Thaidakar the Ghostblood

Happy birthday!

You know...

There are some times where you want to watch the world burn while sitting on a balcony, drinking a fine drink, laughing as you feel dread emanating from your very core.

There are times when you want to be the villain with a master plan, the villain who gets to say to the hero, "You thought the world worked like that?

"It never did."

There are times when you want to be the one who finally gets to unleash their bestial tendencies, their inner urges to rip, to tear, to destroy.

There are times when you want to be the one who gets the last laugh, the one who rises above all the others as every single person who ever harmed you, who ever spoke ill of you, who ever hurt those you loved is burned in a cacophony of screams.

Then, you remember who you are, remember the cost, remember all the reasons why not to unleash it all. You remember that you are who you are and to release it all would be to destroy yourself alongside the others. You remember that to give into those bitter, brutal ideas would be to abandon the very thing that makes you you. By winning it all, you lose it all. 

And, so, you settle back into your chair, setting aside your manic plans for world domination, smiling contentedly while thinking, "If only they knew that I see a path for their destruction, yet I will not take it." You abandon the idea of what you could do in favor of what in life you love.

And that is what an hour of my day was after I got a little mad because Math doesn't make sense to me how the book is trying to teach me, even though I know a perfectly good way to solve all the problems in the random backwards way that my mind created for that specific task.

Welp

I love the movie version of Snape.

In other words, I just watched the Half-blood Prince for the first time with my family.

I loved it, but hated it at the same time. I loved most of it, except for the part leading up to the ending. Not the island sequence, that worked well I think, but could've used more details. No, I mean the part where they apparatus directly to the place before the island instead of going to the three broomsticks and then appareling to it. I also mean the part directly after where the fight had already started. Oh, and did I mention the absence of the fight altogether. *sigh*

And speaking of absences. Where the freaking heck is Fleur? What about Bill? And what about, you know, Ginny's human-like attributes? Instead of the fiery, funny, awesome Ginny, we get a randomly wistful looking Ginny who talks like Padme in AotC while tying Harry's shoes robotically in between snogging some random dude in a corner. *groan*

And, furthermore, what about the funeral? I know that itty bit we got at the end, but what about the tomb? Idk, I liked the tomb sequence. What about some of the more important flashbacks? What about the defense against the dark arts lessons? What about Ginny's and Harry's entire relationship?

Aight, that's enough of the negatives-

I loooooooooved how they portrayed Snape and Draco. And, really, just the villains in general. I liked how they did them, I liked how they had them have emotion, have a variance in how they were written, have a human spark inside of them that occasionally showed us a window into the inner workings of their soul, what made them tick. For instance, in the moment where Draco and Dumbledore are talking on the tower, Draco reveals by saying if he doesn't do it, Voldemort will kill him, that he seeks approval, that he fears those who have authority over him, and also that he will obey his parents above all else. His wavering also shows us that while he will lord over the fact that he's a death eater, he still is a child, he's still the person who doesn't want to kill anyone. For him, before then it had all been a game to use all of his crafty brain cells to figure out how to best maneuver the pawns to his will. Now it had taken on a whole other cast to him, it was now so real that he was terrified out of his wits of what the consequences of his actions would be.

Snaaaaaaaaaaaaape

SNAAAAPE

Alan Rickman is amazing.

I loved how Snape was interacting with everyone, how he interacted with Dumbledore in specific.

Ron, Harry and Hermione as a trio were shining as the best in this one, truly showing how they really meshed together as friends and how funny they could truly be if the writers put their heart into it. 

Harry and Ron talking about girl's skin- XD, it was hilarious.

I realize I've been talking for paragraphs and paragraphs now-

If you made it to this point, sorry for how long it was. I'm impressed.

If you skipped to the end, you didn't miss much beyond me rambling about how I like Draco Malfoy's character arc in the movies and the book.

Excuse me, but I would not like to human today.

Has anyone had that moment when you're writing something and you realize it's not something you want any of your family to read? Like, not because it's bad writing, but because they would think you're insane for writing about someone blasting someone's brains into the wall while thinking "Ya know what, I'm a poet!"