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Akimikoisthecutest

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Everything posted by Akimikoisthecutest

  1. Akimikoisthecutest
    Hi everyone! It's that time of the week again! I'm @Akimikoisthecutest for those who don't know me, and I started this blog to talk about some of the troubles of being trans. This week we're talking about who I really am, versus how I act around others My presentation isn't a choice; it's a shield. When I walk out the door, I often feel like I’m stepping onto a stage. There’s a specific way I’m supposed to walk, a certain pitch to my voice, and a way I have to react to things to keep people from looking too closely. This is what many of us call gender performance—or more accurately, survival. It’s the art of being "palatable." For some, it’s about physical safety; for others, it’s the mental safety of avoiding a thousand tiny questions or the sting of being misgendered. But here’s the thing about wearing a mask: eventually, your face starts to ache underneath it. There is a specific kind of magic that happens the moment I’m alone. The "performance" ends. I can let my shoulders drop. I can look in the mirror and see @Akimikoisthecutest without the filter of "What will my boss think?" or "Is this neighbor going to be weird?" When no one is watching, identity isn't a debate or a struggle—it’s just a state of being. It’s in the quiet moments: The way I feel in my favorite clothes that I’m not brave enough to go out with my nails painted. The hobbies I pursue that don't fit the box people put me in. The way I talk to myself when there’s no one around to correct me. Living two lives—the public performance and the private reality—comes with a high tax. It’s called minority stress, and it’s a real phenomenon documented by organizations like The Trevor Project. When the person you are on the inside doesn't match the person the world sees, it creates a friction that burns through your energy. I never have enough energy to do all of the things that I want in a single day. So, how do we start narrowing the gap? This week, I’ve been focusing on "micro-authenticity." It’s about taking one tiny thing from my private, real self and bringing it into the light. Maybe it’s a piece of jewelry, a different way of styling my hair, or just being more honest when someone asks how I’m really doing. Transitioning isn’t just about medical or legal changes; it’s about the slow, beautiful process of unlearning the performance. It’s about realizing that you deserve to be the person you are when no one is watching, even when everyone is. -@Akimikoisthecutest
  2. Akimikoisthecutest
    Anyways to get back on track, @ThatOneWorldhopper, explain yourself. You still haven't said anything on the matter of Jo's accusation.
  3. Akimikoisthecutest
    Current VC (I think) Drake: (2) — Archer, Coco Wahr: (3) — Archer, Mippo, Doc TOW: (2) — Jo, Penguin Stick: (1) — Wahr Mistfallen: (1) — TOW Penguin: (1) — Mistfallen Archer: (1) — Honors Ghost Better?
  4. Akimikoisthecutest
    TOW, glad you're here, but that's a pretty fluffy entry for someone with two votes on them. You're voting Mistfallen for a joke reason while Drake is sitting at 3 votes and Wahr is hiding on a Stick vote. Do you actually have a read on the game, or are you just trying to deflect the pressure from Jo and Penguin?
  5. Akimikoisthecutest
    Idk, I don't really have anything all that amazing to say in my defense as nothing has really happened yet, but I'm going to go to bed now.
  6. Akimikoisthecutest
    I like this
  7. Akimikoisthecutest
    I got you
  8. Akimikoisthecutest
    That's why it's called a clarification
  9. Akimikoisthecutest
    Ok, btw I probably won't really be online until morning...
  10. Akimikoisthecutest
    This is a lie
  11. Akimikoisthecutest
    Yeah I want to tell them, but I'm just not sure how... I think I might be there. It's just hard to be ready to put basically your biggest secret out there for the world. And the hard thing for me is that I don't like to be in the spotlight. I can act like I do (I think I'm a pretty good actor), but I'm actually pretty shy. I avoid difficult conversations where I can, and generally I'm a coward
  12. Akimikoisthecutest
    Yeah but what would I even say? How would I do it? I don't even know if I'm ready...
  13. Akimikoisthecutest
    I feel like I need to set a deadline otherwise I'm just going to keep procrastinating and it will never happen...
  14. Akimikoisthecutest
    Aww that's sad. I think that I'm going to tell my parents that my friends forced me into getting my nails painted next time. Idk tho. I only have 59 days left to come out to them though...
  15. Akimikoisthecutest
    I loved them so much! I did them alternating purple and aqua, but I had to take them off this morning so my parents didn't find out. I just got back from my friends house where we walked a mile and a half uphill to the top of the neighborhood. The elevation change was over 300 feet. It was a bad idea, but it was fun. They also wanted to paint my nails but I was scared to let my parents find out.
  16. Akimikoisthecutest
    I painted my nails last night!
  17. Akimikoisthecutest
    TAKE LUCK (Brian Regan Reference?) Tell us how it goes... Yes I feel that
  18. Akimikoisthecutest
    Kill Zellion, Kiss Ado, Marry Nomad Kelsier, Adolin, Sazed
  19. Akimikoisthecutest
    I came out to a few friends and maybe my aunt. I'm working my way up to my parents. I've decided that the latest possible date I can come out to them is March 31st
  20. Akimikoisthecutest
    @SpartanBrigade @Keke @Ink and Embers @KnightSkye Reforged @Kansas Stormcursed @everyone else I forgot Return to this thread
  21. Akimikoisthecutest
    Oh that's just lovely. I don't think really anyone knows that I'm trans irl except for maybe my most perceptive friends... I mention the trans community a lot...
  22. Akimikoisthecutest
    Why?
  23. Akimikoisthecutest
    Oh I wasn't asking for your age. I'm 99% percent sure that you're older than me
  24. Akimikoisthecutest
    ???
  25. Akimikoisthecutest
    How long do you think I've been alive for?
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