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Chaos

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Sweetness

Sweetness

Posted
Posted

Ladies and gentlemen of the 17th Shard, I give you...

Payback. :P

[01:46] <@Shivertongue> >.>

[01:47] <+Windrunner17> <.<

[01:47] <Sweetness> >.>

[01:47] <+Windrunner17> ^.^

[01:47] <+Windrunner17> There are none pointing down :(

[01:47] <lyssie> If it helps, earlier this month was the fifth anniversary of metting him the second time :P

[01:47] <lyssie> *meeting

[01:47] <Sweetness> v.v

[01:48] <+Windrunner17> Hahaha you're so funny

[01:48] <Sweetness> /schooled

[01:48] <+Windrunner17> HOW?

[01:48] <Sweetness> Seriously, sweetie?

[01:48] <lyssie> She is magic

[01:48] * Windrunner17 is blind.

[01:48] <lyssie> That is how

[01:48] <lyssie> Also, internet is my guess

[01:48] <Sweetness> it's right next to the "b"

[01:49] <+Windrunner17> Is not

[01:49] * lyssie doesn't have it :P

[01:49] <+Windrunner17> To the top is g & h

[01:49] <+Windrunner17> v &n are on either side

[01:49] <Sweetness> Between "c" and "b"

[01:49] <Sweetness> come on, guys

[01:49] <+Windrunner17> and space is one bottom

[01:49] <+Windrunner17> OH MY GOD.

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EHyde
EHyde

Dude, Sweetness, I should be getting upvotes for that not you :-P

little wilson
little wilson

So. The chatroom. Hilarity ensues in the spoiler tag. I suggest reading what's in the spoiler tag (yes, I know it's long. Trust me--it's worth it) before reading what's below. Since you'll understand

Observer
Observer
Shivertongue

Shivertongue

Posted
Posted

Taz completely failed to live up to horror movie expectations...

***Tazren joined the chat room.

[4:30pm] Lyrebon: Hey Taz

[4:31pm] Tazren: hey Lyrebon

[4:32pm] Lyrebon: how's tricks?

[4:32pm] Tazren: Good

[4:32pm] Tazren: been away for the weekend

[4:32pm] Tazren: well, more away from home than I already am, as I'm at my dad's ...

[4:33pm] Tazren: but I was away with friends at a cottage in the woods near a lake

[4:33pm] Tazren: It was fun

[4:36pm] Shivertongue: What'd you do when the killer showed up?

[4:36pm] Lyrebon: the one with the hockey mask

[4:37pm] Tazren: Well, we didn't have a killer, exactly.

[4:37pm] Tazren: We were stalked by a cat, though.

[4:37pm] Tazren: That wanted food in exchange for cuddling. And scratched the windows in the evenings. And then howled a lot during the night when it wasn't let in.

[4:38pm] Lyrebon: man, I would've punched it

[4:38pm] Shivertongue: Worst. Horror movie. Ever.

[4:38pm] Tazren: howled or ... whatever cats do.

[4:38pm] Lyrebon: xD

[4:38pm] Lyrebon: Were-cat

[4:38pm] Tazren: We chased it off several times. It just came back, kind of like dog.

[4:39pm] Tazren: Just ran around "pet me pet me pet me, look at me, I'm so cute, pet me pet me pet me"

[4:39pm] Shivertongue: Well, it sounds good, but I'll be honest.

[4:39pm] Lyrebon: like I said, should've punched it

[4:39pm] Shivertongue: I'mgonna wait until it comes out on DVD.

[4:39pm] Shivertongue: And maybe pick it up if there's a sale.

[4:40pm] Lyrebon: yeah, if no-one died it can't be that good

[4:40pm] Shivertongue: IT should have wanted food in exchange for you all dying.

[4:41pm] Tazren: Yeah, I guess we didn't plan it out well enough

[4:41pm] Shivertongue: And it should have possessed someone in the group.

[4:41pm] Tazren: we just sort of improvised

[4:41pm] Shivertongue: Preferably the 'hot-girl-nobody-reallizes-is-hot-because-she-wears-glasses'.

[4:42pm] Lyrebon: the virgin?

[4:42pm] Shivertongue: Doesn't have to be a virgin.

[4:42pm] Lyrebon: usually is

[4:42pm] Lyrebon: or one adverse to sex

[4:42pm] Lyrebon: they might aswel be virgins

[4:43pm] Shivertongue: I think we've moved past the 'only virgins survive' trope.

[4:43pm] Shivertongue: And the 'only drug-free' survivors too.

[4:43pm] Lyrebon: gotta branch out to keep the originality

[4:44pm] Shivertongue: I just don;t want to see someone in the group turn out to be the killer.

[4:44pm] Tazren: https://photos-3.dropbox.com/si/2048x1536/nxzvjuIuKivIbTzV-WD2BucFzcd_Q2fFMNyRj2mxYbk/7520938/1343080800/40a4244/Photo%202012-07-21%2015%2046%2026.jpg <--- I guess the cat didn't really look mean enough, either ...

[4:44pm] Lyrebon: ugh yeah

[4:44pm] Lyrebon: worst plot twist EVAH!

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Windrunner

Windrunner

Posted
Posted

I've got a good one, but it requires a tad of back story. Sweetness (purple), lyssie (red), Shivertongue (green) and I were playing kdice online together. We usually talk and team up in the chatroom, so this time was no exception. I was a tad too late to join a match but they were all in it, so I decided to wait. I had a rather... colorful conversation with one of the people they were playing.

Drucifer85: flag purp (Sweetness)

Sweetness12th: what?

Drucifer85: means i'll take2nd, you first...we kill red (lyssie)

Berna: ?

Windrunner17: Something tells me that's not gonna happen.

Drucifer85: lol, i'm just gonna lauhgh at these questions.

Drucifer85: that small window purp had is gone.

Windrunner17: You're not looking so good yourself.

Drucifer85: LMAO, what a nooby REDACTED they both are.

Windrunner17: At least we can spell...

Drucifer85: And I can't?

Drucifer85: Please enlighten me, grey

Windrunner17: Well, last I checked nooby isn't a word.

Shivertongue: And if it was, it would be spelled "newbie".

Windrunner17: LMAO makes you sound pretty crass and idiotic too

Drucifer85: I'm guessing this "17" y/o commenting but not sitting at a 0-table has no REDACTED idea.

Windrunner17: Haha it may look weird I know. I know red, green, and purple and they invited me to the table, but I showed up too late. So I'm not just creeping.

Drucifer85: Ooooooh! Windrunner 17....A level 5 player would know exactly how to spell "Noob" being that he is one. Hahaha, gtfo

Drucifer85: Good show chap. But I don't need corrected from a NOOBY REDACTED like you.

Drucifer85 has left

Windrunner17: Haha. You tell me I have no life? Yet you gain pride by being good at this game, which you've obviously spent so much time mastering. Run away you loser.

Meanwhile in our chatroom...

[22:01] <+Windrunner17> Sweetness: Someone flagged you!

[22:01] <@Shivertongue> I was gonna use that to claim some brown jerk land.

[22:01] <+Windrunner17> That's so cool

[22:02] <AlyssaW> the game doesn't want me to hurt you, sweet

[22:02] <Sweetness> haha

[22:02] <+Windrunner17> He wants you to gang up on lyssie XD

[22:03] <Sweetness> psh

[22:03] <AlyssaW> he is in waaaay too sorry a position to pull that kind of crap

[22:04] <Sweetness> haha

[22:04] <AlyssaW> can you damage gold at all?

[22:04] <+Windrunner17> Do you guys see me arguing with brown?

[22:05] <Sweetness> haha Windy

[22:06] * Windrunner17 loves shutting idiots down.

[22:06] <Sweetness> man

[22:06] <Sweetness> Lyssie eviscerated me while I was distracted

[22:06] <AlyssaW> just a bit

[22:08] <Nesh> Not nice

[22:09] <Sweetness> I think you won, Windy

[22:09] <+Windrunner17> Last comment :P

[22:09] <Sweetness> I love yoyu

[22:10] <+Windrunner17> Thank you :D

Also, I realize this may not be funny to anyone who wasn't there (I had to preserve it for posterity!). However, I do feel the need to point out that this "amazing" player, who was so much above a level 5, was bested by level 3's. Oh how I love irony. :D

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lyssie95

lyssie95

Posted
Posted (edited)

Oh, the lofty, high-minded intellectual discussions we have on the chatroom

[00:28] <@RubixKube> because your mom's an anti hero

[00:30] <@Shivertongue> :P

[00:30] <@RubixKube> ::PP

[00:30] * @Shivertongue grumbles about people not knowing what an anti-hero actually is...

[00:30] <lyssie> your mom is so fat, she doesn't need a metalmind to weigh as much as 12 people

[00:30] <@RubixKube> oh ho!!!

[00:30] <Sweetness_> haha

[00:30] <lyssie> ...or something like that. I don't remember it quite right

[00:31] <@Shivertongue> Your mom is so ugly, even Nightblood wouldn't stick her.

[00:32] * lyssie isn't original enough to come up with that herself

[00:33] <lyssie> your mom is so ugly, they accidentaly threw her into Elantris

[00:33] <Sweetness> Yo momma so fat, she fell down and shattered Adonalsium

[00:35] <lyssie> your mom is so ugly, Wit didn't know where to start

[00:36] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma so fat AND ugly, even Sadeas won't go after that gemheart.

[00:36] <Sweetness> You know why they're called the Shattered Plains?

[00:37] <Sweetness> Your mom tripped.

[00:38] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma tried to release Ruin, but he couldn't find his way out.

[00:39] <Sweetness> XD ew

[00:40] <Sweetness> Yo momma so fat, Szeth doesn't need to Lash things to her

[00:41] <@zas678> Back again.

[00:41] <Sweetness> Hey Zas

[00:41] <Sweetness> Cosmere yo momma jokes!

[00:41] <lyssie> your mom is so fat, Kal didn't dare tir her to the top of the bridge

[00:41] <lyssie> *tie

[00:42] <lyssie> inspired by http://twitpic.com/73p91i

[00:42] <@zas678> Yo momma's so fat that when Adonalsium shattered, she took ALL the shards.

[00:42] <lyssie> for the record

[00:42] <Nesh> You Momma;s s ugly even Preservation wanted to get rid of her.

[00:42] <@zas678> Perfect.

[00:42] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma so fat, she gets cardiac arrest waiting for ten heartbeats.

more amazingness behind the spoiler

[00:42] <@zas678> Your mommas so bland that even Nightblood can't get breaths from her.

[00:43] <Sweetness> Yo momma so fat, the Shardplate doesn't fit

[00:43] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma so fat, the Shardplate is cracked on arrival.

[00:43] <@zas678> Yo momma so fat, when she fell down, she broke the Aons again.

[00:43] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma so fat, she has to wait for Highstorms to take a shower.

[00:44] <Sweetness> Yo momma so dumb, she tried to burn her metals in a fire

[00:44] <lyssie> your mom is so fat, her village uses her as cover from highstorms

[00:44] <Sweetness> XD

[00:44] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma so fat, when she farted, the village thought it was a highstorm.

[00:44] <Nesh> Your momma's so fat she chokes Kandra

[00:44] <@zas678> Yo momma so fat, it took three kandra to imitate her body.

[00:45] <lyssie> lol

[00:46] <lyssie> yo momma so fat, she could only get a toe in the shardpool

[00:46] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma so ugly, Blushweaver tried the Lifeless passwords on her.

[00:46] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma so ugly, she only Returned because death wouldn't take her.

[00:46] <lyssie> your mom is so fat and ugly, that when they tried to toss her into elantris she wouldn't fit through the gates

[00:47] <Sweetness> Yo momma so fat, she's what really knocked Scadrial off it's axix

[00:47] <Sweetness> axis

[00:47] <Nesh> Your momma's so fat an ungly not even Returning could make her midly attractive

[00:48] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma so ugly, being covered in ash was an improvement.

[00:48] <Nesh> yo momma's so fat she could plug all the ashmounts at the same time

[00:49] <lyssie> Your momma so fat, at night skaa run from the "mistwraith"

[00:49] <Sweetness> Yo momma so fat, she tried to steeljump and nothing happened

[00:50] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma so fat, even her atium shadows crack the ground.

[00:51] <lyssie> Yo momma so fat, she can Push a whole mountain away

[00:51] <Sweetness> Fact: Roshar only has two moons. The third is yo momma.

[00:51] <Nesh> Yo Momma's so dub she tried to fill a zincmind and nothing happened. (makes more sense than a coppermind.)

[00:53] <lyssie> Yo momma so ugly someone mistook her portrait for a voidbringer

[00:53] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma so ugly, the ardents became heretics.

[00:53] <@zas678> Yo momma so fat, Kaladin used her as a bridge

[00:54] <@Shivertongue> You know what really broke the Oathpact?

[00:54] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma fell on it.

[00:54] <Nesh> Yo mamma is so ugly she's Odium's justification

[00:54] <lyssie> Yo momma so fat, when the Inquisitors spiked her they couldn't get a bindpoint

[00:55] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma so fat, when they tried to spike her, it bounced off.

[00:55] <Nesh> Yo momma's so fat she sat down and shattered Adonalsium.

[00:56] <lyssie> Yo momma's so ugly Zane didn't ignore God

[00:56] <Sweetness> Yo momma so fat, Luthadel mistook her for an approaching army

[00:56] <@Shivertongue> zas: HE'S A DOUCHEBAG!

[00:57] <lyssie> Yo momma's so fat, a coinshot can't get a coin past the folds

[00:57] <Nesh> You're momma's so fat and ugly, and stupid Luthadel mistook here for a hundred thousand koloss.

[00:57] <lyssie> Yo momma's so fat, even spren are scared they'll get stepped on

[00:58] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma's so fat, after she visited Scadrial, they worried they'd run outta waffles.

[00:58] <Sweetness> XD

[00:58] <Sweetness> Yo momma so fat she doesn't fit in Shadesmar

[00:59] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma so fat, Hoid needs Shadesmar to get to her.

[00:59] <Nesh> Yo Mama's so fat that when she visits Roshar all the obssityspen on the planet float around her.

[00:59] <Sweetness> Yo momma so fat, a Shard landed on her and tried to create life

[00:59] <lyssie> The only reason the Shin still have dirt is yo momma hasn't farted there yet

[00:59] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma so fat, ugly, and dumb, the Silence Divine world gave up.

[01:00] <lyssie> I like that one, sweet

[01:00] <Sweetness> ^_^

[01:01] <Nesh> Yo momma's so fat Hoid uses her to hide from the Seventeenth Shard.

[01:02] <lyssie> Adonalsium used to be a mirror....until yo mamma looked in it

[01:02] <Sweetness> XD

[01:02] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma so ugly, Ruin figured he'd already been there.

[01:03] <@zas678> Yo momma so mean, Odium started taking lessons

[01:03] <Sweetness> Yo momma so fat, she's a Windwaddler

[01:03] <Nesh> Yo Momma's so ugly they tried to throw her in Elantris when she was born

[01:04] <Sweetness> Yo momma so ugly, even Devotion said "no"

[01:04] <@Chaos2651> back...

[01:04] <Sweetness> Cosmere yo momma jokes!

[01:04] <lyssie> Yo mamma so fat, it took months to make her safehand's sleeve

[01:05] <lyssie> ...is there a name for the sleeve on the dress?

[01:05] <@zas678> I don't think so

[01:05] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma so fat, they needed six chasmfiends to make her bra.

[01:05] <Sweetness> I don't think there is

[01:05] <lyssie> Yo mamma so fat, it took months to make a glove for her safehand

[01:05] <Sweetness> Yo momma so fat,t hey thought she *was* six chasmfiends

[01:06] <@zas678> Yo momma so fat, the Parshendi now worship a new god

[01:06] <Sweetness> You momma so ugly, they cut off her safehand

[01:06] <Nesh> Yo monna's so ugly Kenton really was lucky to get a three-legged tonk out of the trde

[01:06] <@Shivertongue> You know why Shallan killed her father?

[01:06] <@Shivertongue> She found out her was marrying yo momma.

[01:07] <Nesh> Ouch

[01:07] <lyssie> Yo momma so fat, when they peeled off her carapace a warcamp used it for a roof

[01:07] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma was Axies' proof that stupidbitchspren were real.

[01:07] <lyssie> ...also, she is apparently parshendi. Shush

[01:08] <Sweetness> Yo momma so dumb, parshmen think she's slow

[01:10] <Nesh> Yo momma's so fat, not even a Shardbade can't pass through

[01:10] <lyssie> Yo momma so fat, she'd eat chull dung chutney

[01:11] <Sweetness> Yo momma so fat, she squished a Ryshadium

[01:12] <lyssie> was thinking of doing that one, but figured i'd spell it wrong :P

[01:12] <Sweetness> I think I did...

[01:12] <lyssie> We interrupt this joke stream to ask a legit question

[01:12] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma too dumb to answer it.

INTERMISSION

[01:39] <Sweetness> Yo momma so fat, she doesn't fit in a bendalloy bubble

[01:39] <@Shivertongue> Coppermind makes as much sense as zincmind....

[01:39] <Sweetness> either one works

[01:40] <@Shivertongue> Yo momma so ugly, Windwhispers store sight and never tap it again.

[01:42] <Sweetness> Yo momma so fat, they built Urithiru on top of her

Edited by lyssie95
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Shivertongue

Shivertongue

Posted
Posted

[4:44pm] ****Lyrebon joined the chat room.

[4:44pm] Shivertongue: I am intrigued by the idea of a secret order of holy clown-assassins.

[4:44pm] ****Lyrebon left the chat room. (Client Quit)

The timing on this was just perfect. xD

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lyssie95

lyssie95

Posted
Posted (edited)

This happened in the chatbox of a game of kdice

Akiva Kohen: [player] is a dead fellow

aeries: <shrugs> the way of the dice

panzer is here

aeries: I wonder if I can get in the top 3 unlucky rankings again this month

Akiva Kohen: is that a book written by Sum Hoo?

Akiva Kohen: "The Way of the Dice"

lyssie95: too many "the"s

lyssie95: The Way of Dice is better

....I don't have any particular reason for suggesting that word pattern. And it is by Brandon Sanderson, not Sum Hoo ^^

Edited by lyssie95
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