Holding Back Tears

I take a ragged breath,

Trying to hold them in.

Trying to hold back emotion?

But the tears leak anyway,

And more follow as the break in the dam widens.

A Failure, Me

Why do I keep failing?

Making mistakes?

What’s wrong with me?

Why can’t I be kind?

Why do I keep causing pain?

Am I selfish?

Perhaps.

If so, the hate I receive is deserved, is it not?

The hate from myself and others?

What thoughts and feelings can I trust?

What do I do…

Torrential

Why won’t it rain?

Why won’t it pour?

Storm?

If only I were the Weather Girl,

I could make it so.

I like the soothing sounds,

Of rain on roof,

Water and tires.

A dream indeed.

Something I need.

- Lily