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The Aspiring Archivist

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The Aspiring Archivist last won the day on December 20 2023

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  • Member Title
    drowning in a sea of the infinitely knowable
  • Pronouns
    any pronouns
  • Location
    Somewhere, disappearing.
  • Interests
    Reading,
    Minecraft,
    Portal,
    Portal 2,
    Other Puzzle Games,
    Other Games,
    Stealing Ideas,
    Releasing my New Book called The Hobbit,
    Ookla,
    Trivia,
    Math,
    Science,
    Writing,
    Writing Really Long Run-On Sentences That Are Hard to Read and Harder To Write and Hurt My Soul a Little Bit Every Time I Realize that I'm Writing One and Use Too Many Prepositions and Probably Has a Grammatical Error Somewhere or Have Passive Voice Misused Somewhere,
    The Cosmere,
    Déjà vu,
    Eating,
    Not Sleeping,
    Listening to Audiobooks,
    Using Really Super Cool Adverbs,
    Youtube,
    Talking,
    Spending Time with Friends & Family,
    Déjà vu,
    Coding,
    Not Being Dead,
    Mispeling,
    Reading Out Loud,
    Singing in Private,
    Writing Lists,
    Completing Things,
    [Insert more here]

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  1. The Aspiring Archivist

    Here's a little update for fun.

    After becoming anxious and depressed to the point of non function in early November, I've now been away from school for significantly over a month.

    I went to a residential for a little while, but it made a feelings worse. Supposedly that was semi-intentional for therapy reasons, but long story short it wasn't for me, and I got myself pulled out early against medical advice.

    I then went to and am currently still in a PHP, which involves being in a place from 9 to 5, Mondays through Fridays. Within each day are 6 different hour-long groups with therapy stuff and psychoeducation. Plus some individual therapy and family stuff.

    It's just not working. Nothing helps, barely anything makes sense. I'm doing better overall, because I'm away from school and getting some social interaction, but most of those 40 hours a week are wasted time. I've looked into my thoughts and emotions a lot, and it just doesn't seem that I operate in a way that is typical and works with their frameworks. My brother thinks I probably have autism (he does himself, and I've talked to him about it), but that's not something I can really learn about or look into there. It's exhausting.

    On top of all that, not one friend from school has contacted me for the over a month I've been gone. Seems I'm not very important to many people I've known for years, which I guess isn't too surprising.

    So yeah. Not too great right now. But for better or for worse, once I'm out of treatment I have the rest of the school year free.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. The Aspiring Archivist

      The Aspiring Archivist

      I'm kind of alright. Most of my days are enjoyable in some ways. Conversations are good, social interaction is nice. But at the same time, I'm completely stuck and don't feel like I'm doing anything worthwhile. Plus, just exhausted.

    3. Edema Rue

      Edema Rue

      *big hugs*

      I wish I could help more. But I'm here, and I care. Even if that's all I can do. It's okay to be stuck sometimes. It won't last forever.

    4. Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      *hugs*

      I get that, feeling like you're not doing anything worthwhile and that you're stuck. I've felt the same and feel it a little bit. I think the best thing to do is try to reach out to other people and not wait for them to do it. It's the next step I'm going to be taking tomorrow. We can get through all of this!

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