shortcake

before you read this, I apologize. I apologize that you have to deal with my late-night spiral. You've been warned.

everything is falling apart and i can't deal with it anymore

i cant deal with the stress

i cant deal with everyone complaining about me

telling people they should watch out for me

to be careful with what they say when they're around me

the stupid family therapy people are ruining everything

they pushed my friend away

made her think i was using her

told her that i was depressed

told her that im mental

even though that wasnt even their place

they shouldn't have done that

who gave them the right

to diagnose me as MENTAL

WHO

i wanna know, so i can talk to them personally

because they are WRONG

they promised me that they weren't going to talk about our family to anyone outside of the people on the "case"

and they lied

THEY LIED

and my caseworker made a bold move, telling my grandma that she won't be able to take care of my grandfather one he gets out of Tabitha

they're just making everything worse

they don't know what goes on in my head

no one does

not even me

i don't scudding care what other people think

if i leave and they don't want me to, then screw them

screw them all

i don't want them here

i don't want their help

i can't take it anymore

i want it to be over

i want it all to be over

make it stop

please.

...

i'm sorry.

i'm sorry, because even giving myself more freckles can't take this pain away

it just makes me feel more hidden and cornered

i panic every time i have to roll up my sleeves

work is going to be hell because of it

and this time, i can't use my bracelets to hide them.

i'm surprised no one noticed them tonight

but hey, i'm not complaining about it.

anyway, i'm sorry. hopefully ya'll won't have to deal with this much longer. <3