The Isochronism
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Everything posted by The Isochronism
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Current list: (In no particular order) Dune (2021) Spider-man Across the Spider Verse OR Spider-Man Into the Spider Verse Knives Out OR Glass Onion Thor Ragnarok OR Guardians of the Galaxy The Incredibles (Subject to change depending on my mood)
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Dear Skyward, Do you ever find it strange how much humans crave immortality? It's hard to think of something that's been less universally sought for throughout time. Humans are scared of death, and for some reason the fall of the world itself scares them less. I used to think the people that craved immortality were just idiots, not even worth thinking about. But then I met you, and... I started to see the appeal. When we talk time passes so quickly. You're like me, we both spend more time thinking then we should. Some people believe that time is wasted, but I think thoughts can change the world. Or at the very least they can change... me. That's why I write even when I know you're gone. Because I still think about you, and my thoughts need somewhere to go. And without you, they have to go here. If we both could have lived forever, we could have talked for days, we could have slept, we could have taken time to breathe. But our lives are so short that I've started to understand the call of the unachievable. Immortality. Something our mortal mind can't even comprehend. And so we crave it. But... humans don't just crave immortality. They're terrified of it. Have you ever noticed that every horror story is, at its heart, a story of immortality? Zombies, ghosts, vampires, monsters... they all have one thing in common. They're humans who don't die. Things that shouldn't be alive, but live anyway. Humans crave immortality, yet nothing scares us more. When we used to talk it felt like we never had enough time. I just wanted to sit by you forever, but it was always much too short. Too quickly reality caught up to us. But living without you... every moment feels like a lifetime. There's nothing to look forward to, nothing to live for. I'm still young, and the life I have ahead of me is terrifyingly long. Beyond this life perhaps immortality awaits, but that immortality terrifies me, because as humans we need there to be an end. It's the only thing that gives anything worth. Happiness ends, while heartbreak lasts forever. Eternal happiness is impossible, no matter what the pastors say. Happiness requires sadness, or it becomes worthless. And so after an eternity everyone will be unhappy. What awaits us in the world beyond? A real death? An end of our existence? Or a prison where we'll live the remainder of existence until we just become shadows, our minds broken and our souls gone. Ghosts of our former selves. That's what immortality is. Infinite, everlasting heartbreak. Love, Stoneward.
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Got some good writing done today, but it was in the form of revision not in the form of words, so I don't have the 2150 word count to post like I was hoping to most days. Still, I was super busy so I'm very proud of the things I got done. My book has some fundamental flaws, and the more time I spend evening those out now, the less I'll have to worry about them later.
I wish I had more time to think about writing, because devoting real time to just thinking about your stories genuinely helps them improve. Just as long as you're doing the writing also.
Also, I checked, and I am officially ahead of Brandon Sanderson. NaNoWriMo is a success thus far. I really hope I'm eliminated from the international essay competition that I'm in, because then I'll actually have time to write. I hate being busy.
No Ws today
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Took a break from writing today in favor of my mental health, if I get too exhausted in the coming days my writing will just get worse, so I'm forcing myself to recognize that a few much more efficient hours of work tomorrow will go farther than anything I could do tonight.
Still feel like the month is going great, I built in a break day or two knowing this might happen.
My advice to all of you: If I can take a day once in a while, you can too. Get some sleep.
No Ws today
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Whew, day 5 was rough.
Tomorrow maybe I'll give you guys some more cool stuff, (Like samples of my first chapter) but for now I need sleep. I suggest you all also get sleep.
Still looking for tragic love songs (although I'll note I got some great suggestions last time, I listened to every song and added a good few of them to my playlist) and I recommend you scroll down to where I posted my prologue and read that if you haven't.
Also, can someone tell me if I'm ahead of Brandon Sanderson?
That's all, love you guys.
Today's W Count: 2,053
Total W Count: 10,780
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I have exactly no idea if you’re ahead of Brandon Sanderson.
Hmm… *scrolls through playlist* Adele has some sad love songs…Pretty Funny from Dogfight is good, so is Who I’d Be, from Shrek (trust me on that one), oh and In Case You Don’t Live Forever, by Ben Platt.
Hehe I have lots of musical theatre-y songs.
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Okay, it's technically past midnight, but I got my writing done so it's fine.
NaNoWriMo day 4 was so fun. I got to write a whole fight scene, which I sometimes hate, but this one was fun.
I need your guys' help though. I'm on a quest to find as many tragic love songs as possible for my new playlist full of tragic love songs (because those make me so happy for some reason) so if ANY of you have recommendations for tragic love songs I swear I'll listen to them. The more tragic, the better!
I also love tragic romances as a book genre, those make me happy too. A part of me wishes Yumi and the Nightmare Painter had been one of those, but I understand that it was a brilliant decision (see my Yumi essay to see why) but even though I don't have time to read I would also love if you guys let me know what books have tragic romances. I can't be the only one who likes those, even if I am an outlier.
That's really all I have to say today, thanks for reading my updates! It really makes me feel special every time I see comments or likes, so I really appreciate you guys. Good luck with your writing or any other pursuit you happen to be pursuing!
Today's W Count: 2267
Total W Count: 8727
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Yay, another day done. Today's word count was the highest yet, and I was also relatively quick today with only two ish hours instead of three.
The trouble with writing fast is that you get worried that everything you're writing is nonsense. I'm sure you writers can relate. I have to write something, so I kind of just put anything. At least once I finish this I'll have something I can edit, so there's always that. I do happen to have the greatest editor, and also an insanely good cover artist. (Why do I have a cover artist? Well, let's just say it's complicated.)
I finished earlier today, so let's talk about the prologue that I posted a couple days ago (which you should read below if you haven't. Not because it's good, but because it's just fun to see the styles of other authors.)
That prologue is modeled after the first chapter of one of the first mysteries I ever read, the book that made me fall in love with the mystery genre. It's a book called "The Westing Game" which I highly recommend for any age. Something about the first chapter of that book sparks intrigue in a way that many mysteries don't right off the bat. Like my prologue, it introduces a cast of relevant characters, and provides relevant information to the mystery, before you even know what the mystery is.
It's worth noting, that I hate writing beginnings. They're definitely my weakness as a writer, but I think I can handle endings a lot better. I love writing endings. And so you just read what is probably the worst part of my book.
The book (which I will just call "SoC" for legal purposes, and because I like pretending my book is important enough to keep secret) is a genre of fantasy that I personally haven't seen before. It's a murder mystery in a fantasy world. I'm kind of tired of the classic questing that characters do so often in fantasies, and so I wanted to go a completely different direction with this story. You'll have to tell me how well I did, setting up the vibe that I wanted my book to have, and I always welcome advice from you good writers who take the time to read my status updates, because obviously I'm still terrible at starting a book well. I speculate the first few chapters of the book are even worse than what you just read, but it's possible I'll post a few of those here too at some point, let me know if you'd be interested.
Anyway, as always, I love you all, enjoy the remainder of your day.
Today's W Count: 2174
Total W Count: 6460
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Ooh…
Okay, so my thoughts. The tone I got from it wasn’t so much mystery as it was…well, the beginning of a quest; it felt like an inciting incident. But I also very rarely read mystery (not because I don’t like it, I just reach for fantasy), so I could be completely wrong there.
I did, however, catch the character introduction sort of feel, and I really liked that.
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Thanks for the thoughts @Edema Rue! I totally agree with you, I need more mystery vibes earlier, and also assassinations in prologues are overdone. There's some fun misdirections going on which is why I haven't cut all of that, but I still don't love it.
And @Thaidakar the Ghostblood thanks for being excited about my writing! You're the best! I'm glad to meet another Westing game fan.
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Late night update: just finished my almost three hours of writing to hit the word count. This little goal of mine is going to take a lot out of me. Luckily, I have you guys to hold me accountable (and give me reputation I totally don't deserve for just telling you my status) so I'll do my best to make this work. It is definitely exhausting though. Today went well, I'm having a fun time making things very creepy in my story. It's weird how much more progress you make when you have to cover multiple chapters at once, you can't really get writers block because you have to write something, and starting a chapter is much easier when you're already in the writing groove then it is if it's the first thing you write for the day.
I won't talk about the prologue I posted yesterday tonight (because I'm tired, and I doubt anyone cares as much as I do about my comments
) so if you haven't read that you should do so so that you can listen to me talk about what gave me the idea for this story sometime in the future. Also I always love hearing about people's thoughts and first impressions, especially when you have something as silly as a prologue.
Now I'm going to bed, hopefully the late start school tomorrow will make things easier for me. I hope you all have wonderful nights, and if any of my (many) followers is also doing NaNoWriMo I want to hear about it! I love writers!
Today's W Count: 2155
Total W Count: 4286
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I just finished day one, today's word count is 2131 My word count goal is between 50,000-65,000, so I'm on track to hit that, but I might not. 65,000 would finish my most recent book, which I'll do either way eventually but It'd be nice to have a bit of a breather come december. We'll see how it goes, that's like two and a half hours per day which is quite some, but I could always just forget to care about sleep.
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I'm officially done with my first day of NaNoWriMo. I feel great. It's been a while since I've written for this long, or with this much motivation. I'll put my word count below. Then again, the first day is easy, we won't know how I'm really doing until like day 15.
To celebrate, I'm going to give you guys a small taste of my writing. I'm not going to post the stuff I just wrote (because it's in the middle of a book, that's also the second book in a series) but I do want to give you guys a part of the first book in the series. I'll give you guys the entire prologue and I'll probably talk about it tomorrow or in a couple days. For now just read it if you're interested, and see if any of you can guess my biggest inspiration for this chapter, because if you can guess what book I modeled it after you have great taste in books. I'll tell you now though, it's probably not the type of book--- or even the genre--- that you'd expect.
I do want to hear your random thoughts if you take the time to read the prologue below, and in the future we'll talk about what vibes I was trying to establish.
I hope your NaNoWriMo is going as well as mine.
SpoilerChanevera faced west, and when the sun set, the buildings of Chanevera sparkled.
There was nothing more beautiful than the glint of the crimson light off the obsidian that made up the city. And yet despite the picturesque beauty of the unfolding scene, Shale stood completely alone. She was the only one in the entire city brave enough to face the darkening sky.
Every evening, just before the red sunset faded to black, the entire city fell into silence. It felt abandoned, with nobody to watch the light melt away. Nobody except Shale.
She blinked as the wind blew into her squinting eyes. It tossed her blonde hair as she stared into the fading sky. She knew that because of the empty streets, nobody would ever see her tears. She felt alone, but more than that, she felt scared. All she could think of was the final promise from her best friend.
“I can save you.”
In her hand she carried two notes. One was for her brother, Yoran. The other for her friend. Both were signed with her name, but Shale had no idea what either note said. It wasn’t her hand that had written them. She hoped they were goodbye letters, but she suspected something more. A final gambit that could save her world. But it wouldn’t save Shale. It couldn’t save her, no matter what her friend said.
Before the light was gone, Shale Zoura was going to be killed. And she was the only one who knew it.
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Dear Yoran,
I’ve figured it out. Everything is finally falling into place.
I know their secret.
There’s an ancient evil deep beneath the surface of this city, and I found it. I found them. Another cult, one much more ancient than the others. They call themselves ‘The Isochronism.’ Most people think they’re just a myth, but they’re real, and their plans for this city are more terrifying than you could ever imagine.
Tonight I am going to find them. I’m going to finally uncover the secrets that have been hidden for thousands and thousands of years. What could be more valuable than a secret? Something that nobody knows, except me.
I just need time. Give me time, and this will all make sense. No matter what happens, remember that I’m here for you. And even if I don’t make it back, I’m here with you. You’re the greatest brother I could ever ask for.
From: Shale Zoura
Yoran wrinkled the note, grabbed an obsidian helmet from his bedside table, and slid it over his head. There was a satisfying click as the helmet snapped into place. The inside of the helmet was as black as midnight, and it made the darkness even darker. The slits in the edge of the helmet restricted his vision enough that he couldn’t see immediately to his left or right, just straight ahead. But even though it obscured his vision, it also hid his face from anyone who might see him. They wouldn’t see the fear in his eyes, or the worry scrawled on his face. Instead, they’d see a knight, a sentinel. A foe that couldn’t be destroyed, who could destroy anything with the mere wave of a hand. He wasn’t weak, and he never had been. He would find his sister, no matter what. She’d only been missing for two days, and that meant he could still save her.
He reached into the pouch concealed on his belt and pulled out a single sphere. He threw it violently against his wall, and when it broke, the air split in half. White fire tore through space and time, opening a pathway to a citadel outside of reality, a crossroads that could take him anywhere.
When he finally stepped out into the night, walking the streets of the peninsula, he was getting impatient. He should have done this a long time ago. There was only one place Shale could be, and that was with her outsider friend, a boy who didn’t even know that magic was real. Shale trusted him. Maybe she’d sent him a note too. Or maybe she was even with him.
Yoran wasn’t sure how he’d find the boy yet. For now, all he had was a name. Areon.
* * *
Areon pulled his ragged shawl tighter around his shoulders, staring off into the darkness. He walked with purpose, happy to be alone. During the day, he spent time with his brother, but during the night, he found freedom in the darkness. Nobody here knew who he really was. They didn’t see him as a prince, but as another survivor. The thieves and beggars that walked the streets respected him. They’d still betray him if he ever trusted any of them, but they didn’t hate him. Not like they hated the nobles.
Areon was feeling especially angry tonight. He’d tried talking to his father about the disappearances again, but just like last time, his father had said that the disappearances weren’t his problem. Areon was scared. He was scared of whoever was making the people of his city go missing, and he was scared of the masked man who he’d spotted watching him.
Tonight, Areon was going to act. He was only a step under a prince; His father controlled most of the peninsula’s armada, making his family one of the most important ones on the peninsula. He had the power to do something about the people whom nobody cared about. He had to care, because he was the only one who ever would. It was up to him to save them. Beggars and orphans had been vanishing for weeks—or perhaps much longer—and Areon wanted to know why. It was always people without family or friends, people who didn’t matter to important families.
Areon froze. Someone was watching him. The entire night suddenly seemed deathly quiet. No seagulls screeching or wind blowing. He didn’t move. He didn’t want to look behind him and see that unnatural obsidian mask, with its single red eye, that had lurked just out of his vision for so long.
A white flash of lightning split the air, followed immediately by a crack of thunder. Areon jumped backward, and out of the shadows stepped an Obsidian Sentinel. It wasn’t the masked man. It was just one of the mysterious sentinels that roamed the city under the direction of the king.
“Areon,” the man yelled.
Areon looked up at the sentinel’s helmet, squinting.
“What do you want?” he asked.
“I want to know where my sister is,” the man said. “My name is Yoran Zoura. And if you don’t answer my questions, I will not hesitate to destroy you.”
Yoran raised a hand, and it began to glow with white light. Areon’s eyes widened. It was impossible. It was magic. That was supposed to be a myth, a story reserved for the long nights of fishing. This couldn’t be real.
* * *
The masked man stood over Shale’s broken body, a clean knife in his hand. He stood deep beneath the city of Chanevera. These tunnels weren’t like the rest of the city. They were catacombs, ancient and abandoned long ago. They didn’t look like what catacombs should look like, though. That just made them all the more terrifying for those who didn’t know the truth about them.
He took a step forward, his boots sinking into the carpet that covered the entire catacombs. The carpet muffled all sound, making the catacombs completely silent. Then the masked man knelt and plunged his knife into Shale’s body. It all began tonight. The beginning of the end. Chanevera would fall. It had to. There was nobody who could stop it now. The only person who could have ever stopped them was Shale.
He yanked his knife out of her body and didn’t even bother to wipe off the blood.
Nobody knew who he was, and he just had to ensure it stayed that way.
Today's W Count: 2131
Total W Count: 2131
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Pride and Prejudice
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As I am writing this, it is (slightly after) Midnight on November 1st 2023. Which means it is time for my official NaNoWrMO to begin. As many of you probably will, I'm going to be posting status updates every now and then (likely every day, so sorry) about my daily word count, and current progress. 50,000 words is my current goal, although if I hit 65,000 I would finish my current novel (NoC) which would be a huge accomplishment. So let me know if any of you are going to be doing anything similar, I would love to try for a discussion every few days about stuff. I don't like Reddit (for obvious reasons) so that's why I'm doing this here instead of on the r/sanderson subreddit. I would love it if y'all would let me know if I beat our guy Brandon Sanderson!
Oh yeah, and I just hit my 200th post, so yay. It's kinda weird because I don't post here much considering (there are people with well over 2000 posts who've only been here half a year) but I try to make every post something that's relatively important, not just doing random things. But still, I love being on here, and I hope one day to be recognized and known on the shard despite my low post and rep count.
Now I know it's not my AMA, but I'm going to give all my loyal followers and status update readers some free wisdom to begin the month.
SpoilerSteal a man's wallet, he'll be poor for a week.
Teach a man to be a writer, he'll be poor for the rest of his life.
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Dear Skyward, I cheated. That first time I saw you, when I showed you my deck of cards and pretended to read your mind. I cheated. Obviously you knew magic wasn't real, but you told me I was real. That my reality was enough. I tried to tell you that I wasn't actually amazing, that the secret was in the cards, but you wouldn't listen. You said you didn't want to know, you wanted it to keep being amazing. You wanted to believe even though you had no reason to. Now I want that too. Let me believe. The deck was marked. I know I can perform similar tricks without a marked deck, but it's nowhere near as smooth. I bet it would disappoint you to figure that out, that the only thing that makes me special is that I can read numbers hidden in the complex back of the card. I'm a magician, I'm supposed to be more than that. Every trick is supposed to be me, but no matter what effect I waste my time creating, the most amazing effects are the ones that are the most simple. Nobody cares about the complex sleight of hand, or the time that goes into memorizing a stack. Nobody cares about the subtle magician's forces, or the multi-step effects that do things that even a magician could believe was impossible... They assume they understand the most complex of forces, yet they look past the most simple marking forever. Magicians are a type of artist, I suppose. All that matters is creating art. We can't decide if people will love it, we can only strive to create. Over, and over, and over again. I hold these cards because they transform me into more than a human. I become a magician. Someone confident, who always has another trick up their sleeve. Someone who doesn't make mistakes, because every mistake is a part of the show. Everything becomes intentional. You asked me once how I was so confident in my own abilities. The truth is... I'm not. I tried to tell you that, but he wouldn't listen. You told me it was real, or at least that I was real. That my reality was enough. But every day that confidence crumbles further, and my clever props become less and less effective. When their simplicity is revealed, and my simplicity comes out, then maybe you'll see why I needed to be more. Maybe then you'll understand why I needed... You. In a deck full of marked cards, one card is normal. It bears no markings, because there is nothing on its face. The double sided card that comes with so many decks, which some magicians use for their tricks. Not me though. To me, that card is useless. And let every time my audience sees it, they're suspicious. While every fake card escapes their notice, the only normal card seems extraordinary. I am that card. I have no face, only an image. I look fantastic, mystical, and useful. But in reality I'm useless. But then again... maybe every card is useless. On its own a deck is just paper. Without a magician or artist to give us value, we're all nothing. And maybe... just maybe, the magician doesn't have any value on his own either. Maybe he gets his value from us. Where do you get your value? Are you a magician, or a card? A creator, or a creation? What makes you special? Because you are special, somehow. Which means as much as I hate to admit it... maybe I am too. Sincerely, Stoneward
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It is currently 2 AM where I am. My decision stands.
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2202 That's a lot of twos. Almost 3 really.
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Just wanted to share here. I've been so overwhelmed lately. My calling has been a lot for the past few months, and I have to teach a lesson next week. And there's some revelation I've gotten which I'm really struggling to follow. And our church just moved to a new building, the building we've been in for years that was within walking distance of my house. The new building is not. I wasn't questioning my faith exactly, just feeling exhausted. I felt like I shouldn't have been complaining, because other people had it worse. But something interesting happened the first sunday at the new church building. I'd constantly been told that we shouldn't be complaining about the switch in church buildings because some people had to drive hours to church buildings, and compared to them we had it easy. Surprisingly though when my stake president stood to speak his tone was completely different. Instead of telling us we had nothing to complain about, he just said "Thank you for your sacrifice, brothers and sisters." And somehow I think that's exactly what Jesus would have said. If there was anyone we would be justified in saying "you have nothing to complain about, compared to my sacrifice yours is nothing" it would be Jesus. It feels so selfish to even think of my calling, and my lesson, and my drive to church as a sacrifice. Because he did so much more. But I think Jesus doesn't care, he only sees us giving something. In the car today my mother suddenly turned to me and told me the Stake President's words had stuck out to her too. And she said "I felt like that's something you need to hear too. Even the sacrifices nobody knows you're making matter." They were exactly the words I needed. Just to know God was grateful for how hard I'm trying, so grateful he prompted my mom to tell me to make sure I understood. I felt like there are people on here who need to hear those words too. So I'll tell you the exact same thing. Jesus knows how hard you try to be good. He knows the sacrifice it is to do the little things every day, whether that be church, seminary, scripture study, prayer, or anything else. He loves that sacrifice. So thank you, brothers and sisters, for your sacrifice. Whatever it may be. I don't know, but God does. And if he were here he would tell you the exact same thing. Thank you for your sacrifice.
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I mean... how much do you get payed to do magic? If you're anything like me, and get payed $0, it really doesn't matter how good you are. Even if you're as good as I am, (which is... possible, but unlikely) you're still amateur. Or was this a comment about my spelling mistake?
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Ah, good to know. Always nice to meet a fellow amuture magician.
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Let's say hypothetically someone walks up to you many years from now, and asks you if you want to see a magic trick. He shows you a shuffled deck, and asks you to pull out any card randomly, saying he has already predicted which card you'll choose. Then, after you've pulled out a card, he reveals that it wasn't actually him that predicted what card you would choose, it was YOU. Many years in the past. Sure enough he directs you to a message you posted online years ago, predicting which card you would chose. You flip over the card, and IT MATCHES. What card did you just flip over in this very hypothetical scenario?
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The moment you've all been waiting for...
The Isochronism replied to The Isochronism's topic in AMAs
It's been far too long since my creatively named thread has been at the top of the AMA forum. WELCOME young and old, and nobody inbetween! If you're a newcomer consider reading my many posts above, to glean the wisdom therein. I just so happen to be the "Hornswoggling Wisdom Shouter" and though I'm now posting to this thread under a different name (a very cool sounding name I might add) that much will never change. And boy do I have some wisdom for you today. Veterans: You know what time it is. Newcomers: I'll tell you what time it is. It's the moment you've all been waiting for. Our question today is "what makes an object good" So first let's tackle the simple question that philosophers haven't been able to answer for decades (1) "what makes something good/evil in the first place?" My answer however is simple, below I've attached a handy flowchart for your convenience. (2) So anyway, now that I've answered the question that has plagued philosophers for generations, how do I apply it to this specific question? Well, here's the deal. If an object is used to do good (see citation 2 for what counts as doing good) then it is good. If it is used to do evil, it is evil. On the converse side, if it is used to destroy evil, it must be good. Somehow if it is used to destroy good, it is also good, because destruction is fun. (3) Let me provide some examples: a light bulb is used to illuminate people trying to do their homework. It is used to do good! Now if it was used to illuminate people who waste too much time citing fake evidence for example, that same light bulb would be evil. Ladies and Gentlemen, it is not things that are evil, it is people. (4) People say "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" but did you know The first lemons came from East Asia, possibly southern China or Burma. The lemon is a cross breed of several fruits. One fruit is the bitter orange, best known in the west for its use in marmalade, cocktails, and tea. The bitter orange has about six different varieties, the best known being the Seville orange (the famous ingredient in marmalade) and the bergamot orange (used in Earl Grey tea). The bitter orange itself is a hybrid of two other citrus fruits: the pomelo and the mandarin. To create the lemon, the bitter orange was cross bred with the citron. In most languages of Europe, citron is the word for lemon, deriving from the Latin word citrus. This can cause some confusion, since the citron and the lemon are two different fruits. (5) ANYway, Do you know what this means? Life didn't give us lemons, we gave ourselves lemons. So if anything answers your question, it's that. And some wisdom: If you want to make your enemies mad, mail them some milk. Like seriously, pour milk into an envelope, mail it to your enemies, and watch the revenge comence. Imagine this, your enemy gets an envelope and they're like "Look, a nice note from my arch enemy" but NO it's just spoiled milk. Congratulations, you're a horrible person. (6) Citations: Enjoy your next 24 hours. Oh yeah, and I accidentally posted this before it was finished (hence the edit), so don't @ me. I do my best, it's not my fault control+shift=you posted your draft, congratulations you look ridiculous. -
I created a topic to put my random writing things in if any of you are interested, similar to the many "short scenes" posts out there. You don't really need context, and I don't provide any, but I'm just experimenting with a character voice via a letter, which used to be a fairly common way to write stores but is a lot rarer now.
When I have writer's block, I've found it helps to just write something. I can always write something. Whatever happens to be on my mind, and something I can write easily without editing. It's probably not super good, but it's here for anyone who happens to wonder what my unedited writing is like.
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Dear Skyward, You at least have to be real. I've decided that even if none of this matters, you still matter. Your smile still lights up a room. It makes me want to smile, for just one more day. I've always loved the simulation theory. Occam's razor. The belief that a universe as complex as ours is impossible, and the much simpler explanation is that none of us are really real. It's all just a simulation. A dream. For centuries humans have been exploring that very idea, with stories like the Truman Show, the Matrix, Inception, and the many other adaptations of the same theme. Each asks the question, "What if none of this is real? What if the only thing that's real... is me." "Solipsism," they call it. The belief that you're the only person in the universe that matters. The universe sprang into existence when you become conscious and it will vanish when you die. It's irrefutable. How could anybody else convince me they really had free will, that they were really more than a product of my imagination? I could never know for sure. Do I believe that? Not really. But deep down that belief still calls to me. In those moments of silence between long days, I hope beyond hope that I am somehow important. That I am more than a speck of dust in the cosmos, hopeless, tiny, irrelevant. Barely more than a ghost. Because either the universe is mine, or it is nobody's. Either I own the world, or it's all a lie, and we're all just... irrelevant. But you're not irrelevant. You at least, have to be real. I wish someone could prove me wrong. I wish someone could convince me that I wasn't alone. I just want to wake up. I JUST WANT TO WAKE UP! And you, Skyward, you probably think you're awake too. But how could you ever convince me, when you don't even know that you're not alone either. Maybe we're all alone. And of course there's another possibility. I've always been arrogant, but I have to face the statistics. What are the chances that I'm the only one in the universe who matters? Of all the millions of people that could have lived, why would it be me? Which means maybe I'm not the one living in the simulation. Maybe I'm part of it. Maybe I'm a creation of your mind, meant to draw you in, fool you. Make you think you could live. Maybe I'm not real, you are. I'm living in your dream. I'm orbiting your universe. Maybe it was always about you. I know you're real, I've seen your smile. I know you're real, I've read your words, as warm as any hug, as you promise me I can be happy. You lift me up. Make me feel like I'm not irrelevant, that my struggles matter. I can tell you anything, and you'll listen. You'll cry with me, pray for me. You're the hero of the story, because you fight every day. Maybe I love you just because I envy you. I want to fight. I want to matter. But I'm not real. You are. So go live your life while I live this lie. Reach for the sky while I stay abandoned on the ground. The stars are infinite. So are you. Every day I'll smile, because you won't be happy unless you see I can be happy... without you. Unfortunately, that's not how love works. But... you don't have to know that. It's worth every second of pain to know you can be happy. It's worth lying to you every day just to see your smile. I'll carry the burden of this simulation, this world within worlds. So you can be happy. Because that's what love is. I hoped once that I could be part of your reality. That if I became your anchor, you'd find a way to pull me with you, up toward the stars. I was hoping that if our stories became entangled, we'd both have freewill. I have realized one thing though. If this was all fake, I wouldn't feel so broken. Shattered by the earthquakes of love. My pain is like a hole in the illusion. You made me real. —Sincerely, Stoneward
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2199 I'm outlawed due to pineapples. Also pistachios become evil and sentient and ruin the entire world.
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Same goes for me, I'm kind of a self employed full-time writer... all my free time is spent grinding my most recent book. In 5 years, you'll thank me, don't worry. Thanks for tagging me though, makes me feel important.
