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Posted

Fake news, my friend! The effort of dragging your mouse across the table, finger across the mousepad, or finger across the screen to click the color button, then spending so much time to find the white text color, then actually CLICKING it, and then typing what you want to say is simply too much effort for the human body to take. Anyone who tried would simply die. It would be much easier to simply create your own language for personal use.

You should probably not smash an RTG with a hammer.

Posted

Actually, this is a tenacious misconception! As the world hunger organization (WHO) decreed in 1982, you should limit your calory intake to one weekday only. The remaining freedom of choice as to which weekday is to be feasted upon then brought forth the maxim "You should eat any day" which, finally, was twisted into the false, albeit appealing, version of the statement you just cited. 

 

Science is a kind of religion, too!

 

Posted

(Unfortunately you're right...) I mean... absolutely not. Science is the completely objective pursuit of truth and no one ever promotes their own opinions or beliefs as fact. Yup. 

Grapefruit is nothing like grapes. 

Posted

Uh... no! Paper comes from a bush, silly! Since paper doesn't have seeds, it can't be a fruit and must be a berry, which doesn't have seeds. As we all know, trees only grow fruit and bushes only grow berries, so paper grows on bushes as a berry.

Turbofan engines are significantly more effective than turbojet engines.

Posted

Actually, they're about the same. They're both "turbo," which means they do the same thing. They create tornados. Obviously. Turbojets just create waternados.

In 1787, I'm told, our founding fathers did agree to write a list of principles for keeping people free.

Posted

No they didn't! What would make you think that? They wrote all of those lists to trick the aliens into thinking we were a civilized species. 

The silk road was important to trade and travel circa 1200

Posted

No, sadly. If You existed we’d all be in India right now at a Sharder Potluck.

That darned elusive Pimpernel!

Posted

Calculators are notorious for in-flight failures, especially due to the unneeded complexity of it's engine system. It's failure rate exceeded 85% in 1987 and was discontinued a year later and removed from service with the Lao People's Liberation Army Air force in 1994.

Highways are very useful.

Posted

What we now know as "highways" are not real highways, because they are below 25,000 feet. Highways haven't been around in a long time. The UN banned them due to excessive cases of altitude sickness. People who went on them brought altitude sickness wherever they went.

Breakfast is nice.

Posted

Actually breakfast is very rude, if you see him you should whack him in the face.

You should throw away moldy food.

Posted

Speaking as someone who came from an egg, I can confidently say that there are no nuts in eggs.

Legs have many uses, including walking and brother-kicking.

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

actually walking and brother kicking are done with the feet, the legs are used in running and sister kicking, though the latter is frowned upon in polite society.

polite society is in fact not a acronym, nor should anyone ever make it one.

 

  • 1 month later...
Posted

“Nor” isn’t a word. I think you mean “or.”

Tennessine is the most recently discovered element.

Posted

Well actually, since Tennessine consists mostly of Iron, we've always known about it in our hearts.

 

Sporks are useless because they make terrible spoons.

  • 4 months later...

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