The Battle for the Sandwich

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

12 hours ago, GG0z said:

What ducks?!?

"Those ones!" I yell as I duck. A winged being hits you on the head. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

2 minutes ago, Ink and Embers said:

"Those ones!" I yell as I duck. A winged being hits you on the head. 

While you're busy ducking, Clone hits the bat with an octopus, which proceeds to cloud the water with ink.

While Ink is covered in ink, Clone steals the sandwich and swims away

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

12 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

While you're busy ducking, Clone hits the bat with an octopus, which proceeds to cloud the water with ink.

While Ink is covered in ink, Clone steals the sandwich and swims away

I mistake Clone for an octopus and send a shark swimming after him,  equipped with heat-seeking missiles.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

2 minutes ago, Ink and Embers said:

I mistake Clone for an octopus and send a shark swimming after him,  equipped with heat-seeking missiles.

Clone deploys his heat-seeking-missile-seeking missiles, but they fail and hit Mars, so he instead uses the Sandwich to block the missiles.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

16 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Clone deploys his heat-seeking-missile-seeking missiles, but they fail and hit Mars, so he instead uses the Sandwich to block the missiles.

The heat-seeking missiles are so alarmed by the sudden freezing aura surrounding the Sandwich that they explode into a small shower of sparks and cogs. Unfortunately, you are also in range of the freezing aura.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

2 minutes ago, Ink and Embers said:

The heat-seeking missiles are so alarmed by the sudden freezing aura surrounding the Sandwich that they explode into a small shower of sparks and cogs. Unfortunately, you are also in range of the freezing aura.

"Sparks," I say upon existing physically in this place, and Clone pulls out a magnet to steal all the cogs.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

2 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

"Sparks," I say upon existing physically in this place, and Clone pulls out a magnet to steal all the cogs.

I wave at you enthusiastically and pass you a bandage. You have no choice. Actually, you do have a choice: you can take the bandage or have it wrapped around your head. 

"You won't be able to reconstruct the missiles!" I yell after Clone, "I don't know where those cogs came from but they're definitely not the ones I was using earlier!"

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

4 minutes ago, Ink and Embers said:

9 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

 

I wave at you enthusiastically and pass you a bandage. You have no choice. Actually, you do have a choice: you can take the bandage or have it wrapped around your head. 

I take the bandage and begin coughing when I realise I'm underwater. An unkeyed cadmiummind falls from the sky and I begin tapping it.

6 minutes ago, Ink and Embers said:

 

"You won't be able to reconstruct the missiles!" I yell after Clone, "I don't know where those cogs came from but they're definitely not the ones I was using earlier!"

"I won't be reconstructing heat-seeking missiles!" he calls back after gaining the ability to speak underwater. However, the octopus from before tackles him before he can say anymore.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

1 minute ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

I take the bandage and begin coughing when I realise I'm underwater. An unkeyed cadmiummind falls from the sky and I begin tapping it.

"I won't be reconstructing heat-seeking missiles!" he calls back after gaining the ability to speak underwater. However, the octopus from before tackles him before he can say anymore.

I also pass you an unkeyed coppermind. And a float. Then I send the octopus a float. Clone can cope, which autocorrected to vote. Can Clone vote?

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

11 minutes ago, Ink and Embers said:

I also pass you an unkeyed coppermind. And a float. Then I send the octopus a float. Clone can cope, which autocorrected to vote. Can Clone vote?

I use the float and tap the coppermind cautiously.

The octopus bonks Clone with its float, and Clone counter-bonks with the Maw 26.

Clone can vote in the Spectrum, which has done nothing in a really long time, so yes.

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

4 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

I use the float and tap the coppermind cautiously.

The octopus bonks Clone with its float, and Clone counter-bonks with the Maw 26.

Clone can vote in the Spectrum, which has done nothing in a really long time, so yes.

The coppermind contains 380 hours of dancing cat memes.

The shark watches the mortal combat taking place and offers you some spaghetti. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

3 minutes ago, Ink and Embers said:

The coppermind contains 380 hours of dancing cat memes.

The shark watches the mortal combat taking place and offers you some spaghetti. 

I die of dancing cat memes, but not before eating the spaghetti. 

The octopus, its float now consumed by the Maw 26, counter-counter-bonks Clone with a blue whale.

[GG0z He/Him]

meanwhile, I stand around, reading a book, using it to deflect flying objects

Edited Sunday at 02:25 PM by GG0z

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

9 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

I die of dancing cat memes, but not before eating the spaghetti. 

The octopus, its float now consumed by the Maw 26, counter-counter-bonks Clone with a blue whale.

The shark counter-counter-counter-bonks the octopus with a television. 

2 hours ago, GG0z said:

meanwhile, I stand around, reading a book, using it to deflect flying objects

Several UFOs collide in the sky above you. 

[GG0z He/Him]

8 minutes ago, Ink and Embers said:

The shark counter-counter-counter-bonks the octopus with a television. 

Several UFOs collide in the sky above you. 

the explosions rain down on me

[Factor She/Her]

I borrow one of the explosions to use later

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

6 hours ago, Ink and Embers said:

The shark counter-counter-counter-bonks the octopus with a television. 

Several UFOs collide in the sky above you. 

Clone Awakens the television, and it counter-counter-counter-counter-bonks the whale with the shark

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

13 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Clone Awakens the television, and it counter-counter-counter-counter-bonks the whale with the shark

I summon Gert, an exceptionally irate pigeon, who counter-counter-counter-counter-counter-bonks the television with a whale shark. 

I spontaneously combust.

[GG0z He/Him]

3 hours ago, Ink and Embers said:

I summon Gert, an exceptionally irate pigeon, who counter-counter-counter-counter-counter-bonks the television with a whale shark. 

I spontaneously combust.

Ooo! I remember Gert!

the pigeon attacks me over and over again because if somethibg my ancestors did to pigeonkind

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

1 hour ago, GG0z said:

Ooo! I remember Gert!

the pigeon attacks me over and over again because if somethibg my ancestors did to pigeonkind

Yay!!!!!!! (I have a cult of six pigeon characters who are slowly appearing on the Shard; so far we have Gert here and Kevin on TLT)

This is completely in character for Gert. I summon a shark again, which is completely in character for me. I think. 

[-ACE- he/him]

I quote Macbeth, which is entirely out of character for me. "By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes" Then I make a sushi bar out of some nearby kelp. I reach for your shark so I can give some sushi to GG0z. It doesn't work. My table I am using falls limply back down as I try to cut the shark. Then the shark starts floating. Oh wait. We all start floating. Oops. Still quoting Macbeth, but in fear of the floating shark, I say "How is't with me, when every splash appalls me? What fins are here? Ha! They pluck out mine eyes." 

I swim through the air away from the shark