Lord Gregorio

This is pretty good for a clremling. Who knew they had drawing talent. Jk. Good work.

MMMMM. I dunno.

I know this was posted a bit ago. But I've read a bit of it and have to say it's quite a good read. I like it. Good work.

Same. I like it though. The storie's quite interesting. I think AltonicKeys is just saying you can keep what the person says in a single paragraph until it gets decently long. It makes it easier to see who's speaking.

Ah. Okay. Makes sense. It takes practice but it was made a part of their nature. I will keep looking for any other questions.

Ayo. I like it. What did you use to make those maps?

This is pretty cool. I like it. It's a power that (Obviously) is balanced. Do they do the magic just by willing it to happen or would there be like hand gestures?

Ya. It was. I was watching some Shadiversity videos while writing and remembered this swordtember challenge and was like, why not try one?

Ok, that's a good idea. Creatures can eat the plants to become magical. Possibly. That would be funny and possibly scary.

I'm not sure if you included this already, but with the big plants there'd have to be a lot of water. I did see you said a lot of rivers, so that's good. Unless the plants need less water, the world would probably need quite a bit to sustain the big plants. (Depending on how big they are of course.) For the magic system. - They could be used for building houses or weapons. - Or you eat them like what you thought up. That's all I've got for now. If I come up with more, maybe I'll come back and edit this. Looks cool though

I was bored of writing this week, so I tried to draw..

It's beautiful. When I saw glass I thought obsidian, but this is much better than an obsidian knife.

Okay this is a cool start to a book. I enjoyed it. Very compelling writing. I liked how you created so many questions for readers to want to read further to answer. It was a good read. Nice work.

The link for a world I'm making. Just want some opinions and I'm bored. So. Ya. Feel free to take a look and comment on the doc with any input you have. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1RceI4DBOh3ewql8mrempae4_wWeR1dy0VedW4GXO44I/edit?usp=sharing

I thought it was good, but also agree that it sounded too much like the first couple Mistborn books. If you made a bit your own it would be even better. I enjoyed reading it.

That's good. I think every good magic system should have some sort of limitation.

I've never thought of world building by area. That's pretty cool. I normally just try to come up with the whole world at once. Doing it by area seems pretty cool though. It also looks pretty cool.

This is a bit of the first chapter to a book I'm working on. Any advice/help is welcome. Do you understand what's going on? I'm a new (I've been writing for years though) writer and would welcome opinions from anyone. Also. I've written quite a freaking bit on this. If anyone wants the google doc, I might put the link here. I don't think I'll end up publishing it since I'll probably be gone for 2 years soon. I'd like to share what I've done though and get some constructive criticism on my bad habits and stuff.

I like it. The gradient like thing looks cool.

Just that the green lantern corp can make whatever they want with their will and ring. If their ring is charged by the lantern.

Daing son. It's definitely dark and gory, but it's written well. It was kinda surprising too. Very very interesante.

I don't know if anyone's said this yet, but it's like green lantern, but cooler? With deeper depth to it. It sounds pretty cool to me.

It depends on how old the character is and if they can remember things wonderfully or if they remember things like me, haha. But from 3-10 could be a good range. I don't remember a lot of stuff from when I was 10. If the character is 20 or so memories from when they were 10 will probably be hard to remember. 3-6 is a good range though, like the others said.

I think of random, cool magic systems, then start to create a world with them. Sometimes I just start writing a story and I come up with strange creatures or a story line along the way. I'll then rewrite or edit what I've written with sort of a plot in mind. It will obviously be different if you're not a write by the seat of your pants writer. If you're like myself however, just think up random stories in your head or think of magic it would be cool to have and add some limitations if you want. World building (not too much, don't get stuck) can also help. It gets you out of book writing mode and helps you to see the world you're writing in. Brainstorming is a lot of it. Stupid ideas is another. .

I'm a newish writer, but I can try to suggest a few things that I would fix (though my style may be different). "The night was pitch black, the stars blocked out by an ominous cloud." sounds pretty good, but it seems like something every writer would write. Maybe something like, "Darkness pulsed as a cloud blocked starlight." Sounds cool. But so does the first one. I dunno. I really like this though. Also, when the women winces, maybe you could give more clue to her thoughts as to why. Maybe you want it written that way, but you could describe the coming army shortly, giving them a bit more dangerous feel. "the second army began pouring over the hill, shining despite the darkness. Hopefully this helps. If you want to keep it how you have it, it still sounds cool.