Immortal Platypus

the shard wouldn't let me report this bot's post, so I'm here now

that's 2!

ha! got one!

Session 0 & 1 updates! I will now reveal why I said I was a large lad, a big fellow, a massive man, perhaps even a gargantuan guy. I am playing... a half-orc, half-giant. He is about 20 feet tall, and is as dumb as they come. But he is incredibly strong. On to the updates.

Session 0:

We drew up the character sheet for A (one player), and came up with a character for @Edema Rue. I'll let her tell you about her character. (Some of the stuff won't make too much sense until she explains.) We didn't do much besides this.

Session 1:

A and J are both bounty hunters. They are met in an alley by a dragon born who tells them to capture (alive) a man in the forest. When pressed about him, it is revealed that he is very big. 

Cut to me. I am sitting, leaning on a tree. On the other side of the tree is Eddie. Neither of us is aware of the other, but she is drawn to my attention for some reason (I forgot). I don't see her at first, and pull the tree out of the ground to try to find who is talking to me. When I see her, I pick her up and throw her in my backpack. I hear footsteps of my pursuers (I used to be a slave on a pirate ship, and they want me back) and start running, with Eddie in the bag.

Cut to A and J. They are now tracking the man, and follow the steps when they see a giant man barreling towards them. Naturally, they assume that this is the man they're hunting, and A shoots Him with a bonus from J's bardic inspiration.

That man was me. I take 13 damage (which would be enough to kill any of the other party members), fall over, and enter a rage (I'm playing a Barb). Eddie takes fall damage and runs out of my backpack. 6 bounty hunters arrive. They were the ones chasing me. I get up, and uproot a tree, which I will use as a weapon. Combat initiates.

Initiative order: Bounty hunters, A and J, Me, Eddie

Bounty hunters attack. 5 of them shoot guns at me (they were hired to kill, not capture). One penetrates my AC and does 14 damage. Thankfully, because of my rage, it does half damage. I am now at 1 health. The sixth guy charges in. I'm terrified, thinking, "I'm gonna have to redo an entire character and I like this guy."  But I use my reaction to hit the guy with my tree as he gets in range. It does 23 damage and kills him.

A and J's turn. They ride some elk (recently tamed through Animal Friendship) around to get to the back of the bounty hunters. A attacks, but misses.

My turn. I run forward, and hit the front group of three bounty hunters with my tree. I do 23 damage again, and kill 2, knocking the third unconscious. My pet wolf attacks a different bounty hunter, knocking it unconscious. 

Eddie's turn. She uses a spell to wrap me in vines, trying to immobilize me. I succeed my strength check and break them.

Hunter's turn. One is left that is alive and conscious. He chooses to shoot my wolf. He rolls a 1 and the gun explodes in his hands, doing 6 damage.

A and J's turn. J sneaks behind him and knocks him unconscious with the butt of his spear. Then they get back on the elk and start running away. A shoots the ground beneath my feet with an explosive bullet. The bullet knocks me off my feet and I would take 1 damage. However, due to my rage halving the damage, and always rounding down in DND, I take 0 damage.

My turn. I get up and chase after them, dropping the tree and picking up two rocks. I throw them at A and J respectively. Both miss.

A and J's turn. They continue running. I forgot if A attacked, but if he did, it didn't work.

My turn. Last turn of rage. I won't be able to keep up with them if I run out of rage. I chase them, pick up two rocks and throw them at A and J. The rock thrown at J misses. The rock thrown at A gets a 20. I do 3d6 (1d6 x2 because of the crit, and I add a damage die due to half orc trait Brutal Critical). He takes 7 damage, and is knocked unconscious. Rage ends, and I fall over. I succeed my Con saving throw to avoid falling unconscious. My vengeance for the bullet has been achieved and I am willing to stop chasing them.

A and J's turn. J pushes the rock off of A and picks him up. They run away and find a cave. Combat ends.

I follow them, using a tree I just uprooted as a crutch. Eddie also comes. They go into the cave they find. I lie down outside the cave and take a short rest, eating and using a hit die to regain full health. J starts to set up a camp, but the ground beneath both A and Eddie sinks, and they get trapped down a hole, in a cage. They begin adventuring down there after A shoots the lock off the door. 

Above them, J notices 16 goblins come up from deeper down the cave. I stick my head in, then pull it out, put my backpack on my hand, and punch 7 of the goblins at once, doing 12 damage and killing all of them. 

A and Eddie find a Beholder in a cell. Eventually they release it and it floats them back up to the surface. They all exit the cave (including J) and I collapse the entrance. We walk back to a town.

A is a demon and burns a tree branch, using the ash to regain health. J visits the man who hired them, getting the 5 gold they were promised to capture me. The people giving the hirer the money didn't specify what to do after I was captured, so they got the money and a second mission. For this one, they were told to meet a person in the woods.

Eddie and I come with them this time. We meet a dragonborn who is the vice-mayor of the town. He tells us the mayor is corrupt, and he offers us 16 gold to get him to leave the town. We agree, and start forming a plan (and by that I mean, J starts forming a plan and the rest of us listen.)

And that's where we left off! I'm excited to go back and do more. I really enjoy this character. I'll keep ya'll updated. Eddie, if there's anything I missed, feel free to point it out.