Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Through The Living Grub He/Him]

Granted. The Shard has too many cults and random jokes. But that isn’t a satisfying answer for you, which leads you down dark alleys until you find the thread explaining.

Spoiler

I think it was just a joke a while ago that developed into part of the culture. Sorry if that wasn’t very helpful.

I wish for the ability to perfectly communicate with anyone, regardless of language barriers or other inhibitors.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

Granted. You communicate so well with everyone that you run out of things to communicate. Everyone knows exactly what's going on the moment they see you. Thus, you don't have to say anything ever. You fall out of practice of talking and your throat dries up. You eventually choke on your food and pass away.

I wish to never work again in my life

[Factor She/Her]

Granted. However, you’re locked in your last workplace, unable to leave, and I unallowed to work. (Unimaginative, but I couldn’t think of anything)

I wish for the ability to transmogrify sandwiches into books. Because I have imagination block right know.

[Through The Living Grub He/Him]

Granted. However, all your books are about foods that communicate in strange ways that alienates a large audience.

I wish to know what to wish for, as I’m running out of ideas.

[Factor She/Her]

Ummm… granted. You should wish for… steel/iron allomancy, but it only works on scented candles!

I wish for emotional allomancy that only works on marmosets.

[Through The Living Grub He/Him]

granted, but you can only see out of the back of your head.

i wish to know the exact tensile strength of sharplate.

[Through The Living Star She/Her]

Granted, but you cannot speak or write it down, or use it in any way, only think about it. 

I wish that I could have an instant cure for writers block. 

[Factor She/Her]

Granted! It’s available through a hemalurgic spike, but it’s used by burning uranium, which kills you.

I wish for an eraser shaped like a lobster!

[Through The Living Grub He/Him]

Granted! However, they also sent you a box of live lobsters.

I wish to go to Urithiru and become an artifabrian.

[Factor She/Her]

Granted! However, it’s the middle of the singer occupation.

I wish for Last Post Wins to be unlocked!

[Through The Living Grub He/Him]

4 minutes ago, Factor said:

Granted! However, it’s the middle of the singer occupation.

I wish for Last Post Wins to be unlocked!

Woah man, this thread is for realistic wishes and curses.

Edited April 2 by Through The Living Grub

[Factor She/Her]

Hmmph. What about 16 green chulls who hold the shards of adonalsium?

[Through The Living Grub He/Him]

2 minutes ago, Factor said:

Hmmph. What about 16 green chulls who hold the shards of adonalsium?

Much better.

Granted. However, the Nightwatcher is  now a skyeel and tries to eat you. Better start running.

I wish for a small statue of Wayne, complete with different metal hats that can be exchanged and Wayne quotes.

[Factor She/Her]

AAAAAA *runs*

Also, here you go! But by purchasing this product, you’ve signed up for a subscription in which everything you own is slowly replaced with items of equivalent value!

I’m going to leave now, but before I go: I wish for a talking chicken*

 

*”Chicken” is defined as a Marketing Term and does not necessarily mean chicken, but is defined as any bird.

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

3 hours ago, Factor said:

AAAAAA *runs*

Also, here you go! But by purchasing this product, you’ve signed up for a subscription in which everything you own is slowly replaced with items of equivalent value!

I’m going to leave now, but before I go: I wish for a talking chicken*

 

*”Chicken” is defined as a Marketing Term and does not necessarily mean chicken, but is defined as any bird.

Granted. You are now a chicken, and can speak the language of Zizagabon, which is an evolved form of English in 2000 years, and therefore no one can understand it, even those who speak it.

I wish for gibberish to be a recognized language.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

Granted. Falsch foirf garrubis et karrhim almuj detlas. Ploikel eid munarek qken The Tower of Babel lorbed mofos hu sa jiph ouen sthaeie wreacc de mmeit jod at pourle jaets of hevin reimbut grashel.

I wish I was able to lock in at will

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

1 hour ago, AltonicKeys said:

Granted. Falsch foirf garrubis et karrhim almuj detlas. Ploikel eid munarek qken The Tower of Babel lorbed mofos hu sa jiph ouen sthaeie wreacc de mmeit jod at pourle jaets of hevin reimbut grashel.

I wish I was able to lock in at will

Congratulations! You are locked in. You cannot lock out again and must spend all your life on this one task. If you want, you can also lock in for other tasks, but you must continue doing the others as well. Your brain will eventually give out from exhaustion and overwhelm.

I wish it would rain.

[Katalri_105 They/her]

2 hours ago, Through the Living Ink said:

I wish it would rain.

Granted! It rains. Forever.

I wish to be productive and finish all of my stories.

[Factor She/Her]

Granted! You finish them all. Then you finish everything you ever need to do in life. Then you become bored and depressed because you’re not allowed on the shard because someone told you it wasn’t productive (the blasphemy!) and your new power took that as the truth.

I wish to see the full color spectrum that human’s can’t see. 

[Through The Living Star She/Her]

Granted. You see all the light and it makes your eyes go blind after one look. 

I wish that I could have a non-hemalurgic cookie. 

[Factor She/Her]

Granted! It’s poisonous.

I wish for a purple coat hanger!

[Through The Living Star She/Her]

Granted! Your coat hanger is too small for anything to fit on it, unfortunately.

I wish that my computer would work

[Factor She/Her]

Granted! But the modifications that make it work perfectly require a allomantic thing (why does the coppermind still call them grenades? That’s not what they’re made for) to power it, and you (unfortunately) live on earth with no allomancy.

So on that note, I wish to live on Scadrial!

Edited April 3 by Factor
Autoincorrect messed it up

[Through The Living Grub He/Him]

8 minutes ago, Factor said:

Granted! But the modifications that make it work perfectly require a allomantic thing (why does the coppermind still call them grenades? That’s not what they’re made for) to power it, and you (unfortunately) live on earth with no allomancy.

So on that note, I wish to live on Scadrial!

Granted! You have to use a Dawnshard however, so you are eternally hunted by people who want your Dawnshard.

I wish for increased physical endurance.

[Through The Living Star She/Her]

Granted! However, you cannot stop running. Ever. 

I wish that I could become a Windrunner with my own Honorspren