Let's Conquer the World

[Channelknight Fadran]

Divulge you plans to conquer various parts of Planet Earth!

 

No promises as to what will or won't be reported to the UN.

[Ookla the Abstract]

Get rid of Canada's maple trees. They lose a huge portion of their national pride, hurting morale. They also lose maple syrup, their primary energy source.

[Channelknight Fadran]

But what is your method for invading Canada in the first place?

[Ookla the Black Sock]

YUS!

Here's my _____ step plan to destroy the US and retake it!

(Btw, this isn't serious and would most likely fail so quickly)

Step one: start learning about the law and how to become a senator.

step two: start getting people who can help you in your goal to help you get in charge of several states.

Step three: find any other existing organizations that have various goals and start the process of taking them over.

Step four: start getting into the political parties and using them to leverage you and others into high positions in the government, military, agencies, important companies, etc.

Step five: start a loooot of contention between all of the different groups, start highlighting differences and making controversies and dramas start to happen.

Step six: inspire revolt all over, riots, protests, fights, robberies, etc.

Step seven: get the military and police to attack the protestors to make everyone start questioning the police and so that more people start to hate the government. (this will play into later steps very nicely)

Step eight: Get more and more protests to start. Have several politicians, important government officials, leaders in various public organizations and just celebrities in general get murdered, assassinated, etc. It's also good if they can be targeted by the corrupt policemen we have under our control by our various groups to target any celebs that side with the protestors.

Step nine: Lead the protestors and some loads of people from all over who now hate the government and attack the capital, seizing it for a few days. 

Step ten: relinquish it after killing a load of people. Slide back into the background and start killing senators and making people more and more violent by throwing charismatic leaders all around to make people riled up against everyone else.

Step eleven: recruit loads of people into our own separate army and start attacking capitol buildings.

Step twelve: take over one state and call it our own.

Step thirteen: have the different organizations under our control seize leadership of other groups and make sure that no central government can really stabilize in this hectic version of America.

Step fourteen: focus all main forces on the one state and defend it at all costs.

Step fifteen: after a few years, strike one particularly weak country of fractured America and seize control. 

Step sixteen: Send a nukes to the strongest enemies with tech we've been gathering the whole time (eh, ignore the fallacies)

Step seventeen: rampage across the country with several armies and seize control over several years.

 

And that is my over simplified plan of how to take over America if I had a hankering to dabble in pure villainy.

[Ookla the Shadowed]

What if you don't have access to nukes?

[Ookla the Abstract]

2 minutes ago, Channelknight Fadran said:

But what is your method for invading Canada in the first place?

I'm a citizen. No invasion necessary.

[Ookla the Black Sock]

9 minutes ago, Experience said:

What if you don't have access to nukes?

Ah, time for the plan for that.

See, what you do is that you use the organizations that you have access to to gain access to the nukes that the US has and then smuggle those away, or simply steal all the ingredients. WE could also buy small amounts of the required ingredients through maaaany different accounts and make nukes with some scientists at our disposal.

[Ookla the Shadowed]

2 minutes ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

Ah, time for the plan for that.

See, what you do is that you use the organizations that you have access to to gain access to the nukes that the US has and then smuggle those away, or simply steal all the ingredients. WE could also buy small amounts of the required ingredients through maaaany different accounts and make nukes with some scientists at our disposal.

So what if...we're not some super rich bozos?

[Ookla the Black Sock]

Just now, Experience said:

So what if...we're not some super rich bozos?

That's what honest work and crime are for, isn't it? It doesn't take riches to take control of organizations. Just charisma, manipulation skills and patience.

[Ookla the Yellow Sock]

My dad put it simply : control the pickle and apple industry, control the world 

[OokIa the Believer]

Hey people are trying to take over India by stealing tomatoes. (Intentionally blank)

[Ookla the Black Sock]

5 minutes ago, ΨιτιsτηεΒέsτ said:

Hey people are trying to take over India by stealing tomatoes. (Intentionally blank)

Intentionally Blank is so much fun. I was literally talking about that earlier though XD.

[Ookla the Wisdom Shouter]

I want to make enough Harry Potter movies that I can buy Canada. I'll start by splitting the last book into 2 movies, then splitting each of those into 4 movies, then splitting every other book into 5 movies... I'll be so rich.

Edited August 21 by Bondsmith-Edgedancer
I WANT THAT POUTINE!!!!

[OokIa the Believer]

1 minute ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

Intentionally Blank is so much fun. I was literally talking about that earlier though XD.

Yes I love intentionally blank.

[Ookla the Wisdom Shouter]

19 minutes ago, SmilingPanda19 said:

My dad put it simply : control the pickle and apple industry, control the world 

He who can destroy a thing has the real control over it.

[Ookla the Abstract]

5 minutes ago, Bondsmith-Edgedancer said:

I want to make enough Harry Potter movies that I can buy Canada. I'll start by splitting the last book into 2 movies, then splitting each of those into 4 movies, then splitting every other book into 5 movies... I'll be so rich.

Hey, I'm already conquering Canada. Anyway, you probably wouldn't even break even with that scheme. That many movies would incur ridiculous costs. Not only that, but very few people would want to watch them because 1) the movies already exist and 2) It would be way too tedious watching that many movies spreading a story that thin.

My conquest is far more suited to Canada's vulnerabilities, plus I have the access of the citizenship.

[Quantus]

 

9 hours ago, Experience said:

So what if...we're not some super rich bozos?

9 hours ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

That's what honest work and crime are for, isn't it? It doesn't take riches to take control of organizations. Just charisma, manipulation skills and patience.

This is why supervillains spend so much time robbing banks...the Villainous Venture Capital worlds is too cut-throat.

[Ookla the Black Sock]

4 minutes ago, Quantus said:

 

This is why supervillains spend so much time robbing banks...the Villainous Venture Capital worlds is too cut-throat.

exaaactly.

[Ookla the Imaginary]

Biological warfare. Invent a new deadly disease and withhold the cure until countries surrender to you. It's awful but would be effective. 

Finding a cure for cancer would work as well

[Ookla the Black Sock]

7 hours ago, Morningtide said:

Biological warfare. Invent a new deadly disease and withhold the cure until countries surrender to you. It's awful but would be effective. 

Finding a cure for cancer would work as well

Biological warfare... *writes that down along with secret assassins trained in the ancient art of scadoosh*

[Frustration]

My time has come.

 

1. Be the US of A. This has multiple advantages, the first being that all other countries are vassal states in all but name, and the second being that no outside force could ever even come close to defeating the US, and I will die on that hill.

2. Threaten to leave NATO and stop giving any foreign aid to Europe, while also actively developing natural resources in the US. Without the inherent protections the US gives Europe, as well as the military and intelligence support Russia will quickly overrun eastern Europe. Use this leverage to gain almost complete control over NATO member states.

3. Seize the Suez Canal, taking control of around ten percent of global trade, this can be most easily accompished by using staging grounds in Israel, and while we're at it lets take out all the oil refineries hostile countries, sending the entire region into chaos and cutting off oil supplies to all enemies except Russia.

4. Take control of Canada and Mexico, and keep going south to Panama, where we seize the Panama canal as well. This would be incredibly easy as we basically control the territory already.

5. Using bases in Japan, Korea, Guam, and corroboration from Taiwan and Vietnam, cut off all overseas trade to China. Within a short amount of time the lack of food and increasingly impossible conditions the CCP will collapse effectively overnight. Their ballistic missile stockpile will pose a small problem, but if they become too much of an inconvenience, and you don't mind warcrimes(which why would we who can punish us?) We bomb the Three Gorges Dam, cutting off power and causing massive flooding across the majority of the country, killing the already strained power grid, flood response, and infrastructure.

This also serves the double purpose of cutting of Russia's last major trading partner and allowing us to completely surround North Korea.

From here it's just wrap up, and rebuilding multiple completely destroyed countries.

TLDR: If you aren't the US the only reason you exist is because we allow you to.

Edited August 22 by Frustration

[Scars of Hathsin]

6 hours ago, Frustration said:

My time has come.

 

1. Be the US of A. This has multiple advantages, the first being that all other countries are vassal states in all but name, and the second being that no outside force could ever even come close to defeating the US, and I will die on that hill.

2. Threaten to leave NATO and stop giving any foreign aid to Europe, while also actively developing natural resources in the US. Without the inherent protections the US gives Europe, as well as the military and intelligence support Russia will quickly overrun eastern Europe. Use this leverage to gain almost complete control over NATO member states.

3. Seize the Suez Canal, taking control of around ten percent of global trade, this can be most easily accompished by using staging grounds in Israel, and while we're at it lets take out all the oil refineries hostile countries, sending the entire region into chaos and cutting off oil supplies to all enemies except Russia.

4. Take control of Canada and Mexico, and keep going south to Panama, where we seize the Panama canal as well. This would be incredibly easy as we basically control the territory already.

5. Using bases in Japan, Korea, Guam, and corroboration from Taiwan and Vietnam, cut off all overseas trade to China. Within a short amount of time the lack of food and increasingly impossible conditions the CCP will collapse effectively overnight. Their ballistic missile stockpile will pose a small problem, but if they become too much of an inconvenience, and you don't mind warcrimes(which why would we who can punish us?) We bomb the Three Gorges Dam, cutting off power and causing massive flooding across the majority of the country, killing the already strained power grid, flood response, and infrastructure.

This also serves the double purpose of cutting of Russia's last major trading partner and allowing us to completely surround North Korea.

From here it's just wrap up, and rebuilding multiple completely destroyed countries.

TLDR: If you aren't the US the only reason you exist is because we allow you to.

I am kind of worried, thats sounds extremely well thought out, but you forgot Australia.

[Frustration]

17 hours ago, Scars of Hathsin said:

I am kind of worried, thats sounds extremely well thought out, but you forgot Australia.

With control of the South China Sea and the Suez and Panama Canals we control their trade with the rest of the world.

Not to mention the military bases in Guam the Philippines, and Australia itself.

[TheOokla929]

On 8/22/2023 at 0:41 PM, Frustration said:

My time has come.

 

1. Be the US of A. This has multiple advantages, the first being that all other countries are vassal states in all but name, and the second being that no outside force could ever even come close to defeating the US, and I will die on that hill.

2. Threaten to leave NATO and stop giving any foreign aid to Europe, while also actively developing natural resources in the US. Without the inherent protections the US gives Europe, as well as the military and intelligence support Russia will quickly overrun eastern Europe. Use this leverage to gain almost complete control over NATO member states.

3. Seize the Suez Canal, taking control of around ten percent of global trade, this can be most easily accompished by using staging grounds in Israel, and while we're at it lets take out all the oil refineries hostile countries, sending the entire region into chaos and cutting off oil supplies to all enemies except Russia.

4. Take control of Canada and Mexico, and keep going south to Panama, where we seize the Panama canal as well. This would be incredibly easy as we basically control the territory already.

5. Using bases in Japan, Korea, Guam, and corroboration from Taiwan and Vietnam, cut off all overseas trade to China. Within a short amount of time the lack of food and increasingly impossible conditions the CCP will collapse effectively overnight. Their ballistic missile stockpile will pose a small problem, but if they become too much of an inconvenience, and you don't mind warcrimes(which why would we who can punish us?) We bomb the Three Gorges Dam, cutting off power and causing massive flooding across the majority of the country, killing the already strained power grid, flood response, and infrastructure.

This also serves the double purpose of cutting of Russia's last major trading partner and allowing us to completely surround North Korea.

From here it's just wrap up, and rebuilding multiple completely destroyed countries.

TLDR: If you aren't the US the only reason you exist is because we allow you to.

*nervous chuckle*

Guys, who’s gonna help me get this guy elected 

[Frustration]

On 8/20/2023 at 10:31 PM, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

YUS!

Here's my _____ step plan to destroy the US and retake it!

(Btw, this isn't serious and would most likely fail so quickly)

Step five: start a loooot of contention between all of the different groups, start highlighting differences and making controversies and dramas start to happen.

This is the only problem. The easy breaks in America would divide it into two parts and one side is dramatically stronger than the other, a civil war thus started would likely end within 72 hours with one side emerging basically unscathed.

 

I may have spent a lot of time looking into a possible second civil war.