Silk

Love the opening line. “‘-‘ The boys aren’t looking at me” – not quite sure what’s happening here. Is this dialogue? A sound? Is it indicating that the character is trying to speak but can’t? “The animals midnight sheen” should be “animal’s” Overall, I enjoyed the line-by-line writing in here. I didn’t always feel the sense of urgency from the narrating character that I would expect. I also wasn’t quite sure how to interpret the ending – whether it was an actual magical intercession by the cat or the character throwing is voice. Partially I think I was thrown by the original description of the MC’s aggressors as “gorillas,” which I wasn't sure how literally I should take (I read the story itself a couple days after reading your introduction noting it wasn't fantasy) and the way the MC keeps looking to the cat for help. (This is another area where increasing the sense of urgency might help; I was fairly sure early on that the MC wasn’t actually expecting the cat to intercede, but if we see more of the character’s desperation that might drive it home a little more.) There’s also the description of the cat apparently reacting to what’s going on: the “pleasurable purr” description in particular, in this context, seems to give it an agency that it probably doesn’t actually have. You could probably replace this with some more disaffected/bored cat behaviour that is more plausible for readers, but doesn’t spoil the illusion that the characters are experiencing of a cat talking to them. I’ll echo the comments of the others that I’m not sure what the fault(s) at play is, and I’d be interested to hear what you’re actually working with to help give more specific suggestions.

So we have @Robinski and @Turin Turambar for the 9th. Any other takers?

Just before I get to the critique itself, I do want to briefly address the forum’s code of conduct since it came up in the discussion. Many of us who are on the forum have developed a relatively encouraging style of critique, but at the end of the day, we’re a critique group, and we rely on the ability to be honest with each other to function as intended. Different people are going to have different opinions on any different story or react more or less strongly to it, but they’re not more or less correct for doing so or expressing that. Comments that focus on how plotlines, characters, worldbuilding, etc. work or don’t work in a submission—which is what this thread has done—aren’t against the code of conduct, even if they’re bluntly phrased. That said, we do have a pretty varied group on here, and different people have different needs when it comes to critiques. Some of us are perfectly happy with the “warts and all” approach, but for others critiques actually aren’t as effective without hearing what worked as well as what didn’t. Nobody is expected to walk back the content of a critique that is focused on improving the story in question, but I do encourage everyone to consider their delivery as well as their points, especially when getting to know the style of the submitter. Leaving aside individual preferences, I do want the forum to continue to be a place for newer writers to learn and grow as well and I think keeping this in mind helps us do that. I don’t want to derail the thread so I’m getting back to comments now, and ask everyone else do the same. Anyone who wants to talk things through further is welcome to message me directly, as always. --- Comments! As I go: I did not realize from the description last chapter that the centipede was this big. The description of the underground room works fairly well, with a couple of specific tripping points: “Everburning lanterns” feels very D&D. Fine if that’s what you’re going for, of course. “...each with a white sheet over it, and humanoid forms under it” - under the table or the sheet? “...not the smell of a foul odor” - I had trouble with this immediately after “stank horribly.” They seem to contradict each other. The next sentence sort of clears it up but it still threw me. I also wondered about the eye that seemed untouched by the scar. Seeing the comments above, perhaps the solution is for Z to wonder how the eye itself seems unscathed – that will probably clue readers in enough to make the foreshadowing clearer. N recognizes P’s description, but given the small-town description I’m surprised she doesn’t know him. Especially if the place is still small enough to recognize his description. P2 “escort you hear” should be “Here.” p3 “whether or not the statures of...” Probably meant “statutes” here? T’s “tar and almonds” remark seems to come out of nowhere. It’s way less literal than most of his dialogue. On the one hand, this debate between Z and N is probably the strongest hint of what motivates Z that we’ve seen so far, but it seems a bit abrupt: he goes from almost blandly unassuming to zealous. We have a little bit of preparation for that from the last sub, but not much. P is also hard to get a handle on during this scene. For example: The bit around T being able to detect lies that the speaker knows are lies seems perfectly reasonable, even if it’s a little surprising to see P and not Z be the one to make this deduction and use it against N this way. Still, though, “harm of any kind” doesn’t feel like quite enough to justify his sudden resolve to arrest N, especially since that resolve seemed to be totally lacking at earlier points in the scene. Same is true of his earlier comments around S: “He’s so horrible that you must be worse” doesn’t seem like enough to change someone’s mind so completely. His personality also seems to get a sudden makeover once the fight begins: He’s suddenly confident to the point of arrogance as well as cruel. The debate also seems to go on for quite a while. I’m surprised N doesn’t try to kick them out a lot sooner. Z, thinking about T remaining calm, seems to want the situation not to devolve, but then escalates further himself by threatening N (even if his threat isn’t terribly convincing). Given that N at no point seems convinced that Z and P pose a threat, physical or legal, I was surprised when N suddenly threatened to kill them. I think we need a more overt threat to get us to this point. P10: “N rapidly found herself pressed back into the corner...” What is she actually doing while P chases her and stabs at her? She can apparently grow poisoned talons, so she’s not defenseless, but she doesn’t seem to be putting up much of a fight. “Did she get me?” Get him with what? He’s just stabbed her. Z seems to understand the import of whatever’s happening P but I don’t, or see what prompted it. A few lines later, I think I understand – it seems to be related to T projecting particularly strong emotions – but I suspect there’s probably an opportunity somewhere in these lines to clue the reader into the fact that something new is happening. My first assumption was that I had missed something. Z and P seem to linger a long time over potions etc. despite not knowing where N is. I get that that their choices are limited, but I’m not feeling the urgency in this interlude. Oh, “projecting emotions” thing was a result of N manipulating T? I’d thought it was something that T couldn’t control that affected everyone, not something that N controlled him into doing. “In conclusion… Your pet is weird.” lol. Overall: I agree that the S..ker faith seems like a stand-in for Christian theology at this point. We’re so saturated with other examples of monotheistic religions being Christian stand-ins in fantasy that in the absence of other information a lot of readers are probably going to make this assumption. Having Z quote psalms throughout is a perfectly viable way to foreshadow his religious zealotry (for readers who recognize the psalms, that is; not all of them will) but it’s definitely going to emphasize the association between the S..ker religion and Christianity specifically. I’m very much on the same page with the others about the things that aren’t working yet. I think @industrialistDragon has hit the nail on the head with the comment that it’s not quite clear what the focus of the story is yet: an adventure story, an investigation story, or an exploration into themes of faith. These things can definitely all exist together, it’s just not clear how they’re supposed to do that yet. I’m getting both from your comments and the story that the theme of faith is a really important element. What I don’t understand yet is what the story thinks of that theme. Is it critiquing some aspect of Z’s faith and making him a sympathetic villain? Is it showing that he’s a hero who’s flawed but basically in the right? Is it trying to get us to a grey area where we’re asking questions about faith and how it works, and if so, what questions do you want us to be asking? Etc. These aren’t questions that need to be answered here in the thread, but I think you can look for ways to start answering them (or asking them) in the story itself. Once you have that foundation you can start bringing the different aspects of the story together more clearly.

FYI: Aqueduct Press is now open for submissions, and if anyone can see how long they're actually open for, your eyes are better than mine. Also not sure off the top of my head if they're a pro market, but hey.

It's been fairly quiet around here (not uncommon in November/December) but with our official sub date of Monday at this point I'd request/recommend that you sign up for next week's submissions. A few members have been pointed out that it's difficult to get to subs that are sent late, so this makes things easier for critiquing and means your submission is less likely to get lost in the shuffle. So, shall I sign you up for Dec 9?

Well I suppose. (Slots permitting... but I suspect they will be.)

@aeromancer sounds good. Any other takers for this week? @Robinski?

Happy 10-year anniversary of RE!

As I read: Q’s been shot. Wouldn’t those gentle yoga stretches hurt kind of a lot? P2: I’m already entirely confident that ID’s and my tinfoil hat theories have been confirmed. And I have the feeling that M’s figured it out, too? Q, meanwhile, clearly remains completely oblivious, which I find both adorable and infuriating. That said… it’s also pretty reasonable. “Oh well, no matter. I laugh in the face of danger,” he tried to smile reassuringly. “No, you ... don’t,” M observed. “I’ve seen you in action.” Fantastic. Huh. E has a friend. I was not expecting that. In the description of E’s friend, “This one was shorter than him...” I had trouble parsing this particular sentence at first, and I think it’s because the antecedent is grammatically “him” as in whoever E’s friend is, when here it’s supposed to mean Q himself. “This place must be rife with mosquitos.” I’m assuming this means bugs of the technical variety, since clearly there aren’t actual mosquitos; but all things considered, why is E so sure that G would have extradited them all? I get that it’s Mor and TOM who are the real enemy here, but for as much of a bugbear as the MTs were made out to be, I was hoping they would—not necessarily put up more of a fight, but figure more into the arrival into YK. More of a fight, or an extended game of cat-and-mouse, or something. They’re literally the device that is being used to justify bringing in the National Guard and perpetuate electoral fraud; the actual creatures should, I think, be more of a factor. And yes, I realise there are probably more of them, so for all I know this is bait and switch and there’s a much bigger MT threat on the way. Still a bit disappointing to see two of them defeated so quickly. Nitpicky, but was also surprised to see the MTs in the town itself. We’d been given the impression previously that they were a little ways out. P8 “he did not feel like laughing” needs a period at the end. Just after that: “R said T is with his wife, Me at...” Should be a comma after Me’s name. All of this and Q says he owes Mor a bloody nose? Is that just stereotypical European restraint or do I need to grab Q by the collar and shake him a bit? Because I want this climax to result in rather more than a bloody nose. P9 “He’s totting a piece...” should be “toting.” Overall: I don’t really have much to add. It would be nice to have some idea of who D is and how he ties into this whole mess. I think the chapter was good after all, and was going good places. I remain extremely anxious for them to get to R’s freaking house already, but at this point I think that might be sort of a cumulative effect of the Great Canadian Road Trip. Hmm, I didn't really have a problem with this - "shotguns for everyone" seems like a fairly reasonable response to the revelation that there are 150 genetically modified beasties running around the city--but I can see why you would have. The actual goal is clear, they're finally going to R's house, but is sort of lost in the noise of the MT attack and remaining dialogue. Maybe a reminder of where they're heading nearer the end with the chapter? Join the tinfoil hat club and the characterization makes a lot more sense! That, or I am shortly about to feel extremely betrayed by my own confirmation bias. Yeah, dialogue and character wise, there was a lot of good stuff in this chapter. This bit in particular I thought was a nice cap to M's outburst from the previous chapter. It's on the van, but I stumbled over this a bit too. Since they don't attack humans, I was likewise unclear why they needed to be chased off. Hmm, I don't know. That was a rather large part of what DM was holding over T in the beginning of the book, if memory serves. Although, yeah, DM doesn't count.

I had interpreted this as a choice Z was making, not a continuity error, but it's true that we don't get any sort of reaction from the alchemist or P to signal it as such. This is an excellent point. This is tricky, because if the characters don't notice it neither do we. "Godspeed" is a pretty common phrase in the real world, if becoming somewhat archaic, and we have no way of knowing that this is Z. outing himself. Same. This much actually worked for me. The way Z's dialogue was presented there, the implication was pretty clearly that they're forbidden from hating people, so therefore they don't--which might be true of Z himself, but he's speaking for all of his colleagues as if he believes it's just as true of all of them, which seems a lot more like idealism than anything that might actually be true. It's not necessarily a bad thing; as @Mandamon has mentioned Z does seem to be a somewhat innocent character just in general. Okay, so all this background is good, but definitely not coming through in the draft quite yet. Totally get your hesitance to just dump it in a paragraph and that's probably a good instinct, but I don't think you necessarily need to. For one thing, we don't need to get all of it at once; it can come in in dribs and drabs, and perhaps we don't need all of it, period. We just need enough to give us a sense of verisimilitude and to start building up the foreshadowing, as @Lightbringer has noted. Coming back to the showing-not-telling comments, you have a real opportunity in the introductory scenes to do some "showing" with two characters who are wandering around the woods and potentially fairly vulnerable to these kinds of threats. S is a competent fighter, but totally by himself; Z has a companion who's capable in combat, but isn't himself. Can one or both of them worry about the possibility of encountering such a creature in the woods? Is one known to be nearby (or maybe nobody's heard of one in an ominously long time)? Does Z feel relieved, maybe seemingly disproportionately so, when he gets into the town because at least it's civilization? The fact that the town, or its infrastructure, seem bigger than necessary for the number of people could possibly be made just a bit more of in the descriptions, to further signal to the reader that something's not as it seems here. You could potentially mention Refuges by name in one of these snippets, if you choose to add them, but maybe you don't need to; present the threat in the right way and reasonably genre-savvy readers can probably start making connections once the capital-R Refuge is dropped. Again, I think it's less important that the readers know or learn exactly what it is than they feel that they can start putting the pieces of the world together. For sure. And presumably, all the infrastructure would be in place; empty canals where sewage is intended to go but there's only dirt and dust instead, etc. Cool cool. I do think some hints of this earlier in the manuscript would still be very helpful. If readers don't feel Z's urgency they may not be willing to stick with him long enough to see his motivations revealed.

Comments! I'll have to come back and check the rest of the group's comments at a future point, so watch this space, I guess. As I read: “Ss are forbidden from hating people.” The fact that Z seems to take this at face value makes me think of him as fairly young and perhaps a little naïve. The comment about Z outing himself as a S… - do they have accents then? Are they tied to a particular language or ethnicity? “I’ll stay quiet, so long as you know what questions to ask.” But Z and P don’t actually have any conversation about the information they’re trying to get; as far as P knows, this is just a shopping trip. P10, “Z blinked, coming back to his sense” should be “senses.” I’m now back to wondering why S shared as much as he did with Z, and why Z is so interested in it. He’s been assigned to the mission now, but doesn’t seem to have anything else driving him, which is a bit thin for someone he briefly met over a fire. I like that T feeding on his emotions actually makes the emotion more prominent, rather than less which is what I would have expected. The paragraph does feel a little bit … Holmsian mind palace. I think there may be a scene transition missing between P’s dialogue on the bottom of page 10 and the start of the next page/paragraph. Why does the clocktower lead down into a sewer? That seems like an odd choice of architecture. It’d also be nice to have some more description of the place—I think that might help with transition in. Plus, sewers tend to be viscerally gross places; a solid description could really lend to the atmosphere. For the most part, this walk through the tunnels doesn’t feel particularly tense, but it feels like it could. “I think this city might be a refuge,” Z says, which clearly means something to P but doesn’t mean anything to us. Because it’s not something that’s come up before, it doesn’t really have an impact, even with the brief conversation that Z and P have about refuges—we just don’t understand enough about the world to know why this place is significant. P is now guiding them through the tunnels by navigating the markings—which would make sense if they had some specific destination, but I thought they were looking for N specifically. Presumably they don’t know where she is. “Allows is a strong word.” Hah. I do enjoy the T/Z dynamic. I’m having a bit of trouble envisioning the way the centipede is attacking P. Wouldn’t climbing up over its shield take far too long? In general, I think the fight scene works, but there are a few things that slow the momentum down for me, mostly having to do with where Z’s thoughts (and certain bits of dialogue) are placed. When Z stops to very deliberately take stock of the situation, for example, it feels very much like the centipede’s paused politely to wait while he figures out what’s what. I also wonder how P managed to walk up its back without Z noticing. “Save your sympathy for when its dead!” should be “it’s” Overall: The pacing of this section has improved, though I still suspect the writing could be tightened up when you’re ready to do another pass. The thing I most wanted to see in this section was a little more buildup—not in any extended sort of way, just a quick moment to lay the groundwork for some things before they actually happen. For example: The clocktower. The key leads there because the clocktower happens to be nearby, not because we have any insight into S’s character or what the clocktower means. In fact I don’t remember seeing a description of the clocktower before Z determined that that’s where the key lead. Another example would be the appearance of the rats and centipede; both of them up without being announced. Something like a “hey, did you hear that?” or even “I think the place is empty” could go a long way towards signalling to the reader that something’s about to happen. My over-arching comments from the last section are still true, which is that I don’t yet understand what’s at stake here, or what’s driving Z beyond the fact that he got this assignment from the guildmaster in the first section.

So far we have @Robinski and @aeromancer for Monday. Any other takers? In related news, I haven't managed to glean anything yet about why the list isn't working the way it should, despite the time I've thus far spent hanging around, so we'll see how well subs tomorrow work. Apologies while I (hopefully) get this worked out.

Ooh, very nice. I expect a full report of everywhere you're going! PORG PIE OMG

I laughed so hard at this. Hey @Robinski, you know you can just turn off autocorrect, right?

I bet. Still super jealous. I'd love to see where you guys go. I'm guessing you're starting in Auckland and working down to Wellington? Make sure you hit Roturua!

Awesome! I’m jealous. I desperately want to go back to New Zealand, but just the thought of taking another big trip so soon is exhausting. Sadly, I think I might give next year’s a miss.

All right. I'll look into it, but it's going to have to be this weekend. Sorry folks :/

@industrialistDragon @Eagle of the Forest Path @Robinski Thanks folks. I figured as much since I hadn't gotten any replies. Robinski, I'll be interested to see if your sub comes through okay this week. I'm really not terribly equipped to troubleshoot this thing as it's just automated through Google groups, so hang tight I guess. Also I think I'm inadvertently drowning Robinski's last post about cool Lego Star Wars stuff in practical nonsense. Everyone scroll up and look at cool Lego Star Wars stuff!

Very cool! Look forward to the completed pics, it seems you're getting close. On an unrelated topic: Has anyone received the test email that I sent out to the group list yesterday? I'm trying to wrap my head around the problems that @kais was experiencing with the list.

Please do. Any other takers? @aeromancer?

PM is recommended, since you'll have to share your email address.

As I read: Oh, so the helicopter is AI-piloted? I was really hoping that Q and M would get to talk to an actual person. M seems markedly unconcerned with the fact that Q has been shot. It seems hard to imagine that she just hasn’t notice, now that the chaos has mostly cleared. P4 “...located the found” should be “located the wound.” “‘Let’s do our homework.’ He must be delirious.” HAH. So the FBI is in the field, but the National Guard still isn’t? You know, with the situation as dire as it is, they could probably start threatening idiot citizens out to get the MTs with arrests for obstructing police investigation or whatnot. I get the impression that everyone knows strong words/sound advice aren’t working and haven’t been for some time. Flavour more than anything, but in addition to aforementioned idiot hunters, I wonder what kind of effect this has on the rest of the world? Riots etc? P6 “The image bucked wildly, doing Q’s centre of gravity...” Should probably be “sense of gravity”? P8 “...a million tonnes on lunar crater” should be “of.” Also p8 “he made a pause symbol in the air” - I’d suggest the rest of that sentence is probably unnecessary. We get the idea, and if he does that and then the news reel stops playing I think most readers will be able to infer that it was a kinetic command. So, M’s blowup. It was abrupt enough that it really set me back on my heels at first. I almost didn’t comment, because it’s certainly fair enough under the circumstances. It’s probably been coming for a while. But I think the reason it felt so abrupt is because Q and M squabble so constantly, and M is so abrasive in general, that it’s hard to tell the difference between “business as usual” and “cracking under pressure.” I think it could help to up the tension in previous chapters and make this moment more impactful if we see the cracks before we see the break, so to speak. Similarly, M’s point about Q trying to save people, well, women in particular. M’s not wrong, but it might be interesting to see it come up as a point of contention a little sooner. “I gather your sense of humour was not hit in the shootout.” Hah. Glad that Q and M have reconnected with E and the pacing of the last couple chapters has much improved, though I’m still anxious for everyone to just go find T already. That being said: we had a fake message from E earlier, I don’t think Q and M ever got the real one, and now they’re about to connect with E herself. Are there going to be any consequences from that missed message from earlier? Hm. I sort of agree with this, but I suspect I'm coming at it from a slightly different angle than @Mandamon here. Notwithstanding any reveals that may or may not be coming, this is one of a handful of times in recent chapters Q has started focusing on his son more, for reasons that mostly feel pretty thin on the ground. Early on, I think someone, somewhere does say that Q and J's son was turned over to TOM and/or Mor, and I think in one of the earlier road-trip chapters Q wonders if taking on TOM will get him closer to his son. In that chapter, however--sorry, I don't remember which exactly--it's presented as idle speculation, with Q seeming to think it's not very desireable or likely. Then, in one of the later roadtrip chapters, he's reflecting that maybe he wants to meet his son more than he thought, but he seems to have shifted from thinking that these events might lead him to his son, to thinking that they will, without either obtaining any evidence for that or talking himself into believing it. I hope that distinction makes sense--the short version is that @industrialistDragon has hit it on the head, I think, in saying that there needs to be more foundation in the text this. Personally, I do think there's enough there already that this is a relatively simple fix, just hanging a lantern in a couple of places. And, it could have an added benefit of increasing the impact if certain tinfoil-hat theories turn out to be true... Yeah, I don't think they have either. I suppose it's reasonable that they've had the chance to see it on the news by now, but I don't remember seeing it highlighted in the text. This is a good point. I have to admit, the reveal the Mystery Caller was actually pretending to be TOM on those calls didn't bug me as much as it seems to have ID and Mandamon. Certainly it seems like an easy enough way to manipulate Q. It's true I still have no idea why the caller might be doing this, but on a grand scale I think I'm inured to it because I still have no idea why Mor and particularly TOM are doing anything anyway. Yes, election fraud and all that good stuff, but at the end of the day I have no idea what TOM expects the actual benefits of that to be for ... his companies, which he seems fairly willing to tear apart? Himself specifically? Anyway, I'm pretty sure I've harped on that enough in an earlier crit somewhere, so I'll leave it at that for now.

As I read: I stumbled over the second sentence - it took a couple reads for me to realize you were talking about moons and moonlight. While I appreciate S has keen senses, some of the details mentioned (“expertly butchered,” strips of meat above the fire) seem like they would really only be available visually. P9, Z’s comment about “...winning an argument with that one.” With whom? The alchemist? It’s not clear what Z’s talking about here. P10, “Experience let him decipher what was meant [by the creature].” It’s already easy enough to understand the sentiment that I don’t think we need Z to explain it to us again. I think it’s fine that Z’s curious enough about S to try and find out what S running from while in the village, but I would also like an idea of why Z is heading there himself. Bottom of p12, “The back has a long bar...” should be “had.” “...he was also nice to S..kers.” I’ve been wondering about this. The story seems to be getting at the fact that this is an oppressed group, but the reactions of other characters don’t seem to suggest more than “mildly disliked, maybe,” and Z also seems to be awfully free with this information. “Or do you think you’re too good to help a senior guild member…” - Z has the second-lowest rank. The way it’s been described so far, this doesn’t seem like a remotely senior rank, except in comparison to P himself. Overall: The individual characters seem distinct enough and like potentially interesting people, though I don't have a good sense yet of Z or especially S's personality. I am particularly interested in T, though my interest there is in the worldbuilding as much as the character himself. I like the added wrinkle of P and Z having to work together. That said, I think the POV characters need more of a sense of urgency. This is particularly of Z, who was apparently already going to the village but we have no idea why. It doesn’t seem like whatever Z’s own goals are could have been particularly important, since those goals are never mentioned and the mystery of S—consisting of a man that Z has never met who says he’s leaving town and uh, that’s pretty much it—seems to be the only thing actually driving Z forward. S is a bit more compelling this way in that we know he has a reason to leave, but while it’s fine that we don’t know the reason he’s leaving, we also don’t have any sense of the stakes. Is there anything actually stopping him from leaving or has he just decided he’s done? He’s a POV, so he’s presumably important enough that he’ll be appearing again, but he doesn’t seem to be moving towards a particular objective either. The lack of urgency/sense of stakes contributes to my biggest concern here, which is that the story seems to be taking quite a bit of time to get where it’s going. We still haven’t really progressed beyond the relatively mild hook of “What’s the deal with S, anyway?” Partially this can be addressed by looking at the line-by-writing, which I think can be tightened up a fair bit in later passes. But mostly I think readers need a better sense of the stakes/urgency. Once that’s more in evidence, it will be easier to scrutinize individual scenes to make sure the scenes are moving things forward. At the moment I feel like some of these scenes or parts of them could almost certainly go, but without a better sense of stakes and story it's hard to say which ones. Agreed. They came up a few times and while it's nice to have a bit of extra worldbuilding, I really didn't understand why they mattered, either in the context of the story or the context of the world. This description does suggest that Z is pretty young. Yep, the original line definitely reads like Z doesn't drink at all. I'm actually surprised that Robinski's the only person who's commented on this so far! Point seconded. Concur, if this was somehow T's doing (though I don't know why T would be doing it) I think you could hang a bit more of a lantern on in the paragraph from S's POV that Robinski mentioned. Yeah, I wondered about this. Z seems to be assuming some sort of malice somewhere behind S's story, but I'm not convinced he has enough information to make that assumption. I'm not even sure readers have enough information to make that assumption, except for maybe the little tidbit about R not liking the alchemist. I thought this made sense. I was assuming P was either envious of Z's rank, or of T tagging along. This made sense to me, the "my kind" Z was referring to would be the "S...kers." As for the issues with the group mailing list, @kais I tried removing and re-adding you earlier today. Also took @aeromancer's suggestion of sending out a test email earlier today. Although I didn't the thing up to begin with, so my rather limited knowledge makes it hard to troubleshoot. @GoWibble I think perhaps you're new to the group, and that I don't actually have you on our mailing list? If I'm mistaken then I sincerely apologize, but I don't see anything in my private message conversation between the two of us. If you're coming over from the Creative Corner forum, RE works a bit differently - we submit via a mailing list rather than posting submissions directly to the forum, in order to help protect people's IP. That said, it's an open door group if you would like to participate.

Hmm, I'm not sure, but I'll take a look and see what I can find. :/ @aeromancer I'll respond to your actual sub sometime this week!

There seems to be a lot of "probably Monday!" going around this week! @aeromancer, welcome back, it's been fairly quite so I'd say you're good to submit. @Robinski too, of course.