Swimmingly he/him Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Get a Soother friend to come. Not for the kids. For you. 3
Quiver he/him Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 (edited) Maybe this is how Odium breaks Shards? He convinces them to babysit an unreality brood of voidbringers, giving them a spli(n)tearing headache. Edited June 6, 2014 by Quiver 3
Pathfinder Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I forget which feruchemal metal lets you store breath, but challenge all the kids to a breath holding contest. Then tap air while pretending to hold your breath. Wait for all of them to pass out, and then relax for the remainder of the babysitting job. 4
king of nowhere Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 What, so few people here actually like playing with children? I would use atium feruchemy to go back to their age. then I could have a fair wrestling match with them. Or, I would put metal belts on them and bring them to climb trees, acting as their safety net. Or I could riot their curiosity and explain science to them. 10
Pathfinder Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 What, so few people here actually like playing with children? I would use atium feruchemy to go back to their age. then I could have a fair wrestling match with them. Or, I would put metal belts on them and bring them to climb trees, acting as their safety net. Or I could riot their curiosity and explain science to them. No, I think just that based on this thread and the prior one, this forum likes to use overwhelming and incredible powers to screw and or prank people. Just my two cents lol. 1
Fifth of Daybreak he/him Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Or I could riot their curiosity and explain science to them. Riot their curiosity and give them Brandon Sanderson. Now you've got them under control for weeks! 15
Fatebreaker he/him Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Get a Soother friend to come. Not for the kids. For you. Hmm, tried that. he ended up as a toad as well
Jo and the Bush all/any Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Have them both Ingest Sazedium, then let them store Wakefullness.
Fifth of Daybreak he/him Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 "All right children, now repeat after me. "My life to yours, my breath become yours."" 12
Baine he/him Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Darn you people! I just recovered my quota of upvotes! 3
Dellexe he/him Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Put them inside of an Allomantic time bubble until they're old enough to handle themselves. 1
SmurfAquamarineBodies he/him Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Use Awakening to Awaken 10,000 or so animals of various species, none bigger than a bulldog. Then play army men with them. 2
Peng the Just he/him Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Use Awakening to Awaken 10,000 or so animals of various species, none bigger than a bulldog. Then play army men with them."Sir, the lemmings are attacking the squirrel division""Release the corgi" "But sir..." "I said release the corgi!" 8
Lightsworn Panda he/him Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 "But Sir, they have a Baby Poodle AND a Dachshund!" "What!? Impossible! Did they steal the neighbor's dogs AGAIN!? I told them it was illegal!" "It doesn't matter! The squirrels are getting overwhelmed!" "Fine. Send in the Baby Panda and the Honey Badger." "But I thought..." "Never mind. They broke the rules, then so can I" 7
Delightful Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Riot their curiosity and give them Brandon Sanderson. Now you've got them under control for weeks! Weeks? I think week if you're lucky. 1
Shaggai Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Hemalurgically give them Feruchemical aluminum, so they can access your metalminds. Then give them copperminds filled with memories of major unsolved physics problems and zincminds so they can understand what it means. Then give them back to the parents and watch the hilarity. Basically, this, but it works with younger children: http://xkcd.com/1145/ 1
Dellexe he/him Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Put them in a square of Lines of Forbiddance then draw the Line of Silencing on the wall. Take a nap. 2
Kobold King he/him Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 Put them in a square of Lines of Forbiddance then draw the Line of Silencing on the wall. Take a nap. Taunt them without end. Fixed that for you. 4
Haradion Drogon Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Can't decide with we hate children... Or its just the idea that with all of these powers we become superhuman... And with all of these powers against small children - we become Gods. Hmm... I think the line of Silencing might be by far the most useful tool... That and the Lashing to the Bed might be the coolest. But... Lets try some more entertaining techniques. I actually quite like kids, and probably wouldn't leave them like that for long... well... not *too* long... Hmm... Odds are children weigh less than you... So Belt buckles, Iron, and Steel pushing. Lets go flying! Of course, a very simple technique would be to use Lightweaving to create a façade of the child's parent's should they get too over excited... And using that illusion, gain express permission to actually use said techniques... Hmm... Use lightweaving to bring their Pokémon/trading card characters to life? Play real battles? We need creative solutions to providing food. I can't cook - but parents would expect me to feed their children I imagine... 1
Kobold King he/him Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 We need creative solutions to providing food. I can't cook - but parents would expect me to feed their children I imagine... Soulcast their least favorite toys into bread and jam. Or their favorite toys, depending on how they behave.
Haradion Drogon Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 That's a good plan! Hmm... Other useful tips: Children always tell lies - so get some Cryptics in here... Forge-fix their broken toys is always a good plan... Hmm... You know how everyone likes to spin around on those office chairs? Awaken perfectly normal wooden chairs - and ta dah! Instant child jousting! 1
Kobold King he/him Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 Here's where Edgedancer powers come in handy. Use the Abrasion Surge to send them sliding across the house! Use the Regrowth Surge to do away with the inevitable injuries!
Haradion Drogon Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Okay. I have it. The ultimate Babysitting technique. Hell. I hope this finds a way into the one of the future Cosmere books... Explain, normally, precisely what the child is and is not allowed to do. Invite them to play whatever they want. Possibly with the Invesitur-boosted activities above. However, once a child does something wrong, swears, engages in physical violence, bores you, wets the bed etc, the real fun begins. You simply send them to their room, for a Time Out. Cosmere style. Step One: Create small square area with Lines of Forbiddence Step Two: Use the abrasion surge to remove all friction from their shoe's/floors. Then use it on the beds they are lying on, their toys, their furniture, their game controllers etc. Step Three: Place them in a Bendalloy bubble. Step Four: Apply Line of Silencing. Step Five: Both Riot their boredom, but at the same time, their irritation and 'wakefullness'. Sooth away feelings of fatigue or sleepyness. Step Six: Watch they attempt to exist in totally frictionless environment. Observe how they do this in slow motion, as they try to move. Trying to drag themselves across the floor fails. Trying to grip hold of anything fails miserably. The bendalloy not only allows to watch all of this in hilarious slow motion, but can also be used to extent the length of "Time Out" by any length. A true Time out. See - sending a child to their room, rarely works. they simply end up playing in their room. Not thinking about what they have done in the slightest. Therefore... We have talked about how using the cosmere can be used to excite and make play time enjoyable. I think however, it can also be used to do the opposite quite effectively. Does this make me a terrible human being? 9
Swimmingly he/him Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Yes. Also, maybe are you thinking of a Cadmium bubble?
Jo and the Bush all/any Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 (edited) <Words> Does this make me a terrible human being? We were already Terrible People. This just proves it. Edited June 8, 2014 by Hello. My name is Joe 1
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