Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Arith Matic he/him]

they will be, but you won't.  You will ruin every social interaction next week by insulting every person you see.

[Winds Alight she/her]

Who says that I don't do this anyways?

What boon do you ask, good visitor?

[Arith Matic he/him]

I wish to be granted the full powers of a mistborn.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

1 hour ago, Arith Matic said:

I wish to be granted the full powers of a mistborn.

Granted, unfortunately your bane is that Nightwatcher has switched the functions of your mouth and your anus, but the consolation here really comes down to this wob:

Quote

Questioner [PENDING REVIEW]

So, would Allomancy work if the metals were a suppository?

Brandon Sanderson [PENDING REVIEW]

That is theoretically possible, but gross... There's nothing special about the stomach. It's kinda getting it into your spirit, and things.

source

For reals, that's the last time the Nightwatcher (as channeled by myself) will use that horrible bane.

I wish that I get a puppy for christmas.

[Atium he/him]

Granted, but it dies slowly and painfully the next day

 

I wish to become a cryptic spren.

[Arith Matic he/him]

Granted, but you look like, well a cryptic, and you also forget your ENTIRE identity.  

 

I wish to be the best, around.

Edited December 14, 2018 by Arith Matic

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

51 minutes ago, Arith Matic said:

I wish to be the best, around.

Granted!

A wizened Karate Master takes you under his wing, and tells you that he is training you to be the best around. After 20 years of waxing cars, cleaning floors, mowing lawns, and doing other repetitive menial tasks you begin to suspect that he meant "best man servant around", not "best Karate master around".

Spoiler

But the nightwatcher gave you a Sony walkman preloaded with a cassette with this song on it to listen to while you work:

Could have been worse.

I wish that my daughters liked NPR and I could listen to it in the car while I was driving them around.

 

 

 

[Arith Matic he/him]

Congratulations!
Your daughters now like NPR.  In fact, they love it so much they aspire to become part of NPR, run away to fulfill their dream of becoming a radio talk show host, and they are never seen again.  Well, only heard, that is.

 

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

4 minutes ago, Arith Matic said:

Your daughters now like NPR.  In fact, they love it so much they aspire to become part of NPR, run away to fulfill their dream of becoming a radio talk show host, and they are never seen again.  Well, only heard, that is.

Umm, I would totally be ok with this, but they're a little young for this right now.

What's your wish?

[Arith Matic he/him]

I wish to have the ability to play the best guitar riffs in the world.

 

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

 

1 hour ago, Arith Matic said:

I wish to have the ability to play the best guitar riffs in the world.

Granted!

The Nightwatcher declares that you are now a Rock N' Roll God.

Spoiler

Cthulhu to be precise. You see, to play the greatest guitar riffs in the world, you needed more attendant arms, so the Nightwatcher was forced to turn you into a blanket octopus. On the positive side, you have a bunch of Orca whale groupies that bring you offerings of freshly killed herring in appreciation of your god-like guitar prowess.

I wish that were 12 more hours in the day that were set aside just for sleeping, and that these magical twelve hours for sleeping don't add up to shorten human life spans.

[Arith Matic he/him]

"Granted," the Nightwatcher says.  "This ones on me."

And so Hoiditthroughthegrapevine and all other humans slept for 12  extra hours, and several things happened:

1.World Peace

2.No oversleeping

3.All human life expectancy is way up

So  essentially, Hoiditthroughthegrapevine solved all of life's problems, except the functions of his mouth and anus were swapped...

The end!

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

Well played, well played.

6 minutes ago, Arith Matic said:

The end!

Or is it? What's your wish?

[Arith Matic he/him]

My bad!  I keep forgetting to add that in:

I wish that I could memorize every past, present, and future Wob without losing the rest of my memory  (so I could win every argument in Cosmere forums)

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

4 minutes ago, Arith Matic said:

I wish that I could memorize every past, present, and future Wob without losing the rest of my memory  (so I could win every argument in Cosmere forums)

Granted, unfortunately, the only way the Nightwatcher could accomplish this was by grafting your head onto @Calderis's body, right next to his head (because he freakin' knows all the WOBs, even the ones that have come out yet. I think he secretly has already made a pact with the Nightwatcher, so maybe this really is his retroactively applied boon as well).

So now you know all the wobs (by extension) and you and Cal will never be lonely (and conversely you will never be alone either).

I wish it would snow in Eugene Oregon.

[Calderis he/him]

I interrupt this game briefly, as I have been summoned by @hoiditthroughthegrapevine, to say yes... You have found me out.

I am a WoBspren. 

Return to your game secure in your knowledge of my nature. 

[Arith Matic he/him]

The Nightwatcher grants your wish, and it snows in Eugene, Oregon.  But...

It doesn't stop.  Eugene, Oregon becomes a frozen wasteland, where a constant and deadly blizzard allows nothing to get through.  Residents of Eugene, Oregon adapt to this curse over the millennia and become a survivalist culture based around hunting and maple syrup candy.

 

Mmm...

delicious! 

I wish for people around me to acknowledge my presence by doing something positive towards me.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Granted.

A bunch of people stand up and say nice things about you, one after the other...

...because it's your funeral. Whoops.

 

I wish for the ability to be careful what I wish for.

[Arith Matic he/him]

The Nightwatcher thinks for a moment, stumped, She gives you this wish and says: "guess I have to stick with the old reliable."  and swaps the functions of your mouth and your anus.

 

I wish I could look cool in any situation, without freezing over.

Edited December 15, 2018 by Arith Matic

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

18 minutes ago, Calderis said:

I am a WoBspren. 

Dude, I already knew this. Check out this picture I got of you:

@Arith Matic, what's your new wish?

[BooksBeforeDeath]

Granted. While you look like your freezing, and people try to warm you up, when in reality, you are hotter than a person wearing winter gear in the Sahara.

 

I wish to know all the technical stuff about the magic systems, without losing any other memory.

[Arith Matic he/him]

Granted, unfortunately for you, the Nightwatcher knows a certain Wobspren which also knows quite a lot about technical systems...

and she could only achieve your wish by grafting your head on the other shoulder of @Calderis, next to me, lesser scholar of WoB, with Calderis as the greater of course!

 

I wish that my dog would stop trying to run up to everyone he sees and jumps on them.

Edited December 15, 2018 by Arith Matic

[Rashek of Bridge Four he/him]

Granted, he runs up to them and bites them.

I wish I was a skybreaker.

[goody153]

Granted but you are a skybreaker who swore an oath to follow Nale under the final desolation. 

I wish i had a spren-based on Harmony and gives me unique radiant powers

[Winds Alight she/her]

Granted, but there aren't any highstorms here so you won't get any Stormlight to use your powers.

I wish to have the ability to always know the right decision.