Usseewa

yes lol like about someone and another where someone one where another in which and finally, I'm writing one now about i also actually wrote another that I don't wanna delve into and another that wasn't really sad or anything and to think I said I wouldn't depress myself!

Lol now I'm writing a bunch of depressing stories/stuff lol

*chokes in the blood pooling at my mouth, unable to move*

nice work lol it's just funny seeing the spikes lol

*struggles for a moment, then goes limp*

omg lol

"no... I'm fine...," Lily coughs out, facedown on the pavement.

sigh why did my writings turn so depressing

*trys to do a backflip, fails, breaks neck* haiii!

It's.. better I think? Good overall I suppose. you?

OMG JUST HAD AN IDEA i mean, i had this planned all along hehe i was actually talking about what i was writing turning into horror, but it applies to u2 i suppose. ok sounds good, I'd be down for that *anticipatory movements*

hehe — holy veil this story turned from a melancholy/reflective one into fullblown horror

Lol my upcoming MFD has some saaadddd stuff hehe. Also i might've mentioned but I'm lovin' ur survivor of winslow stuff.

what if we all did what

"Survivor" POV Kelsier Anyway wow! This was amazing. Your writing is very good hehe. I can already see the plot progressing and the story moving forward. Also.. is the laptop destroyed? did it get soaked? why didn't they just give in and drown... it would've been so peaceful...

allg well maybe my meds kicked in idk cuz what we were talking about is but a distant thing nice can't wait to read

Uhh idk I just felt like it because then I get to use my name. I don't think it's a trans thing *shrug*. Tbh I'm pretty sure I "hide" my emotions a lot. Maybe different but like yeah I when angry or upset sometimes I keep it in mostly. Also sorry I'm lost what doubts was I having?

Not worth explaining, it's probably inconsequential don't worry. also I probably sound horrible irl and this is kinda embarrassing to say but I've literally started saying "I know/knew" when someone says something that I was thinking or going to say but didn't and sigh I should probably stop not that people have said anything but they're probably being nice or something idk. Sigh anyway I gotta stop complaining or whatever I'm doing. edit: ugh I hate unmasking sometimes because I just sound like a real.. something. Also wait wdym have some of these convos w/Lily? Which convos?

BHAHAJWIWWIW I always overthink everything, because if I don't then I'll miss stuff and risk sounding stupid but also I'll know less than everyone else!!! Yes I probably should. Idk what you mean (<- this is one of those times I could explain this sentence but I really don't want to. Might not necessarily be unmasking but yeah anyway ask if u need explanation. Oh wait I just did it again facepalm.)

Yeah, I kinda get that I think. Most of the time I've just seen ADHD as not a problem and kinda something I have to live with but not in a bad way, like it's there but it's not impairing me (only it kinda is hehe). Actually maybe this os different from what you're sayin'. — ("Assimilating cultural norms? Whaaaattt, nooo, me?" [if that don't make sense, basically I'm saying that I've seen you and others use a hyphen or em dash to, like, separate different parts of the post like stuff idk how to explain but YK WHAT I MEANNNNNn]) btw guys I added substantial edits to my post above. Edit: oh ig i might overly explain every layer of thinking so I don't seem like I didn't consider it just because I didn't do it or fall for it or ignore it or think of it. Basically I wanna seem like I didn't ignore or not think of anything. Because I didn't. Except when I do.

I don't quite follow? Also is this ADHD, OCD, or just smth else: I... basically look up everything before I use it, especially in the online context, to make sure I'm using it right and not embarrassing myself. For instance, a word a rarely use, a punctuation (*cough* — *cough* ; *cough*), a term/phrase/idiom/word pronunciation/company/song/lyrics (like when I'm posting lyrics or a quote, I make sure I got it exactly right. No mondegreens, mandela effects, missed unimportant words, make sure it's the correct song/artist/movie, etc.!!) It's like when someone is trying to sound smart and then makes a fool of themselves. I don't wanna be that girl. Edit: oh, another thing relating to my previous post (or posts? How many did I make?) is when I realize that something I do that seems natural and "normal"/neurotypical is actually... not and is ND. Then sigh. I wonder if people see me as a weirdo... Edit2: Wait a second. Does everyone not do this: have the expected/"rational"/"correct"/"obvious"/"stereotypical/cliched" response to everything that's so painfully obvious to you that you think if you say it, you'll sound like you're just reading from the textbook? Like if someone asks how something made me feel (no, not just a therapist lol), I know exactly (or think I do) what they "want" me to say, but idek if that's true to me or not. I know what my automatic response should be, but will they notice it's fake? Like if someone says "oh, what symptoms of ADHD do you have" and I say "yeah, I procrastinate and fidget blah blah" and they're like "yep, that's ADHD for ya" and I'm like .. idk maybe that wasn't the best example but it's kinda similar. Also, I'll mention that I literally just looked up ADHD masking to see what I relate to, and scripted actions was one of them, so yada yada. I've still felt/noticed it, and sometimes even literally said like "I know my response should be X, but idk tbh", which is that kinda unmasking? Also I usually struggle with a response, and am indecisive in general. This (scripting or whatever) is probably part of that issue, because I gotta decide between/craft a response that represents all of: what sounds normal or expected and what I actually feel. I usually end up with something cliche but a lot of the time I actually just end up with lame responses like "good," "fine," "better," "a bit anxious," "sure," "I guess," "I don't know," "probably," oh yeah another thought popped up that is I basically say sure/probably/idk/iguess a lot, but for probably, I've been using it to... describe how I felt/thought? Like "yeah, I was probably a bit sad." Or, "yeah, I probably was thinking that." "Yeah, I probably didn't want to." Idk if that makes sense or is representative of what I'm trying to say, but yeah..

I like that English is weird If we just used, like, IPA, then where's the fun? For instance, I love French (including french -> english loanwords and whatnot) with all it's "et" = "ay" and stuff. So fun to pronounce (and probably butcher). Hopefully that's right.. Anyway yeah. Letters are kewl ðo (tho/though). Yeah.

Ah okay, thanks. Now I'm basically like "wait. It's okay that I'm masking less?" Is it? I don't wanna be seen as weird or ND though. I mean... I've never seen things like fidgeting as "bad" except sometimes when I'm doing it and then notice it probably looks weird and causes secondhand embarrassment or something and then I stop or lessen or whatever. ... that last line is sarcastic, right? I never really noticed it, but I probably did it a lot. But now I've been noticing that I literally am thinking like "that would be/is an ADHD/ND thing to say... but I just don't care and like I'm tired I'll just say/do it." Tbh I can't give many specific examples, but kinda just stuff... like I know it probably sounds very neurodivergent-ey but why bother filtering it and coming up with a different/"better" thing to say I just don't want to I'm mentally tired. Yeah. I guess it's good to know masking isn't necessarily a good thing.

glad I could help, I think.

Wow thank you :3 Hopefully .. cry in a good way?