium to be my best friend, as he is now.

[NameIess]

2 minutes ago, Ookla the Wine Shelf said:

I wish for Odium to be my best friend, as he is now.

Granted, Odium is your best friend.... for 0.015 seconds, as that is how long I can manipulate his mind without being splintered. He will probably punish you with a few millennia of torture, followed by a painful death as he rips your soul apart.

Edited November 20, 2019 by Llstml

[Darth Woodrack he/him]

You gonna wish for something...?

[NameIess]

Sorry, I wish for infinite stormlight, which grants me healing and all of it's passive effects, without glowing or any negative effects.

[Darth Woodrack he/him]

1 minute ago, Llstml said:

Sorry, I wish for infinite stormlight, which grants me healing and all of it's passive effects, without glowing or any negative effects.

Granted, but you are now allergic to Stormlight, and it gives you a very bad sneeze.

I wish for infinite money.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Granted, you ruin the economy and send the world into another Great Depression. You’re bane is that you have a sudden dislike for anything expensive.

I wish for less homework. And more speeches by Earl Nightengale.

Edited November 21, 2019 by Truthless of Shinovar

[Darth Woodrack he/him]

1 minute ago, Truthless of Shinovar said:

I wish for less homework. And more speeches by Earl Nightengale.

Granted, you now only need to do homework when Earl Nightengale gives a speech, which they now do once an hour.

I wish Hellbent had never been made.

[NameIess]

18 hours ago, Ookla the Wine Shelf said:

I wish Hellbent had never been made.

Granted, welcome to Roshar, were Hellbent has never been made. Your curse is that you will soon be introduced to braizebent, and it's ten times worse.

 

I wish that I knew what people were talking about when they make wishes.

Edited November 21, 2019 by Llstml