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About this blog

They watch us, each move.

Hidden, they see us.

Quietly, they take us.

 

We are but ants to Them,

Living in a glass world,

On display,

Our daily lives,

Unbeknownst and unparseable to us.

Entries in this blog

Main

2026/03/14?

Rambler “They’re coming I know it I’ve seen they they’ve seen me we know we know we know we know…” … “I should just give up they’re probably here already it’s no use I’m dead I’m dead I’m dead…” … “No please no no no stop touching me stop touching me stop touching me please please please…” … “Why can’t I see why can’t I see turn on the lights what is that sound where am I where am I oh where am I…” … “No what are you doing no no no no no please I don’
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2026/02/07

Aaand that's the end of the catching-up. Here are two poems I wrote today. Hope you enjoy :3 And if not...that's okay too :3 Sometimes poetry can be boring...at least in my experience.   So Much;Too Little So much I want to accomplish—try—explore. So many ideas—thoughts—unborn creations. So much time—or so they say. So little time—is what I feel.   I have obligations—of higher priority. I have free time—but no motivation. I have countless ideas—u
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2026/02/12

See previous day for part 1.   Day - pt. 2 Lily stood there, shocked. No one had ever wanted to spend time with her. No one had asked her to eat lunch with them. And here was Amy—someone Lily didn’t know but would certainly like to befriend—asking her just that. It felt great. “Yeah!” Lily said, smiling. “That would be great!” “Cool,” Amy said as they both walked out of the Statistics classroom. As they walked to the dining hall—Lily shivering all the way, Amy bundl
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2026/02/18

Did I really miss three days? Oopsie.   I’m a Heart Sometimes I feel like a heart, In this cycle. Never stop working, No rest.   But I can’t rest—can’t stop. I’m on the treadmill—not slowing down. I’m on the wheel. To stop means chaos. To not means…a cascade.   So I keep going. Check it off, momentary relief, sigh and continue. Thus is the true cycle of life. If this is even life. It’s not what I dreamed of
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2026/03/29 - Searching

Allowing Rest She did not allow herself to rest, not yet. She could feel herself getting close to the Answer. She strained, reaching across her bedroom floor—the desk had grown too crowded, sagging under the weight of stacked tomes and hundreds of loose papers—and awkwardly grabbed an unorderly pile of papers, almost toppling a nearby stack of books in the process. She filed through the loose stack of pages—some upside-down, sideways, or folded in half—looking for one in particular. She rea
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2026/02/21

Better Person Sometimes you just have to suck it up, And be the better person. Sometimes you just have to realize, That your feelings don’t matter. Sometimes you just need to see, That you don’t need to argue. You don’t need to complain, You can just do it, And enjoy it, Enjoy helping others.   Deeper Understanding You know when you really get someone? When they say something, And are ridiculed? Dismissed? Silen
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2026/02/22?

Ok. The reason for the odd title and thumbnail is because I'm gonna start keeping the after-midnight writing separate from the daytime ones. I wrote these after midnight last night, which was technically today, but that's just confusing. Plus, I want to post them now, but also might write more today, and then would have to go back and edit to add them. So it makes sense, right? Also the reason for "22?" is because it works I guess and still fits alphabetically between .../22 and .../23. So yup.
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2026/03/07 - Life... and Death

I think this was the start--or, rather, continuation--of my anxiety.   YOLO You only live once. One life, so live your best. Or at least enjoy it. You don’t want to be lying, On your deathbed, By saying you have no regrets.   Life can feel short, Or feel long. It can feel like you have so much time—that you don’t have to worry. Or it can feel as if, before you know it, you will be six feet under.   Do what you love,
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2026/03/14 - Hap-pi-ness

Sorry I didn't write much today.. I'll probably write more soon but no promises ofc. I have some ideas though...   Happy Why What Why am I happy, and what do I do with it? I don’t want to lose it, but that means I can’t do it— What I want, what I usually would do. I can’t ensadden myself—can’t sink myself. I need to preserve this feeling, Nurture it, And want it.   π - Lily the Happy I Think
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2026/04/10 - Samantha

This time, from someone's point of view of Lily. (Continuation/more to the Lily series.)     Wanting to Talk Samantha found herself gazing at Lily—sitting in a row in front of her at the corner of the room. She wanted to talk to Lily, get to know her, see what was going on. Lily was always so quiet, Samantha wasn't sure they'd ever spoken together, despite having shared several classes. Sure, Lily answered questions here and there... at least most days... but she was alw
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2026/02/20

Too Much Just a meal. Just a meal. Can I just eat a meal? Clearly not.   I want to leave. Won’t they please stop. This time it’s too much. Too loud. Too much. Too much. I can’t. I can’t. Let me leave. Please just stop. Please get along. Please stop. Please. Please just be quiet. Please be nice. I beg you. I can’t do this. I can’t sit here. It’s too much. So much. I do
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2026/02/25

Posting backlogg   Helpless I can’t watch this, I can’t read this, I just can’t.   It’s all too much, this hate. It’s all so wrong, our fate. Was I born too late?   I feel something deep within—watching this unfold. I feel fear, anger, and deep deep wrongness. I can only ignore it so long—until they come for me.   I feel helpless—paralyzed—watching I feel sorrow and depression. I can only dream, hope, and plea.
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2026/02/11

Day Lily woke up as they did any other day. Their brain suddenly turned on, and they groaned. They snuggled deeper into their covers, but the shrill alarm still sounded from their phone. And that phone—it was all the way across the room. Why had she put it their again? Oh, yeah. For moments like these, when she just wanted to sleep forever. It was so warm though. Why did she have to get up? Lily lay in bed pondering her existence, and eventually the phone silenced itself. He drifted of
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2026/02/03

Challenge A challenge this is not. I sit here—you waste my time. The things you say—I already know. Yet still I fear—succumbing to overconfidence. Yet still I believe—one day you’ll say, Something new—something I need. Something not eye-glazing.   Instead I write this—sitting here. While you chatter along—and I can’t help but listen. I divide my attention—half-wasted. I’m surrounded by fools—or maybe they’re just more expressive of thei
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2026/02/08

Some of these come from SUs...actually I think both of these are lol. So yeah.   24......2025..26 Twenty-twenty-six: Did I ever have a life before this? Was I truly I?   Twenty-twenty-five: What was this amalgamation? What happened in Spring? Summer? I remember only Fall, Winter. I remember only…what happened.   Split in two: First and second “halves.” With the second, and more prominent, leading to now.   Twent
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2026/02/15

Restrained Do you ever feel, Restrained? Do you want things, You can’t have? Or don’t have? Or won’t have?   Do you feel like what you truly want… …is wrong? And therefore… …you just continue along? Not loving what you do, But pretending to.    Not being passionate, Not expressing yourself, Not being you, Not exploring, Not fulfilling, Your inner truth.   Have you ever been scared,
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2026/03/06 - Failure

Holding Back Tears I take a ragged breath, Trying to hold them in. Trying to hold back emotion? But the tears leak anyway, And more follow as the break in the dam widens.   A Failure, Me Why do I keep failing? Making mistakes? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I be kind? Why do I keep causing pain? Am I selfish? Perhaps. If so, the hate I receive is deserved, is it not? The hate from myself and others? What though
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2026/04/12 - Wrongness I Wish Would Go

The Breath Disconnect, Unhooked. Mind freed, Connection severed. What the hell am I doing with this life?   Paranoia Oh no. What does that mean?   New, worrying meanings emerge. Why that word choice? Why so terse? Is that normal? Am I seeing nothing? Why am I scared... Is this real? Am I just... being swindled? Manipulated, played? A pawn, my body stretched as each pulls an arm in opposite directions.
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2026/02/10

The first one's title describes its own creation. Also, sorry I guess for all the posts, but I have a bit of a backlog.   Writing Past Midnight Lily glanced at the clock on her laptop, then back at the pitiful paragraph she’d written. 1:56am. Damn it, she’d done it again. Lily had let the days slip by, pushing off the essay, always “I can do it tomorrow,” until she couldn’t. She literally couldn’t. It was due at the start of class tomorrow. In 7 hours. Lily didn’t know what t
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2026/04/16 - Pain, Suffering, Memory.

Sorry, I've been kinda off and on the Shard.. idk. Just posting what I wrote in the past week or whatever...   Painful Glimpses A word, a place mentioned. Innocently, it drives a knife through your heart. Continuing, they twist until there's nothing left. Through it, held in—no pain expressed.   - Lily
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2026/04/30 - A Casket of Perception, Built From Expectations

Expectations and Identity Am I really what they say, What I’ve grown up being told, believing, An act I kept up, all the while a voice in my head telling me “this is not you”? It said “you don’t actually want this,” and I suppressed it out of fear. Others and I crafted my identity, and I feared contradicting them, changing, rejecting what they thought I was—my purpose, my pride, the reason I was loved? Though the voice questioned if interests had changed—if I was ju
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2026/03/04? - No One To Cry To

No1 2Cry2 (No One To Cry To) When I am sad, Depressed, frustrated, Lonely, confused, Anxious and stressed.   When I am these, The worst thing, Is having no one to cry to. I just have to sit or lay here, Keeping it all inside. I can’t even cry out, Can’t do anything, And it hurts. It hurts so very much, Having no one to cry to, No one to listen, No one that cares, No one there, To hear you. You mig
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2026/02/27 - Not Alone

Not Alone Oh my. I feel very…different. Relieved? Realizing I am not alone. My experience is one others share; It can be explained. People get me. I am not…a bad person. I am not…wrong. It is not…my fault. And help will work. I spent so long —too long— Thinking. Thinking that what I was going through, Was somehow untreatable. I believed for so long —to long— That I had to explain, And still no one
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2026/03/03? - Sick and Empty

Sick of Home I’m homesick, in that, I’m sick of this home. This dreary and unexciting, Uncomfortable and cold, Long-lived, too-long, Home.   I long for a new home, One I enjoy being in, One I seek refuge in, Not refuge from. One I await, Not one I return to with reluctance.   I’m sick of this home, And long for a new one.   Missed Experiences;Missed Life Where is my life? Have I had one? I ge
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2026/04/23 - The Invisible 'It'

Watching, Always. Behind you, Beside you, Can't move, Can't speak, Can't look, But you know it's watching, Watching you always. From the dark window, From the dark room, From... something, anything. Always.   Can't move, can't speak. You freeze, lie still. You know it's watching, Moving is unthinkable, Or it will notice, It will see.   Run, hurry, Through the dark, To the light switch,
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