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I want to thank everyone that has been here for me the last few days. I’ve been having a really rough time, and you have all helped me feel so much better. I can’t explain it, but you all make me feel like I’m wanted and that I am accepted, those are two feelings that I don’t feel often but it’s really nice. You all are like family to me, and understand me better than my own family does. So thank you all.
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I feel like I was given a set of choices with no good outcomes. I have become a better person because of the choices I made, but in the process I have hurt someone a great deal. If I had stayed away from them, I’m not sure what would have happened. I would not be who I am, and I’d be in a much worse place mentally and emotionally. And I believe they would be too. The time we had together was amazing, but I felt the need to end it. I was obsessing over this one person, and they were doing the same over me. It was unhealthy and I felt its effects wearing on me, so I prayed about it to know what to do. In the end, I felt that I was to end it. So I did. It hurt me, but I know it hurt them so much more. So no matter the outcome, I’d still be feeling awful.
Thank you for listening to another of my late-night rants. I needed to get this off my chest and once again, you all are the only people I trust to listen and give support rather than judgement.
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Why did Dragonsteel have to end? I’m was so happy…not anymore though. The worst thing is, I’m not really sure what to do to make myself feel happier. I just feel so terrible, but I also know what I think about myself is right. So here I am, typing this late at night when most people are unlikely to see it until the morning, hoping that it will somehow help.
Any advice?
SpoilerSorry everyone, I shouldn’t be bothering you all with this. I just don’t know where else to turn to.
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I…did the exact same thing, don’t know if you saw my SU’s but I’m right there with you. Panda describes it well.
It’s the feeling of having something that makes you feel alive, something that makes you feel wanted, needed, powerful even, just be ripped away from you. It can never come back quite the same way, and now it’s done. It’s gone. And storm it, it hurts.
From a bigger perspective, it’s okay to hurt. The hurt will end, the hurt means that it was really that amazing. But also…that’s not going to help, because it won’t make it stop hurting, it won’t make the rest of life get better.
I’m here though, okay? I know the pain and it’s awful. I’m always here to listen and care, even if that’s all I can do. *hugs*
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