Lotus Blossom
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Everything posted by Lotus Blossom
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"My condition is much worse, sir. I find beauty in fallen birds. I find beauty in wilted flowers. I find beauty in shattered mirrors. I find beauty in melting candles. I find beauty in myself. I find beauty in the scars I carve for myself."
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"I hope for chaos. I hope for past vengeance colliding with future revenge. I hope for childish innocence colliding with the dark slaughter of naive. I hope I see this and smile. I hope I see this and drive myself insane. And everything will hurt less."
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"Perhaps, for some. The lucky ones, maybe. Yet I believe others have destroyed themselves too much. And others have been empty to begin with," Her face soured as she was clearly referencing Cedric.
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''I know how." She smiled. "I've heard many things... Many things that many people have said. And I find this star as a... saving grace, perhaps. It fills our lives with excitement. Despair. Fear. Exhilaration. I advise you to simply accept it before it hits, so you may enjoy your last moments as opposed to regret them. And perhaps, in the moments of wild, of chaos, of fear! In the moments of the storm, perhaps we can all be ourselves. Commit treason, laugh freely, spread a little chaos. Break from our own manacles of grief and self-pity. Perhaps this star will end our mourning for who we were, and begin to unlock who we are." She looked at the star again. "And I consider myself blessed to experience such a wonder."
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"So it seems." She looked back to him. "How do you see this star?"
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"What have you made of your observations, I wonder." She paused for a moment to turn her head towards the large glass windows of one side in the ballroom. "Isn't this star just exhilarating?"
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"Nowhere is a place of misery. And you've avoided my question."
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"That's unfortunate," Maeve sat down, her ringlets bouncing on her shoulders. "What brings you here, Envoy?"
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"You have none you wish to talk about, that is." She sighed, "Then where may you be from?"
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"Envoy," She didn't recall this name before. Odd. She knew almost everything about everyone who came in and out of this province. "Where may your family be from?"
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"How have you been enjoying your evening, sir?" She smoothened out her gown again. "I've realized that I didn't catch your name."
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With a quick wink to Cedric, Mae pushed herself away and began to approach Envoy again.
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"Oh, Cedric, you're spoiling the fun," She hissed, using his momentum to pull herself into him more. She pressed her hand to his back. "It's far too early to go, don't you think? I imagine you'd enjoy staying here," She batted her eyelashes.
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As many of you may have noticed.... I was not able to even visit the shard since Friday night. I'm really sorry!! But I do have a fair reason.....
I was in the ER.
I've been diagnosed with both pneumonia and a respiratory disease that has spread into my lungs.
Yep. Not great.
And now I've missed a day of school for the first time in 3 years. Perfect timing too- I've got 3 tests, 1 project, and 1 essay coming up. I also have a vocal chorus concert, a debate tournament, and a piano recital.
But I'm medically required to stay in bed and basically be force-fed liquids, fever-reducing medications, and antibiotics by my mother.
Also.
Last night the ER took so long.
I was there for more than 5 hours.
And the X-Ray took forever and the test results wouldn't show up for an hour.
Also I was so tired and every 15 minutes it was a new test or sample or someone checking my blood pressure or temperature again. It was insane.
But I'm resting.
And I'm alive!!
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I'm going to bed because I'm tired.
I'm going to bed because I'm tired.
I'm going to bed because I'm tired.
I'm going to bed because I'm tired.
I'm going bed because I'm tired.
So many ways to say the same sentence. But I rarely hear myself say these words anymore. It's always "I'll go to bed once I've finished homework" or "I'll be in bed studying" or "I'm exhausted- I need to finish this though," or "Shoot. I need to practice piano for the National Federation tomorrow. Ugh, I'm so tired," or even "I just wish I was in bed right now. I just wish I was in bed, asleep, and I wish I didn't have to get up."
But it's never "I'm going to bed because I'm tired."
That's cause and effect.
One first makes the observation that one is tired.
One then thinks on such an observation and comes to the conclusion that one will go to bed.
And that's it.
That's that.
It's so simple.
There's nothing restricting the acting of going to bed.
It's all based on impulse. When am I tired? When do I want to fall asleep?
And now, I've heard myself say those words for the first time in a while.
It's Friday night.
Now, when I'm tired, I can go to bed.
Goodnight
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"Willingly," she said through a smile. "What was your question, Cedric?"
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logging off for tonight and tomorrow up until 3:10pm EST.
i have a major science test that i just absolutely need to be ready for.
please please please if any of you guys see me on this site or posting or anything at any point in time until tomorrow afternoon, simply reply with "GET OFF THE SHARD. SCIENCE." (or something along those lines)
send good vibes or prayers please. or both.
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"Could we not spoil this evening?" She ran a hand down her long, close to body dress. She smoothened out her gown down to the knee before her hand lingered there for a moment.
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"Which man?" she replied, feigning innocence. Her steps glided across the floor with ease, (painting the essence of what soon will become Morticia Addams).
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to wilt
and die
yet finally
flyis to
love and
see but
never be
free -
She set down her glass of ambrosia on a near cocktail table as he pulled her towards the dance floor. Everyone's watching. Everyone's watching me. Everyone's watching him. Everyone's watching us. Everyone's watching. I have to do something. But I can't. ------------- "Will you ever love again?" They had asked her. She remembered her quiet response, even after all these years. "Could I?" "Will you ever stop hurting?" They had said. There was a pause. Neither of them breathed. And then she answered them. "Would I?" No. She wouldn't. She had come this far. ------------- "It's a lovely song, really," she muttered to Cedric.
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Biting back her tongue, she refrained from speaking. She just nodded and placed her gloved hand on his shoulder, preparing to dance.
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"My dress is too long," She said quickly. "It will tread on the ground. You'll slip."
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"The music is melancholic."
