Ranryu

Okay universe, you win. I got the message. Aren’t you proud of yourself? It’s my job to be the healthy, responsible one. It’s not like anyone else is going to do it. They all have their own problems.

If I feel sad, there’s always the person who’s grandpa just died.

If I feel angry, there’s always the person who lashes out in violent fits of rage.

Scared? Well I can’t be, because I’m the only one onstage who isn’t having a panic attack.

When I’m lonely, someone else is always actually alone.

When I consider the noose, there’s always my friends who cut themselves.

If I have relationship difficulties, there’s always the person who’s ex is making their life terrible. 

Confused? Good for me, but everyone else is confused too, so put on a confident mask and pretend that I know what I’m doing.

No matter how I feel, it never seems real when our next to someone else’s emotions. It seems more like a bid for attention— a childish cry for someone to look at me and care about me. It’s selfish. Clearly I’m the one who’s supposed to just be okay— the one who doesn’t need anything or take anything. You hear that universe? IT’S FINE I’M FINE EVERYTHING IS PERFECTLY FINE

I’m kinda excited and kinda afraid to leave my school and never come back. In three weeks, I can say my test run of life is officially over!