Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[1st of Lunch he/him]

I wish I knew how to forum...

(Cant believe I forgot the stupid wish!)

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

27 minutes ago, 1st of Lunch said:

I wish I knew how to forum...

(Cant believe I forgot the stupid wish!)

Granted, you're doing great. Have an upvote.

I wish that @Apollyon knows that the boon granted above was in no way directed at him personally, and that it really was just about the idea of opening yourself up for an unknown bane for a boon that was easily accomplished without magical intervention, and the Nightwatcher's reaction to the aforementioned (on re-reading it, it sounded a bit harsh). Oh and I also wish for a flying monkey familiar that likes to play cribbage and who wouldn't mind carrying my groceries in from the car.

Edited May 8, 2018 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine

[Xtafa]

3 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Oh and I also wish for a flying monkey familiar that likes to play cribbage and who wouldn't mind carrying my groceries in from the car.

 

Granted but his grasp on the english language is horrible, he plays with a Cabbage, this backfires on you when he unleashed a cabbage P O O T into your vehicle upon depositing your groceries. This scent lingers on you, wafting around you until the day you die, it pushes away all your friends and family, you are jobless.. however, you still have your Monkey friend. 

 

I wish for a delicious pork roast. 

Edited May 8, 2018 by Xtafa
quote

[The Allomantic Metalhead he/him]

2 hours ago, Xtafa said:

I wish for a delicious pork roast. 

Granted, but Odium loves pork roast, so he moves out of Roshar and makes a desolation on Earth before you can eat your pork roast. You are cornered by Fused warriors, and told to give up the pork roast or die. What a choice, eh?

 

I wish I had the powers of all of the magical traditions in Desolation but would only get 1/10 of the burn.

[Zath he/him]

12 hours ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

I wish I had the powers of all of the magical traditions in Desolation but would only get 1/10 of the burn.

"You wish for the powers that have caused Desolations?  You wish to be the scourge of Roshar?!" the Nightwatcher demands.  "Denied!  Instead, you shall suffer in torment for eternity--" then the Nightwatcher actually clicks on your link. "Oh. You meant that Desolation.  Very well."

You are granted all the magical powers and are known throughout the land of Scondera as the "Unnatural, Not-Evil Necromancer of The Fellowship of the Father's Fury."  You receive only 1/10 of the burn.  Unfortunately, the Nightwatcher defines "1/10 of the burn" as the eternal hatred of 1/10 of Scondera's pre-apocalypse population.  The 90% who didn't hate you were killed in The Night of Fire.  This means that everyone left alive would love to see you ripped to shreds, even though your Necromancy is certifiably "Non-Evil."  Good thing you have all those magical powers to defend yourself with, eh?

I wish to see the future. (I'm opening a can of worms on this one, aren't I?)

[Kidpen he/him]

Granted. However, what you see disturbs you. You see, all that will happen for the rest of eternity is every person on Earth constantly opening infinity cans of worms. You, seeing your own future, are bound to join them. Have fun!

I wish for a single can of worms.

[Zath he/him]

13 minutes ago, Kidpen said:

Granted. However, what you see disturbs you. You see, all that will happen for the rest of eternity is every person on Earth constantly opening infinity cans of worms. You, seeing your own future, are bound to join them. Have fun!

Ha!  Well played. In retrospect, I really should have seen that coming. (..."seen that coming."  Get it? <giggles like a 5-year-old after a dumb "knock, knock" joke>  That's seer humor, right there )

16 minutes ago, Kidpen said:

I wish for a single can of worms.

Granted.  You get a single can of worms.  It's always on eHarmony and Match.com, looking for love.  It finally finds a nice, compassionate fishing pole and they settle down, eager to start a new life together.  Then you're like, "Wait, this is really weird.  A can of worms and a fishing pole?  You're both inanimate objects -- how can you feel anything, let alone love?"  The romance dies, and the can of worms becomes single again.  It blames you, and you can never eat spaghetti again for fear of finding a non-noodle on your plate.

I wish for limited cosmic power!

[Apollyon he/him]

Granted, but it’s limit is being cosmic, so, in meeting this limit, has no power. (Did that make sense?)

I wish for a badchull koloss sword and the capability to lift it.

[InvertShard he/him]

Sure. But the sword has a mind of it's own and you two often disagree on whether or not to fight.

 

I wish for...Apollyon's sword to obey my every command. (And have a nice Chipotle burrito out of it too)

[Mistspren she/her]

Granted, but the Type IV awakened sword is incredibly immature, and every time you attempt to use it, it repeats "Odium rains", giggling like a maniac.

"Odium rains - get it? Like rain? Falling from the sky? The Everstorm is of Odium. The Everstorm has rain in it. So, Odium rains. Heeheehee... I'm so funny... Heeheehee... Get it? Get it?" it crows, and you get the impression that if the sword had been a person, it would be doubled over with laughter.

Worst of all, when you unsheathe it for the first time, it consumes your burrito before you can eat it, because matter and Investiture are the same thing. You didn't even get a bite. Of course, immediately afterwards it consumes you as well, while crying "Odium RAINS. RAINS! HEEHEEHEE, HAHAHA, HA HAAAA! I'm hilarious! Heeheehee... heh...heh..." The sword realizes it is now alone and is crushingly sad that nobody is here to laugh with it.

I wish the sword could meet Nightblood so it would no longer be lonely.

Edited May 9, 2018 by Mistspren

[Apollyon he/him]

Granted, but now I have two Type IV Biochromatic swords, and one of them is a Rusting koloss blade!

I wish that my awakened koloss blade was the second most invested object in the Cosmere!

[Xtafa]

Granted, Nightblood gets jealous and paranoid he will no longer be "best" and keeps trying to consume Kolo, you are vaporised in the process.

 

I wish for a perfect gemstone, the size of my fist.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

29 minutes ago, Apollyon said:

I wish that my awakened koloss blade was the second most invested object in the Cosmere!

Granted. Unbeknownst to you, your Koloss blade, named The Pun-isher (due to its proclivity for bad puns) has been using the Internet behind your back to channel your savings into speculative positions in the Rosharan, Scadrian, and Nalthan futures markets.

With a portfolio of dubious investments that spans 3 shardworlds, your sword is now the 2nd most "invested" object in the cosmere, right behind an awakened paperweight in Silver light that owns and manages a booming chain of Ramen noodle joints on 4 sub-astrals called the Soul of the Noodle.

Your bane is that Pun-isher's mind is much duller than his blade, and you now owe quite a bit of money to the ghostbloods.

 

Ninja'd by @Xtafa...

3 minutes ago, Xtafa said:

I wish for a perfect gemstone, the size of my fist.

 The Nightwatcher hands you a gemstone glowing with a strangely dark purple light and then makes you swallow it.

For the next 2 hours you are master of every surge, the multitudinous powers of creation are yours to control. After sculpting a statue of yourself out of basalt like it was clay, lashing yourself into the upper reaches of the atmosphere, and sliding down a hill with super slick legs, what's left of your body collapses into an immobile heap. And Yelig-nar's gem stone still glows faintly with its eery purplish light. 

I wish that T-Rex's could fly, and that instead of like birds, they retained their cute little arms with 3 fingers and had separate wings.

[Xtafa]

14 minutes ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

I wish that T-Rex's could fly, and that instead of like birds, they retained their cute little arms with 3 fingers and had separate wings.

Granted, with wings the T-rex somehow managed to survive the wipeout event, surviving to the modern age, they have shrunk in size however due to the lack of larger, slower prey, yet still larger than anything else on the planets land. 

With their habitat gone they have become the bane of modern society, they swoop from the sky trying to grab people with their tiny arms; though their success rate is barely 10%, they feast from bins when they fail.

One of these follow you around constantly throughout your days, swooping, grabbing at you. They haven't been successful so far but sadly constantly tear apart your clothing, flesh, building and vehicle.

Their giant poops are causing climate change to accelerate, much to their liking

What a nuisance you have unleashed on the world. 

------------------------

 

I wish for a healing fabrial.

[+ElephantEarwax he/him]

Granted, but everything you touch gets turned slick (awesome) (Lift)

I wish for a honorspren bond.

[Xtafa]

Granted, but I touched your spren and it is now SLICK. If you summon your blade you immediately drop it. Anything you lash slips to the floor after a moment. 

 

I wish I had bowl of pudding.

[Gray to he/him]

Granted, but it's tapioca pudding and it's completely frozen, so you have to slowly chip away at it with a spoon.

I wish for for Spider-Man powers

[Xtafa]

24 minutes ago, Gray to said:

I wish for for Spider-Man powers

 

The nightwatcher is amused "You wish to be.. a man spider? how curious.." A spider made of vines drops onto you, sinking its fangs in. 

You undergo a transformation in the cover of jungle,

You become this version of spiderman, barely any memories and an animal instinct. Everyone is afraid and hunts you as if you were a voidbringer.

http://marvelanimated.wikia.com/wiki/Man_Spider

I wish for a radiant superhero on Roshar, Costume and all. 

Edited May 9, 2018 by Xtafa

[ScarletSabre he/him]

Granted, however the costume was designed by Rob Liefeld in the 90's, so Radiantman has pouches on his ankles, thighs, biceps, three belts, shoulderpads large enough to make him have to go through doorways sideways, and perpetually has his teeth clenched and eyes squinted thanks to the tightness of his mask (which leaves his face and mulleted hair exposed). His weapon is also a hugely impractical spiked spren-mace at least twice as tall as him, just so he can get it covered in blood when the spikes don't pierce through to the soul.

I wish for Batman to figure out what in damnation Hoid is up to.

[Xtafa]

Granted, Hoid is Batman.

 

I Wish I could teleport.

[ScarletSabre he/him]

Granted, but you can only teleport to one spot, which you cannot change once chosen. Pick wisely!

I wish that DC would make an actually GOOD live action superhero movie.

[Kidpen he/him]

Granted. We force feed you Wonder Woman, and if you think it isn't good, oh well for you. For your bane this is the only movie you can ever watch,

I wish Avengers 4 was out.

 

[Apollyon he/him]

Granted, but they don’t bring [Insert the most traumatic death here] back and you cry even more.

I wish I could have the awakened paperweight from silverlight so I could have the first and second most Invested objects in the Cosmere.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

13 hours ago, Apollyon said:

I wish I could have the awakened paperweight from silverlight so I could have the first and second most Invested objects in the Cosmere.

Granted, it's yours. Also the Ghostbloods were willing to take your paperweight's Ramen Noodle business in payment for your Sword's debts.

Only problem is that your paperweight can communicate with you telepathically, and uses this telepathic link to convince you to become an accountant.

So with your Koloss sword strapped to your back (which you now only use to open letters) you sit behind a mighty fortress built of stacks of paper, waging epic war to keep a global corporation specializing in 3 ply toilet paper in the black. Thankfully your paperweight helps you out a lot and also reveals its secret recipe for its Cosmere wide famous ramen.

I wish I could meet the Charmin bear, maybe even have British style high tea with him and the Pillsbury dough boy, with lots of small sandwiches, scones and other savories.

Edited May 10, 2018 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine

[Barbarian AL he/him]

Granted! You experience a momentary loss of etiquette and now you are expected to pay for everyone by way of an apology and the meal was mighty expensive. 

I wish to be ever so beautifully fragrant.