Bird Furious

Happy new year!

I went to a church dance and elected to devote the evening to scientific findings on the species of Homo Sapiens, or humans, as opposed to my own species and subspecies—evil author. I shall copy my notes here. Some few of them are about individual members of the species, but more muse on behaviors of the animals as a whole.

• In the light, the dark-haired girls look like redheads. Very redheads.
• There is an irritating gaggle of people blocking my vantage. 
• When a human is cut off from its pack, or has nobody to speak with, it must distract itself at all costs—a phone will do, or food, or a notebook (I do not stoop to such. My writing it scientific findings, not a distraction. Let us be very clear on that point). 
• There is a girl in a wheelchair with a broken leg, who I see with a boy who is teasing her. Friend or date, I don’t know. 
• When this species gets together, they form a huge, shifting clump, effectively creating a ‘maze’ difficult to navigate. 
• Tragic how these creatures need songs written by those they don’t know to feel good about themselves. Can’t they tell they are already wonderful?

• Somehow, the way they jump up and down with fists in the air makes even one like me wish to join them. 
• A large amount of males has congregated at the opposite wall for no apparent reason. 
• I shall now progress into field study.

• Field study is exhausting. I shall prowl the perimeters of the room as an alternative. 
•The knot in the center of the room is not the only place humans frequent. Not even most, possibly not even half, dance there. The others dance and chat in small groups.

• As the night ages, the population of those who seek sustenance swell to unbelievable numbers. 
• Two boys did a flip--one over the other. I shall not theorize.
• The boy has stolen her wheelchair. 
•Approximately everyone thinks they’re weird, even if it’s simply subspecial traits manifest to by themselves. The only ones who can properly claim to be weird are the people who actually are. If you’re reading this, that’s probably you. Congratulations.

• Boys like the halls…?

• When viewed as a group, humans appear to be a single organism, a single mass… as opposed to separate, individual entities.

• There is a most unusual force utilized to make any subspecies of author (perhaps reader also) to feel inferior when walking among humans, when, in fact, we are immeasurably superior to the animal in question.

• Shyness is not a byproduct, but a precursor of a good dance.

That was fun. Really fun. Again, happy 2023!