Wittles

Just a wrod of advice: ADHD medication + Eneryg drink + plus forgetting to food = ALKJSDGKOAJSHFIWEJF

It's lkie AHDHD distraction hyperness parts but very super much

I feel the jitttteerrrrrsssssss

But I did get smoe assingments that were stressing me uot turned in today, so yay!  

I did a lot of stuff last nihgt and it feles nice

"I wanted to be a better brother, better son, wanted to be a better adversary to the evils I have done" -Polarize

"Seems like all I'm worth is what I'm able to withstand" -Choker

"I'll stay awake, 'Cause the dark's not taking prisoners tonight" -Ode to Sleep

Twenty-one pilots lyrics just hit different. 

My head hurts

So I think I have found my new favorite movie ever and I just absolutely love it and can't get it out of my head. The movie is Arrival, and if you haven't seen it, please do. It's a first contact story, but told through the eyes of a linguist sent to communicate with the aliens, and the aliens are so cool visually and conceptually. The themes and ideas were so complex, and the director was able to get them across flawlessly. (It's the same guy who directed Dune) I don't want to really say anymore because it's better if you go in completely blind, but it's a spectacular movie that has so many cool ideas about language. It also manages to be incredibly emotional, and I haven't gotten so immersed in a movie in so long. Please watch it if you like sci-fi movies that make you think a bit. That's all I can really say without spoilers(I know I said that before, but this time for real). So there's some thoughts. Do with them as you will

Technically a poem; by Wittles

And now, a rant.

So I don't really hate people. I see that people are trying, and I like to say I see the good in people. I try to be nice to everyone, and I hope I come across that way. I don't like people sometimes, sure, but I don't hate them. There are about 2 people I actively hate, for multiple reasons that are most likely incredibly selfish. One of them is a kid I know from when I used to do gymnastics. He's really good at it, and I was just starting, but I got injured really quickly and couldn't really do sports any more(still can't), and this kid was just a total jerk. He would constantly make fun of my lack of basic and essential skills that my coach apparently thought I had. (That's probably because I had done some previous recreational classes and things before joining the competitive team), so while I was at the beginning and being forced forward far beyond my skill level to practice with this kid. It kinda made me WAAAAAYYYY more self conscious and anxious than I already was. It's only gotten worse in the two or so years since. I probably shouldn't be blaming him for that, but it's hard not to when I look back trying to figure out what caused a lot of my self esteem issues and it's to those moments I remember most clearly. 

Anyway, I thought I wouldn't have to interact with him again after I nearly broke my back and quit gymnastics. Then sophomore year comes around, and he's at my school now. (He is a year younger than me which just makes this probably super petty. But to be fair, he has the confidence/arrogance/volume of someone much older, so I think it evens out). So he's going to my school now, he's a year below me, so I hardly have to even see him. Too bad he's also really smart. Now this year, it turns out the one kid I genuinely hate, sits three feet behind me in math. And he freaking YELLS THE ANSWERS THE ENTIRE CLASS PERIOD. I kid you not, the teacher will put a practice problem on the board and two seconds later he's yelling "I HAVE THE ANSWER!! I'M SO SMART!! I'M THE BEST!!" or something similar. I swear my anxiety's gotten worse just in the month I've been back to school JUST from that class. I'm almost ready to provoke a fight just so he can get in trouble. I am so freaking tired of him and I would genuinely like him to be completely out of my life.

This all feels really petty, and I am most likely being really self absorbed about all this and according to my dad I don't really have a reason to hate him, so why should I be so annoyed and angry at him? It's hard to talk to my dad.

Feel free to say I'm just being a whiny little brat complaining about some obnoxious kid. I just really needed to get some of this out.

So my favorite webcomic, Lackadaisy had a kickstarter thing for the first season of an animated series because of the success of the pilot episode that came out earlier this year. Anyway, the goal was overshot by a lot, so it looks like a season 1 of the show! Sadly it ended like 2 weeks ago, so I can't get any cool stuff from it. But itll probably be available sometime later. 

Anyways, random rant about that over, school sucks

I've been feeling awful and barely been able to get up multiple days in the past week, and now I have to go to school, hooray!(albeit like an hour late, but hey, at least I'm doing something I guess.) Of course, there's nothing like the added pressure to just "try harder" and "do better" from my dad. 

I think I might be overusing sarcasm to the point where it obfuscates what I'm actually trying to say. Oh well.