Maya: I don't dab. I stab.
Hoid: Sorry I can’t be emotionally vulnerable with you it’d ruin the mystery.
Kaladin: I told Bridge 4 to grab snacks for everyone.
Navani, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks?
*Kaladin, Bridge 4, and Pattern raise their hands*
Jasnah: Look guys, I need help.
Kaladin: Love help?
Adolin: Financial help?
Syl: Emotional help?
Shallan: Help moving a body?
*Everybody looks at Shallan*
Shallan: What?
*Adolin comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Shallan's bedroom.*
Shallan: Babe, are you.. coming to bed?
Adolin: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a girlfriend.
Adolin: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep*
Shallan: ...
*Dalinar teaching Shallan to drive and taking Adolin along for the ride*
Dalinar: That's a pothole. To the left!
Shallan: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole*
Adolin, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth.
Shallan: I don't think that's how the song goes.
Dalinar, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home.
Shallan: Country Roads.
Adolin: To the place.
Shallan and Adolin in unison: I Belong!
Dalinar, crying harder: What the storm?
Lopen: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game...
Kaladin, nodding: Knife Monopoly.
Lopen: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.
Adolin: What's the most illegal thing you can do with one dollar?
Teft: Exchange it for a hundred pennies, put them all in a sock, and then beat someone to death with it.
Kaladin, pointing to the wall: What color is this?
Rlain: Gray.
Renarin: Grey.
Kaladin, turning to Lopen: Now tell them what color you think it is.
Lopen: Dark white.
Adolin: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, that’s stormed up. Like c'mon, you know I’m dumb as hell!
Adolin, on a random band name generator: Oooo! They Might Be Depressed Horses! That about sums up my friend group.